Lawn Doctor

"Let me quickly add this, I sure hope that you're not the first one to turn me down. Wow, none of this makes any sense."

"Joe, I understand what you're saying. I can't believe that women our age would want, or even know how, to give a blow-job. We weren't raised that way."

"Who said the three women are our age? I found out that two of them are in their twenties and one is in her forties. All of them are younger than me, but so is everyone else, probably including you. Perhaps they do see it differently than our generation, but I would suppose that a woman your age could learn."

"What do they get out of it? How does performing oral sex on you give them sexual release, pleasure or satisfaction?"

"Lucy, what are you talking about? They're not anxious to have sex with a man triple their age to get sexual fulfilment. They aren't in it for the sex. What are they getting out of it? What are they getting? THEY'RE GETTING THEIR LAWNS MOWED FOR FREE! They get better care for their lawns than the lawn services provide and it's not costing them a cent. It just costs them a little oral sex."

"Alright, I get that, Joe. I take it that the woman you called 'my Donna' was, or is, your wife. Are you divorced, a widower or just a cheater?"

"I'm a widower, Lucy, I'm a widower. You can't imagine how I miss Donna. Life is not the same without her. I wouldn't be doing any of this if she was still with me."

"How long ago did you lose her?" she asked as her lower lip quivered.

"Well, it's been over a year ago."

"I lost my husband five years ago. I still miss him, but I miss many other things we did together more than I miss the sex. Do you just miss the sex, Joe?"

"No, I miss many, many things. It's kind of like what you said. Sex is the only one of those things, however, that I can possibly replace with another person. That oral sex those young women give me is not close to what I had with my Donna. What they give to me is a poor substitute, but at least it's something.

"I'm a man, Lucy, I still need sex. Don't women need it too? Don't you need it?"

"I don't think it's as big a deal for women, or at least for me, but I do miss it some.

"Joe, would you go along with a kind-of trial period? You could mow for me. If I'm satisfied with your mowing, then I can see if I can satisfy you sexually. Would you do that? If either of us is not satisfied, we can just drop the whole thing. I'm lonely, Joe, and I can see that you are too. I think we both need a special friend. I'm looking at that possibility more than the mowing. The mowing would be icing on the cake, so to speak."

"How long would the trial be, Lucy?"

"I doubt that it will take very long for us to see if it works, Joe."

"If you think that I can have normal sex with you, then you don't understand my problem. I don't get stiff enough to get the job done. Do you understand that, Lucy?"

"I'm not as tight as those young girls you're using. I've had five babies. I think I might be a little bigger and easier to enter than you realize."

I told Lucy that what she just said reminded me of an old joke:

There was this little boy that asked his dad where babies came from. His dad was busy and didn't want to get into it, so he told the boy to ask his mom. She was busy too, so she looked around the kitchen and saw a big flower pot sitting by the door. She told the boy that he came out of that big pot. The boy went back to his dad. "Daddy, did I really come out of a big flower pot?", he asked. "That's about the size of it, Son. That's about the size of it."

"I get it, Joe," she laughed. I've had five kids, but I'm not quite that big," she grinned.

"Gee, I thought that story might be about you, Lucy. Thought that might be how you got your name."

She punched me playfully on the arm. We decided to have a trial period. I would mow today and she would pay tomorrow.

Chapter 4

I Like Lucy

Her yard was a challenge to mow. There were lots of flowers, gazing balls, statues and even a swing and other furniture to mow around. She had some fantastic landscaping which I found out was all her own handiwork.

When I finished mowing, she said, "I'll have to admit, you did a great job. You didn't get any grass in my flower beds and you were good at trimming around all the obstacles. I'm satisfied. You passed the trial with flying colors. Now, the question is: 'can I satisfy you?' Do you like meatloaf, Joe?"

"I sure do, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Can you come over at 6 o'clock tomorrow? I'm going to make you a home-cooked meal. We'll eat before we get into that other thing,"

"That sounds great. I haven't had many home-cooked meals lately. What can I bring?"

"Just bring yourself, Joe. See you at six tomorrow."

Chapter 5

I Love Lucy

When I rang the bell, she answered the door wearing an apron. She had her hair fixed nice and her makeup made her look ten years younger. She was dazzling. I handed her the nice (think expensive) bottle of wine that I had brought and she kissed me on the cheek.

The meal was really good. If she was as good at the next thing as she was at cooking, I was in for quite an evening. We finished off the wine. I was thinking seriously of telling her that she had already paid me for mowing with that great meal and her pleasant conversation.

"Joe, would you load the dishwasher for me while I'm getting ready for chapter two?"

"Sure, Lucy."

She headed upstairs. I loaded the dishwasher and took a seat in her living room.

"Come on up, Joe, first room to your right," her voice rang out.

When I walked into the bedroom, there she was on the bed. She was as naked as a Jaybird. She wasn't like the twenty-somethings or the forties gal. She reminded me of my Donna. She was different than Donna, but not nearly as different as were those younger chicks. I felt more at ease with her.

"Are you just going to stand there and look, Joe? Why don't you get a lot more comfortable, if you get my meaning?"

I was as comfortable as a man can get when I crawled into the bed beside her. She put her arm around me and pressed her lips to mine. Her kiss sent me reeling. We kissed and caressed for a long time before she finally began to concentrate on my coc... penis. It was semi-hard. It was already as hard or harder than the young gals ever got it. It was still nothing to brag about.

She guided me affectionately into position above her. She put what hardon I had between her legs. It was touching her wet vagina. "Joe, Sweetheart, just move it up and down right where it is. Don't even try to go inside. Just enjoy the contact between us, Sweetie."

Just then, her cellphone rang. "Ignore it", she commanded. "If it's important, they'll call back."

"Oh, Lucy, Honey, that feels so great. This is probably as close to real sex as I'll ever get. You're so hot. My god girl, you're hot and this feels almost like the real thing."

"Sweetheart, you're making contact with just the right spot. You may not be rock-hard, but you're getting the job done for me, Joe. I'm not going to last much longer."

In a few minutes, I knew something was happening. Her breathing almost stopped and she arched her back. She moaned and said, "Sweetheart, I'm cumming. Oh, god, I'm cumming."

For the first time in more than a year, I felt like a man. I felt like I was finally a man again. I was no longer that shadow of a man in constant fear of losing the love of his life. I wasn't that man that expected failure. I was a real man and I was pleasing a real woman. A very special woman.

Her primal orgasm lit a fire in my balls that radiated right up to my cock (woops, got careless), make that, "lit a fire in my testicles that radiated right up to my penis."

The effect was very surprising. My penis was actually hard, but it was too late. She'd already orgasmed. I started moving to get back beside her.

"Stay right where you are, Sweetheart. I'm a multi-orgasm gal."

She guided me gently but quickly so that I was on my back with my now hard penis sticking straight up. Then she maneuvered herself above me. While holding my penis in her hand, she slowly sat down and let it enter her vagina. She commenced to move up and down. My reflexes kicked in and I thrusted up to meet her as she slid downward, but she was in charge. It was a role reversal from what I'd ever done before, but it was unbelievable. "Oh, my god, Lucy. Oh, my god."

She was breathing hard and so was I, as she gently rolled us over together. We didn't even break contact. We were quickly in the missionary position and I was in control. My manhood took another giant leap forward. I was a real man making love to a very receptive woman. She had her second orgasm just as I had my first real intra-pussy orgasm in way over a year. We entered paradise at the very same time. It was nothing short of fantastic!

"You're an amazing woman," I gasped. "Needless to say, the trial is over. You knocked it out of the park!", I uttered.

"You're pretty amazing yourself," she sighed.

"I don't know if I've ever been this winded," I whispered to her. "I'm so tired, but it's a good tired. I would have thought all of that lawn mowing would've kept me in better shape."

"I'm more than satisfied with your shape," she murmured.

We enjoyed a long period of afterglow just holding each other and kissing softly.

When we kissed goodbye at her door, I knew my life had changed forever. I felt it in my bones.

She called me the next day and said she wanted me to come by for supper. "Has your grass grown that much in just a few hours?" I asked.

"Silly man, I need you for something else entirely."

While we were eating, she told me that her older sister, Sally, had called. "She asked me why I didn't answer her call yesterday. I told her that I was helping you mow," she said with a big grin.

Her sister had said, "I thought he mowed for you yesterday."

Lucy told her, "He did, but he came back to mow a special area that required some special attention." (From that day on, 'mowing the lawn' had a special meaning for us.)

Her sister continued, "Lucy, as your older sister, I have to tell you that I'm worried about that arrangement you told me about between you two. You need to find out what his intentions are towards you."

Lucy told Sally it was all in the hands of fate. Then she said, "Sally, I was just trying to be as frugal as possible. Getting the lawn mowed for free is certainly as frugal as it gets. You always told me to be frugal, Sally."

I turned to Lucy. "I like that word, 'frugal' a lot," I told her. "It's a funny sounding word. It sort-of sounds like a dirty word.

"By the way, Lucy, did you ever hear about the young school-boy that had an assignment to use the word 'frugal' in a short story?'"

"No, but I'll bet you're going to tell me about it."

"Well, he asked his mom what frugal meant. To make it simple, she told him that a frugal person is a person that saves."

He thanked his mom and then wrote his story:

The beautiful princess was out walking and she fell into a big hole in the ground. She tried to get out but she couldn't climb out. She was desperate. She began yelling at the top of her voice, "Frugal me, frugal me, someone please come and frugal me."

The handsome prince rode by on his horse and heard her yelling. He jumped off his horse. He jumped down in that hole and frugalled her, and they lived happily ever after.

"Good grief, Joe, I guess that word does sound a little dirty in that context," Lucy laughed. Then she said, "You realize that telling that joke was a form of avoidance, don't you? You just didn't want to talk about your intentions towards me. You avoided Sally's question."

"Lucy, you can tell your sister and everyone else that my intentions toward you are nothing but honorable."

She leaned toward me and took my hand in hers. "Sweetheart, can we re-negotiate our agreement. I think my grass needs mowing at least once a week and I think that special place that you mowed last night needs mowing as often as you can do it."

"I think I can handle that, my love."

"I have one more request, Sweetheart. Is there any way you could see you way clear to mow for me exclusively from now on?"

"Well, Honey, Hope's boyfriend has moved back in and he's taken over mowing for her. Charity's husband is back from the offshore oil rig, and he's taken a job in town, so those obstacles are gone.

"That leaves Faith. I think I should continue to mow for her. I feel sorry for her. I won't make her pay for it, however. I'll just provide the service for free. The lawns will be dormant come winter, so the problem with Faith will take care of itself then."

"Is Faith that young girl that lives across from you. The skinny one?"

"Yeah, she's the Jungle blond that lives in the house with the green shutters."

"I know I shouldn't ask, Joe, but what's a jungle blond?"

"Oh, that's a blond that's been monkeyed with."

"Shame on you, Joe. I knew I shouldn't have asked. Tell you what, Sweetheart, just tell her that your girlfriend has decided to pay for her mowing."

"That's going to cost you, lady."

"That's what I'm hoping, Sweetheart."

Lest I lead you wrong, it wasn't really all about the sex. The sex was good and I enjoyed being able to function sexually again, but it was so much more.

With Donna, I always felt like it was us against the world. I was always on her side and she was always on mine. When I lost her, it was me against the world. No one was on my side. The world was winning. When I discovered Lucy, it was the two of us against the world and we were winning.

It was being able to share both happy times and heartbreak with someone that cared. It was about shared goals, values and beliefs. It was being completely comfortable with another person. It was about being able to talk about anything and everything without reservation. It was about love.

I had been lucky beyond words. I had been blessed with two loving women in one lifetime.

I started the whole lawn doctor thing to get something that was missing from my life. I found so much more than I'd hoped for. I found life again. The icing on the cake is that Lucy feels the same way.

I always keep my ears on alert. Hardly a day goes by when I don't hear those magical words: "Frugal me, someone please frugal me." That's my cue to spring into action. I'm her handsome prince and she's my beautiful princess. There are even days when I frugal her before she knows she needs it!

Well, here we are, past the winter dormant period and back to lush green grass and mowing. Things just keep getting better and better between Lucy and me. My problem is definitely gone. Just thinking of her makes me tent my pants. She cured me!

I want to call her "Cock Doctor," but she won't hear of it. Guess I'll have to call her "Penis Doctor." Well, not really. Probably better leave that one alone.

Speaking of Doctors, I went to see mine for my yearly physical. He asked about my erectile dysfunction problem. I told him it was cured. "Really, Joe? What did it for you? What's the secret?"

"Well Doc, first I had to embrace Faith, Hope and Charity. Then I discovered Lucy. In a short while I became her number one fan. And now, I Love Lucy! I Love Lucy! Doc, that's why I'm cured."

Doc just looked at me like I've seen him look at Alzheimer's patients. He patted me on my back very softly. "Good for you, Joe. That's really good to know," he said while looking at me like I should be in a straight-jacket. I'm sure glad he isn't doing a mental evaluation today.

Lucy is sporting a big diamond on her ring finger. We plan to wed on Independence Day. We expect some fantastic fireworks.

In the meantime, I'm mowing her lawn as often as I can. I mow her grass now and then too.

The End