Laura - Falling Angel Pt. 02

Laura had started to question her faith. More accurately, she felt she was now in a position to contemplate her faith. She wasn't an intellectual; nevertheless, there was logic to her contemplation. Ian, her ex-brother in law, liked to state that all organised religion was bollocks. Had the smug certainty of church membership, being part of a club, been the cornerstone of her faith so far? After all, the primary purpose of a club was to exclude. Her recent sins, relatively benign though they were, prompted the thought that if God loved sinners, wasn't she now in a better place to understand her faith? If she wasn't an intellectual, neither was she a zealot or a fundamentalist. She couldn't believe in an omnipresent God, one who would watch her and judge her because she smoked a couple of cigarettes, or bought some pretty lingerie.

She preferred to think of her sins as being 'naughty', having a little fun without really doing any harm. She did feel a little shame the first time she had masturbated with one of her ex-husband's specialist magazines. It wasn't really the content of the magazine; it wasn't even the sheer wanton luxury of wearing heels and lipstick, and smoking while she touched herself, which she was happy to admit to herself felt sleazy and delicious. Her crime, as she saw it, was to abandon herself to fantasy about her friend's teenage daughter.

The magazine was called 'Gloryhole', and Laura had been completely ignorant as to what a gloryhole was. She had been struck by the girl on the cover and her resemblance to her friend Mary's daughter, Millie. As she opened the magazine she became instantly aware of how sheltered her upbringing had been, and nature of the phenomenon being reproduced inside - the eponymous hole was where a man could insert his erection anonymously, for a woman to perform oral sex on him, equally anonymously (but for the full makeup and professional photography, she noted wryly). Laura understood at once how visually stunning this was. She had caught glimpses of adult magazines at university, but had never had the opportunity to really look, to really comprehend the undeniable beauty of porn. Slowly turning the pages towards the centre, she found a several-page spread featuring the cover girl, and abandoned control of herself to lust. The wine made her head spin, she watched the girl suck, being ejaculated on time after time, never taking her eyes off Laura's. The last couple of pictures showed her leaving the cubicle and the club, semen around her mouth and a radiant smile on her face. Laura pulled off her knickers and pleasured herself completely, more vigorously than she had done for 20 years. The guilt came from hearing herself say 'oh Millie... fucking gorgeous... suck those fucking cocks, Millie...', and knowing that at that moment she had wanted that porn actress to actually be little Millie.

She was learning to deal with the guilt. She hadn't previously masturbated for several months, and never in lipstick and a lace bra while looking at dirty pictures. But far from getting it out of her system it had left her aching for more. She had loved her night out with the office; she felt sensational in her dress, and had even felt confident enough between bars to ask one of the young girls, Natalie, if she could pinch a cigarette. Natalie expressed some surprise; Laura admitted that she didn't smoke, quickly adding 'very much'. She watched the pretty blonde as they walked - habitual smokers take an initial one or two deep drags, she observed, then are content to leave a fairly long pause of a minute or so before taking another. Lots of little puffs would have been a dead giveaway of her novice status - she tried to replicate Natalie's natural rhythm, being careful not to inhale too deeply and embarrass herself by coughing!

They had fun in several bars. She danced, chatted, drank wine. She felt desirable, knew her cleavage and her lips were turning heads, and enjoyed it. She turned down the offer of cigarettes several times, on the premise that she hadn't brought hers and couldn't return the favour; she also accepted one or two, and got a lovely little thrill when she actually got to say 'I smoke Silk Cut'. Standing outside a bar in her beautiful dress with the other glamorous ladies from the office, pouting, chatting and smoking in the most leisurely way, was wonderful. She had loved hearing Natalie use the word 'fuck' several times; her use of expletives stirred her emotions more than any Sunday morning sermon.

Late on she had danced with a young guy, probably early 20s, and kissed with him while she waited for her taxi. She refused to give him her number but accepted his. He asked if she'd ring, she said she might do. She felt his erection against her, she told him he should go home and do something about that. He groaned. "Naughty... what do you mean?"

Laura replied, slowly and deliberately "I mean go home and wank yourself off, while you think about my bare boobs." As she got in the taxi he asked again if she would ring. Might do, she replied. She enjoyed so much being capricious and teasing him. She had woken up slightly second hand, the taste of the cigarettes less appealing than the night before. She hadn't been completely drunk though; not enough to forget what she'd said to the boy. She groaned - she'd never even thought anything like that, let alone said it to a guy 15 years younger than herself.

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She did wonder, in an abstract way, where all this was leading. She still helped out with the church group's charity work, and went to church on Sundays. One of the ladies commented on how cheerful she seemed to be; she replied that she was happy and enjoying her life.

Her eyes had been opened to certain possibilities now she was single again and free from the guilt and foreboding she had grown up with. She had tentatively enjoyed a little naughty fun and the world had carried on as before. Her laptop had revealed a whole universe that had so far passed her by, but she was catching up. She learned that there was far more to the gloryhole topic than porn for male titillation - as she widened her searches to include specialist web forums and amateur clips, she realised this was also very much a fetish for women. She read forum threads and commented under the name LornaLovitt, expressing an as-yet unconsummated interest; soon, she was invited to a private messenger group exclusively for UK women. They shared stories, anecdotes and information. It was mind blowing. She chatted with TrueTina69 who told her that she had visited the gloryhole in a local club over a hundred times in the past 18 months, since learning where it was. Her anecdotes were amazing, telling of several occasions sucking more than ten guys, one after another. Word soon gets around, she said.

Laura regularly masturbated while watching her favourite clips. She was embarking on a path, and not the path previously laid out for her. She was conditioning, almost hypnotising herself - her favourite clip of all was a compilation of an attractive young woman, not a porn professional by any means, 17 minutes long, sucking one cock after another. The sheer variety of male members offered to her was an education in itself, but she never refused. Some she took all the way down her throat, others were simply too big to take any more than the head but she pleasured them all to completion. What made the clip particularly appealing to her was the ecstasy on the woman's face, and the captions; her nipples would tingle as she read statements like 'be the girl you really want to be', 'stranger's cocks taste the best' and 'be yourself, nobody will ever know'. It was literally habit-forming, because as Laura approached orgasm, she would light a cigarette, and she was inhaling deeper with each cigarette she smoked as the illicit pleasure of the images before her, and the cool, creamy smoke in her lungs combined in a crushing climax every time.

In the GHSecrets message group she told about the boy, how she was thinking about inviting him over, and admitted she had never performed oral sex. She received lots of encouragement - the consensus was that she'd never look back - but a seed was planted by another member, JuliaGHfun. "Have your first ever sucking experience at a GH. You won't regret it. Sooo hot!!" She got even more encouragement for this; none of the women on the group knew anyone who could claim that accolade.

She was always struck by the number of amateur pictures and videos of women at gloryholes, and the pleasure on their faces. Clearly, women loved doing this. Could it be considered deferred gratification? If the woman doesn't get direct simulation, she surmised, then she is building her excitement by doing something illicit with strangers. She noted the women did occasionally impale themselves on the guys' cocks, though. She assumed a lot of them were respectable women who revelled in the filthy surroundings and their own sordid behaviour. Respectable women like herself. How did she fall so quickly from her quiet, reserved and upstanding persona to her current preoccupations? All she knew was she had no intention of trying to put the genie back in the bottle.

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She'd smoked the last of the cigarettes so she called in at the corner shop on the way to work, obviously nervous as she had never been involved in this kind of transaction. She'd rehearsed what she would say, to avoid looking like she didn't know what she was doing. "Can I have a pack of the Silk Cut purple 100s, please?" It was an easy process, but a rather expensive one, which seemed oddly stimulating to Laura. Lately, she had given up trying to second guess how she would react to details like that.

She'd never taken cigarettes out of the house, but it was a warm, bright day so as she saw Natalie head outside at break time, she surreptitiously unwrapped her pack inside her bag, removing the cellophane and foil, and followed her out. As the smoking area was visible from Laura's desk, she had been watching Natalie most days, and had mimicked her style at home, in front of the mirror. Consequently her cigarette was already hanging from her lips as she exited through the glass doors, and she lit up in a fluid movement. As they chatted, her arms were folded with her cigarette held horizontally just inches from her mouth. She would take the occasional slow, luxurious drags appropriate for a stylish, confident woman; her fingers spread apart, her eyes narrowing, finished off by a voluminous, creamy exhale. She absolutely loved smoking; she was determined not to become addicted and could see how a habitual smoke break with Natalie every day might not be the best idea - she enjoyed every cigarette being a little adventure and a treat, especially in public because she was naturally reserved, and felt smoking drew attention to her.

As she returned to her desk, she learned that her knickers were absolutely soaked. She giggled to herself and blushed; she was usually playing with herself when she smoked, and as she had been chatting with Natalie a few minutes earlier, watching her toss her blonde fringe from her eyes, Laura had of course been imagining her on her knees in a filthy toilet, sucking a black cock through a hole in the wall. She had assumed that explained her lubricated state.

She did think about Peter from time to time. She had obviously rushed into the divorce when her fragile moral code and narrow experiences were challenged. She felt she had opened up to new possibilities; would she have tolerated the affair if she'd been more open minded? Indeed, would he have had an affair at all? She wasn't sure she wanted to go back to how life was before - he had done her a huge favour, although she did miss him. She resolved to give him a ring.

Laura had been thinking for a while about tattoos. She didn't want a meaningless sanskrit symbol or a tiny hidden butterfly - she loved to see women with whole arms inked. She also loved piercings, loved the whole alt chic look. She'd only ever had sex with one man, and had a strict upbringing, but by now felt able to celebrate her body, which was clearly not built for monogamy or denial, and her love of eroticism. One Saturday, she visited a tattoo studio and asked for both her thighs to be tattooed with lace bands and bows to replicate stocking tops. She'd seen several porn girls and models with these, and thought them the prettiest things ever. She had great legs and imagined wearing tiny denim shorts to really show them off. She was told that it would take four visits, one for each bow and one for each band. The artist, an extremely hot woman about her own age, asked her to remove her trousers and lie face down on a couch. Laura was wearing a thong so the artist, who introduced herself as Cherie, said she would fetch a towel for her modesty. Cherie did seem to take a long time to unfold and place the towel across Laura's buttocks - she suspected the artist was gauging how she would respond to being exposed that way. Laura almost audibly purred at the vulnerability she felt, subtly opening her knees apart slightly, and hoped Cherie would be able to smell her arousal.

She felt Cherie's hand on her upper thigh and flinched slightly. She told Laura to relax.

"I'm a little tense... I think I could do with a massage."

"I'd like to give you a massage," she replied.

They chatted as the tattoo artist worked on her left thigh. Laura told her life story, somewhat limited as it was, concluding with the fact she was finally rebelling against her parents, with cigarettes, pornography and now tattoos. Cherie asked her what was her favourite kind of porn, she responded instantly with 'gloryholes'. She realised that was the first time she had said the word out loud. She followed it up with "I quite like gloryhole videos... It's so sleazy. I mean, I would never... Oh my god, I'm blushing so much right now. It's a good job I'm face down!" The artist leaned in and whispered in her ear, "that's so hot. And I quite like you face down..."

Like so many things, Laura had never experienced lesbian flirting. It seemed these days that every situation had the potential to make her tingle and fantasise. She started to relax and enjoy herself. After a few minutes of the work on her leg, and the burning sensation, she broke the silence. "So... What I was talking about a minute ago... Have you ever, you know...?"

Cherie left off for a minute. "Oh no, baby. I like girls, but I do really like those videos. I like to look at girls sucking cocks, too..."

Laura purred; she wanted the artist to know she was aroused. "What if I told you I'd never had a... cock in my mouth?"

Cherie put her hands on both Laura's thighs. "Then it makes what you said earlier even hotter." She picked up her phone and took a picture of her work, showing the client. "All done; don't worry, that redness will fade in a couple of days."

Laura didn't want to leave but Cherie told her that she didn't want her to have two sore legs, and that she'd see her next Saturday. "Keep it dry for a couple of days then you can wash it in cool water. Always keep it clean," she winked, "unlike your thoughts!"

Laura stood up, carefully, and they had a good look at each other, smiling.