by Hunter_C
I was hoping he would show some balls in the story, but you had already cut them off
If he won't stand up for himself, he deserves every thing he gets.
One the other hand I think you might be describing yourself, you sorry sick fly turd.
Plan and simple, since you don't, have the balls, tell you wife, and lover boys sister, I am coming for them, to take them to slavery.
you need more help than grammar and spelling. What kind of sick fucker writes this sort of crap. I don't care if you win a Pulitizer prize for literature, I'll never read any of your crap again.
BTW the time spent in the "back room" at the salon and screams made it entirely unbelievable.
Welcome aboard. Join the rest of the cuck writers who made "loving wives" into a sewer. We can only be thankful that there are still a few good writers who post to this category, otherwise they wouldn't be anybody left to read. 1* for adding this trash to loving wives.
What a Crappy story. The writing was O K but the story line sucked.
Heading down the road sounds pretty good. He should have changed the locks and commenced divorce proceedings upon receipt of the letter. Then sued the shit for stealing his tickets (they have a value while his slut wife doesn't)
but it needs just a little bit of work in the grammar department to make it even better.
The descriptions are nice, and you work well at building it up and suspense, rather than just "jumping right in" like some other authors do. The guy here actually /works/ on building up his seduction.
Having her new lover go on the anniversary vacation instead was also a nice twist. I liked that the sister approved.
However, as far as grammar goes, having both characters talk in the same paragraph/block of text is confusing at times. Try to separate the dialogue from the rest of the descriptions and text, by having the dialogue start as a new paragraph, and keep the dialogue separate when a new character starts to talk as well.
I'd also like to see them put down and degrade the husband verbally more, but that's just me.
Other than that, it's a good start and I hope you write more stories soon!
What? he's still with her after she cheats like that? he's a fucking wimp and deserves his skank of a wife- I would BTB!
Once more, I wonder where all the red-blooded husbands are?
...and I don't want to discourage you from trying again but next time you absolutely must usean editor.
Willing to raise another man's baby? Really? Is there any chance that you could make this a realistic scenario? Not for any standard adult male.
You need help in grammar and in meanings of words. How did this one ever get passed you: "I pulled up a seat at her head and resumed my menstruations."
You one of the worse new writers to show up recently
You get a # 1 for taking the time to post
The ultimatum should have ended the marriage...maybe if they discussed opening it up it would be different, but once she gave him the " get on board or head down the road" it was time to head down the road....marriage isn't one spouse dictating to the other the direction the marriage will go...So the ending for me was really really disappointing.