All Comments on 'Leave It All Behind'

much better ending. I like the comment implying his going back to his girl in Rome. Subtle , but catchable. 4 *

I think this is a better ending. All the "bad guys" got their just rewards.

Dave doesn't deserve a happy ending any more than Torrie or the Bennetis.

Thought the rebroken nose was kind of karmic irony. The whore lives in squalor, but is more worried about her appearance than her living conditions, or education, or overall well being. Plus she's got Herpes. What a waste of humanity. She'll end up working the street until HIV or the drugs or some thug puts her lights out for good. Only question is why did this dumb ass marry her to begin with? He deserved what he got from her.

of fictional characters that doesn't even happen in the story. Bet you wish you'd just get the typical 'fag cuck shit'.

I think the original was better. This ending felt tacked on and forced, and frankly I preferred not knowing what happened to the wife, who in the end, really didn't have much choice in what happened it seemed.

Assuming we can believe her that Joe forced her, and that seems pretty believable.

Better than the first ending, but as others have said, the gratuitous broken nose was uncalled for.

I also would have liked him to have hooked back up with Lisa.

As for his family, I presume he'll set up some way to stay in toiuch.

Once again, there was no child rape, just the threat of it.

I also noticed the "conscious/conscience" goof.

Guess you two didn’t get off the first time round describing in detail the Child Rape. So you just had to find an excuse to write about Child Rape again. There is a debate on the best way to rid the planet of you two. Some think hacking your Facebook others think exposing your names and address some think a knife in the stomach then upto the sternum. And then there is the majority that picked all the above. Please reply to this comment so we can “unpack” your electronic info

None of these people are worth reading about.

Almost like a different story.

A very good read. Gave you 4*s.

Now you have a new problem. You re-wrote a story. Made some commentators happy. Now the rest are going to start.... What about Lisa, why doesn't David go back to her..... Why did he beat/ kill his wife Torrie.... Why didn't you have him kill Torrie she is going to send the cops after him.....Can we find out about Bill, did the cancer get him ?....Does Hank get a closer relationship with Karin?... Why not ? Don't you understand BillandKate, Hank really loves her.... etc, ad nauseam.

Thanks for the entertainment👏👏, BillandKate. Look forward to seeing another story from you soon☺.

AMerryman

I just love this ending!

Remember... it isn't murder if you kill guilty!

Good work.

While I'm more satisfied with how the characters all settle out in this one, the missing piece for me (in both versions) is who/where the Benetti $$$ got diverted to. In the best of all possible worlds, David should get some of the offshore funds, and so should Karin! ;-)

Oh well, that will have to take place in the epilog in my mind. Thanks for this alternate ending, and for your continued contributions here!

Since wife is living alone and is tied up with no food or water and broken nose, making so blood flows down her throat? How many other people (women and children) did end up killing?

And if he had such awesome IT skills, why didnt he use them while on the run?

He didnt get angry when he caught her fucking. He didnt get angry when the mobster threatened him but she screamed and he broke her nose, tied her up for 24 hours. Shes crying and he beats her up a second time?

This guy has issues.

And lets be honest. You think guys are going to balk at fucking a wonan with a broken nose? Shit. You dont know guys at all. Theres a reason there are ugly hookers.

It’s poetic justice that Lisa contracted herpes. Then it’s poetic justice again that David destroyed her manufactured nose - despite the domestic violence, it’s still self-preservation for David.

If David was really concerned about the police catching him, why risk reconnecting with family? Then he disappears again, after seeing family? What’s the point of leaving them hanging all over again? He’s obviously concerned about getting arrested stateside. Now people know he’s alive... so why isn’t he concerned about extradition? He might as well disappear elsewhere in the states under his new identity (wasn’t that part of why he left Mexico?)

Getting back with his wife really wouldn’t work as an ending. A life where he’s always hiding from police works - a lot of Nazi war criminals did it for decades. He could even marry and have a family under his assumed identity.

His life depends on anonymity. His family can’t know his whereabouts, and his wife can’t be talking about him breaking her nose again. David should have killed the wife after receiving the anonymous text. The police wouldn’t spend a lot of time investigating the death of an ugly whore living in squalor, so close the loose end.

FWIW: Karin was bothered by her ‘conscience’, not her ‘conscious’.

Thanks for the re-write. As one commentator suggested you could have another story with David and Lisa getting together again.

Honestly, I think we could have done without the extra nose hit, but otherwise not bad. I didn't think David deserved the nameless death from the original, and I like the additional details about the squalor the ex is now enjoying. I would hope 5 years is enough time for him to simply walk away after asking her about John. 4* thanks.

Sick fetish B.T.B story for the lovers of I hate women readers here.

Try fetish next time and maybe you will have better scores.

Nope didn’t like the new rewrite, Still a 1* maybe is the way David is, don’t like his one bite.

University of Sydney not Sidney

Your first effort wasn't much good & this isn't any better. It's not the ending of either that's at fault it's your plot. It's like reading a low grade erotic detective story. Poor - 2**

So he just dumps Lisa

So David lived. That was an improvement. Still could have used more detail.

same four stars

Better only because he survived. However, the ending was still...uneventful.

Hi! Thanks for the story. I’ve read both endings & I think that if the story is supposed to be a “standalone” then the original ending is the best. However if you’re intent is to develop the characters “Karin” etc. for future adventures (that I hope) then the second ending is preferable.

Thanks again & good luck:)

Just because...

Gratuitous assault of a woman

Awesome ...

Not

I guess the manhunt starts now since his DNA is all over the place.

I wonder if the detective will try and find him at the ex”s request,

A broken nose

For a broken nose

I much prefer this ending. Glad David survives!

I like it

You actually read some of our comments! Much prefer this ending, thanks Kate, as David survived and Torrie reaped a little of what she sowed. Love to see good win out over evil and no bad deed go unpunished. Thanks

Much preferred this ending except the rather gratuitous violence on Torrie.

Well, breaking her nose again seemed gratuitous. He ran and hid all over the world for fear of being found. Did he really expect her to stand up to the crim to protect him?

Usually, you two write a pretty good story, but this one had no good ending. I agree with Kate though, the noir ending was worse.

Just as bad as the first ending. Fact is there was never a good ending for what you both wrote.