All Comments on 'Lazy Saturday'

This story comes across as being written by a young person writing about being an adult and failing miserably.

Nice short story and an easy read. I enjoy some more complex stories, but there is good to be had by making it simple. Sometimes digging deeply into character development adds to a story, but too many lose track of the story line in trying. I'd like to see the relationships developed in another story. "Daddy," Lis and Charlotte have time. There is more than a hint here that Lis knows what she interrupted by the fire...

Will be reading more of your collection.

Have to agree with the first comment....................06/03/21

Nice story. I think mom knows!

Sorry if its a weird nitpick but it felt like you used "I" a lot while writing from the dad's perspective, it became distracting.

I liked the story, some parts felt rushed. Try writing a longer chapter or going slower.

Lia would have instantly commented about the taste of pussy on his cock...

I TOTALLY agree with "Didn't work" #'s 1 & 2, this story doesnt work as a whole anyway. Likes SOME elements of this story but overall its a disjointed mess of seemingly half thought-out ideas forced together.

Ohhhhh.....loved it!!

I remember the first time I fucked my daughter. I wish my wife was in on it, but it never works that way

Loved all of it until “Lis wasted no time grabbing it and taking my shaft into her mouth for a couple minutes, before getting on all fours.

I did as I was expected to do and shoved my cock inside her forcefully until she came, pretending to do so myself.”

A woman would ABSOLUTELY taste another woman on her man and furthermore, there is no way you could fake coming in your wife without her realizing it. All you needed to do to make the story perfect is to have Lis say “make it good for her!” Or something like that.

All comments thus far are pretty valid. Your writing style is very nice but the story progression is more than a bit abrupt. There was no segue from the beginning until he had his hind in her pants. You also implied that Liz was onto them when she came out but never did got get her involved (threesome?).