All Comments on 'Larry and Brianna Reunited'

Could have been so much better, you definitely need an editor or someone to proof read, had to give up in the end.

Your story is very descriptive, almost to the overdone stage. The story line is good but the sex is a little shallow and juvenile. Still all in all a good read.

First you state that Mom died from complications with the little sister's birth.

Then you wonder if Mom would still be alive if said little sister crawled into bed with her instead?? A, how the fuck would she do that if the mom is DEAD B, how the fuck would that change anything?

I think you should have "pretended" to have artificial insemination. This way the baby could still be a product of their love. All other individuals would assume Larry and Brianna shared a home as simply brother and sister and no concern of incest.

I enjoyed the story.

So I would need to assume you have no siblings. What the heck is up with all the Sis and Bro crap in every dialog? We get it that they are siblings so just let them converse already. This story was very difficult to read at best.

Enjoyed the story, would like to see it continued. Thanks

The plot is okay, but the dialogue just isn't natural. "I put all of those assets into high quality, high yield investments in your name with me as the administrator and beneficiary in the event of your death." Who talks like that to their beloved brother? This is just an example, most of the dialogue reads rather stilted.

And the narration also needs work, like this gem: "When we returned to her home Brianna told Gertie that we had returned home."

Bro, sis, honey, baby, sweetheart, sweetie, precious, yuck.

Writer wasn't military, too many incorrect terms. Mentioned bro saved most of his money then broke??? Sisters mention of money she had was huge mismatch to the property she owned. She was very low of funds at a glance. Maintenance on mansion and taxes would wipe her out. So barely know sis then lets just fuck??? No explanation, but why enlist 4 times and just throw away a retirement??? Were 2 of the enlistments for 6 years??? Confusing story...

I am enjoying this story even the minor grammar errors and stilted dialog doesnt affect my reading. I would love to read more of this couple as they move through life together. I wonder if her introducing him everywhere as her brother will create issues down the track especially when a baby is obvious. Keep going please I want more.

YOU SERIOUSLY NEED AN EDITOR. JOUR STORIES ARE GOOD, JUST BADLY WRITTEN. FIND IT STRANGE THAT GERTIE WAS ASKING HIM SO MANY QUESTIONS IF SHE WAS THE HOUSEKEEPER

Good story, but a lot of unexplained things. Why was the dad so angry with the son? Why would he blame the son for his wife’s death since she died from complications from his sister’s birth six years after the son’s?

There's a lot of good stuff to like about this story, once you get done wading through all of the Grade Triple 'A' Cheddar Cheese. 🧀 Seriously, here's an example:

"I didn't harbor any ill will toward you, Sis, and that it is water way long gone under the bridge. You were just a child in elementary school then and you really didn't know what was happening and you had you no ability to do anything about even it if you did, Sis."

Typically, a lot of authors writing brother/sister incest stories commit this error. Namely, the blatant overuse of "Bro" and "Sis" in the dialog. It's awkward to read and hugely distracting. People talking with their own siblings do NOT speak with each other that way! 🙄 Most of your audience is reading your story specifically because sibling incest excites their prurient interests, so they hardly need the blatant emphasis shoved into their faces.

One of the scenes that wasn't at all cheesy was when Larry made Brianna blackout with the intensity of her orgasm. I actually did that in real life to my second wife when we were first dating. Before I came into her life, she had never experienced multiple orgasms. First, I went down on her and made her cum several times. She started begging me to stop, so I immediately climbed on top of her and took her missionary position. She came again from just the initial penetration and began cursing me. So I upped the ante by sliding my hand down between us and fingering her clit as I continued to pump in and out. I had her cumming one right after another like an anti-aircraft gun. She clawed my back. She fisted the sheets. She began backpeddling, trying to get away then she collapsed. She was out cold, so I pushed deep inside and held her close to me. She came to a few short seconds later. "What...? Where am I?" Then she looked me in the face, "Oh yeah. You bastard!" My dick stayed hard as a rock while I laughed my ass off. 🤣 She made me promise to finish "selfishly" and I agreed. It didn't take much to make me cum after that because my ego was off the charts. Not to mention the sweet nothings she whispered into my ear as I fucked her.

I really wanted to give you top marks for a great story, but there's too many other problems with it. For instance, at 12 years old, Brianna was probably in 6th grade and out of elementary school when Larry joined the military. 😳

So 3/5.