All Comments on 'Learning to Live Life as a Lesbian'

...but it reads a bit like a shopping list - maybe a tad too linear; this happened, then this happen, then this other thing happened, etc.

Good, but I'm sure next time will be better.

xx

This started out sad but you got my interest by feeling for your character. Then, when she was sitting on the beach with her friend, is when you really had me hooked.

I loved your story. It read so real. I could see Janice and Donna. Nice job.

Don't really know what the other poster means by linear. This story was fluid to me with all the right transitions.

awesome hot horny story. now you must write that next part,

with them both using there mouths and toys to start this very excitng affair.

I agree about the shopping list comment. You spend soo much time explaining janice and her dilema.when it came down to her finding a lover I feel like it was rushed not intimate enough.but I really liked the concept of the story.

That was a very nice story. In the beginning, it was quite slow but, soon it started catching rhythm and before I knew I was getting more and more interested. The story was a beautiful one. Hope to see more in future.

Could've been better. At the beginning it was boring always talking about the same thing, she wasn't into men and didn't have the courage to come out in a world ruled by men, etc etc. It felt redundant always trying to explain the same thing over and over again. Then at the end it felt like you got bored and or tired of writing it and just rushed it; it had good potential to be a very good story but you didn't expand it enough.

Keep on writing, practice makes perfect. :)

perhaps a budding author? The story you told is a good one with two decent characters who secretly share the same problem. You should continue it with Chapter 02. Your dialog was easy to follow and your narration was good.

I encourage you to sit back and read your story aloud or have someone read it to you. Notice your reactions, how you feel, and then edit to remove feelings you don't want and sharpen feelings you'd rather have more of. Specifically, I encourage you to add more detail to your sex scenes. In this story you built us up with this practically virgin lesbian who had sex on her mind so much she was masturbating multiple times a day, and when she Finally finds a lover you describe her first lesbian sex as, "Donna used her mouth, tongue, and fingers on Janice in the way that no man could. She had two quick orgasms, before she had a long, loud one."

If you are unsure, go and write detailed descriptions of what your fingers feel like to you when you play with yourself. It's good. The story is good. You can do a chapter 02 and really knock us for a loop.

It will be a little slow in the beginning for most of the straight readers. Being gay I can understand the fear Janice has about coming out, so I probably enjoyed reading this story a little more than some.

Much of page-1, read like a 13 year old girls sex fantasies. With a list of all the scary pitfalls. ((How do you approach another woman for sex without revealing that you're a lesbian?)) Yaw the first time, that's a hard one! ((She had much to lose and nothing to gain by declaring her sexual preference.)) Nothing to gain, Really?

Page-2, picked up quickly when Janice and Donna got to the beach. I was really getting into the story when, "Now comes the but." you ended the story so fast.

And they lived happily ever after. "Goodbye." Wow, I'm sure some of your readers like me got whiplash, with that ending.

I still enjoyed reading this story, I just wished it was longer..

Thank You, Ogla.

I enjoyed it

This is a great story! I was wondering WHEN? Donna would come out lol