All Comments on 'Leave It All Behind'

Another good one!

Not as good as the other stories involving Karin, but still good. Had to laugh about Torries nose, but she deserved it.

Yay David lives!

There remains an option for an accidental incest story, since we don't know what ever happened to Torrie's daughter.

I've enjoyed your very nice writing.

Spends all his money getting a false identity because he wants to go home and see his family, and the first thing he does when he learns he doesnt have a price on his head to fly off to Rome? Yeah this ending is better than the original, but how about an alternative alternative ending that actually makes sense? Third time's the charm?

I love this alternate ending compared to the original. David needed that.

Very good story. And punching the wife in the nose both times was understandable; she was a cheating slut and she was doing her best to get David Carson killed by the mob guy. As for the comment by "AnotherChapter" it is a fucking story, only a few stray electrons were injured in the making of it.

No excuse for the domestic violence the first time, never mind the second. Yes, Torrie was a cheating slut, but we never did get the background on that. David was an ass who gets off on tidying up and beating women?? Don’t go there.

I’m in the process of reading all your stories, I’m enjoying most of them!, but I disliked both of the versions of this one.

By the way, the word that you are looking for is conscience, rather than conscious as in ‘What a relief; her conscious never stopped bothering her after giving Benetti Carson's whereabouts’.

David was a jerk. He didn't need to hit the SKANK again. She was no prize but tie her and leave her be.

It was a better ending, but I didn't like the violence to Torrie even though she did deserve it.

Better ending. Except now I do feel sorry for Torrie. One bad choice, and not even clear what her options with Joe was at the time he applied pressure, and she is paying miserably for five years. And David breaks her nose again and ties her up. In the first story her true colors came out but in this one she was raped, abused, and has herpes. Wow such vile.

My second read.

Consider doing another with Hank as the central character.!

There are people in the three letter agencies that are so deadly NO ONE messes with them.

Likely, if they did, the leader and most of their organization would just dissappear without a trace. This is likely why organized crime won't touch them.

As bad as they are, the 3 letter faceless killers are far far more dangerous, unforgiving and have not a shred of remorse or compassion. They would never stop coming...and the bad guys everywhere know it.

I really enjoyed it, But then again I generally really enjoy the stories the two of you give us.

Around here there is no such thing as a perfect story and even when the ones you two give us aren't, they're still good enough that any issues, which is rare, are easily ignored.

I do hope you two keep writing and sharing with us for a long time to come.

A far better ending, he was not a bad person and did not deserve to die in a mugging in a backstreet of some small Mexican town

VERY LUCKY GUY.

As scary as the mob is many of the 3 letter agencies have better intell capability [no way in hell to hide if they want you) and far more dangerous, better trained and experience killers than the mob.

Lord only knows how many "bad guys" disappeared, without a trace, and no hint as to to who, where, how or way. The mob is scarry, the real monsters their worst nightmare writ large.

The Roland's are AWESOME.

B&K, PLEASE, PLEASE give us more!!!

Every time I find my way back to this story I like it a little more. I think the scene with the girl's father is the best. Good story!

Well done! Keep writing.

XYZ

LoL, I like THIS ending better!!!!

Better ending

Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuch better ending. I wonder who he doesn't fly over to Oz and look for his volleyballer! Oh, I presume he untied the pug-nosed wife? (Still married, right?)

I liked it. Was V happy to know there was a followup. But - it started the same!!! 2/3rds if a sentence in, I remembered, it was a story lune change... and checked the dates. Dammit. Dammit all. I am so V rarely a swearer, but this triggered reiteration. Your 2nd title, carelessly fashioned, put the rewrite, FIRST. I dutifully skim forwards to see if some klutz wrote a series and did not have the foresight to aptly name them to be sequentially noticeable. I TRY to read a series in order. Your gaff is v upsetting. We readers have to be scrutinizing detectives, before we can just sit down to a casual read. It myst be my oversight, but I feel there ought be a more idiot resistant approach than a mere mention of an alternative ending. The result here made the rewrite appear to have a followup, as a similar name, follows, and not every writer names Chap 1 & 2... and after the good story, I was looking forward to reading the ending. But I got the real ending, first. Maybe delete the original.

MUCH BETTER ENDING

Sort of OK, but where’s the rest?????

Love being strung up, or is that hung up?

Maybe being tied up - to the bed is better!

Alright, I like this one better.

You are both GREAT story tellers.

I really like this husband and wife team.

Consider making them an ongoing series?

The charachters are totally believable and engaging.

SIX STARS from this reader

-hicountryrider

You never hit a woman BUT you can hit a cheating bitch. I have read this twice. My only question is where is Lisa? I really had hoped he would have reconnected with her maybe return to Australia with her and re start both of their lives. Have a couple of Aussie/American kids. But hell I am just am old man and I like happy endings. almost a 5*

First ending is more realistical. In this version the David character is someone who would better endure the ending of the first version. Only 2* worth.

Ending than the first

Like this ending, better.

@ BillandKate.

I've got a sneaky feeling you misunderstood

the last comment from 26thNC.

I'd put money on he (she) meant happy

for the slut getting added punishment ;).

I, like most men, am not in favour

of males punching females.

Not because they might not deserve it

but because a physically stronger person

shouldn't punch a physically weaker person.

Still, I think that's a minor thing in this story.

What's major, is that this is one fine story.

A strong, interesting and enjoyable plot.

Both versions.

Both get top rating from me.

And thanks to "black" Bill and sweet Kate.

to 26thNC

Kate agrees, a better ending (for David, not Torrie). As always, we both appreciate your positive comments. Take care.

B&K

Much better ending, especially happy for Torrie.

Much better ending than the original.

But what about poor Lisa?

Angstignored

It had to be a duplicate because the original is in the police evidence locker. And the fact it was a duplicate was on purpose since John Benetti was sending a message.

One minor nit... "The stranger held a large knife in his hand. It was an exact duplicate of the knife David had used to kill Joe Benetti."

Did he have any way to know it was a duplicate, and not the same knife, to send a message? At any rate, I found it interesting, if a bit overly 'convenient' at times, for all concerned.

Did he leave Torrie tied up?

Sorry, the first ending was better - more interesting and, well, more deserving (for some characters).

Read still again. A happy ending for everyone, especially the readers.

Lol, I agree with Kate. Can the film noire. This was a much better. There are tons of good writers that have fairly static locations, casts, plots.

If you were to make a series of this lady detective, there's enough flexibility with her, bill and (fascinating sounding) Hank. Lots of opportunities for series.

That he might meet up with a tall Aussie lady in Rome?

"For the second time in his life he punched a woman. It was the same woman as the last time and the punch flattened her brand new nose. All that money and Torrie's nose was right back where it had been two years ago." Damn, and this was Kate's ending? Torrie might have fared better if her name was something like Kathy or Kimberly.

Personally I liked the old noir films, Bogie did some of the best and there was the 'Thin Man' series.

I preferred this ending even though Karin didn't get to toss Torrie's ass out of the office this time but Kate's having David pop her in the nose the second time rather made up for it. Signed: BTW

At least more like your story telling.

Enjoyed

Apart from the denouement, there were small small details added that helped the story. I'm surprised the Lit blue noses didn't censor this because both Benettis ends were quite violent. Refreshing to have something that isn't a sanitized as the typical BTB story.

I liked this ending better than the first. The wife got something that was coming to her as did the brother. The detective was relieved. Just sorry that Davis & Lisa didn't reconnect. Well you can't have everything. Keep writing.

Either ending is okay. I guess flying to Rome is out for nowadays.

5.

Yep liked this ending much better

Again. Still like this ending better. Especially the broke nose.

At least David lived and that’s a win in my book

Good story. I won't say he won, but he kept his self respect. Good story and a pleasant change of pace. Did I say "pleasant?"

Is right on this one

Your comment reminds us of the quote, "There but for the grace of God go I". What a poor, pathetic life you must lead to critique authors on an amateur erotic website. And to do it with such venom!

We "Americans" never assume spell check will highlight all our errors. And we actually appreciate when we receive feedback if we've misused a word. But, we must say, there are better ways to point these errors out than this.

The fact you are still 'anonymous' would lead one to believe you haven't tried to publish here or that you have registered but are too chicken-shit to comment using your Literotica name. In either case, we really do feel sorry for you.

Thanks for today's chuckle,

B&K

...just one example: ¨her conscious never stopped bothering her¨ - a sickeningly common malapropism on this site. Probably the only thing that pooped (sic) up on stupid spellcheck. Americans assume spellcheck will fix their ignorance of language.

At the same time, this author team does have some talent - but lacks the expected erudition.

So here´s the word you need: conscience. Hard to spell? Shouldn´t be, for ¨writers¨.

Don't listen to all the negative comments, you guys rock.

love you and thank you for sharing.

I think that this alternative ending is a big improvement! Thanks I enjoy your writing.

The human mind is amazing. Doubt you did it on purpose, don't know why I saw it.

Only low life pieces of shit hit women.No excuse spoilt the story he was a complete coward.first draft was better neither bad though

know quite a bit about protection and how to, with class, TK U MLJ LV NV

Absolutely pop her in that nose again, she deserves worse than that.

This was a better ending,but he didn't need to punch the bitch in the nose again.

That only made him less a victim and more the asshole.

don't leave us hanging on this one

Did you write this little version just so David could break the cheating bitch's nose again?

Karin and Bill reappear in our next story, which is in the process of being written. So, yes - Bill beats it. Thanks for asking.

but did bill survive the big c ?

The 'whimsicle darkness' thing in the first version has never played well for me. You wrote it well, but introducing two new characters with massive chips on their shoulders, who kill a guy you just told us was always wary and looking over his shoulder and specifically trained himself for such surprises . . . well, that was a bit out-of-place. I think it could have worked if he felt safe for a while, finally, and was beginning to relax, so he wasn't being careful. But it sort of flew in the face of who he was and how he lived. Still, it was good reading.

I liked version two also but the ending wrapped up maybe a bit too cleanly. The second punch did have a dark humor . . . but as somebody mentioned, just flicking or maybe tweaking her nose would have shown something extra on his part. (He's tough enough now, he should no longer have to beat up women who annoy him. But given the set-up, it wasn't a bad punchline - direct and secondary puns intended.)

Now those are just my opinions of course . . . in this type of story, the wrap-ups are the hardest part, and it's impossible to please most of us in LW even part of the time. But overall, really fun reading in both versions!

You know that finger flick thing people do when they're checking melon ripeness? Maybe just have him do one of those to the tip her nose. It would show character growth. Then figure out a way to hook him back up with Lisa and you're good to go!

I do not read them for legal or even realistic accuracy. I am not a doctor, lawyer, policeman, or banker. I realize that stories here are fiction. They come from the imagination of the writer. That being said, you rang enough of my bells to warrant a 4 star rating from me. I really liked the PI Karin, her husband Bill, Hanna's biological father Hank, and Jeff.

Some I can see both senario's coming about he was Devastated finding wifey with a known thug. then while on the run finds a good woman and every thing goes to Sh_t . He ends up leaving her then Drink's and gets Mugged in Story #1 in Story number 2 He comes back tracks his ex Down. Rebreaks her nose finds out Big Bro Bennetti is No Longer a Problem. Both Good.

Everyone has their idea of a good Loving Wives story. That being said,opinions are like assholes, everyone has one. In my humble opinion, I always have trouble understanding the knee-jerk reaction of some truly unfair comments and ratings given to some writers here. Let me explain.

There are different categories of stories on literotica.com. And within the LW's section there are different categories and writing styles that differ quite a bit. Much like different types wine, if you have never taken a wine tasting class, you don't know what your drinking. You can't appreciate the quality of the different types of wine.

Every writer here brings something different to the table. It think it's awesome this site has so many talented writers. BillandKate are one of those that produce a very good quality of stories.

That being said, I am saying I am a fan of theirs (and all those in my favorites) and hope they continue posting terrific stories.

at least a happier ending (except for the ex-wife with the broken beak)

BillandKate - don't get discouraged. Posting any story in the LW section will never be received well by everyone. I'm convinced 45% of the readers demand scorched earth, 45% want pure cuck shit, and the other 10% are reasonable, and know how to enjoy a story even if it doesn't go as people want.

I try to be reasonable. I was disappointed that the original ended the way it did, but that didn't make it a bad ending. We can't always get happy endings. People don't like that. They want their bitches burned, or their cucks happily jacking it while their wives take two dicks in their ass. But the MC's death was insignificant. It was almost like a main character in a TV show being killed-off off screen. To me, it was a meaningless death. It might have been better to have him killed by the assassin. At least then his death would have been tied to the main plot.

She gets promised a nice vacation and gets dumped hard instead.

I liked the original better I think mostly because it's the original even though it was really sad. If this alt ending was the original then I probably would've liked it a lot better. Really nice short story, just wasn't crazy about the ending.

Guess this story just sucked whatever we did. Thanks for reading it, giving it a second shot and leaving your comments.

To the anonymous commenter threatening our lives. Can you please at least read what we wrote before threatening us? The daughter (Hanna) was not raped, neither was any other minor. The person who threatened to rape the young girl was boiled alive. We can't make it any plainer than that what should happen to a child rapist, or even to someone who would threaten to harm a child.

One more thing. Bill has never hit a woman in his life (neither has Kate). We both abhor domestic violence, but it happens. In this case two times too many - but it's just a story. No real people, plants or animals - children, women, whatever - were harmed during the writing of this tale.

Back to the drawing board. We hope the next story turns out better.

Thanks again for (most) of your comments.

B&K

For those worried about Lisa, at the end he found a flight leaving for Rome in three hours, presumably to go back to her.

A rather insipid ending to an impossible-to-finish tale. Once upon a time there was a radio program called: "Can you top this?". A comedian would tell a joke sent in by someone in the radio audience and the laugh response of the studio audience would be recorded on the 'laugh meter'. Then the permanenet cast of comedians would tell similar jokes and try to "top" the laugh meter level of the original joke. One of the cast of comedians was "Colonel" Ford. He would tell a joke and if it fell flat, he would keep the loke going until he either "topped" the original joke (almost never happened) or he would get sqluelched (usually). I'm afraid that this tale is like Colonel Ford's jokes: never will top the original and only gets in deeper and more hopeless. Sometimes a bad deal (or a bad story) should be left alone. 3* for a bad try.

I get that you caved and created an alternate ending to soothe the whiner brigade, but turning David into a violent thug who smashes women's faces in? Christ, he was better off dead, at least that way he didnt look like a vicious monster who deserves death.

This is a better ending, but it's even better having two. It's unfortunate the girl was left behind because it could have ended in an episode of drama with Torrie. It's a bit sad Torrie got such a short stick, but I'm not saying anything bad about it. Anyway, thanks for the story and bringing out the mop to clean up the ending.

5 stars for nice story and writing. I was tempted to deduct one for breaking the poor girls once a second time- she was as much a victim as anyone, and being a slut doesn’t mean it’s free punch noses time. I feel sad for his girl he ditched; he just seems to run and leave them too much for my taste. Oh, how’d the chemo go? Would like some closure on that side plot.

David lives. 5 stars.

Sorry Bill, Kate was right.

Both good. This was better.

Gave it 5 stars

Another BillandKate classic. *****

Having said that, I've never....ever....had a woman tell me to not tongue her asshole anymore after she's had it once. Of course I brush my fucking teeth or have a little cup of mouthwash afterwards before kissing so maybe that was Mr. Carson's problem.

I liked the 2nd story ending better - but I have really liked most of your work. Did not read the Hotwife stuff.

I didn't put in any assumptions about Torrie's motive - sex around the mob isn't necessarily consensual.

This one was more straight forward, but in my mind suffered from a too easy resolution, and made the protagonist into more of a dick.

I thank you for your offerings.

Green-something

You seem to like the idea of breaking a woman's nose.

Bill...are you thinking of breaking Kate's nose????

LOL if you do. My advice. Duck, turn and RUN fast! Oh, and change your underwear.

Ha Ha

Samson

Another 5*

I agree with the others. The story is interesting and has a lot of potential, but both endings feel rushed / illogical / abrupt. Lisa was one of the more interesting aspects of the story, and this version fails to tie things up with her.

Does Bill OR Kate have a brother or sister who can offer ANOTHER ending? Build up that pub-vita.

ANON ‘This stories (sic)...’. RE-read it. Hubby will call someone to release Sweetie as soon as he has left. Singular Possessive of ‘story’ is “story’s”!

WHY would Hubby leave the US? His family is here, including two new nephews. Leave town, probably state as well; but he has a new ID. It is good enough to get him through US Migra. He doesn’t have a lot of capital left. Why waste several kilobucks to go to a country whose language he doesn’t speak?

At least this version is a bit more plausible.

Listen to your wife. :-)

LOL at breaking her nose again

The first story was interesting and readable. The disagreement between Bill and Kate is perfectly reasonable.

Lisa is left behind no communication just left. After a few years goes back home and finds his x wife and busts her nose and ties her to the bed. How was she going to get free, now we have a murder. Goes to the detective and gets a call that he is in the clear. And he believes that. Goes back to Italiy and who does he expect to be their for him. Totally unacceptable finish . It just doesn't work. Too much left out including Lisa. .

PS. Any time I am around knives and someone else, even family, I always am thinking defensively.

Better ending, to me at least.

BETTER! =-) 5*

Thanks for the re-write.

much better ending. I like the comment implying his going back to his girl in Rome. Subtle , but catchable. 4 *