Lauren's Lesson Ch. 24

Tuesday morning found Lauren and myself at the airport, accompanied by Kathy and Angie to see us off. The baby was in good hands with a nanny that Kitty had found for us, and who had agreed to be there full time as a live-in aupair, once we moved into the new house. Rider was also joining us for this leg of our adventure, to catch all the juicy details on camera. She had been off over the weekend, when Lauren and I met Kathy and Angie, and discovered the house. Thank goodness too! The entire cookout had turned into what would have been an embarrassing debacle for everyone involved.

Lauren and I both kissed our new lady friends goodbye and headed directly for the preferred fliers line, since neither of us were wearing any clothes. Rider seemed a little hesitant to join us at first, but soon realized that if she was going to be a serious part of this production, she was going to have to join us when we embarked on clothes-free only routes. She took a deep breath and shed her clothes, stuffing them into her carry-on bag and following us to the screener.

"Reservation for three," I said cheerily to the cute brunette with the badge, "under the name, Nudie."

She smiled, and nodded at us in recognition.

"Hi Jack and Bo!" she greeted us enthusiastically. "So great to have you flying out of our terminal today. I saw all the stories in the papers. You two are really famous now. Where are you headed?"

"L.A." I replied. "We have a shoot with the Chin tomorrow, then it's off to Chicago to be on Orca on Thursday, and then to New York for Dave the Letter Guy. This is our cinematographer, Rider. She's documenting the whole thing for our show. This is her first time flying nude, so she's a little bit shy."

"Oh, no need to be." the woman said reassuringly, looking Rider up and down and smiling approvingly. "You have a great body! It's to be appreciated and flaunted; not covered in shame. Here, let me have the camera, so I can film you walking through the checkpoint carefree and clothes-free, along with your companions."

Rider looked a little green for a moment, but finally nodded in agreement and handed the camera over to the screener, who got a very nice shot of her walking totally nude through the checkpoint. This footage was definitely going on the show! It was time that our fans got a good look at who was behind the camera as well as who starred out front. The screener handed the camcorder back to Rider and grinned.

"That wasn't so hard now, was it?" she inquired, as we filed past to get our "NUDIST" stamps for the flight at the next station.

I arrived first, and displayed my bracelet to the TSA guy.

"My wife and I are registered nudists." I explained. "We're exempt from being stamped now. Our camera gal isn't though. This is her first time being nude in public too, so stamp that thing right on her pubes. Let her show it off to the world."

Rider looked absolutely mortified at my suggestion, as she approached the agent. He smiled and pressed his rubber stamp into the red ink, coating it thoroughly. She was notably agitated by all of this, and looked at me imploringly. I winked at the agent, and he wielded the stamp menacingly.

Rider gritted her teeth and prepared herself for a demeaning stamp on her cunt. To her surprise, however, the man reached over and simply stamped the back of her forearm instead.

"Enjoy your flight." he said with a grin.

That was it. It was over and done with. Rider looked at me, and I simply shrugged.

"That wasn't funny!" she whispered, as we headed down the concourse toward our gate. "I really thought he was going to stamp my cunt."

"It depends on who you get." I explained. "Some are really nasty. One of them stamped Lauren square on the center of her pregnant belly on our honeymoon. It was totally uncalled for. Yeah, I winked at this guy and we had some fun at your expense, but trust me, it could have been really demeaning had he been a prick. Fortunately for you, the airport's chief of police and I are well acquainted, so everyone here is polite to us. Every other airport though, expect them to fuck with you. They get off on it."

We stopped into one of the eateries to get some food before we departed, and were well aware of the stares, as we stood in line to get our food. Lauren was oblivious; I was still learning, and poor Rider was absolutely mortified. Click after click from cellphones and cameras could be heard, along with a comment from a curious child.

"Look Aunt Giselle." he said, pointing at us. "Those people aren't wearing any clothes. And that other naked lady is filming them."

"No they aren't!" she fumed, giving us dirty looks. "They're just filthy people! I know who they are; don't you pay them any attention, Daniel!"

Lauren and I shrugged at one another, as Rider tried hiding behind us, while she continued filming for the show. The indignant woman dragged her nephew away, as we sat down to eat. I couldn't help but smile to myself, as they sat down to wait at the very gate we were headed for once we finished eating ourselves.

We were of course flying first class, thanks once again to Ms. Corrie Snelling; that busty heiress who had taken such a liking to us and our show idea. We would meet up with both her and Kitty, once we landed in L.A. We boarded first, and settled in as the other passengers filed on board; many ogling us in astonishment. This was getting to be common for both Lauren and myself, but Rider was aghast at the leers she was getting.

I leaned over and whispered in her ear.

"Cross your legs and look professional." I suggested. "Remember, this is first class. You have an image to uphold for the airlines."

Passengers continued streaming past us, and then a high-pitched and familiar-sounding young voice called out.

"Hey Aunt Giselle, it's the naked people again!"

"You people are disgusting!" she huffed, as she passed us. "Nothing but filth! You should all be ashamed of yourselves, parading around like that in public. Who do think you are, Adam and Eve, and the Whore of Babylon?"

"And you have a wonderful day as well!" I called out cheerily.

I shrugged my shoulders as she passed us.

"Jesus, what a bitch." I muttered.

"I wonder which one of us is the Whore of Babylon?" Lauren mused.

"Probably you." I replied. "Rider is the one embarrassed by all of this. I'll bet she's wishing she had a fig leaf in her lap right like Eve, right about now."

I reached out to take the SkyMall catalog from the back of the seat in front of me and thumbed through it, as we taxied toward the runway. My attention was caught by a very expensive-looking diver's watch, but I quickly folded the catalog in half and stashed it, as we lined up on the runway. Soon enough, we were all pressed into our seats as we accelerated down the tarmac, lifting off the ground and into the hazy blue sky.

I pulled the catalog back out and continued looking through it, but my attention kept going back to the watch. Turns out it wasn't just expensive-looking, it was genuinely expensive! I would probably never spring for it, so I just put the catalog back; out of sight, out of mind. As far as I knew, that was the end of it, but a very clever Rider had zoomed in with her camera while I was focused on it. While I went to the restroom, Rider gave her copy to Lauren to put into the seat pocket, who then took the one I was looking at and put it in her purse. When I returned, I had no idea the switch had been made, as I wasn't planning on buying the watch anyway. I never knew what happened, and the whole thing was gone from my mind.

We landed five hours later at LAX and disembarked the plane. Both Kitty and Corrie Snelling were waiting for us at the gate. I was a little surprised at first, but then again with her gazillions of dollars, it probably didn't take but a single phone call to skirt the TSA rules and gain access to the concourse.

"Hello-o!" Kitty called out. "It's my two favorite talents!"

We reached the duo, and Kitty beamed.

"I just love your matching outfits!" she exclaimed. "Rider, what made you decide to go with theirs?"

"They convinced me it would be faster through the checkpoint if I took my clothes off." she explained. "I was mortified at first, but there's a certain je ne sais quoi about the whole thing that's growing on me. I rather like the feeling of freedom it gives me. Maybe I'll apply for one of those nudist permits myself."

"Well, you look absolutely adorable in nothing but Keds!" Kitty said with a flirtatious smile. "It suits you."

"Thank you." Rider managed to mumble. "I think."

"Don't forget that California is a clothes-free state." Kitty continued. "As long as there is no local ordinance against it, public nudity is legal here. You won't need a special license to walk around nude while you're visiting if you want to try it out."

"Let's get your luggage." Corrie suggested, changing the topic. "I'll notify the driver to pick us up out front."

"Sounds good to me." I agreed, as I put my arm around my beautiful wife and escorted her along the concourse.

Once again, stares were aimed in our direction, along with the cell phones and cameras. We arrived at the baggage carousel and waited for our luggage to arrive. In the meantime, other passengers from the flight began catching up. A few recognized us and asked for selfies; mostly with Lauren, but some with both of us as well. One attractive redhead, who identified herself only as Gretchen, asked for one with me only, and I was more than happy to oblige her request.

"I'll be cumming to this tonight." she whispered. "Thank you."

As we were waiting for our luggage to arrive, once again came that annoying kid's voice:

"Hey Aunt Giselle, it's the naked people again."

"Oh for fuck's sake!" I muttered, as I turned to see the bitch and her nephew approaching us.

Giselle glared at us again, as she and the kid stood as far away from us as they could. As the luggage started sliding down the ramp, however, people crowded in; forcing us closer together. We started picking our bags from the revolving carousel, and I leaned in to grab Lauren's large, heavy bag. I apparently got too close to Giselle's liking, because she started snarling at me.

"Get away from me, you perv!" she demanded. "You disgust me, you hedonist philanderer!"

At that point, I was getting a little annoyed with her elitist attitude, and the smell of alcohol was present on her breath, which explained a lot.

"Fuck off!" I retorted, as I picked the heavy bag up.

"Don't you address me like that!" she hollered. "I'm your mayor, and I know exactly who you are. Standing there on my courthouse steps, expelling bodily fluids in front of the public. You belong in prison, you sick exhibitionist."

"We moved," I replied coolly, as I opened the wheels on Lauren's luggage, "so you're not my mayor anymore, you sot."

"I don't care!" she snapped. "I'm still going to have you charged when you get back. You were nude and lewd in my city, and I will not tolerate that kind of behavior, do you understand me? I don't care what that judge said, if I ever see you in my city without any clothes on again, I will have you arrested, do you hear me?!"

"Look, Bitch," I said in a very annoyed tone of voice, "it was a ruling by a federal judge. You have no say-so whatsoever, and if you make any attempt to subvert that ruling, you're going to find your sorry, alcoholic ass in the middle of a major lawsuit.

"You are the biggest bitch I have ever had the misfortune of running into, so here's a nickel's worth of free advice: Drop the kid off, go to a novelty shop, and buy yourself a nice vibrating boyfriend. Maybe that will help you with your outlook on life. Now, goodbye. Unlike yourself, we actually have important things to do."

"Why- I never!" she spluttered.

I turned back over my shoulder and nodded.

"I agree. Maybe if you had, that kid would be your son instead."

Several people erupted into laughter, and she turned beet red.

"Just you wait until you get back in MY town!" she fumed. "I'll have you dealt with! I'll have you arrested and thrown in jail, do you hear me?"

"Well now, that's sounds an awful lot like a threat to me." I said seriously. "You really need to sober up. Rider, did you get that on cam in case she actually tries it?"

"Right here." she replied, looking at the woman. "Smile, Aunt Gazelle! You're on TV."

"That's GIS-elle!" the woman snapped. "Stupid cunt."

Giselle then muttered something incoherent, and grabbed a suitcase from the carousel. We headed out the door, where a rather long limousine was waiting for us in a "no parking" area. An airport police officer was standing next to it, and smiled as we approached.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Snelling." he said with a friendly nod.

He nodded at us as well.

"Good afternoon, and welcome to sunny L.A."

"Thank you." I responded with a smile of my own.

We all climbed into the rear of the limo, as the driver exited the front and opened the door for us. Corrie motioned for Lauren and myself to face forward, while she, Kitty and Rider faced toward the rear for aesthetic purposes in the shots. Rider immediately resumed filming as we began to move.

"You two are so fucking hot right now!" Kitty exclaimed. "Especially Lauren! 'Bo Dangles' was trending all day yesterday and so far today, and you're trending now too, Jack! The world loves your whole reality porn angle."

I snickered, and started to parody a well-known song.

"Hey now, so you're a porn star. Got no clothes on. Got your dick sucked. Hey now, you got a hard-on. Lauren likes it. Gonna swallow..."

This was met with several giggle snorts. Even Corrie seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere. It was rare for her to be out of the public eye, and to able to simply be herself was uplifting for her.

"Hey, it's time for the radio station to give away those four free tickets to see Lady Gogo tonight." Kitty suddenly exclaimed. "I'd love to win them. Would you mind turning on the radio again, Ms. Snelling?"

"Sure." Corrie replied. "It's still there from earlier in the day."

Music was playing, as we listened for the okay to call the station.

"I love Lady Gogo." Kitty confessed.

"Me too!" Lauren agreed. "Let's all of us call in at the same time and see if we can get through."

"I'm in." I agreed.

"Same here." Rider said enthusiastically.

"I'll call too," Corrie added, "but I don't care for her. So if I get through, you four can go."

"Hey, that's nice of you." I said with a smile. "Thanks."

The song ended and the DJ came on the air.

"Okay, now to give away four tickets to see Lady Gogo." he said. "Caller number 17 wins. Good luck!"

We all began dialing, getting busy signals and redialing again.

"It's ringing!" Rider said excitedly.

"Mine too!" Lauren responded.

"Hello!" Rider exclaimed. "Oh okay, thank you."

She folded the phone dejectedly, but Lauren seemed really jacked.

"I am? Flyin' A!" she burst out. "Hey everybody, I won! My name? This is Bo Dangles. No, I promise you it's me. Jack and I are in town for a talk show slot tomorrow. I don't know. Let me ask my husband."

She turned to me.

"Wanna do a studio interview?" she inquired. "They said they'd love to have us on the air when we drop by to pick the tickets up. I guess there's an afternoon show going on."

"Sure," I said with a shrug, "why not? It'll give us some practice for the TV shows."

"We'd love to!" she bubbled. See you shortly."

Corrie instructed the driver to head for the radio studio, and we arrived about thirty minutes later. Along the way, the announcement was made that we had won the tickets and would be in the studio on air for an impromptu appearance.

"We'll wait for you here and listen in." Kitty said as we exited the limo. "Good luck!"

I escorted Lauren to the entrance, where we were immediately met by a security officer.

"We're here to pick up our tickets to see Lady Gogo." I informed him.

"Not dressed like that, you're not." he responded.

"I'm Jack Action. This is my wife, Bo Dangles." I replied coolly. "We're exempt from wearing clothes. In fact, it's illegal for her to do so, so you can't discriminate against her for it. Check with management. They're aware that we're here. We're scheduled to be on the air with Wally and Wilbur very shortly. I'd hate to tell them that you're the reason we were late."

He frowned, but spoke into his radio. He nodded and waved us in.

"Sorry." he apologized. "My mistake. I recognize you from the news now. I didn't know your names though."

We followed him back to the studio, where the two hosts were seated at a large table with headsets on. One of them saw us and motioned for us to enter.

"Back after these messages." he said into the mic. "When we return, Jack and Bo will be here in the studio with us in the flesh; no pun intended. Don't go anywhere!"

He set his headphones down, as did the other guy, and they both came over to us and shook our hands.

"I'm Wally and this is Wilbur!" he said enthusiastically. "Great to have you."

"Thanks!" Lauren responded with a grin. "This is our first interview."

"Awesome." he replied. "Grab a seat and put on a headset. We'll do a sound check on the distance you want to be from the mics, and we'll adjust the mixing board for the amount of boost. We'll be on in about three minutes."

We got squared away, and we could hear a countdown in our sets.

"Okay, we're back!" Wally exclaimed. "And we have here in all of their glory, Jack Action and Bo Dangles! Welcome to the show, Guys."

"Thanks!" I said cheerily. "It's a pleasure to be here."

"Not as big of a pleasure as it is for us." Wilbur chimed in, staring intently at Lauren's saggy little tits. "Wow."

Lauren giggled.

"I'll take that as a compliment." she responded.

"So what brings you here in town?" Wilbur continued.

"Well, we're on the Chin tomorrow." Lauren explained. "Now that we won those tickets to see Lady Gogo, I guess we'll be doing that tonight too."

"She's looking forward to you two being there too." Wally added. "We let her know you were the winners. She'll be watching the audience for you, that's for sure!"

"Maybe we'll get to meet her then." I said. "Lauren's the big fan of hers, not me, but I do like the way she takes her clothes off onstage and performs nude sometimes."

"I can't imagine why!" Lauren laughed. "Actually, I do too. She was an inspiration for me when I first shed my clothes pubic- I mean, publicly."

We continued for another five minutes or so, and then they went to another break. That was the end of our session and we headed back to the limo, but not before a ton of pictures were taken along the way. Kitty, Rider and Corrie were waiting for us, and greeted us enthusiastically as we reentered the limo.

"That sounded great!" Kitty complimented us. "Nice job for your first show. Keep it cool like that and you'll do just fine. I think I can get you some small parts in film too, if you want."

"Sounds good to me." I agreed. "I'd like some IMDb credits other than 'Self' or 'Archive footage.' Listen, I don't mean to be blunt, but it was a long flight and then being in that studio has kind of gotten me a little turned on."

"Me too!" Lauren exclaimed. "I really need to cum. I slipped into the ladies Room a few times on the plane, but I could use another one. Poor Jack hasn't had his penis sucked all day, either. Would you mind if we had some orgasms in front of you?"

"Not if you don't mind us doing it too." Corrie responded quietly. "I've been wanting to watch my stars in person for quite some time now."

With that, she began unbuttoning her blouse, as Rider began filming. Kitty started taking her clothes off as well, and soon the five of us were all engaged in sex acts with each other, or in Corrie's case, a solo mission.