All Comments on 'Law of the Heart Ch. 07-08'

Pretty good for a forgiveness ending except for a couple of things.

I didnt like that she gave him an ultimatum about seeing Sally & going back to florida with her & that he didnt get mad about it. This was early in their reconciliation & he hadnt even been talking to her up till then but he doesnt get angry or defensive at all. I also didnt like the viagra for a variety of reasons (fits with the theme of this ending about a scared guy trying his damndest to hold on to the wife though).

Personally I would have liked if you made the wife a bit more sympathetic if they chose to stay together but thats just personal preference & probably not true to life anyway (after all if she was a nice person, she wouldnt have fucked the brothers at her runion).

That she was going to continue seeing them before she was caught & that she admitted to staying with her husband only because he was a nice guy that offered stability & took care of her, made it tough for me to like seeing them get back together. I know it may be what happens IRL but who wants to read about realistic wimpy guys and the women who use them? At least if she hadnt been so blatant & honest about her reasons for staying with him, the husband could have lied to himself.

It was an ok & probably realistic ending though. Even if its not what I like in ficiton usually - I usually like happy ever after (either with someone else or reaffirming their love for each other) more than seeing shitty relationships with unlikable people limping along. I think there is enough realism irl but thats just my personal preference when it comes to ficiton. Im not trying to say how you should end your stories.

She showed no sorrow for cheating and would have done so again if not been caught. Story started well and then as a writter you got stupid by saying he can save the marriage with viagra and a work out. Send the bitch to juan and when he tires of her in a couple weeks he can put her to work on the streets of miami. Waiting for the real ending so hurry

Jake got his hair styled at a SALOON after LOOSING 15 pounds?

Some people might get their hair done at a SALON after LOSING 15 pounds.

a very weak read,not on par with first chapters.

All of the chapters were pretty well written. She really feels sorry for herself when she is caught cheating on Jake, but she said to Sally that Juan was AMAZING. A cheater only feels sorry when she/he are caught. I liked it the way Jake quoated the law book about marriage and divorce. I have a feeling that their marriage is doomed. Once a cheater, always a cheater and since she runs in the crowd with Sally, it is inevitable that she will cheat again. Now that she has a full time job, she can always fake sickness and take a day off or leave early and see Juan or someonelse. She has lost the trust of her husband and has thrown her marriage vows out the window. It will be a long time before Jake can trust her again, if ever. In the meantime, Jake should gather every asset he can and put it in a safe place because if a divorce happens, and it will, she will try to take him to the cleaners with Juan's help.

I hope the next alternative ending will be one where he sends her back to Miami with a suitcase and takes control of his and Little Jakes lives.

"three weeks since out meeting" "Sally is going to try and get me to go back to Florida with her. I need for you to forgive me, Jake."

3 weeks since he found out she is a cheating slut, and she is blackmailing HIM to forgive her? in only 4 WEEKS? give the man spagetti sauce, because he has a noodle for a backbone.

she shows no real remorse for injury she gave only regret she was discovered, she has not offered any restitution for the injury caused nor any bond against it happening again, in fact she is blackmailing him that it WILL if he doesn't 'forgive' her on HER schedule - cuckold is the right name for him, because she is going to do it again.

i hope your other entries are better than this, this is NOT a happy reconcilliation ending, just a setup for future betrayal & pain.

This is a very disappointing ending to those who identified with Jake. It was obvious to him that he was used, abused and taken advantage of big time. His best was to try to compete with the Mendozas physically. This is not how it works in life. Did he consider buying a boat and moving to Florida or somewhere?

In my opinion, the people who accept pain and do not stand for themselves deserve what happens to them. The good think is that he probably got better at accepting betrayal. Next time it is going to be a lot easier, and he does not need to ask any questions. Just enjoy the pain and keep going!

This one was not worth the wait. Let's hope the other endings have more pinache. This one sucked big time. Plus a cool 7 grand down the tube for replacement rings, one set for each of the Mendozas. HHT come back. This must have been a ghost writer. Not your normal calibre.'nuff said.

I love the way he questioned to get her to admit what had happened. I like the way he got her to answer the question of one of the Mendoza's coming to Boston to see her. His wife Jill, asking for forgiving her before Sally come was very interesting. But the husband being a lawyer didn't go for the jugular, but comprised with his wife. they were both lawyers and they both knew what they were getting out of the deal. His working parttime, losing weight and bulking gave him the energy to fuck at ease and often, with the help of viagra. This story was a great read.

I love the way he questioned to get her to admit what had happened. I like the way he got her to answer the question of one of the Mendoza's coming to Boston to see her. His wife Jill, asking for forgiving her before Sally come was very interesting. But the husband being a lawyer didn't go for the jugular, but comprised with his wife. they were both lawyers and they both knew what they were getting out of the deal. His working parttime, losing weight and bulking gave him the energy to fuck at ease and often, with the help of viagra. This story was a great read.

This is the most fucked up ending to a shitty story. Don't write anything if you can't do better than this. In fact, you should consider not writing at all. I know that the sick motherfuckers love your shitty stories and will love this piece of shit ending.

I enjoy reconsiliations as much as a good revenge on a deserving spouse (male or female). I do not see any regret in Jill at all. By her silence she admitted that she planned to meet Juan again. She adamately defends her 'best' friend and then gives him an ultimatum, while sitting at the the dinner table with her loving husband and her child that she is devoted to. She still has no idea of what she has done. I can understand him working to save himself and his family, but, he has allowed everything to set himself up again for failure. Everything that happened is ultimately Jills responsibility, but, the guiding influences (Susan and the Mendoza's) are allowed to stay in their lives? Can you imagine how wonderful Jake will feel listening to the conversations between Susan and Jill in his own home? Even if he refuses to ever speak to Susan again, or what the topic of their conversation is, every smile or chuckle will tear his heart and mind apart.

When she gave her ultimatum, he should have smiled and told her she has her own choice to make. The law would be on his side. He would not even need to catch her again. He may of forgave her once but her leaving to go back to the threesome would constitute continuence of the affair and even amount to abandonment. It does not matter how Jake builds himself up or what pills he takes, Jill has not and will not ever choose him or her family over herself and her wants (friends).

I appreciate your efforts, but am looking forward to the other endings

Gus

This was not the ending I was expecting. I have been waiting for awhile. I think you should go back and look at the whole story and make it work out with the end, if you like the end.

those are not alternate endings but the second ending is part 2 of the first.

DOn't be too disappointed by the response. Just keep working at it.

She wasn’t going to admit her affair until she was forced to. She did sexual acts with the Mendozas that she refused to do for Jake. She “loved every minute” of her affair. She publicly embarrasses him with her actions in front of classmates and friends. She blackmails Jake with her son to force him to come home. She didn’t tell Juan no when he called her to meet with him in Boston, which means she was going to. She stays best friends with the woman who encouraged her to be unfaithful. She threatens him with going back to Florida with Sally if he does not forgive her.

So Jake’s response to all this is to become a sexual athlete to outperform the Mendozas? Great plan, Jake! What if it didn’t work?

The conclusion seems shallow and contrived after the previous chapters. Jill never seems remorseful about her cheating – only about being caught. Remember, it had been ‘ 6 whole months’ since she had been off on a trip by her own. What a hardship! And it was such a ‘sexy’ place – no wonder she couldn’t control herself. Now it’s been *three weeks* of sexual denial. Oh yes, poor girl. Certainly she is justified in threatening him with continuing her affair if he does not immediately forgive her.

I can understand Jake wanting to forgive her and remain a family. But not at this point in the story. She hasn’t earned it. What he’s done is just given her permission to do it again. If she thought so little of Jake and Jake Jr that she would have returned to Florida to be with her lover he should have let her go.

You realy should do some reading on the way Viagra works before you use it in a story.

Enough said.

The ending presented here fits with the story the author has written. Throughtout the whole story the wife acts in a selfish manner, getting what she wants out of her marriage and her Florida fling. She shows no remorse for what she has done, only for being caught. This point has been brought out in many of the other comments listed here as well as the point that she had planned to see Juan again until Jake confronted her with what he knew.

As for the husband, if her really loved his wife and wanted to save his marriage he could have stopped his wife before she went to bed with the Mendoza brothers.He had plenty of chances starting with the moment she got off Juan's boat. He could have let her know he was there and then they would only have had to deal with her topless behavior on the boat.

As for alternate endings I would have to say , don't bother. This story went the only way it cold have. As I said in a comment about an earlier chapter the wife is stupid and the husband is brain dead. To write an ending where this husband suddenly wakes up and takes control won't work. It won't be believable. To try and change the wife's character to make her more sympathetic or to try and make her actions less reprehensible also would not fit with the rest of the story.

I think what our author is trying to do her is shop endings to try and please everyone. The wimp husband ending of this story is the only one that works even if it is weak.

In a comment from the author posted after the last chapter he said that he would try to write longer chapters in the future but what did we get? Two chapters one one page.

On a positive note. The writer has the ability to write. He just needs to make his story more believable.

Only one ending but with two conclusions.

Otherwise no complaints.

My regards to the writer

Robert

You really had a great story going UNTIL the last chapter(s). Looks to me like you just threw an ending together. You're a much better writer than the last chapter!!

This ending fell short of any expentations. Hope the second ending is better.

OK, nunber 1. This woman needs to pay, to suffer, to know how bad she has hurt her husband, to know what it did to him and what she needs to repay him for his pain.Number 2. She needs to repent, to ask no beg for his forgivensss and keep begging, to try more every day to try and make sure he understands how much she loves him if she does. That is if she really wants to keep the mariage going.From the sounds of her discussion with her husband she is giving him more of an option, to forgive her or she'll do it again, she almost threatens him with Sallly and a trip to Boston and Fla. I say her husband should throw her ass out now and not wait for her to cheat on him again, which I'm sure she would do in a heart beat if she saw the twins again. He should tell her to leave and let her go to the Sally and her lovers. she has humiliated him in front of all his friends and business assoc.Once she leaves she may sooner or later begin to undertstand what she has given up and how badly she has hurt him. She doesn't now. Then again, she may never know and just keep living out her college days and her fantascies of 8 -10 orgasms a night. Maybe she'll become hooked on drugs and be a show piece to the brothers. She might sooner or later become one of South Beach's biggst whors. When she finishes fucking the rst of south beach, maybe she'll wake up and know the love she has lost. But he should never have taken her back like this ending. I await your next one. You're a great writer and I enjoy your work. V

I anxiously waited for this??? At the end of the chapter she basically blackmailed him to give in or she might go with Sally?? I'd rather he taken a kitchen knife out of the drawer and slit her throat in front of little Jake. You used to be so good.......go back to your day job!

It just didn't seem like a very strong ending. However it was going to go, seems like you ran out of "steam" or maybe just saving energy going over all the alternate endings. I would rather that you worked a bit more on this ending, and let others create their own alternate endings as done for other stories.

After the long build up, it seems like you kind of rushed to the end here.

Oh well, I'll take a chance and see if it works out better.

This is not the ending I expected. Kind of a let down.

Re read then re write the story to match the ending or the ending to match the story.

This happens when you write in small pieces. try writing the whole thing, then see if it flows.

Don't give up. Keep trying. You'll get it.

Rob

The two cubans need to be raided for drugs with a lose of licencee and Sue needs to be set up with a prositution charge or salisitation for prostitution for getting girls for the cubans. The wife should be forced to testify agains the other three. Someone has to pay for fucking up a good man.

Typical lawyer sh*t. Twists and manipulates to get her own way and then gets off scott free. "Depends on what is, is"

After keeping your readers in suspense (with 6 drawn out short chapters) waiting for the so called "marriage trial of the century" to conclude your story - all we got at the end was a fizzle.

Your story was offering so much potential - in line for being voted one of the best in this genre - but it all fell in a heap like a "D" grade movie.

I totally agree with Rob Connor's comments, so I won't add any additional comments or suggestions.

There is a good story in Law of the Heart, maybe you will have a better ending or someone else (like K.K.) will write a meaningful and exciting ending.

After waiting so patiently for all of your short episodes I feel so let down.

I'll give this ending a B+. There were no sins of comission for me. Only of omission. I would have liked answers to some of the following questions: How and when did she decide to cheat?; Did she think of her husband at all?; How did she decide to let them cum in her mouth?; What happened the next day in Florida and before her return?; What was her pre-marital history, esp. w. the twins that might be relevant?; Did she orgasm BEFORE intercourse?; Why had she NOT told Juan No when he asked to meet her again?; Why was she apparently considering moving to Florida?; How had she lied so convincingly?; What happened when she met her friend?; Why didn't she get mad at friend for pushing her toward the cheating?; What, if any future plans was she considering?; Why did SHE think he should stay?; What would SHE have done if she had been cheated on?

In this situation, I think the husband might have claimed anal as a condition to remain in the marriage, so that he had something that Juan did not.

All in all, good writing. Biggest frustration was waiting for episodes, esp. this one. After you write your endings, perhaps open it up to allow others to write their version, as many strong opinions have been expressed.

Best wishes.

Dissatisfied with this plot path but not the writers ability to scribe. It was predictable that one or more conclusions would be unacceptable wasn't it.

While I agree with KK that this is the foregone path and the most likely to occur given what preceeded it, it will be interesting to see what else the author has in mind given his predilection to more realistic lifelike consequence for marital infidelity.

His prior predilection also gives reason to this wimpy version being the first conclusion instead of the last. I too would prefer to be remembered for a more realistic conclusion than this irritating tolerant ignorance of reality. I speculate that it will be the least accepted of the three - each more aggressively positioned.

Author - very nice work - actually better than the begining in terms of spelling, word choice and format. The choice you made to take your time and do it "write" - to your standards and comfort level has payed off - due diligence as they say. Growing as an author feels good doesn't it. The next step is a good editor who won't constrain your imagination but will make it easier for you overall with another set of eyes and suggestions for consideration.

Lastly, look at all the interest and emotion you have provoked. [The scoring and comments will trend upwards on your next conclusion(s) so live with that without rancor.]

It is the subject that you have choosen which allows you to passionately write and evoke reader interest and their emotions. It is a subject which many of us have firsthand experience with and ties to - it is the one many fear or can personally relate to unfortunately, but that is the believability and reality you write to.

When marital cheating with consequence is written about with talent and care, it can be most captivating, satisfying and vastly more entertaining than most or all subjects here to a larger segment of the audience. It can be simple, direct or detailed in it's depth and be like a slice of life and justice for those offended or repentant.

What is puzzling is that more authors don't seize the opportunity!

Thanks Author - you are appreciated - keep growing - take your time - with high Regard

Actually, as it is currently written, this story ended in the first chapter. The whole story hinges around Jill not discovering that Jake is in Florida. Reservations at the resort were made weeks before the reunion using a group rate for one room out of a block of rooms. Jake and Jill's reservation was in BOTH their names with a jointly held credit card. The resort emailed a confirmation to them.

Jake got out of Logan one day after his ticket was good for? To Florida? He got a seat? Maybe, maybe not.

When Jake arrived at the resort, he was asked for a picture ID, showed it and was given a room key. Even if there had been a reservation mix-up in the resort's records, the credit card number on file at the resort matched the credit card in his wallet. He would need some form of picture ID, such as a driver's license and/or Mass pistol permit.

Jake put his bags and stuff on the bed, in plain sight, and went to the dock.

When Jill came down the path, every man I have ever met would have been close to a murderous fury and have been shaking almost uncontrollably, as if they had buck fever. They would have stepped forward and confronted Jill. Would it have saved the marriage? Who knows? But Jill would have been on notice that the choice was hers.

As K.K. said: "As for the husband, if he really loved his wife and wanted to save his marriage he could have stopped his wife before she went to bed with the Mendoza brothers. He had plenty of chances starting with the moment she got off Juan's boat. He could have let her know he was there and then they would only have had to deal with her topless behavior on the boat."

As I say, every man I have ever met would do as K.K. said.

Even if Jake hadn't confronted Jill, she would have known he was there the instant she walked into the room. She'd have gone looking for him and asked everyone she met if they had seen him. Sooner or later, they'd have gotten together.

Now, it's certainly possible that Jill could have met one or both Mendozas during the search and screwed them in the room, in a cabana or wherever. But, the story wasn't written that way.

I can't tell if this is the ending I prefer or not. I'll have to see the others before I'll know. Plainly though, Jill is a selfish person I'd rather not be around, if I could help it. She's a rich bitch. That says it all.

Phil

You make her sound indifferent as to wether or not they stay together,she stays friends with gal who got her into mess and he allows her to visit also with no repercssions,she does'nt ask how he knows all that he knows any other wife would wonder which classmates squeeled on her and maybe she could figure she could squirm out of it that way.You don't give her a carring personality you just show her as someone saying if you don't like it I will go back to florida with my friends.Let her tell him what she did,you have him doing the telling not her. TITLE THIS 'NOT SO GOOD

Had this been your only ending, I'd agree with many of the comment makers - a let down. However, let us all remember only three things should be done in haste, "flee the plague, escaping quarrels, and catching flies! So, bring on the proverbial big guns!

I know trying to write a story with more than one ending is hard. This one was ok. It was well written and kinda it the story. the husband was too much a wimp, its nice wanting your family but he gave in to her on every point, He knew she cheated and liked it , she wanted to go to Boston, She maybe even wanted to go back to Flordia with Sally. The story spoke of concessions she made, but he is the only I see making any.... So he works part time WOW, but now he is even trying to be a better lover so she may not cheat again>>> But I am looking forward to the next ending

One thing I hate is when a writer takes time to set up one ending, only to use a different one. That is a good description of Chapter 7. He lays out a case for him NOT coming home, only to, without any reason or logic, decide otherwise, contradicting ever single other word in the chapter. Uh uh. Sure, it's only fiction, but stories must follow a certain logic, and when the writer violates that logic, it is always to the determent of the story. This is a good example.

ll go 4 but there is to many things wrong with this story... she still wants to meet again because she never said no to juan... there should be conditions to him moving back ... she should give him anal anytime he wants ... she should also set him up with juans and hectors wives as payback for her fuckup ..in case that is impossible she should hire him two of the best prostitues she can find that he wants to service him in any way for a month and have to watch him as he fucks them multiple times...sally should be sued for alienation of affection and jill should never see talk to or hear from ever again... plus jill should have his name tattoed on her ass pussy and tits so no one ever forgets he is the hubbyand she can not get rid of the brand on her ... maybe a brand on her ass would be nice also ... she did not suffer near enough ...and it should be understood that if she ever did it again have her sign an agreement that he gets little jake and she gets nothing ...plus she has to pay child support and he does as he did in this story works part time and goes to the gym every day ... she deserves to be the one who never has time to do anything ..shouldhave to remember every day that she fucked up and that all that has happened to her is her fault ... mater of fact remind her every day ...give it to her good in the next installment

This person impersonating a man is a cuckold. Period. He could have stopped this silliness NLT chap 2.

The wife is a slut. Period.

The story set him up to be a cuckold, he never had a chance.

Any MAN who loves his wife would have done as KK suggested,

ran down the gang plank, grabbed his slut wife and drug her

cheating ass back home.

As I said to a few of you earlier, if a man has a chance to

prevent his wife from cheating and does not, he IS a cuckold

by choice. If he discovers her cheating after has already

done it, he may be a cuckold, but only until he gets the

proof he needs to rip her a new asshole. Sorry, forgot Juan

was in the old one. If a man and woman want to swap, he is

not a cuckold IMO. If you have an open marriage and mutually agree to seek others, fine. But if she cheats on

that agreement and you let it go...IMO you are a cuckold.

The story and the writing of it for the first few chapters

really pulled the emotions out of me. I was waiting for him

to nuke her. But instead, she comes to him and says her bitch friend is coming to see her and if he doesn't forgive

her, she may go back to Florida? HUH? Wimp hubby cuckold.

Many others have said it. This ending just makes me puke. If a guy really reacted the way this ass does he deserves everything that had happened to him. I loved all of the other chapters, but now may not even read your alternate endings. Grow up and write what you believe and cut out the alternates. If this was you, I won't be reading any more of your stuff either.

This ending was not what I expected. In the beginning Jake was shown to be a man of strong character eschewing riches to help those less fortunate than himself by being a public defender. In this ending he is seen to be a spineless wimp who yields to his selfish, self-centered wife's vertual blackmail without complaint. That Jill's so called love for the two Jakes is shallow is self evident by her even contemplating going to Miami with her "friend", as was her admitance that if she had not been caught her affair with Jaun would have continued. No man of character would have acted as Jake did here. The probability of this marriage succeeding are very slim, the break will eventually happen. So no mark for this chapter, maybe the other endings will be more realistic.

HH,

Well, you said this ending would be mild. Sure enough!

Everything is going Jill's way to this point; her facilatator (Sally)is still her good friend. Jake is turning himself into Juan and Jill is expecting him to measure up ("can you come 2 more times?")

Jake has been passive for story one. I expect that will change for story two as he "marks his territory".

HH, this one hellofa project you've taken on. Pls keep'em coming. As you swing the endings away from passive toward aggressive you're bound to hit an ending that someone likes. Pls,pls keep them coming.

I did not like the lack of detail in this ending; but, it's you telling the story. Pls keep telling it. JS

A good story so far - but!! Starting from "----four months later----" you wrote incredible rubbish. You better had stopped with Little Jake saying "DaDa more plane!". What comes afterwards, has been written by somebody else but you. Chapter "8b" is so imbecile, so stupid that you can easily put it together with the other 98% of trash on this site. Your suspense-packed story has been literally destroyed by this ending. What a pity!!!

Bavarian

Very well written but this is not your style. The ending is weak(ie. wimpy). I'll wait for ending 2. I would like to have the couple reconsile but not without some measure of retribution, especially on the Mendozas. Please don't wait so long before publishing the second ending.

Thanks.

So basically, Jill gave the husband an ultimation that if he doesnt love her anymore, she will go back to miami and fuck Juan and his brother.

Hahahahaha. But this ending will garner some fans though. Base on MANY stories I"ve read here, many people seem to like it. It seem the art of being a man is a lost art in western civilization. Self respect goes out the window.

I hope the second ending will be good.

Sincerely, Manh

The reason to stay with his wife because he's afraid to be alone is stupid. Reason to forgive wife because she made a threat to go back to Miami is insane. Where is the backbone for this man? Is that the reason he didn't stop her from having an affair in Miami? Could the ending getting any worse than this?

For the first six episodes of your story, Jill is portrayed as a brilliant, beautiful, personable woman that everyone worshipped, and Jake was braindead husband who lurked in the background and did nothing to slow Jill down as she went crazy in Miami. Now suddenly Dumb Jake has become articulate, decisive and has time to become tanned sexy he-man, while Jill has become dumb Nympho wife who only lives for sex. -totally frustrating story and your end 1 conclusion is a real let down. I don't know what a good conclusion would be, but this is not it. 60 year old George

I loved the story but hated the ending. Why not an alternate ending where he takes her back with a neptuil agreement that she loses everything and little Jake if she becomes adulterous again. Then we need a get even chapter against Juan and his brother. Sally seems like a scum bucket also. Put in a little violence and get rid of the scum people in the story.

Firstly, still good writing in terms of pulling in the reader's emotions and reactions. But as I said before, with chapters 1 thru 6 you raised that bar for yourself so damned high. This ending is just plain pathetic in terms of plausibility and credibility. Even the wimpiest of men must have a breaking point, and it's well below what this bitch has dished up! Thus far Jake's been strong and followed a course of logic that he's tried to pursue to obtain an outcome for himself, either a return to marriage on terms he can accept.... or ending it. You've lost the pattern of logic and plausibility that has been the strongest element in earlier chapters. I say that even though I agree with KK, real men would have dragged her arse out of there after meeting the boat, ....or ended it then and there! Again good writing but you are capable of great writing!!! MUST TRY HARDER.

Okay, so he didn't stop her. That proves that maybe his feelings aren't what he claims they are.

The fact remains that she cheated. She didn't appear to consider his feelings at all.

In such circumstances, I would cut my losses. The marriage would be over. I'd take her to the cleaners in court. There can be no love there, because there can be no trust.

That he even considers her feelings after what she did...? It just means she can walk all over him for the rest of their marriage, which probably won't last long. If I were him, I'd end it on *my* terms, not hers.

after all lets give him a chance to see what else he can do with this story.

WE WERE NEVER TOLD WHAT HAPPENED WITH JILL AND THE MENDEZA BROTHERS THE DAY AFTER JAKE LEFT MIAMI. WHAT FURTHER ADVENTURES DID JILL HAVE. DID SALLY PUSH HER FURTHER. WHY DIDN'T JUAN SET UP HIS NEXT DATE WITH JILL AT THIS TIME.

ENJOYED THE STORY, BUT NEED MORE INFORMATION. YOU HAVE ME CARING ABOUT THE CHARACTERS.

Dear H--

Thanks for another superb story. Now PLEASE FIX IT! OK, not fair-I know other endings are coming (whew!). I am looking forward to the different wrap ups. This one was a little too wimpy for me.

I can certainly appreciate your style and flavor of writing and I admire that greatly. I am glad you got the wimpy version out first, and hope like hell the next couple see him get revenge on this stupid bitch and the brothers. Otherwise, please do us all a favor and put this lying slut six feet under with her neck slit open from ear to ear.

I hated this ending it was just too wimpy for my tastes hopefully in the other endings you'll have Jake be strong enough to leave her and get revenge not only is this ending wimpy it is forced and unrealistic as well

I'm very disapointed

I read this story 4 times, It really got to me. I didn't care much for the last chapter. It needs more.

Suggestion one

You did a great job on explaining to her that the only remorse she got was getting caught. (keep on it)

(2)

How about telling her she has to get a chekup for any diseses. Finding out she's pregnant but from 1 month before her orgy. Should be his? That would give some good

story lines. While finding out about the pregnancy she does find out she does a venaral disese. Have the doctor call in Jake to tell him he needs to be check. Finding out he doesn't have it.

Jake has to ware a condom during sex because her lovers didn't.

(3) What about Sally setting up a dinner for her but not telling her she invited Juan and a friend. Could get interesting.

(4) Have Jake finding out about it and find having Juan behind him in a vet trying to pass Jake but Jake not letting him. There could be a 18 wheeler coming to Jauns car but no time to move. (crash) Who got killed. Jake drives on home.

(5) revenge 1 down 1 to go.

Just go with it. Lots to write about.

It's a good story, guy, but I get a sense that you're rushing the ending. There's a whole lot of "bargaining," "depression," and "acceptance," to use terminology from your story, that haven't (from my point of view) been covered yet.

seems like another cuckold wimp husband story,if he hadn't caught her it was off to juan again

Headhuntertales, we have been waiting for +3 weeks. Should we give up?

This was a really good story but the end disappointed me. Too wimpy. He can't let Jill get away with trying to blackmail him, & he can't let Sally get away with trying to entice her away from him.

Why can't she tell Sally "that you are the best man, the best father, the best husband in the world."? Because she can't get her own way? I like happy endings but MAKE HER SWEAT.

I'm looking forward to the next ending

Title says it all.

You are a good writer, and you have never been seen to to take the easy way out, so my only request is that you don't start now.

This story sucked. If you are going to have a cuckold wuss, at least have him get off with his humiliation so we don't have to read so far into the story to see it is about a willing sick cuckold. He stood by and let it happen, and then doesn't require any accounting. A more honest story would be for this clown to set her up for regular meetings with Juan and others, while he jerks off.

Come on big guy, you are so much better than the others who have tried to write the ending to this story. Getre done boy!!!!

Well written story; shame that Jill got away scot-free with adultery. Any wife who would callously cheat on her family when no marital problems exist is selfish and disloyal. You did not paint this picture of Jill at the start of the story. What about STD's and the implicit threat to her family from disease or pregnancy? An immature spoiled brat who will definitely cheat again. Jake really should leave and divorce; there's more heartbreaks ahead.

What a HUGE letdown! I know response after response has said the same thing, but what it boils down to is roo simple: the bitch lawyer WINS BIG TIME. She's got the perfect father for a son she cares so little about that she's contemplating leaving him for the hedonistic life with her old friend.

She's already had a wilder time in a short time than most women, especially married women with children home being looked after by their spouses, have in their lives. she now knows that her husband knows all about, and may have witnessed, her entire sordid affair (after all, he had the rings). Yet after he causes her relatively brief mental anguish, she's bullied the fool into basically agreeing to change himself to be more like her lovers, and to do so by taking Viagra, which in the long run may do him harm.

His more aggressive love making is, in effect, an admission that he was not "enough" for her (who could ever be enough fo such a nympho?) and was therefore at least partly to blame for her cheating.

What has she lost? Not her friend Sally, not even the Mendozas, who one must assume are just waiting in the wings for the day when the Viagra wears thin.

Other writers keep saying that any real man would have stopped her, but could she truly be stopped? Short of chaining her to the sink, would anything stop this bitch? Her husband was right when he pointed out that he couldn't be with her 24/7. He had to know if he could trust her.

All of us married men must face that realization at some point. But when she refused to come clean, and showed no true remorse, he should have seen that his future would be a rocky road at best. there'd always be new men, bigger cocks and eventually younger men. our wives have to want to be with us for something beyond orgasm quantity.

A better ending should reflect this.

Well written story, unfortunately its about another pussy ass husband who lets his wife whore out, lets her friends goad her into it and then accepts life as is. Trash it and move on. I was actually into this story as it seemed believeable. Cept the husband has no balls so obviously hes not bringing her to any orgasms.

that was great why did you cut the part of sallys visit i was hoping to see jake ball sally out and punish her for screwing up there marriage

Pat

Atlanta,Ga.

This Story Was So Predictable. I Knew He Didn't Have The Balls To Divorce His Lying Cheating Slut Wife Who Knew He Was Too Weakto Dump Her And Make Her Pay For Her Selfish Andunfaithful Behavior. Now He Will Beforever Wondering About His Wifesfaithfulness And Deceitfulness Until The Next Time. She Got Away With Murder Of The Heart. She.'ll Do It Again

Because the story smells sooo bad.

...Anything! Ever! And Hubster would have been in the saddle for almost half of slut-girl's income, including 20-50% of the Mendoza's income, whatever it actually was. And no matter where it came from. Surprised me that you did so much homework on the "Divorce" terminology and basic case instruction, but got nothing specific of Intentional Infliction of Emotional Distress, or IIED.

These lawsuits nowadays count for a lot!! Try pursuing some cases in real life, and you'll see what I mean! Things could get HURTFUL to someone found guilty of IIED.

The male character was just a bit too pathetic early, made his 'brief toughness' un real. Also rate her infidelity as nearly as bad as it gets, to deny for so long, and the strong suspicion she would of carried on with the cuban(s), unforgivable. Its not like she confessed voluntarily or even early the accusation. Denial denial denial.

A lying, cheating whore. No self respecting man can live with that.

truly enjoyed the read. not only well written, but i consider it one of, if not the best endings yet to the original story. a fan always.

You go from jake and Jill going at each others throat then you have them fucking there brains out what is this ?

Thank you so much for letting me know that you are a WIMP!!! Il come over with a few buddies to your place and we will have a good time with your wife. Im 6'1" and I work out too, JUST LIKE THE MENDOZAS!! Im sure it will boost your sex life even more, you pathetic peice of trash.

are the other endings? so far that did not really go well for me. if my wife would have fucked around it would have been one thing. but with someone she knew I hate and at a school reunion so that I never could attend one in the future besides I would kill the bastards, this end is no option.

worst story i ever read she should have told him she would leave him if he didn't let the mendoza twins move in he would of allow it

and make himself known. HJe would have caught her withJuan naked before they could even fuck. Then he would mnhave prevented her from fucking and still get his divorce from the cheating slut

Are you sure you don't write for fantasy island.

...HE SHOULD HAVE WALKED ONTO THE DANCE FLOOR AND DECKED THAT SOB,..TOOK HIS WIFE TO THE ROOM AND FUCKED HER TILL HER EYES BUGGED OUT,..THEN LEFT THE BITCH TO HER LOVERS AND WENT HOME...AND DUMPED HER ASS...GREAT STORY...ENDING SUCKED

While I thought the series was well written and held my interest, I hated both endings. I probably would have preferred either an interruption or a self-awakening prior to the actual act or much more in the form of backbone from the husband. How about he leave an envelope with both his and her rings for her at the front desk with a note on hotel stationary that he hopes it was worth it for her and to not bother coming home? Also, where were his friends in this? Wouldn't they have stepped up? Other than the endings, I actually was enjoying the story.

Tim

Adultery is a very serious offence and it is sad to see that Western society has degraded so much the institution of marriage that adultery has become trivial. Any man who accepts his adulterous whore of a wife without beating the shit out of his whore wife and her lovers is a WIMP. Love the revenge stories.

but I didn't like it much. Why would anyone just watch his wife get drunk, fuck other people and then get mad about it? She made the choice to cheat but he made the choice to not stop it. Granted he can't watch her 24/7 but she was drunk and being encouraged by her slut friend. should have made his presence known as the whore got off the boat and then fucked her brains out all weekend. Tell her what he saw and demand counseling or divorce or whatever he wanted at that point. There are always other women out there no point in stressing over one who obviously isn't happy with her life with you.

Unbelievably bad wimp out ending. As a person who claims to be bi, I would think you would have a much better understanding of men. On the other hand you just might be a women.

They sound like a bunch of old women talking about a soap opera like it's real. This is a story. Period.

I can't decide if these guys are teenagers who think marriage is like going steady so if your other screws up you just dump them. That takes no thought. So I guess that's why they respond the way they do.

Or maybe they're just woman haters. I wonder if they would give a wife whose husband cheated the same advice.

They sound like a bunch of old women talking about a soap opera like it's real. This is a story. Period.

I can't decide if these guys are teenagers who think marriage is like going steady so if your other screws up you just dump them. That takes no thought. So I guess that's why they respond the way they do.

Or maybe they're just woman haters. I wonder if they would give a wife whose husband cheated the same advice.

The initial story was a typical wimp/ slut losing story. Why does every second rate writer insist on writing a sequel

the ct. Yankee

that is a mistake because those who don't remember will repeat .... jill played her hand and are such things really forgotten? NO to this ending. NOT even a a bunch of free passes for him? other endings where they end it!

That comment was just pure ignorance. First of all, this story was about a marriage, not some high school puppy love. It was enough that the wife had willingly cheated on her husband while on that reunion trip, and with a man she KNEW he disliked no less. Not only that, she also cheated with the man's twin brother as well. But she also implied that she was going to do it again when the man made his planned trip up to Boston. That is NOT acceptable, I don't care how in love they may be. An example needed to be set, and she needed to be shown that such behavior would not be tolerated. However, you obviously chose not to have your character do such a thing, as he seemingly just accepted and forgave all of these things, with no consequences for her whatsoever. Because of that, I cannot give you any type of favorable review. If he was not accepting of her behavior, then he should've taken actions to send that message. Without that kind of resolution, this story simply falls short of being complete.

Do you think she will keep her panties on throughout their marriage?, --- -- Strike that. His Marriage, she isn't in any marriage is she, stupid...

Wuss

Big ol Spanish creampies by the gallen! What a dissapointment!

your stories are alot of the husband is a pussy stories

when can we expect other alt endings;if ever?

He established that she did not dismiss future infidelities, that she was considering calling Juan again, and then actually threatened him to do so some more if he didn't do exactly what she wanted.

I have a hard time seeing this as repentent.

No explanations of what happened when Sally visited - he obviously forgave but idea why - they obviously have a switch in roles and she is suffering the cost of working for a living and accepts it - but why - she wanted freedom and irresponsibility what happened??

She showed little signs of remorse or regret for her actions only for getting caught -

But is is well written and except the very end well though out if challenging to accept -

ADULTRY, an almost unforgivable violation of the marital vows, and with me it is unforgivable. This woman gave no considering to her husband and therefor deserves elimination!

Indonesian for "cuckold"

Why do writers who are adamant about husbands forgiving make the plots so absurd? Wife intentionally cheats, would have done so again, lies to him, tries to fool him by buying new rings (and how was he not going to notice a $7K charge?), exults in retelling of the amazing time she had with her friend, continues to be with the friend who facilitated her maybe losing her marriage, and somehow gets him to come back and then threatens him after three weeks?? And he gives in? He allows that friend into his house? Absurd.

IRL, she could have gone to Florida, but no court would allow her to take the child. In real life, they would be severly damaged for months. And

That's where she'd be living. She extolled the virtues of the Mendozas, alluded to the fact she hadn't said no and was considering meeting Juan in Boston. Then threatened him with possibly moving to Miami to become a whore, 'cause that's what we all know she'd end up as, if he didn't start showing her some love.

I'm usually a romantic and will always look for ways to reconcile but she made her position clear. Reconciliation on her terms. I would never trust her in the future. He shouldn't have to remake himself to keep her.

What kind of a person would write such trash. Only someone who is pretty darn sick and a perv themselves.

I have always enjoyed this story to a point. However, as I'm reading it I keep hearing my editor's voice yelling in my head "Too much description, not enough emotion." You could have cut an entire chapter out with just eliminating the redundancy you were using as a way to get your point across. That said, the chapters leading up to her seduction are marvelous. It's a shame that you didn't try to find a way to finish that night in Miami, because the buildup was so good.

I have to agree with the haters, however, that the story was somewhat lessened for me by the husband's acceptance of not only her cheating and lying, but by her threat that if he didn't forgive her, she'd leave him and her child and go back to Miami (presumably back to Juan and Hector, who had basically raped her). That just killed the end, and I hope you someday choose to alter it somewhat to make both their characters' actions somewhat more legitimate. There is always a way to get to where you want them to go that doesn't involve such enormous plot holes.

But it is a great story describing the seduction of an otherwise good wife.

While I don't think the ending fits the direction that the rest of the story takes, I loved the story. This one has stayed with me for several days and a few sleepless nights. I just can't seem to get it out of my head. I truly feel the pain this guy is feeling, and I truly feel the betrayal. I find myself wondering what I would have done differently, when would I have stepped in to stop Jill. I imagine myself falling to my knees in front of her bungalow screaming her name at the top of my lungs. This story has affected me, and that takes great skill. Again, I do not like the ending, but the beauty of this story is not found there. It is found in the moments where Jake is pleading with his wife (in his mind) as he watches her step closer and closer to the edge. That's beautiful, man! And heartbreaking.

I would like to try my hand at writing an alternate ending.

MWillDewey