tagHumor & SatireLesbian Test Ch. 06

Lesbian Test Ch. 06


"Is that what this is about?" She looked at us incredulously. "You two just want me to suck you off? You want a blowjob?" Her look made me feel small. "You two are so pathetic. This whole test was just a ruse to get me to blow you, huh?" She stared at us without speaking.

I kept my head down and remained quiet. I never felt so embarrassed. I felt she was a teacher and we were her students for something stupid that we did in class. It wouldn't be so bad if she just pulled our pants down and spanked us, but her look of disappointment in us was more painful (or exciting) than any spanking we'd receive from her.

I could feel my cock shrivel. I couldn't even look at her. I felt like the time that I was called to the principal's office because I flew a paper airplane out the window. Paper airplane, what the Hell it was no big deal, lesbian test, what the Hell, no big deal, yet I felt as embarrassed then as I did now.

"I'm sorry, Kath," was all that I could say without lifting my head to look at her.

"Look at me," she said in a stern voice. "I don't believe you two. I don't believe this whole thing was just to get me to blow you? Do I look that dumb to you? How could you disrespect me like that?"

"We're sorry, Kath," said Joe.

There was a long, uncomfortable silence. I wanted to leave but I couldn't get up and leave her room until Joe did. Only, I wanted to say something, anything to break the tension and to try and mend whatever was left of our friendship. And then she spoke again.

"You really want a blowjob?" I didn't answer her. I couldn't answer her. I didn't know if she was asking us a question or making a statement of fact. "You really want me to blow you?" Joe didn't answer her. "You devised this test as a scheme hoping that I'd want to prove to you that I wasn't a lesbian by blowing you?"

She laughed, but it wasn't a sexy laugh it was more of a crazy laugh. Nonetheless, her laugh made us laugh a little. My laugh was more of an uncomfortable laugh because I was waiting for her to unleash her anger at us and toss us out of her room. Then, when I lifted my head finally, to look at her, I felt even worse.

The way she looked at me made me feel so small and so stupid. I was so embarrassed. I hoped I hadn't ruined a friendship. I feared the anger that she was about to unleash and even though I deserved all of her rage, I was still madly in love with her. Only, I had offended her and I had pushed the boundaries of our friendship. What the Hell was I thinking when I wrote that test? I was wrong to question her sexuality, even if it was a joke. I was despicable using her good nature for the mere hope of a blowjob. I felt like such a shit.

I was still reeling from what how she answered those questions. I wondered if she was telling us the truth and if she really gave hundreds of hand jobs and at least a thousand blowjobs. I wondered if she was giving us those answers just to make us wild with lust. We didn't need her to tease us and to make us desire her any more. We were already crazy mad for her. She was one in a million. She was our shooting star that was speeding across the sky only she was disappearing out of our sight and out of our grasp. I wish there was one thing that I could say to fix what I did. Only, Joe said it.

"Yeah," said Joe. "We've both been nuts for you since forever."

At the time I didn't know what he just admitted and openly expressed would have any effect on how she felt about us, especially now. It was just a simple statement telling her how we really felt about her. I gave Joe a dirty look along with an elbow to his ribs. I figured he'd only make things worse. I couldn't believe he said that. Then, when I looked back at her again, she was smiling and looking at us endearingly. Only instead of making me feel better, her look of love and friendship made me feel even worse.

"Kath, I'm so sorry. I've been in love with you since we were kids. I've always imagined what it would be like to be with you and to kiss you. It's just that—"

"Okay," she said.

"—I've always wanted you and when I thought that I could—"

"Okay," she said again.

"What? Okay?"

"Okay," she said for the third time.

Did she just say okay? What did she mean by saying okay? Did she say okay just to stop me from talking any more and that she heard enough or did she say okay because she just agreed to blow us? Did she agree to give us a blowjob or was she talking about something else? What did she mean by saying okay? What? My brain was screaming for clarification and for more information. Only, I was afraid to ask. Here I go again getting myself in deeper by thinking that she said agreed to blow us. Nah, she wouldn't agree to blow us, would she? Even though I was afraid to question her, I did anyway. What did I have to lose?

"Okay? What do you mean exacting by saying okay?"

"I'll blow you," she said. "The both of you," she said looking from me to Joe and removing her gum.

She'll blow me. She'll blow the both of us. My brain was on fire. I didn't know what to say and what to do. What would Emily Post say and do in such an instance when your long time friend who you have lusted over for years agrees to blow you and your best friend? How should I respond to her without ruining the moment and having her change her mind?

Or is she just teasing us? Is this her silly game now that she is playing on us to get even? Is this how she plans to get back at us? Yeah, she'll probably tell us that she'll blow us, have us get naked and wait in her room. Then, she'll excuse herself for the bathroom to freshen up and then she'll return with our parents. I'd die if my Mom and Dad ever saw me naked.

"You will?" That was all that I could say. My mouth wasn't working with my brain.

"Yeah, I'll blow the both of you. I can do that. Really, I don't mind. What the Hell," she said throwing up her hands in submission. "It's just a blowjob."

Maybe it was just a blowjob to her but to us it was the second coming of Christ. For us, Christmas this year was early. We couldn't have been any more excited if we had just found out that we had won the lottery. There was nothing more we wanted than a blowjob, especially at our age, under the age of 80-year-old, other than a Shelby Mustang convertible with a case of beer in the trunk and a hot blonde riding shotgun.


"Yeah, sure. Why not? It's just a blowjob. Instead of or hopefully in addition to best friends forever, we'll be friends with benefits. There's nothing wrong with that, so long as you two understand that we're still just friends and not lovers," she said looking from me to Joe while we nodded our heads like bobble dolls. "Maybe after I suck you guys off, you'll grow up and give all this sexual shit between us a rest and we can continue to be friends."

When she tossed her hair back again with a toss of her pretty head, I had an instant erection thinking about her removing my cock from her mouth to toss her hair back before continuing with my blowjob. I couldn't wait to put a hand to the back of her head and fuck her pretty, little mouth before exploding all the cum that I had down her throat.

"Thank you, Kathy," I said.

"Thank you, Kathy," said Joe.

"Don't," she said putting up her hand. "That's the one thing that you can say and in the way that you just said it to make me not want to blow either of you. Don't act so needy for Christ's sake. Be a man. Be a confident man," she said stomping her foot and raising her voice. "I'd rather you grab me by the hair, slap me across the face, tear open my blouse, stick your cock in my mouth, and force me to blow you than to act so goddamn grateful and needy. Gees, that's so pathetic to say thank you, Kathy, when I offered to blow you."

What the Hell else was I supposed to say? Assume the position bitch. Get down on your knees. What? Only, before I could react, Joe did. Immediately, he grabbed a handful of her hand and lifted his hand high in readiness to slap her across the face.

"Don't take me so literal, Joe," she said laughing. "I meant it rhetorically when I said that I'd rather have you grab my hair, slap me across the face, tear open my blouse, stick your cock in my mouth, and force me to blow you. I really didn't mean for you to do that."

"Oh, okay," said Joe. "Sorry, Kath, I was trying to be accommodating rather than needy like Freddie, that little bitch."

"Please don't start fighting over me," she said.

When Kath turned away he stuck his tongue out at me and I gave him the finger. Oh, yeah, we were mature men alright. Then, I thought about what she said. Did she expect us to fight over her? I'll never figure women out, I swear.

"I was just trying to be a man, a manly man, a macho man, and a man's man, you know, like one of those European men that you were going on about. I am all Italian, you know," said Joe.

"I know," she said. "It's okay, Joe, just let go of my hair. That's it; loosen your grip, just a little bit more. That's right, open your fingers and spread them. Ow! Ow! My hair is caught in your ring." Kathy untangled her hair from Joe's ring. "You have quite the grip there, Joe."

"Sorry Kath," said Joe. "I didn't mean to hurt you. I guess you got me overly excited by agreeing to blow me."

"It's okay, Joe," she said with a smile. "We have a long history and if you guys need me to take care of you sexually," she said flattening down the back of her hair where Joe had messed it. "How can I turn down my best friends when I've been accommodating everyone else? It's understandable to me that you'd want me to blow you, especially after hearing me talk about all the men that I have blown."

"I don't believe this," I said to Joe giving him a high five. "If I knew it would be this easy, I would have asked her for a blowjob a long time ago."

"Don't get too cocky, Freddie, because I can always change my mind."

"Just kidding, Kath, just kidding."

"Women don't like being played," she said. "Even if the guy thinks it's his idea, women know otherwise. Women always prefer controlling the sexual encounter."

"Wow, I didn't know that about women," I said grateful for the quick lesson in how to treat women.

I wish I had a notebook to write some of this stuff down. Definitely, this would help me later in life in how to act with women whether I'm with Kathy or with someone else. I knew that I could learn so much from her. I knew that she could make me a better lover and I couldn't wait to begin my lessons.

"Well, c'mon, take off your jeans. Let me see your cocks," she said curling and wiggling her fingers with open palms up while looking from the bulge in my jeans to the bulge in Joe's jeans and back again. "Show me what you got," she said with a laugh. "I always wondered what your cocks would look like. I've always wondered if you guys were circumcised or cut."

"Really? You've wondered about our cocks," said Joe.

"It's just normal curiosity, Joe, especially whenever I was over your houses and up in your bedroom while you were still in your pajama bottoms. Yeah, I wondered what your cocks would look like." She laughed, "There's been more than a few times I gave a glanced at your obvious erections that were hidden in your jeans."

I couldn't believe she wondered about my cock. I imagined her fantasizing over my cock. I imagined her masturbating to the sight of my cock.

"So," I said. "Did you think of our cocks when you were taking a bath?"

"If you are asking me if I masturbated over your cocks, you could imagine that I did, if that gets you sexually excited," she said with her famous sexy smile. Even though I figured that she didn't fantasize and masturbate over my cock, it was exciting to think that she had.

"Unlike Freddie, I don't need that thought to get sexually excited over you," said Joe. "I'm already excited."

Before I could even unbuckle and unzip my pants, Joe already had his pants down around his ankles and was stepping out of them while pulling down his boxers. He had a bigger cock then me. It must be an Italian thing. He was all Italian and I was only half. Still, what I lacked in girth, I had more than he did in length.



"Can you get topless? I like feeling tits when I'm getting a blowjob," I said while unbuckling my pants and unzipping them. "Besides, I've always lusted, dreamt, and fantasized over seeing and touching your tits."

"Okay," she said unbuttoning her blouse.

Someone pinch me. I must be dreaming. I couldn't believe she said okay. I couldn't believe she was taking off her blouse.

"Thank you," I said. "Sorry," I said when she shot me a look. I was sounding needy again.

"Only, you have to promise that you can't suck my tits 'cause that really gets me going. I don't mind blowing you, but fucking you is different and if you start sucking my nipples, then I'll be a wild woman."

I would have promised her anything at that point just to get a gander and a feel of her magnificent breasts, breasts that I have dreamt about ever since she had breasts, while she blew me.

"Scouts honor," I said. "I cross my heart and hope to die. Should lightning strike me dead if I suck on your nipple—"

"Okay, okay, enough, you're giving me a headache and that's not a good thing if you want me to still blow you."

I wanted to say sorry, but I didn't.

"Stuff it, bitch." Fuck! I couldn't believe I said that. It just came out of my mouth.

"Freddie," she said shooting me a dirty look. "You're pushing your luck."

Shit. Well, she wanted me to act like a man and suddenly, I was a Hell's Angel biker. Then, I thought, well, why is she telling us all this information about what turns her on and what makes her wild? Either she was telling us this because she didn't want us to turn her into a wild woman by sucking her tits or she was telling us this because she wanted us to suck her tits and turn her into a wild woman.

That's the thing that makes me crazy with women. How do you know what they want when they say exactly what they want and you think that they are saying the opposite of what they want because of all the times they have been saying the opposite of what they want when you think they have been saying what they want? Yeah, if you think you're confused, how do you think I feel now not knowing if she wants me to suck her nipples or not. Now what?

"We promise not to suck your nipples," said Joe. He gave me the John Belushi one eyebrow up look. I was glad that Joe had her figured out because I didn't have a clue.

I watched her unbutton her blouse to reveal a pale yellow bra. Then, she stood and unzipped her skirt. My cock grew harder with the site of her standing there in her bra and panty. I can't tell you how many times I dreamt of seeing her in her bra and panty. I can't tell you how many scenarios I imagined while jerking off over her standing in her bra and panty. Now, here she is standing before me in her bra and panty.

She had an athletic body and a better body than I had imagined. Her stomach was flat and toned and her thighs were shapely. The sunlight from the window behind her illuminated the opening at the top of her thighs where the cotton material of her panty covered her perfect pussy. The light that flowed between her legs promised whoever removed her panty not only a sexual experience but also a religious experience. Suddenly, I heard music and I knew the angels had come down from Heaven to bless this sexual experience that I was about to—

"It's my Mom," said Joe answering his cell phone. I have to go. Fuck! Do you believe this? She has perfect timing."

I was glad that Joe was leaving but nervous at the same time. He was my buffer. Now, I'd be alone with the man magnet, the sexy siren, the more sexual experienced women, my dream woman, Kathy.

"It's okay, Joe," she said walking to him and giving him a long, wet kiss while her hand felt the weight of his fat cock. She leaned down and gave the head of his cock a kiss and a lick. "I owe you a blowjob."

She made me swoon with envy when she kissed him. She made me jealous with desire for her when she kissed and licked his cock. She made Joe so excited that when he went to pull his pants up and zip them, he nearly caught his cock in his zipper.

"Gees, that was close," he said.

"Do you want me to go? Should I leave," I said with my pants around my knees, as I watched Joe leave her bedroom and closing the door behind him.

Why did I just ask that? What the Hell is wrong with me? Do you want me to go? What the Hell is wrong with you asking her that? I couldn't believe I said that to her.

"How am I going to blow you if you leave," she said with a sexy smile.

Well, I was glad that she had sense enough to make light of my dumb question.

"You make a good point and have convinced me to stay," I said with a nervous laugh.

"Show me your cock. I want to see it," she said staring down at the bulge in my briefs.

"Okay, yeah, sure," I was so nervous. I had waited years for this day and here it was.

I nearly fell trying to kick my feet out of my pant legs without taking my sneakers off first. Then, I nearly got a cramp in my calf when I pulled my foot too hard. Finally, I was free from my pants and I accommodated her by pulling down my briefs to reveal my stiff erection that stood straight out. I mean, it was so stiff that I could have hung wet laundry on it to dry.

"It's beautiful," she said staring at it. "You have a beautiful cock, Freddie, and I can't wait to suck it. I can't wait to taste your warm cum and swallow you," she said making eye contact. "Only, if you don't mind, before I blow you, I'd like to show you my tits, first."

"Mind? Nah, I don't mind. Sure, yeah, I'd love to see your tits...first," I said laughing. "Tits should always be seen before receiving a blowjob."

Shut the fuck up, I said to myself. You're going to ruin everything. Tits should always be seen before receiving a blowjob. Where did you come up with that shit? What's wrong with you? Just stop talking and enjoy the moment. Okay? My mind was whirling.

In the way that she looked at me, I wondered if she was going to get naked. Then, when she reached her hands around behind her and unhooked her bra, I didn't, I couldn't breathe. As if in slow motion, I watched her lower the straps from her shoulders, first one and then the other. As if she was doing a mini striptease, she held her bra in place with a hand to her cups while flashing me a sexy look. Then, she peeled her bra down before pulling it completely off.

"Okay," I said giving Joe the official John Belushi one eyebrow up from Animal House, only I was so nervous that forgot he had already left. He was no longer there. He was gone and I was alone with Kathy in her room while she was topless and in her tiny, sheer bikini panty and I was bottomless with my cock sticking straight out and as hard as it has ever been. Once I had the chance, I knew that I'd be sucking her tits and fucking her, too. Her tits were amazing. Symmetrically perfect, although the right one was just a wee bit bigger and higher up than the left one, but who cares. Her big nipples were already erect and I couldn't wait to suck them. Only, I couldn't wait to kiss her first.

Definitely, she passed the test. Definitely, she wasn't a lesbian.

In the next chapter Freddie finally gets his dream woman.


Thank you for reading my story. I sincerely hope you enjoyed it. Please take a moment to vote, make a public comment, and/or give me feedback. Your support is why I write. Your feedback will motivate me to write a better story the next time.

If you haven't already, please take moment to add me and/or this story or any other of my stories to your list of favorites. Thanks, Freddie, Bostonfictionwriter.

To be continued...

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