Lana

I squished my face up, "Your chocolate week, what the hell does that mean?"

"Junior you can't be that obtuse, my period you dunce. For that you can pay for mine as well as yours."

Ah, another lesson learned by a guy who hadn't been married for a long time, I was sort of glad it was my sister who reminded me and not someone else. She fiddled around with the radio until we were close enough to home to pick up the classic rock station we always listened to before, then she promptly fell asleep. An hour later we were pulling in the driveway, the folks were waiting on the stoop waving as I shut off the car. I got out and walked around to open Lana's door extending my hand to help her out, she walked toward mom and dad while I fished the pies we'd baked from the backseat and followed suit. It was all hugs and kisses on the cheek except me and mom, she always gave me one of those mom kisses on the lips when I arrived and when I left, she used to do it with Lana too, but something had changed along the way.

Lana and dad were in the entryway talking, after setting the pies on the counter I went back to hang my coat, I put my hands on Lana's shoulders, she rolled them back allowing me to slide the coat off her arms without missing a word talking with dad. I hung her coat and mine in the closet, turned and did something that surprised me but not her. I softly put the flat of my hand on the small of her back gently guiding her toward the living room, she smiled and said *thanks junior* as she veered off into the kitchen doorway where mother stood watching.

Getting myself a soft drink from the fridge I overheard mother talking to Lana, "What the heck was that all about?"

"What was what all about mom, I have no idea what you're on about."

"Junior opening your door, helping you out, carrying the pies in, taking your coat, hanging it, and then guiding you from the entryway with his hand on your back. That's what I'm on about, you act like newlyweds for crying out loud."

I heard Lana laugh softly, "Mother ... just how many glasses of wine have you had? Cuz you're talking kind of silly, is it wrong for junior to be polite and treat me like a lady just because I'm his sister? Mom it's like we're soulmates or something, we've always been close, why would we change that now? He's kind to me, he makes sure I'm safe and sound, as crazy as it may sound, we even have similar likes in what we watch on TV."

I stopped on the other side of the doorway waiting for mother's response, "No, it isn't wrong at all, but honey not everybody will see it as innocent, yes, you've always been close but honey you aren't teens anymore, what I'm going to say may not sound right, but hear me out. You're a beautiful lady, your brother is a handsome man, you live in the same house and sleep fifteen feet from one another, are you catching my drift? It wouldn't be the first time something like that happened."

Lana yelled out, "No more wine for mom, she's drunk." Then hugged her. "Mama there isn't anything like that going on, although I have to admit if he weren't my brother ... weeellll."

Mom snapped back at her, "See, that's exactly what I mean, you two be careful, you're bound to see each other in different stages of undress, you're both young and you both have desires, you just be careful little girl."

I was on the love seat sprawled out when Lana and mom came to join us, Lana walked to me, kicked my foot with her stocking covered toe and said, "Move over, you act like you own that loveseat." Then sat right next to me, I gave mom a quick glance and it was obvious she wasn't pleased with us at the moment.

Conversation centered around her new job, what friends she had made, how she liked the new position, was she looking for an apartment, was I keeping her car looked after, and on and on. I sat quietly letting it happen around me, I didn't need to be involved. When mother made mention it was time to start putting the dinner together Lana put her hand on my knee and told me she'd see me at the table, that yielded another momentary scowl from mother, boy we were pushing all her buttons. After clearing the table, loading the dishwasher and hand washing what didn't fit in the dishwasher we adjourned to the living room where dad was screaming at whoever missed a pass or block or who knows what.

Mom sat on the couch and patted the cushion next to her while looking at Lana, I was reclaiming my position on the loveseat when Lana sat next to me. Mom gestured for her to sit with her, she looked at me, I nodded toward mom, Lana and I saw each other every day of the week, mom needed to sit with her baby girl. I was busy checking my eyelids for holes when I felt the cushion next to me move, Lana laid her head on my shoulder, pulled an afghan over her and promptly drifted off.

Mother looked at me, "Does she do that often?" I nodded. "She's vulnerable you know, the abuse and divorce left her broken, make sure you treat her good, which I know you will. You kids be careful living together."

There it was again, her admonishing us to be careful. Did she think we were screwing each other half to death throughout my house? When Lana began to move and waken mom told dad to turn off the TV.

"Back to my question earlier, Lana are you looking for an apartment? You should have enough money to do that. Dad and I can help if you need us to. Right Harry?" Being a dutiful husband he nodded.

Lana had dressed in a skirt/blouse combination for the holiday and she looked lovely. Sitting straight but still leaning into my side she made sure the afghan was covering her legs and looked directly at our folks.

"No, I'm not actively looking for an apartment, if junior tells me to take a hike I'll do it then, but for now there's no reason to. His home is plenty big for two people to not be bumping into one another all the time, I have my own bedroom and bath, I have a stall in the garage, I can use his washer and dryer for my laundry, we share groceries and next month I'll be contributing toward utilities. We get along great, why would I move?"

Dad looked at mother, "Yes, why would she move? You're making a mountain out of a mole hill Dorothy. Let them be, they're way beyond the age where they need us sticking our two cents into their lives."

And that was the end of it, the rest of our visit was actually pleasant, we played board games, Lana and I went for a walk around the neighborhood running into people we'd known for years, while playing cards Saturday night Lana announced we would be leaving in the morning. Though mother protested Lana explained I started work at six, she started at seven, we had laundry to do and getting home at four or five Sunday afternoon wouldn't cut it. Mom and dad wanted to hoard us another day but relinquished.

Walking down the hall to our old bedrooms that night I tugged on Lana's shirt sleeve, "Thanks for telling them we leave tomorrow, I don't know if I could endure another day of their smothering. Sleep well, let's leave by ten."

"Night junior, ten it is."

After fuel and a potty break at the halfway point she was wide awake and ready to talk, I was glad, staying awake was beginning to be a chore.

"Did you hear what mom was saying to me Thursday when we first got there?" I nodded. "Can you believe that, she was talking like we're sleeping in the same bed. Does it bother you that I lean against you and fall asleep on your shoulder, or have my arm through yours when we walk?"

"Nope, doesn't bother me at all, in fact I like it, I'm the envy of every guy with you on my arm. As for sitting close and dozing, I like that too."

"Junior, do you remember what your nickname for me was when we were younger, before we had boyfriends and girlfriends?"

I laughed softly, how could I forget, glancing over at her I smiled, "Yes I do..... kitten."

She smiled, "Would you call me that again, I always felt so special when you called me that name."

Getting home just after four we took our bags inside and decided to have a bite, grocery shop and settle in for the night. The first two items went well, but before we'd changed into to our comfies for the evening she remembered Marshall's had a dress she wanted on sale for black Friday weekend. Off we went to Marshalls, after trudging around that store for over forty five minutes we checked out. Why is it that a man can walk into a store, buy what he wants and leave, but a woman has to walk every aisle and look at every rack before she goes back and grabs the first thing she looked at, then checks out?

Whoever it was that said men's brains are like a waffle was right, we have a box for everything and keep things where they belong, and women's brains are like a plate of spaghetti, there are hundreds of open strands and all have a separate beginning and endings. And men wonder why a woman the ability to talk endlessly. Of course, then she needed nylons and new shoes to coordinate, when she dragged me into the underwear section I handed her my debit card and told her I'd wait on the bench by the door. She knew my pin so I wouldn't have to stand behind her looking like the neighborhood perv as she checked out, and why is it the checkout ladies have to hold each slinky item up and comment?

It was after nine when we finally got home, I quickly changed into sweats and was popping corn when Lana walked into the kitchen in her normal oversized tee and panties. Grinning at me she turned sideways and lifted the edge of her shirt enough so her panties showed.

"Red with white hearts tonight, now you won't have to sneak a peek."

We both laughed at her attempt to minimize any tension that may have remained after mother's comments a few days ago. With a blanket over her legs, feet tucked under her butt, squeezed tight to my side we shared the bowl of popcorn and a Dr. Pepper, neither of us wanted a whole one by ourselves. Some people get spleeny if you drink out of their bottle or glass, that wasn't the case with us, never had been, if one of us was drinking something so was the other one if they didn't have their own. By eleven we were bushed, plodding down the hall she slipped her arm through mine as though we were walking in a store, her firm breast felt good on my arm and I wondered if she liked it as much as I did.

With Thanksgiving out of the way we set our sights on Christmas, since it was my year to work the holiday we immediately squelched mother's constant yammering about us coming home, mind you I hadn't been home for Christmas in over five years and Lana was nearly the same. She wanted to have a tree and some deco's, I'd never owned a tree so we bought one of those artificial ones with the lights already attached, after picking out a few boxes of ornaments we were finally going to get out of the store. I could have complained but I didn't, what would be the reason, for the first time since my divorce my home would have a festive look, I liked the idea until she wanted to put up lights outside. That's when I said whoa, I wasn't going to freeze my fingers so we could have a few twinkly lights on the house, I wasn't ready to be that domesticated.

I enjoyed shopping with her, it was fun and funny, we laughed, joked, played grabass a few times and when it came down to it, we simply liked being together. At work we always behaved befitting our roles but after work and weekends we spent as much time goofing around as we did resting, during the two week build up to the holiday there was many an evening that we shopped and meandered around different stores taking in the displays. Her arm always through mine, me always proud as a peacock to have such a pretty girl with me. At times we would come across someone from the hospital and have a coffee or just chat a moment before moving on, one in particular played over and over in my mind.

An older woman Lana worked with and her husband happened upon us looking at a display through the Penney's window, standing behind us she said hi, followed by an introduction to her husband and a comment.

"You two are like a pair of newlyweds, never apart from each other, that's so sweet."

It wasn't necessarily the lady's comment but rather Lana's reply that was revolving in my head.

"In a way we are like newlyweds, we've both had a bad go at marriage, now we're watching out for the other's feelings and well-being. I'd be lost without him and I dare say I think he'd be lost without me. We're happy aren't we junior? Oops, everyone at the hospital knows him as Harry."

I nodded, "Yup, never been more at ease in my adult life. We just seem to fit together and compliment each other, if you know what I mean."

They agreed and went their way. As we walked I could feel Lana hug my arm a bit tighter, with her holding my arm tightly she looked up while we strode.

"Is what you said true, you've never felt more at ease in your adult life? That you think we fit together and compliment each other?"

There was a Santa in the middle with kids in line, I steered her to the benches overlooking the area and found one that was unoccupied. Taking her hand I turned to face her.

"Yes, that's exactly how I feel, at ease, content, and happy with my life if you're in it. Don't judge what I'm about to say, but if we weren't sibling's I could be madly in love with you. Wait, that didn't sound right, I do love you madly, if we weren't sibling's I would want to love you in an intimate way as well. Oh shit, this is coming out all wrong, sorry if I offended you."

She squeezed my hand as she moved her head forward gazing at the little kids waiting. I assumed I hadn't fucked up too badly or she'd have let go of my hand and walked away. No more was said between us until we were on our way to the car, stopping a foot or so short of the car she stopped and moved my body to face her.

"You didn't offend me junior, if I'm being completely honest your words flatter me, I can't deny how much I enjoy your company and I've never felt more safe or cared for in my life. Mom was right, we need to be careful, I could fall for you in a romantic way in a heartbeat. We know we love each other, that can never be taken from us again, we're big people, so let's see how we do. Okay?"

Music to my ears, she wasn't upset with me and didn't puke on the spot when I told her loving her intimately would be easy if we weren't directly related. Neither of us was naïve concerning incest, our mother's oldest sister married a first cousin and they seemed to be just fine after 37 years of marriage, I just don't think either of us ever considered something like that.

We minded our P's and Q's making the most of our time together, making sure we didn't take the other for granted or behave in ways we hadn't been before our three minute conversation in the parking lot. Though the *sexual revolution* of the sixties had opened up an entirely new realm of morality, incest was still a major no-no in 1981, therefore I put it in one of those boxes in my mind and closed the lid. If I couldn't have her why torture myself wishing I could, little did I know she was thinking the same.

With me working Christmas day we decided to exchange gifts Christmas Eve. I'd gotten her a blouse/skirt combination along with a string of pearls and a matching ring. I'd been hinting for more work clothes for weeks, she gave me two pair of work jeans, a dress flannel shirt and a pair of new leather winter gloves, dress gloves, what I had were worn through. She had picked up a couple of nice T-bones to grill which I did in the cold, those with baked potatoes made for a great Christmas Eve meal. Putting our gifts back under the tree we sat in just the light from the tree as we listened to a radio station with nothing but seasonal music.

Knowing I'd need to be up at five we made our way down the hall at nine, she was slightly ahead of me as she reached her door, I playfully reached out and grabbed her butt cheek, not a slap or pat, I had her cheek in my hand holding it. She instantly spun pinning me to the wall with both hands on my chest, I was ready for the berating I expected to happen, but never did. Looking up she grinned.

"Hey bucko, you don't get to grab my ass for nothing, there will be a fee."

I laughed, "Okay, what's the fee?"

As serious as one can be she stared into my eyes, "A soft sweet kiss."

I stammered seeking words but found none, she pushed harder against my chest with her hands, "I'm not asking you to tongue me dingbat, just a soft sweet kiss goodnight. Is that really too much to ask?"

Leaning down I kissed her long and soft. "Was that okay?" I asked.

"More than okay, thanks. I'm having my period, I feel fat and undesirable at the moment, I needed to be cuddled and made to feel good."

Before I could speak she had her arms around my neck and kissed me again before pushing back, "Merry Christmas junior, you'll be gone before I get up, have a safe day and make sure you come home to me."

Just like that she had turned, walked into her room and closed the door leaving me in a daze. I was trying to wrap my head around it without elevating the actions to a place they may not have been meant for. I did like her lips, soft yet thick, the smell of her hair and the faint scent of her perfume, yes indeed, it was shaping up to be one of the more enjoyable holidays of my adult life. Christmas day went without a major break down of any kind, several small items that needed attention but nothing to keep me past six when the overnight guy came on duty.

Walking through the door at six thirty my nostrils were greeted by the wonderful smell of something in the kitchen, Lana had the table set with candles and a small floral arrangement she'd gotten a few days prior. Putting my hand on her shoulder as she faced the stove I asked.

"What's for supper Kitten, it smells delicious. Didn't eat much at lunch and there really wasn't a chance to snack during the afternoon so I'm famished."

Without turning around she covered my hand with hers, "Pork loin, mashed potatoes and gravy, steamed carrots and a white cake for dessert, your milk is poured and in the fridge. Why don't you go wash up and I'll get everything on the table."

We finished off the evening on the couch, my legs stretched out, her lying between them with her head nestled in my chest, my hand draped across her upper arm as we watched White Christmas for the fifteen thousandth time, it was her favorite film during that time of year and we hadn't watched it up to that point. Our walk to the bedrooms wasn't anything like the night before, we did stop at her door where she put her arms around my waist hugging me.

"Just hold me, I'm feeling needy and clingy again tonight, my tummy hurts and I feel yukky."

With my arms around her shoulders I held her tight for at least a minute before she pushed back and went into her room. Two days before New Years Eve we were working on a puzzle after supper when the phone rang, I let it go to the answering machine and wished I hadn't. What she heard was the following, "I know where you are bitch, I own you and I'm coming to drag your ass home with me, I'll decide what punishment you get later."

She burst into tears and clutched her chest as if she couldn't breathe, it took five minutes or more to get her calmed down, thinking he had threatened her life I called the cops. They were more than accommodating but figured since he was so far away he was probably drunk and venting, they did agree to add patrols to the neighborhood and with his registration number they would keep an eye out for his car. We planned to have a few people from the hospital over for New Years Eve so when the doorbell rang we thought nothing of it as Lana stepped toward the door.

I was in the kitchen when I heard a blood curdling scream and then "Junior" as she raced from the entry hall. If you were to look at the front door from the inside of my house the kitchen doorway is the first door on the left about eight feet from the front door. Seeing Lana running past I stepped into the open doorway and turned just in time to nail Devin square on the nose with my right fist, pain shot up my arm, I could wiggle my fingers determining nothing was broken, shit head lay knocked out with blood spurting from his nose.