Lee B 03

Lee B 03

I mean, those "shorts" from last week, right? I had to put them away in the "selfies only" drawer for a while. I cause enough ruckus when hanging out on the Strip as it is, I guess.

[Some long hair in a spiffy jacket leans into truck window]

"Huh then, Lee B, so?"

"What Carla? What does "huh then" mean? The last time someone said "huh then" to me my undies were showing and the wind curled flipped my hair away from my chin and I promise, I always curl flip my hair to tinkle the bottom of my chin."

"Lee B, your undies are always showing (and let's not talk about your hair). But listen, Lee B, there are a lot of girls in Middleton who want a shot with or have taken a shot at Jimmy J, even though he's lazy and getting pizza fat, and then you just swoop in with some crazy koozie sex invention and, well, you got a taste of his medicine, so huh then."

"Oh, well, I just approached things differently with Suzie, so. She needs her boyfriend Jimmy J and her fresh breath for all of the men who can't help themselves from lustfully kissing with her on the side and stuff, so."

"Hey, I'm not judging, Lee B. Like I said, a lot of girls have taken a shot at him and then you got his shot and with Suzie's permission, so yay you then."

"Carla, do you want to run up to the "Stop & Rob" convenience store with me? I need some new sex aid invention supplies and the Strip is just getting started, so?"

"Yep, but if we park in the PDA area when we get back, you have to kiss me like I'm your wife then, okay? I mean, after that I need to mingle the Strip, but at first, right Lee B?"

Well, I don't know much about all those girls who lost and cried over Jimmy J or anything, but they probably went about it all wrong. I mean, hitting on Jimmy J in a driveway while he's delivering a pizza was never going to work, so. I just straight up asked his girlfriend if I could size him up, so.

Also, Carla and I have been best friends for like 3 minutes, I guess.

"Oh, I'm driving your fancy little truck then, Lee B?"

"Isn't that why you snatched the key fob from me, Carla?"

"Well, you need your mind free to think up your next sex aid gimmick, Lee B. Also, here is a list of girls that you post on their Chang accounts about how well you know Jimmy J and all and it's only a silly coincidence that I snagged your key fob and handed you your tablet at the same time, so."

[Launch, 2G's, 3G's, 4G's, 5G's, Houston, roll successful]

And no, I would never post such devious comments. I like having Jimmy J as my prototype model, just like Suzie likes her side kisses with fresh breath, so.

[Screech, wheel hop, wheel hop, whop, whop, screech, smoke, parked sideways]

"Oh, sorry, Lee B, that's your left eye ball on the floor board, so."

[Ewe, plop, ewe]

"Clyde, whatever Carla wants is free, right?"

"Did you really give my wife a demo of your sex koozie invention on her dildo, Lee B?"

"I mean, Clyde, did you know that your wife spent the money on that damn thing? It squirts like a toy doll that cries with water!"

"Oh, give me just one little pucker kiss down there, Lee B and I'll squirt like a man!"

[Carla passes just behind them giggling while pushing a two wheeled dolly cart full of her free stuff]

"Clyde, if you catch me with your son, Claude, well, how would you like to "catch" me someday then?"

"Pucker lip sucking a purple helmet on all fours, Lee B, so I can sneak up behind you!"

Nah, I just wanted to hear him say it. Besides, Carla was still loading up her free stuff, so.

"I wonder how many times old man Clyde replays all of his Tranny tease back talk security videos then, Lee B?"

"His wife said until he pops off."

"And did you fuck his wife then, Lee B?"

"Oh, no, it was just a koozie wrap demo, which had a demo back, LOL, but my real sex is reserved for you in two years just like you said, um, right Carla?"

"Just checking, Lee B, just checking (next year will do). To the Strip then!"

[Launch, 2G's, 3G's, 4G's, 5G's, Houston, roll successful]

"PDA parking available to the left, follow my hand signals, please."

"LOL, Billy is hand stroking in the air, Lee B, LOL. He wants a product demo from you."

"I'll slip him a little something to keep an eye on the truck bed full of stuff from the store, but other than that, I'm not slip testing with Billy. Are you going to mingle up and down the Strip then, Carla?"

"Yeah, but tongue me deep like I'm your wife, Lee B!"

[Mwah, ummah, ummah, oomph, oomph, ummah, ow, ow, ooh, mwah]

"Hoot, hoot, woo, woo, get that, hoot, holla, slurp, slurp, baby."

LOL, I mean, everyone on the Strip likes it when two girls kiss, right? Even if one of the girls isn't really a girl, yet looks like a girl, like all the time.

[A whole lot of hair leans into the truck window. A whole lot of hair]

"(Gulp), you're a Falcon."

"They're classic cars. Tell me what color my bra is and you can buy me and the crew a couple of pizzas. You're the koozie boy, right?"

"(Gulp), black lace with electric blue accent threading and pushup balcony cups."

"Falcon Cee C, we're just over there and a Jimmy J delivery would be appreciated. Does your weird little koozie invention work then, koozie boy?"

"(Gulp), Lee B, um, it's awkward as hell, but um, with everything about me is so small, I mean, I can only handle the tip, but my test subjects always passed their tests, so."

"Well, there may be a Falcon or two who might like to try that out. We don't judge and I've seen you on the strip before. So, a couple of large meat lover's then, Lee B?"

"(Gulp). My fingers are working my phone as I gaze down your shirt, I mean, as we speak, Falcon Cee C."

"Your girlfriend is cute [mwah], bye, koozie boy."

[A whole lot of hair flips it's way out from leaning in the truck window]

[And wears a small block timing chain as a necklace???]

Whew, I mean, I got away with that one, right? The accent threading that outlined her bra cups was totally South Pacific Sea Blue!

Also, LOL, a license plate on Strip is the same as an address, right? LOL, it is on the Middleton Strip!

[Beep, beep, beep]

"Just across the Strip, Jimmy J. At the Falcons. And then I'm supposed to back away, so."

"Yeah, but Suzie has another party tomorrow night and she likes her fresh breath now, so she has cut me off, Lee B, so?"

"I'll be around, Jimmy J and not to just make the ladies jealous. I'm working on a new sexual aid invention that involves a drill bit, a C-clamp and a red shoelace, but I have a few details to iron out before I try it out on you, so."

"Oh, ahh, oh, I like your original hand wrapped and taped koozie invention, Lee B, so?"

"LOL, I'm just kidding, Jimmy J. My next invention uses a plastic straw and not a drill bit, so?"

"Whew, I mean, you had me there for a minute, Lee B, so, whew. Anyways, I mean, hey there, hey, Jimmy J with two large Pizza's for the Falcons! Going once, going twice..."

LOL, the ladies just love that Jimmy J. Oh, and who of you out there are Jimmy J? Who of you can woo all of the ladies and still handle the funny boy with the little butt, I mean, body, huh? Who also agree that just the head will suffice for every single sexually situation ever invented, hmm?

And when I said plastic straw, I meant a thin coffee stirrer type for the guys with the banana bend.

"So, I don't really want to call you koozie boy, but thanks for the pizzas and all, so?

"Oh, I'm Lee B and you're Falcon Kurk. We climbed the rope side by side in a rope race once back in the day. You let me win, but I always had a feeling that it was naughty reasons, so."

"Oh, well, then we been a thing for a while then, right Lee B? I mean, I remember that now and if my memory serves me correctly, I helped you down from the rope afterwards, right?"

"Which was 90% of the naughty, Falcon Kurk, but we both lived, I guess. So, eat your pizza and I'll be around then, Falcon Kurk. I'm parked just across the strip."

[A whole of hair, flipping and bouncing all the way, approaches while seductively holding a slice]

[Anxiously waiting for her to sexually take a bite of the pointy tip of the pizza]

"Huh, it sounds to me like a "naughty catch" at the end of a rope race deserves a little naughty pay back then, so, huh, then."

[Bite the damn pizza! Bite the damn pointy tip!]

[LOL, I can only handle the tip]

"(Gulp) Falcon Kurk, I'm paying you back for that day then."

"Ah, ah, ah, Lee B, your girlfriend is with her boyfriend in the store front alley, so the other way will work better for you two."

"Ah yeah, the loading dock alley, Lee B, the loading dock alley then!"

"(Gulp)."

[Finally, a whole lot of hair latches down on the pointy tip of the pizza slice and rips]

[Which causes a ruckus and a pile up on the Strip]

"(Pressure pucker, pressure suction) Aha, Falcon Kurk, did you just say that my way was kinky because I can hold my pucker pressure on your fat purple helmet without one of my weird koozie sex inventions then, hmm?"

"Tee, he, well, Lee B, it's not like I was struggling to find another kind word to say or anything. I mean, just creep down the stem a little, just a little."

"(Muffled) Like this?"

[Pucker lips suction creep down the stem]

I mean, with the just the tip of a guy, it still touches my back teeth anyways, so.

"Oh, oh, just a bit more, Lee B. Let my banana bend follow the contour of your throat, Lee B, ooh."

I mean, I just said it!

"Oh, Lee B, just a little more, ooh, see, it bends in your favor, Lee B, oh, oh!"

"(Really muffled) Ga, goo, ow, ooh, woo, ga, ug, ga, ga, ooh, oh, woo, gag, gag, ow."

[Engines ignited, 2G's, 3G's, 4G's, 5G's, Houston, blast off successful]

"(Gulp, swallow, gulp) Well, at least I'm good at the finishing part, right, Falcon Kurk?"

"(Wheeze) The best, Lee B, Falcon jacket worthy (wheeze)."

"And I didn't need some silly invention. I mean, apparently, I needed some encouragement, but no tricks or gimmicks, so."

"(Wheeze) Yeah, Lee B, I mean, didn't I dump you or something after a basketball game too? I mean, for next weekend. Or tomorrow night. So?"

"LOL, the odds of that are better than the odds against that, Falcon Kurk."

"And is fondling and staring at a limp and spent dick your thing then, Lee B? Not that I'm complaining or anything, so (wheeze)?"

"Oh, Falcon Kurk, I was just thinking that with a bra cup from a nursing bra, two lengths of duct tape and four rubber tires from a scale model racing car, I mean, I could really set my comfort dimension then."

I mean, it's a good invention idea, folks. You poke him through the nursing bra cup, which covers all of his "ewe" hair and duct tape it in place and then slip the four miniature model car tires over him and boom, a perfect dimension for a perfect pucker kiss "helmet only" job.

And of course, I would use the rubber tires from a scale Falcon classic car model, so.

End Lee B 03