All Comments on 'Laura's Honeymoon'

The mistakes were distracting. Also, Laura had a quick change in attitude toward sex. I'm only giving it 3 stars. It isn't horrible, but it needs a bit of work.

The story is lost in a hash of mistakes.

This isn't the typical story line, but sometimes a slightly different path can be enjoyable. That being said I encourage you to get one of the volunteer editors to assist you in checking for spelling and grammar errors. These types of mistakes can take away from what could have been a pretty good story. As one commenter stated, her attitude changed completely without any explanation as to why. That change NEEDS to be in the story or the flow isn't there. Try again....

The number of glaring errors here would be distracting in even a twenty-page story. To have this many errors crammed in to a single-page story is simply ridiculous.

I managed to make it all the way to the end, but then regretted having done so. You said that this was more about the buildup than about the act, but it had NEITHER, as far as I could tell.

-Rei

You need spelling and grammar check.

Also, this is not "Fifty Shades Of Grey" - she is not going to suddenly become a sex goddess in such a short time period.

the author has no idea on how to fuck a woman for

his first time. most likely he was reading a comic book

about sex. this is the worst FIRST TIME I've ever read

on Literotica.

You really need to spell it will improve your writing 100%, liked the story but it was spoilt by using the wrong word and miss spelling.

No one wants to hurt a woman that way! Only a poor selfish lover does that.

Kick the bast*** to the curb!

Spellcheck is your friend.