All Comments on 'Learning from a Friend'

but you have gotta get a proofreader! Your typos, poor choice of ords and other technical errors make it hard to enjoy your story. The ideas and images are strong and sexy and deserve better treatment...

Instead of being able to let myself go and enjoy the story, I was distracted by how much editing I wanted to do! There were issues with sentence structure, missing words and misused words. During a second pass the sorry itself is fun, but poor editing brought my interest down.

Unedited stories are more fun, and I know they are the work of ONE person.

...but in this case they are right.

L_A you have a distinctive voice and it shows in your writing style.

You do not need to be stuck in some officious academic styling to appeal to fans of your work.

absolutely awesome you have no choice but to write a sequel I will be watching for it

I like how you told us how personal this story is and how you built up the story line. I don't think the misspelled words and structure of the story hurt it at all. If you are concerned about how it affected your story then maybe for part 2 you should release your original version and an edited version to see what people think.