All Comments on 'Leave Me Breathless'

This was good, at no point did I really find any of the characters really believable, but if taken at face value, it was decent. For one, no 18 year old girl acts like that. She sounds like a vengeful prosecutor. No matter how smart she is, orchestrating this is twisted and unrealistic, unless shes some kind of psychopath. Helena? As a teacher, going to your students house to pick out clothes is already a big red flag. Agreeing to try and date a students father because he has a cheating wife is also not normal. The father has an incredibly short grieving period for someone ending a marriage of 18 years. Doesn't seem like he had to think too hard about anything and just jumped into Helena's arms, showing that he was kind of over his wife and into the teacher already. All borderline cheating traits.

Strong, principled and intelligent -

Totally plausible too IMHO - not common but real - I know more than one young woman who could do much of what she did - I raised one -

I liked the story and its flow not a standard perspective and I did figure out where they were early but enjoyed thew journey yo took us on to get there -

Thanks -

It's well-written, but that's no 18 yo girl's voice. Sure, there are smart teenagers in the world, but Kit/whatever her name is, has not one breath of innocence to her, and that's what is lacking here. It makes me not give a shit about her, I just see her as a cold, smartassed, evil, manipulative little cunt, who I hope will never procreate. I feel more for the mother. No, this is Dad's view, sorry. You're having a hard time hiding your male voice in this one.

Ok, dude, what's with every guy you write about driving a Mustang? Don't get me wrong, it's one of the greatest cars of all time, but occasionally pick a different car. P.S. Love your stories!

I like the fact it was told from the daughter point.

Different and nicely done. It had a few issues but they did not detract from the flow of this tale.

Thx

was supposed to be from the point of an 18 year old girl. But this chick sounds closer to 45 with a degree in family law.

Best part, "Mother, if you open your mouth, I'll slap the shit out of you, right here in this church." The best part was the retribution on the cheaters. CHOMP!

annon 5 4 13. ss06 is too polite to say anything bad about his rraders. so ill do it for him. go die motherfuckers. we dont give a shit about you. it was a wonderfully beautiful story and no puny ass bitch like u can challange thaylt. and i hope thst my daughter is even half as loyal to me as kit.

I loved it. she should have made Eddington. pay five years as well as the rent on the apartment. also wouldn't mind swing sequel to this one. maybe from Helena and Dan's POV. YES HE WAS PISSED but he should have made the first wife apologize to the daughter as well and made Eddington contribute to the medical payments even if it is just paying her part for the insurance and copay. the real loser was Eddington wife here. she should have gotten something out of it even if it was to just have the slut come and clean her house for her. on second thought maybe not. wouldn't want her stealing anything from the house. and if Eddington wife wanted another child she wouldn't even need to have sex with him. there is a way to get the semen out though it w loo Ulster be really painfully for him as the procedure goes with have an electrode theist up his but against the prostate and electrifying it to force it to ejaculate into a cup and then have it inseminate her.

just a few thoughts on the matter but seriously give a sequel some serious thought. I imperial you can pull it off and do it well.

kudos on the story 5*+ in my book.

I enjoyed the story, but I just cannot see an only daughter turning on her mother to that extent. They must have had a hateful relationship before Melinda caught her mother. She could have been angry, disappointed and disgusted with what her mother did, but to not care enough to even visit her in the hospital was a bit of a stretch. Sounded a bit like a psycho to me. Keep writing though. Thanks.

This story had many magic elements which characterized a cheating spouse getting her due. This story flowed with charisma charm tragedy and humor. The entertainment value was incredible. This is a story I thoroughly enjoyed and I will definitely read it again and again. This is StangStar06 at his best. Thank you!

This is one of the best written stories I have read here.

comes forth un-aware knowledge and restraint, TK U MLJ LV NV

It is too unlikely that you can replace the love you have for one woman in an instant. Not after a break-up, a loss and especially not after cheating. But we all would like that...

This was like 7 pages of laughter-fest. "Mother, if you open your mouth, I'll slap the shit out of you", lol. Melinda's got to be the best daughter ever.

I love this story! Only thing is - why would there be a custody battle and child support for Melinda? Isn't she 18?

I've read this multiple times over the year. It's one of the stories that you just cannot forget because it keeps hanging on in the back of your mind. I'm not sure if it's because of the daughter's perspective or if it is because there's resolution for him without really seeing inside his mindset.

Guess it doesn't really matter - in my mind it is still the best from the best.

Thanks, Stang!!

- Thabes

This one brought a smile to my face. Was fun reading it from the perspective of the daughter instead of the couple. Damn good pacing too.

What a tremendous tale. A wonderful father. A smart and intelligent daughter. Oh, and a cheating skank whore cunt twat wife and mother.

Well, the cheaters got what they deserved, the husband and father found his real true love of his life and the family lived happily ever after. Doesn't get any better.

One thing. MILLBURN DRYSDALE???

Weill I say "Weeeeeeeelllll doggies!!!

OH YEAH

"betrayedbylove"

to have a Melinda rather than the two that covered for their mother. Even going so far as to delay me in the driveway so the bitch could get asshole out the back 5 seconds before I walked in the front.

I rather liked it; Melinda ( I was thinking Mel, Mel, Mel & Mel again) was a unique POV but I disagree with the ones who say that she wouldn't be so aggressive. I think that are many kids who would "go ballistic" if they were to catch one of their parents; some would take pics, set traps, automatically tell the other parent, some would tell Grandparents, priest, friends. Some might bury it for awhile where it'd fester and haunt them, building pressure over time until set them off. I hope that there wouldn't be many that would help hide or defend the cheating spouse(although I saw a comment here to prove that it has happened in RL, yikes). I don't know which would be worse; the cheating spouse knowing that they've been caught, or where a child see's but the cheater isn't aware!!! The guilt for not telling the other parent would have to be mind-blowingly painful.

As too hubby's response; sorry - but being involved in that type of an accident, especially with the phone calls, deception, I would find it very hard to talk to the wife again! At this point we know that she was involved with "at least" 2 men (in this case co-workers) over the course of 2 years, brought one into the house, was using the school events to cover tracks, talking to hubby during the events, etc... I mean c'mon - would anyone really take her back? AND - If someone like Helen was there; I can't say that I wouldn't accept her assistance.

Somebody made a comment that the "Marital Contract" was between the two spouses & that kids should "butt out"; I say BS. The contract is the building blocks for the FAMILY; and the cheater is violating everyones trust, breaking all ties (as you pointed out "throwing the family away") for a fling. Any parent who thinks that a child wouldn't / shouldn't be hurt / offended - should not be married, nor a parent. That's like this wife who didn't practice what she preached.

FYI; my HS Principal was caught having "relations" with his Secretary, on school grounds, before, during & after hours - whoeeee, talk about a mess.

I think that most people would frown upon Teacher / Student / Parent relations; but in very small, close-knit communities lines do get crossed to similar extents except over longer periods of time. My graduating class had 45 students; town POP of approx 1200, so I know that it happened. Some was out in the open, but some was behind closed doors. This particular scenario was abbreviated; but I do in fact know of Teacher / Parent & Teacher / Student marriages that developed over 3 - 5 years or so.I believe that one was even 10 years later.

I've completed approx 2 dozen of your stories. I agree with some of the post that I've seen; including your own. You fabricate and tell "stories"; but I believe that you sell your self short by a country mile. Knocking a story out every week; posting others on another site. I'm an avid reader and have been reading your stuff almost non-stop. I might read something from the Suggested List, but keep coming back to your list. I am an artist ( drawing / painting / silk screen ) so I do pictures versus your words; but I "see your stories". There are many others here that come across as though Barney Fife was the narrator; flat, lifeless, boring - whereas yours are fun, engaging, sometimes dark - and most of all imaginative.

Thx DKP

Well written story that is both serious and amusing. Unique POV of daughter and enjoyable characters. 5*

very, very much. The cheater gets what she deserves and the "cheatee" has a great start on a wonderful new life. But there were problems: 1. Kit was a very smart girl, but she could not have had enough life experiences to be as mature and savvy as she appeared. 2. I assume Helena had never been around Dad before the trek in the woods. That was enough for her to become smitten with a married man and virtually confide to Kit those feelings the next school day???? WAY out of character for Helena. 3. Some of the writing was a bit confusing. Picture (if you will....) sentences and/or paragraphs that appear in 1, 2, 3, 4 order, but 1, 2, and 3 don't make sense because they should have come after 4. 4*

He is lucky.

He had no need to pay a P I

No need to pay alimony

No need to wait and suffer very long to find a replacement

No need to make the fire that burnt the bitch.

Good story

A galaxy of stars

normally I don't like the longer stories,,, however this caught my interest so strongly I got caught completely up in the story itself and had to see it through to the very end. One of the best written stories I have had the pleasure to read in this site. Saratu

Came looking for erotica but stayed for an attractive story. Well-written and a sympathetic, admirable character in Melinda.

There are thousands of writers here that can't put an ending on their stories. Fortunately, there are a few who can. Thank you.

Right up there with Irish Eyes, which I consider to be one of the very best on this site.

whether physical or mental leaves one gasping, TK U MLJ LV NV

...you did it again, as usual. Extrordinarily developed characters, a story that captures the imagination...I don´t know if you are gifted, but in my eyes you certainly belong among the top 4 on this site. Please keep it up, - in the name of all those readers that still have their balls and enjoy your style. 5*

Can I kiss you? :D

I hope I never have to go though this. But if I did I pray my daughter would stand like that for me. Very well written as usual.

lets take the Bull by the Horns, what could go wrong, TK U MLJ LV NV

Great Daughter story,you should consider writing a few of those.

There just nothing like a sort of cynical daughter much wiser than her years who loves and takes care of her pa.

Is there a way to hold a future Supreme Court seat open? That girl is amazing

I liked the story very much. It is now one of my favorites. *5*

Wow! What a story. This is the kind of daughter every man wishes for. She was one of the best characters in the stories I have read on this site. The husband, the wife, and the new wife are pretty typical characters - we've read about them in many other stories BUT the daughter made this story from good to great. Thank You for some really enjoyable writing.

(I'm not really a car person and not into Ford's but I am starting to enjoy reading about Mustangs. Every time I see a souped-up Mustang, I think of StangStar and his stories.)

....but you keep on doing it. Wonderful story, wonderfully written. Nothing more to say except I regret having only 5 * to give. Thank you.

great story 5 stars plus keep writing. what about a sequil about Helina Jim and Kit.

WHAT A GREAT ONE LINER. THE CHEATER LOST. THE HUSBAND WOUND UP WITH TWO GREAT WOMEN HELINA AND KIT THE SOON TO BE LAWYER AND TWO MORE ON THE WAY. THIS STORY LEAVES ME BREATHLESS 5 STARS PLUS

I remember reading this story a little while back. I did not leave a comment then. I must say that this is one of my top favourites in this site. This is THE story that got me hooked to the Loving Wives category.

a worthy 5 stars.

xxxhugsxxx

TwistedOliver.

YEP THAT IS THERE SONG. GREAT STORY HAVE READ IT MANY TIMES. THE CHEATER LOSES AND HELINA WINS REMEMBER HE LEAVES HER BREATHLESS SO GO ON TEASE ME TOUCH ME. 5 STARS

RON

Great writing, and a lot of fun watching the author and Kit save her father from the cheating wife blues!

Mel and lets her have the reins. If he gets in her way he will be run over.

great story

thank you

This is one of the best stories on this site & you should be justly proud. Everything just clicked & I can't think of anything that needs changing; an extremely well written tale. Congrats. 5 * * * * *

Very well written. Now only if he could get helena to give up the gm product. :-)

Melinda goes down to the kitchen after hearing noise and discovers Helena cooking bacon, come on have you never cooked bacon, you can smell bacon cooking in the garage. And a "practice dance"?

Otherwise a decent read.

....I never fail to enjoy it, As usual you have delivered proof that you are one of the most talented authors this genre has. Thank you (again) for this fine piece of work. 5*

I AM NOT FINISHED HOLDING THAT HAND YET A GREAT ONE LINER. KIT WAS GREAT IN HER ROLE AS THE DAUGHTER. THE CHEATING WIFE COULD NOT STOP HER CHEATING EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD IT MADE A GREAT FAMILY GREAT HOME HUSBAND AND DAUGHTER THAT LOVED HER SO THE QUESTION IS WHY CHEAT? HELINA WAS JUST WHAT THE DR.(ENGIN EER) ORDERED PLUS SHE WAS CRAZY ABOUT KIT AND LOVED JIM. NOW JIM IS LIKE A LOT OF MEN HE LOVED HIS WIFE SO HER CHEATING NEVER CROSSED HIS MIND. JIM IS A NICE GUY WHAT MOST WOMEN CALL A KEEPER BUT HIS SLUT WIFE THREW HIM AWAY . 5 STARS NOT THE FIRST OR LAST TIME TO READ IT.

RON TEXAS

I read this story 4 times ..,, still great

Kit is really something. Helina was left breathless by Jim. Teresa now can cheat all she wants that is if anybody wants her now.

Such a good story I do hope there is a follow up story about them.

Well if this were real life, and if Melinda actually became an attorney, she would be a formidable lawyer.

One of my all time favorite stories anywhere let alone Literotica.

Can she do an internship with the Angel of Death?

Chuckle 😎

Enjoyable from the first line to the last.

Flat out love Melinda! What a character. Between Melinda and Helena, Jim is the luckiest man in the world inside your brain. Seriously, these guys warrant another story from you. Please consider it.

One of the best stories that I have read many times. It deserves a follow up story about them PLEASE say yes that you will write one.

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

A great story and in my favorites. I am hoping that you will write a sequil to this story and bring us up to date on Helina,Jim and Kit and the twins.

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

a GM car?

I loved the subtle use of the name game in this story. Most are just blatantly obvious, but not this time. One use of Helen instead of Helena. A passing reference to going by her married (widowed?) name instead of her maiden name of Troy. Well played.

gum chewin girl delivering divorce papers ? Scotty

What a great one liner..Breathless Jim just left her Breathless. Now Kit tied the story up into a nice Bow and kept it moving along. Helina and Jim bless there hearts fell totally in love but both were afraid to move on it. Again Kit steps in gives them both a push(as in pushing them together). A great story and in my favorites. Read and enjoyed many times.

OK now when Will the sequil be out and have you decided on a name for it???

Ron. Texas

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Just reread this and enjoyed every second of it. I also would like to see more written about these characters. I'm sure that I'm not the only one wanting to know if Kit and Dean get married. Or if her new stepmother gives her car to Kit because her husband gifts her a new mustang. (Do I sense the possibility of family races occurring?)

The ex was a cheating slut but perhaps she could do something to slightly redeem herself, like lose a leg trying to save a child about to be run over. Or an arm trying to save someone from a shark attack. Would both be too much?

Anyway, now that the author is writing again, perhaps he will consider continuing this story. His readers can only ask.

One of your best, Stang.

Just read it again just as good the first time I read it.

Ron

cowboyridecc @ yahoo.com

Very fine story. Well done.

don't remember seeing her in the story, is it the name of daddys car ?

It gets better each time I read it. I would really hate to have Kit as my enemy but oh what a great friend she would be. Have you thought about a follow up story about Kit, Hleina and Jim possibly the ex also??

Ron

cowboyridecc@yahoo.com

Very well written. Nice ending.

Wow. Twelve and a half stars!

I'd give more but the editing wasn't flawless.

My new favorite read!!

proper chuckle start to finish ---I needed this today thank you 5***

Although I would rather have a sister who is a prostitute than a brother who is a lawyer, I must admit this one is a good writer. The story is worthy of my 5-star rating.

"Hey Dude. Don't ask her to dance. That guy will knock you out.'

To answer your question, Becky is Kit's best friend since daycare. She's mentioned on page 1 first.

From StangStar. I loved it. 5 stars. Just one thing. "Becky Thatcher"??

"Millburn Drysdale"?? I smiled a little when I saw Becky Thatcher, but I

blew beer out my nose when I saw the name Millburn Drysdale.

And I would bet half of the people who read this story won't have

a clue who Becky and Millburn really are.

I loved the story beginning to end. It seemed like it was real, was it?

onward, upward and into the future, TK U MLJ LV NV

Really one of the best. Not perfect, but damned close.

What an absolute pile of shit... The daughter had control over these people??? She would have ended up in a dumpster or worse...

Thank you. Funny how some readers just don't get it. It's romance. Why do they leave bad comments. They should be reading anal or orgy stories.

On another note thanks for mentioning the GTO/ Monaro. I'm an Aussie and they were dubbed the best car ever made by GM. So much so that here in Australia you hardly see them. I think they are already locked away with the 68 ponies. Alas we are at the end of making our own cars. As a Ford man it is sad that our last Falcon is to run off the line later this year. The Commodore ( Chev Cavileer) wil soon end as well. Just because slave labou and robots can build cars cheaper. Boo to GM and Ford.

Lol, But this one is just fun in it's absurdity

This author did a great job of tieing all the pieces together.

Very enjoyable to read, excellent story telling.

Thank you for brightening my day.

But for some odd reason (probably due to the title) I had the Quiet Riot song in my head throughout the whole story. That's neither here nor there, I'm currently working my way through your story list and I'm enjoying all of them, even the ones that are dark and especially the ones that have supernatural aspects ( so far those are my favorites!!!) you have a writing style that allows me to suspend belief and just get into the story. So I offer my humble thanks to you, mikothebaby and the rest of your editors for some really fun and enjoyable reading. I patiently await new stories from you (preferably supernatural ones featuring the characters you've already created, but if you write it I'll read it).

ahziwyldemann@yahoo.com

....I hope she is a badass like Melinda. Loved her character. I enjoyed this story and although I am a real btb fan this worked for me.

Both my wife and I enjoyed reading this story! We both thought this ended rather too quickly. Please consider writing part two?

Yes in my favorites in fact an all time favorite. Kit really makes the story come to life. I was/ am hoping for there to be a second follow up story about Kit her Dad and Helena with possible cameo appearances by her mom and the Eddingtons. Great story.

Please DON'T write a follow-up to this story. While the entire story was great, the best part was having Kit tie everything (and everybody) up in a nice, neat package. Anything after this would only detract from the ending. Thanks for writing!

What a sugar sweet story. I thought it was written by a 13 year old. One * from me and I skipped the last two pages

It did say Kit was a 17 years old kid.

To me... ... it looked as a 71 years old lawyer

BEST. DAUGHTER. EVER!

Of all the stories I've read here this is one of the top 2.

The story just flows. There are no awkward plot changes, other than the cheaters the characters don't just jump into bed, (in fact I feel that they conduct themselves above reproach), and the way the characters are portrayed is very realistic.

An EXCELLENT and we'll written story.

Why would this wife decide to cheat on the man she says she loves? And to do it repeatedly with people her husband comes into contact with. And having her daughter know and deliver an ultimatum that she just ignores to continue to cuckold the man she "loves" is just unbelievable. At least I liked the ending where the husband knocked off the being more than fair bullshit and went for the bitches throat. That was real. Let's se more of that.

In the world of cheaters, a liar and a thief are the same only the words are different!

I would hate to piss off her daughter She-it man! Anyway I hope all you cheating bitches and bastards get caught and suffer OH GOODNESS GRACIOUS ME , MAY THE FLEAS OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INFEST YOUR GENITALS! Oh were was I oh yeah The story is Fantastic! Love you all! GREG. OH 100 % OF READING ENJOYMENT BYE!

Except for a few details, it could very well be non-fiction. Trust me, I know this for a fact. Well written and no details were left out. Very good storyline.

Terrific LW story. Characters all fleshed out and believable. Always a pleasure reading this authors work and look forward to many more.

I've read a lot of stories in this site, and never have I come across a protagonist as impressive as the daughter in this story, whom you named after the legendary mountain man Kit Carson. Like the real Kit Carson, she can react to a surprise quickly and positively, scout out the possibilities and piece together a plan of action, and then carry it off without wavering.

This could be the basis for a great anthology. How would she ram her way through her undergraduate college studies, what would her love life be like, what adventures would she have as a newlywed, would she take apart one of her law school professors for sexual harassment, and then as a young assistant DA what cases would she prosecute? Would she then go into private practice or would she return to her alma mater to teach?

Her unflinching, unwavering readiness to fight for "truth, justice, and the American way" makes her a fierce enemy of evildoers, and she could be cast into as many situations as a writer could dream up, without losing her gleam.

She really left me breathless!

Hans

This is my favorite story of yours by far. Loved it being from the perspective of a bad ass loyal daughter, the only other story I've read that was similar had the daughter as a bit of a sociopath who slipped her mother some kind of drug to get her to cheat in the first place because she thought she was unfit, which was a little over the top. But this was just great.

Amazing story from a true lovable bad ass daughter. She deserves to be in the next "Expandables" movie. One of the best and more original stories I've read. More please.

Melinda is uniquely sassy. Of that, I will agree!

However Hans, you must be aware she is an underage highschooler so don't let your wife discover you perv on jailbait!