All Comments on 'Let Go'

great story do some more like it

9 pages! ! ! . You long winded .chop this shit down to 5 . I guess it was OK . I bored of it at page 4 .

The beginning of the story is excellent, setting up the scenario with a clear conflict, interesting main characters, enough secondary characters to help clarify action, add dialogue, and be catalysts.

The development of the story is well done, with logical steps toward the reunion. Addition of an 18 year old and a 4 year old is a bit of stretch, but what the heck -- it's fantasy and they help show some complications in the reunion.

The last parts of the story (which I label as everything after the reunion and recognition of the need for counseling) was a mash-up of characters, random moments in their lives, unneeded resurrection of minor characters, and "happily ever after" moments that piled on gooey frosting. The low-light of it was visits to five countries (or was it seven?), deciding one was best, and buying a big house where they all could vacation. In a paragraph or two.

Overall, the time reading was fine and I gave it 5 starts -- but it isn't up to the usual levels of qhml1 or the named editors.

Always a treat, reading your efforts.

Great writing. You tell tales like no other. I’m sorry that the editing has interfered with readers’ enjoyment.

The editing mistakes are actually completely MINE and I take full responsibility. My apologies to the readers, and I am really sorry to both Randi and Q. We will fix and make it perfect.

You're on of my favorite authors but I have rather mixed reactions to this one.

On the positive side, I enjoyed the story generally. I liked the protagonist switching from someone who was willing to be a bit of a doormat to get along with an overly-driven wife into someone who stood up for himself; that worked. I liked the side story of Marsha and Ari; that worked really well. I especially liked Sal and Susan as characters.

On the down side: while I could ignore most of the editing mistakes, the switching from third person to first person within a single sentence was just too jarring. Everyone misses things but it happened too often here. I can only assume that you originally wrote it in first person and then changed it after the "final" proofread. It didn't ruin the story but it can't be a five star offering for me. A five star story needs to immerse you and not kick you out of it periodically with, "Huh?"

I also have the same problem with this story that I had with BigGuy33's story: it's just not plausible that a corporate officer...especially an extremely senior one (CEO or Divisional Manager)...would ever fire someone over performance without at least minimal due process. There are too many policies, mandatory compliance trainings, HR signatures required, legal officer oversight, etc. in the mix because every corporation of any size is afraid of exactly the consequences that happened in this story. The version of this tale that will eventually really work is one in which the author figures out how to get around this, not just ignores it.

Interesting take on this subset of the genre. Nice storyline and interesting characters. Enough has been said about the lack of editing. Honestly, I missed a lot of that but tense and pronouns tend to jump out at me. I just read through it. Hell folks, I had a great story to read!

Love your work man.

I didn't find much in the way of real emotional drama between Dave and Bev. Although nominally in the "wife ceo fires husband" category, it actually reminded me of "A Little Bit of Death" by Slirpuff.

Blackrandl1958,

Don't be to hard on yourself, although the errors should have jumped out at you.

As a professional editor I will say that there really isn't an excuse. Slow down on the next edit and read it more carefully. Another good story from Q.

I was afraid it was just a retelling of BG33's story but it broke away and found it's own path. Nice story.

The first part was like many I have read here before.

But you took it in a totally different direction and it was very refreshing.

Is it totally realistic? Come on guys, this is a fantasy site.

Is it perfectly edited? I don't see anyone ponying up $17.99 for the hard cover edition. Hell I find typos in Tom Clancy novels!

I give it five stars if nothing else but for the original twist on a well duplicated story line.

What editing? It jumps all over in tense and person. Big disappointment.

A good beginning. I thought it could go somewhere but instead it got stuck in a load of sticky , syrupy mush.

The funny thing is when I come here, I look for things that turn me on. This was well worth the time....I can tell friends I just read a great short story. paz.

Yeah, this is a great improvement on BG33's original, the fatal flaw of which was that it was clearly a description of the white-collar workplace by someone who has had a long and accomplished career of washing dishes in a restaurant kitchen.

Q is pure talent and a wonder to read. How rare is it for one writer to own the HOF top spot in three different categories? That is how good this man is.

So far as editing goes, I am certainly responsible for all errors and willingly take the blame. My apologies for each and every mistake. Sometimes you hit a home run, sometimes you ground into a double-play.

@twentyseven: No, the ladies are just fine being referred to as "smart and lovely." The accuracy is dubious, so far as I am concerned, but the sentiment is both complimentary and pleasing to us. Those of us who know Q are aware of his sincerity and that he is a gentleman, in every sense of the word. Don't presume to be offended on our account.

Q, five stars from me, and thank you for sharing your wonderful talent. Randi.

The beginning of this story is strikingly similar to Big Guy 33's story "You're fired," right down to use of Big Guy's best line.

From "You're Fired":

"Mr. Weston, you forgot this picture of your wife," Vic called to my back as I walked toward the door.

"No, I didn't," I responded without a look back.

From "Let Go":

"You forgot this, Mr. Waxman," he said, handing Dave the expensive pen and pencil set she had given him when he made Salesman Of The Year the first time. Dave looked at it for a second and dropped it in the wastebasket with her picture.

"No, I didn't"

Other than the beginning, an enjoyable original story. Finally, as others have pointed out, embarrassingly edited. --JRZ

As a writer, beta reader and sometime editor, I have to say that things slip through.I have a story that I have read through several times, and each time I find an error that I missed on a prior read.

Even the best editors here (and I am NOT including myself), are volunteering their time to assist others. They get no compensation except for the satisfaction of helping others.

Editing is NOT their job. They have REAL jobs, families, hobbies, and their own writing.

I'd be willing to bet that even professional editors occasionally miss things, though I would imagine they are few and far between or they would no longer be professional editors!

Maybe before casting stones you should try volunteering your editing skills rather than Monday morning quarterbacking. I say that as someone who did my share of that, so I mean no disrespect. Editing is hard, particularly with a good story, where I often find that I have read a page and was so into the story that I forgot to look for errors!

Read this originally on SOL. Bloody good tale.

Keep them coming please.

Considering how the editing turned out, that introduction may have unintentionally done more to disparage the skills of the women who contribute here more than the misogynists that troll the comments section.

Also, 5 stars. It's always nice to see a new story from on of the greats here.

like Square, rectangles, trapezoid or PENTEGRAMS". TK U MLJ LV NV

I think you need a new editor because who ever edited this story must have left school during low school. Some of the errors are glaring others just plain bad English. I think you should look for a new editor, honestly.

wilky1.

Are we back in the Fifties and no-one told me? I presume you mean some intelligent women edited this? And were they gagging as they did so?

I thought: "How in the heck could Q resolve this one?"

And then he did, in truly fantastic style!

There was skulduggery, a broken marriage, but then a resolve that really worked and tugged at the heartstrings.

Well done, a very good story.

Read this on the other site, glad to be able to comment.

The one problem I had with both stories is the husband, a former top performer, being fired with not one meeting with his manager that his performance wasn't up to par, and given a chance to improve.

I realize that the plot required that we have hubby get fired by the wife, and I can suspend disbelief to get to that point, but both stories would have benefited by having husband being warned and blowing off the warnings. Would make wife much more sympathetic, less of a bitch.

at the top of LW. Cucksters and BtBers need to read this and learn. Q does not have to whine and complain about his score. Why is that? He wrote a good story! He didn't murder people and no cream pies were consumed. In place of those usual clever devices, he decided to use plot and characterization. Imagine that! Q rules Lit because of his talent. We are all in his debt for his generosity. Thanks, Q!

Did you you mess with it after it was edited? There are some POV and personal pronoun problems early on. Some clumsy sentences too. The tale is great but the telling is not up to your usual standard.

I haven't even finished the first page yet, but after that introductory remark, I had to stop reading to comment that this story is TERRIBLY edited. Examples of mistakes include "he" at the beginning of the third sentence (which obviously should have been capitalized), "You're" at the beginning of the second paragraph (the word is intended to show possession (i.e., "Your"); it should not be a contraction of "You" and "are"), and the missing word "her" in the sentence "It seemed to upset [her] that he didn't comment.". Next time please get a GOOD editor, instead of "lovely" ones.

Thanks for sharing.

When a story is excellent, what can we say? Just: Thank you! 5*

Because I know I've read this before. Not a bad thing, since this is hands down the best thing posted here in at least the last month, but it's definitely a repost.

Rights. Not enough coffee yet. And it's too early for bourbon.

That is, of course, what we can always expect from qhm1. Nobody rights human interaction better.

Hi,

good story, but: the word ‘my’ was used in various places where it should have been ‘his’ or ‘her’. Also, ‘our’ was used where it should have been ‘their’. Sorry for being a perfectionist.

This is an example of how good you are at storytelling. The best in this series so far IMHO.

There are a few minor quibbles on grammar and spelling but that doesn't detract much when the writing is this good.

You know you're making the " ledgent writer's " jealous right😃👍

Thank you

Thats a very entertaining story, It seems you just keep typing out excellent stories one after the other. Thank you

Ok so it was just a little sweet. What a pleasant vacation from all the revenge offerings. Though there was a little gengesnce here also. Glad it posted to loving wives never would have caught it in romance. Thank you for sharing your Talent.

I tried to write a "boss wife fires husband" story years ago and never submitted it. I'm glad I never did, because on Lit the genre is burned after this one.

No. That was a paint-by-numbers wrongful termination that was absolutely predictable in its outcome. The nonsense comes from the fact that upper management doesn't fire people, HR does and they do it solely to prevent lawsuits. A real CEO would know that, but this is Q's story and it needed the drama or we couldn't complain about it not being in romance.

That being said, it really belongs in romance.

The writing style is significantly different than many of your other stories. I especially oriceran that in dozens of sentences, you would go from 1st person to 3rd person during dialogue. Just curious.

everyone keeps mentioning the Matt Moreau tale. Which one was it

Good storytelling, not quite at 'Summer by the lake' level, but damned good! Thank you.

You have no reason to care about my opinion, but I'm going to say the same thing to you that I said to Todd172. You can either be prolific or you can be exceedingly talented.

Choose one. You're making other writers look bad. You've got some damned nerve producing this quality of work so frequently. Sheesh.

Five stars, of course.

Within two pages, you devastated a woman who did what she thought was right, even if it wasn't and the revenge her husband exacted upon her outweighed her actions.

The only thing it showed was that he wanted his pound of flesh and given the opportunity, took it. If he was allowed to be resentful and justified in assassinating her career, then why wasn't she justified in her acting? Why wasn't she allowed to be hurt, and angry and bitter? Why was he the paragon of virtue in this story we all did was beat her at her own game?

Frankly, neither one of them were worth marrying or remaining married. Because he never once apologized. He never once accepted his responsibility or part in what should have been the dissolution of her career and their marriage.

She deserved better.

Damn, that was good!! Although 38 isn’t considered very old to have a baby. 48, yes. But not 38. I have two sisters-in-law and about 20-25 friends who have had babies after 38. But story was awesome regardless!

All the drama, angst, pain, confrontation, remorse and, adorable girls. Yes! Bravo, sir, you have done it again.

This is what a LW story is supposed to be. Five stars.