Let Your Conscience be Your Guide

I'm Janet Wilson, I have been married to a wonderful man for the last twenty years. We have two grown children, my son is in the navy and my daughter is off to university. I just turned 40 six months ago, I was still adjusting to that. My husband James has been very supportive of me over the years. He helped put me through school to get my accounting degree. He even moved us to be closer to my work, which lengthen his commute significantly.

Not only that, but he was a great lover, and we still enjoyed great sex after twenty years. We shared our fantasies and experimented sexually. The only fantasy I didn't share was my desire to have sex with a black man. I was afraid to share it because it turned me on so bad. I managed to live with it quite well over the years, then John joined our firm.

He was the most beautiful man I have ever seen, tall handsome, charming. When we were introduced, I felt myself flush. His eyes seem to penetrate my soul, his smile made my knees' weak. After our initial introduction I tried to avoid him around the office, and when I did see him, I tried not to stare. He stopped by my desk one morning and invited me to lunch, I knew better, but I said yes. We had a quiet lunch, and he was very charming.

"We are going to do it, you know."

I flushed, "what do you mean."

His eyes bored into mine, "I've seen you staring, and I know the look I'm seeing now."

I was getting wet just sitting there, "I'm a married woman."

"That just makes it that much more exciting."

I blushed and squirmed in my seat.

"You have a birthday coming up in a week and a half, we are going on a date. And when I say date, you know what I mean."

" But my husband."

"I understand your husband denies you nothing, just tell him you're going on a date, and you need his support."

The following week, James noticed that I was distracted and asked if I was ok. Of course, I told him I was, then Thursday rolled around.

"Hey Jan, your birthday is Saturday, what do you want to do?"

I hesitated for a few moments then bolstered my courage, "James, I have a date for my birthday."

"A date with a woman, a man, what?"

"A man."

He looked stunned, "fine, go have dinner, be home early."

"James, I won't be home till Sunday."

"An audible gasp, you're going to spend the night?"

"Yes dear, It's something I must do, and I know I can always count on your support."

He had a strange look in his eyes, "well dear you have to let your conscience be your guide."

That Friday night we made wild passionate love, I have never seen such intensity from James, I just assumed he was excited for me. Saturday morning he was already up and gone by the time I got up. I went into the kitchen, no birthday card and candies like usual. I assumed he was out with his golf buddies, I was a little hurt.

I dressed as sexy as I could for my date, my skirt was split right up yo the bottom edge of my stockings, I wasn't wearing panties or bra. I notice the jiggle of my breasts every time I moved. James still wasn't home, I answered the door, John looked magnificent he grabbed and kissed me deeply grabbing both my ass cheeks, all thought of James left my mind. He walked me to the car, his hand still on my ass, so brazen I worried about the neighbors for a fleeting second.

Dinner was lovely, he was very charming, but he had said not a word about how I looked.

"Well, you want to go dancing or get right to it?"

"Let's go to the room" I told him.

As soon as I entered the room, I heard him behind me "strip."

Surprised, where was the charm, the romance?

"We came here to fuck let's get to it."

I had dropped my dress, I was naked except for stocking and garter belt.

He grabbed me by the back of my neck, forcing me to bend over, and entered me from behind.

"What, hey, stop not like this."

"Shut the fuck up cunt you haven't seen anything yet."

I squirmed and struggled, this was very uncomfortable. "Yeah bitch that's how I like it."

I started to sob, "Too late to cry now, cunt."

I felt him pump his load deep inside me. He threw me on the bed face up and straddled my chest, pressing his cock against my lips, I tried to tell him I didn't do that as he jammed it in my mouth. I had my mouth full of his cock with my pussy fluid and his ejaculate all over it. He began to slowly fuck my mouth, It seemed to go on forever, suddenly I tasted a flood of pre-cum. Alarm bells went off, he was going to cum in my mouth. I bucked, squirmed and struggled in vain as he unloaded in my mouth. It was the most disgusting experience of my life. He held me in place, so I had to swallow.

He got off me, I lay there gasping before running into the bathroom to throw up. When I came out of the bathroom, I reached for my clothes.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going home."

"Like hell you are throwing my face down on the bed, He straddled my hips and began to probe my ass with his finger again I tried to tell him I didn't do that and a wash cloth was jammed in my mouth. I felt a cool slippery liquid being applied to my ass, I realized I was going to be fucked in the ass. I felt his cock being pressed against my ass with greater and greater pressure, it hurt like hell, I felt it pop in.

He began to slow fuck my ass, It was the first time that night I felt any arousal, as it went deeper and deeper I found myself urging him on, "oh yes, fuck me in the ass." he finally pulled out. I had a few orgasms before he came in my ass.

He went into the bathroom and washed off then dressed, he looked at me, you sure are a lousy fuck and walked out the door. I lay there and wept myself to sleep.

I got up early, cleaned up and went home.

When I entered the house, I knew something was wrong. I went upstairs to change, James wasn't there. I changed and went down to the kitchen. His house keys and wedding band were on the table. What had I done, had I thrown out a fantastic marriage for the worst sex of my life? I tried calling several times and got no response. The house seems so empty, I was afraid I would have to get used to the feeling. I got ready for work the next morning, hoping James would call or come home. When I e3ntere the office building, one of the black security guards motioned me over and leaned close.

'"John said you like black cock and like it in the ass, anytime, sweetie."

OMG I rushed past head down in shame, I could hear the laughter behind me. I went to my desk and cried. It took a while, but I finally got to work. Later in the day, I was called in to Mr. Daniel's office.

"Mrs Wilson, there are some very disturbing stories going around about you and one of the other firm members. He confirmed the stories, as a result, I am afraid I will have to let you go. He called in his assistant. Emily, will escort you to your desk and out of the building."

Humiliated, marched out of the building. Looking back at the building, one more thing I destroyed for a lousy fuck. I did the only thing I could do, I called Mom and pleaded to come home.

I knew mom would take me in, I also knew she would be brutally honest.

"Mom, I sobbed, he left me."

"Tell me the whole story, Janet, even the ugly parts."

I told her the whole sordid story, ending with "he said I could."

"Tell me what the words were that gave you permission."

"He told me let my conscience be my guide."

"Oh, Janet, you demonstrated you didn't have a conscience."

"The timing was perfect, my 41st birthday the perfect man I just couldn't resist. I had no idea he was such a savage brute."

"So, you envisioned a romantic evening being fucked by a large black cock, that's what all this is about?"

"Yes" I sobbed.

"For this, you destroyed a fantastic marriage and gave up a wonderful husband and lost a great Job. I feel so bad it wasn't worth it for you, dear, I'm a little disgusted with you right now, but I still love you.".

I was served the next day and went and hired a lawyer and had him contact Jame's lawyer for a meeting.

I arrived early at the meeting, I was hoping against hope that we could mend things. Both children were brought up to speed, My son still talked to me, my daughter wanted nothing to do with me. The hits just keep coming. James walked in. it brought instant tears to my eyes.

"Well you wanted to talk so talk."

"James, I won't make any excuses, I'm so sorry, can we ever get back together?"

"Janet, I trusted and loved you above all others. My confidence in you was so strong that when I told you let your conscience be your guide, that you would never allow yourself to go through with your plan. All that has been shattered, I can never trust you again, and I have lost all confidence you will do the right thing. So, no, we won't get back together. I will always cherish our 20 years together, but I'm done."

That kind of wraps it up. I saw James one more time at the signing of the final papers. We sold the house and I moved to an apartment, my son visits whenever he can. It's been two years and my daughter still won't talk to me. With my skill set, I quickly found another job. With some counseling, I realize I had been stereotyping black men, and that led to my fall from grace.

I'm wiser and smarter now and heading into a new life I think I have developed one, so I will let my conscience be my guide.