All Comments on 'Last Night'

Wonderful. I gave it my usual top rating, 4. Doesn't get much sexier for a first-time story. Clearly, just a snapshot in time leaving much unknown. Were they swingers from before? Did Ed know what they would probably be doing and did Ed's wife? How many days will he be staying? Did he answer her soft knock? Did he bring condoms? And what about his business calls. Did he get off early in the day? Did they plan a social event where he would be expected to bring his 'wife'? Do they do threesomes? Quite open for expansion!

You could benefit from a volunteer Beta Reader/Editor...some of the logistics were a bit awkward which another eye might have spotted. (e.g. sitting on her hubby's dick and reaching over to kiss a man on a side chair at the same time).

Keep 'em coming.

Who are these people? How did they got here? Ed's wife is in the game? In the morning she went to Ed's room nor caring if the children woke up? A bad story.

Another poor attempt at a first time story. You blew your chance, now everyone knows you don't have what it takes and will ignore you.

Did I miss the story tags?

Meh.

Would be nice to warn that this is a wimpy cucky story.

Not the best story. Confusing. No depth: Character development. Motivations. Reactions. Impact to relationships.

A bit of a crash and burn.

This shows potential and talent. Just needs a little more character development. I like what Odiouser had to say and with practice, your stories will only get more immersive. Character development will fix the out of place context related to the children etcetera.

thank you.

You could benefit from a volunteer Beta Reader/Editor

And they start banging as she screams, "Fuck me, fuck me!"

And you hear the kids in the background screaming, "Mommy? Mommy? Are you dying? What's happening, Daddy?"

"Everything's alright, go back to bed, little Elle."

"Is Mommy OK? It sounded like she got hurt, Daddy."

"Mommy is fine. She just made a big noise, little Bobby. Go back to bed, children."

"I want my mommy."

Now, put that right in the middle of your story and you'll have it about right. This is a very thoughtless story. If you're going to have loud fucking, have locks on the bedroom door or have the kids spend the night at grandma's. Especially if the screamer is Mom.

So how do these characters explain the noises to their kids? Im sure they would really like to know.

Not nearly as bad as your other LW story, but no better than a * for another cuck and whorewife story.

Question to 26th, how in anyone's world is a threesome a cuck and whorewife story???

@Ic69hunter, don’t bother trying to talk sense to 26thNC. He’s just an asshole who posts his shitty comments on all of these stories that don’t involve a cheating wife getting killed.