by Lost Boy
I am not one to leave a comment but this has been a long time coming. Your work on this site is some of the most well written that I ever seen, outside of publishing. Your series' should be printed and bound in fine leather, akin to the great writers of old. Please continue in your wonderful storytelling and may your tales live on longer than any of us that were given the gift of being the first to enjoy them!
I would have kept the second ending in the original story if that makes sense. Can't wait on the next chapter
I like the second ending to your story the most. Your writing always keeps me wondering, "what's coming next". I can't wait for the next part in this amazing story!
Definitely seemed cut off at the end. Including your "cuts" was the right thing. We got more - of everything. Loved it as usual. Keep writing I'll keeping enjoying. TY
You did it again .You are a true master of story telling .Thanks for another great read .
Your stories need more editing, but the chapter was awesome.
Cutting out the mile high party left story holes, like the introduction to L and the bump into the crate.
Keep going, we love it.
I liked the second ending better. It explained why Thomas touched the crate and the princess was dealt with. I can't wait for more chapters. You have a gift, keep it up. I really enjoy your story telling talent!
The alternate ending is way better than than the shorter one. Could use some editing, there is a point where it's not clear which character is being discussed as Haley (?) seems to be referred to as a Norn (?) or are you talking about L?
loved the whole series so far can't wait for the next instalment, in my opinion it would be better if you didn't just skip over scenes, so that you don't leave out information which is being used in following scenes. it isn't great for flow.
- Aaron
Definitely the second ending.
Also, what happened to his sister Serena and his father's colleague Surisa?
He also still has two more half-sisters to find, the Hollywood Dark Mage and her other victims to deal with (now that Scarlett and Robert have been healed), and then there is the mansion with the fountain to find.
Hope to see a sequel to this chapter soon...
1. Definitely the second ending, when in doubt go with the longer route, this is a wonderful series and I will hate to see it end. So the longer the chapter the better in my eyes. As well it explains a few mystery details in the short ending as a couple of other commenters stated.
2. The way you have this story set up you could easily keep it going for a lot more chapters than one or two more! Please don’t sell your talent for this story short! You have a lot of interesting plot devices to explore and I can’t wait to see how you put it all together, keep up the amazing work!! I can’t wait for the next installment!
please continue the story , there are other half-sisters out there . that dark mage is going to come gunning for him because he took two people away from her . does he go and find the others that she is using her victims ? first he should check on his mother see how she is feeling and do more studying and practice . how does he go about finding about those creatures from the museum without alarm bells going off ? what about that one lady at the beginning does show up again ?
Lovely series as usual. Personally I like a mix of the two endings. In addition I love how Bambi has evolved since she first showed up.
This chapter really spoiled it for me the first few chapters where fine but this one sucked cause I really would like to see a real mage fight and I thought I was gonna see one here
at least readers is not clueless.. but idc about them the girls especially if they are not important... please continue
There is so much more you can do with this story! Please continue the series!
I am fascinated and aroused by your stories. The story line as well as dept of plot and characters are refreshing in erotic literature. I have read nearly all of your stories and I eagerly await the next installment of this series! Keep up the excellence!
Your friendly neighborhood SoB
Longer is much better. I love all of your stories so far. Keep up the great writing.
Why would you even CONSIDER leaving the action on the plane out?
For me the extended versiod is without doubt far superior to the first version.
I really am. They're like one of those old Cecil B. DeMille epics -- you know, "WITH A CAST OF THOUSANDS!!!" LOL PLEASE Write up a Dramatis Personae with bare bones explanations of who-all everyone IS? PLEASE? PUHLEEZ!!!!!
I dunno about other folks, but I r SO confuzzed it ain't funny no more! heh
Thank you!
I sincerely love your story lines and their development. I have been a fan of yours for some time now. That said there is one tiny quirk of your writing that always distracts me in the flow of the story. I feel churlish for bringing it up but could you please stop using 'passed' interchangeably with 'past'? I guess I'm a grammar nerd but that's just me. Thanks for your great talent.
I think you should always add the extended part, it brings so much more to the story.
The first ending was confusing however the long version was explained better.
the original ending was much, much better. it was slightly confusing after just finishing the 2nd ending not going to lie but thats ok, due to how much streamlined the original was. not sure how the shape shifter fits in in the original story but that could be because i glazed over that part. i honestly forget to do anything but read. thats how captivating these are. i really feel i should be reading these on my kindle app on my phone.
Both endings were ok BUT I agree the the previous comments by Redking, the original one was by far the better one.
First ending was confusing. At a minimum, a few elements of the second should have been incorporated into the first.