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Dear Literotica authors that I have had the honour of editing,
It has come to my attention that it is not grammatically incorrect to start a proper sentence with the words: but, and, because, as well as a few others that I have not had a problem with, personally. I wish to offer my sincere apologies, if I was at all condescending in my judgement of your use of any of these words; I am sorry.
Henceforth, I will endeavour to refrain from using a semi-colon to replace that period at the end of the sentence, thus leaving the following sentence to start with the word, 'But'. It will be difficult, as after three consecutive years of Grade 12 English will attest to, my teachers bore into us that this was a practice that should not be practised.
However, as new knowledge is gained, and one fully accepts that the times are 'a changing'; so too, must one who proofreads and copy edits erotica, change with those same times.
"... as his hard cock pummelled into his mother's pliant cunt, he almost came from just the realization of his dream. But, he could not deny his mother an orgasm while coupled, as she raised her son to always be a gentleman when in a lady's company. And while her advice was not necessarily meant for when he was forcefully fucking her tight, wet pussy, and fingering her engorged nub of a clitoris; it only made sense, that this would be one of those times. Because he remembered her important lesson, he was able to make her scream incoherently as she climaxed, right before his mother's son came inside her ..."
But, (see what I am doing here) there is one thing that I will continue to advocate for, and that is the use of the word, 'okay'. I emphasize the term, 'word', as it is that, a word. Not an abbreviation, 'O.K.' or 'OK' (which historically, is the origin of the word, an abbreviation for 'oll korrect' as it first appeared in print in The Boston Morning Post on March 23, 1839), or the butchered variation of said abbreviation, 'Ok'.
My reason for wanting to use the word spelled out is somewhat frivolous, as I just think it does not devalue the text written. This, I believe, contributed to the start of the demise of the English language, as it is only two characters long, halving the number of letters of the entire word, which became crucial when messaging, or posting nonsensical jibberish on Twitter. [As an aside, the word 'text' as I have used here, is to mean 'the main body of a book or other piece of writing, as distinct from other material such as notes, appendices, and illustrations;' and does not refer to the shortening of the term 'text message'.]
Also, as I am finding when writing and editing erotica, the inclusion of the letter, 'a' in the word provides the opportunity to accentuate an ecstatic moan of a female protagonist, in the sense of:
"... lick me, lick Mommy's pussy. My clit, oh yes, there ... "
"Is this the right way, Mom? Am I doing it okay?"
"Oh, you ... you're ... okaaaaay ..."
This visual expression cannot be achieved with 'OK'. 'OOOOOK' or 'OKKKKK' does not evoke the same imagery.
One of the stories I have edited, tried to use the multiple 'K' version; but I deleted it immediately, and replaced it with 'okaaaaay', not mentioning any of this to the first time writer in my notes. While I may have a reputation of being a vicious proofreader, I do not want my overzealousness to be the reason a promising writer decides not to submit their story for publication. Thankfully, the aforementioned writer overcame, or did not notice, my brutal deletion; and their story was published a few days later.
Editing your stories has been a revelation to me; I have sincerely enjoyed, and have been envious of, your collective talent with the written word.
Thank you for entrusting your stories with me, as I hope that I have returned that trust with an adequate job of proofreading and copy editing.
I look forward to being able to proofread new stories from you in the future.
Best regards,
Kenji Sato
Proofreader, Practising copy editor, Aspiring editor
Postscript:
Having counted the words in this letter, I see that I am short of the Literotica minimum of 750 words needed for publication. So, rather than going back and embellishing what I have already written, I thought that I would use this opportunity to ask you authors which common word do you use to refer to the biological response known as 'orgasm'? Is it 'come' or 'cum'? I have seen both words used by many Lit authors, whether they have hundreds of stories, or have just completed their first. I thought that 'come' was the proper word for this culmination of the sexual act, but have come to understand that 'cum' is also a proper word, and not just a slang phonetic (It is in Merriam-Webster, well at least, merriam-webster.com). While the former resonates with me more, it does create some confusion, as when it is written, "my little sister, Megumi, is coming soon," does it just mean that my younger sibling, Megumi, will arrive shortly; or ... well, you know ...
- COMMENTS
Mr_Bradyabout 2 years agoKenji I have had the pleasure of witnessing your great editing skills firsthand. Your attention to detail has definitely helped in my stories. Presently I’m working on getting them on Literotica.
Hopefully soon, I’ll be sending you something new that I’ve written.
Thanks for what you do my friend.
Mr_Brady 😉👍
DesirableReveriesover 2 years agoWell written. I like to use 'come' as an alternative word for orgasm, and use 'cum' as an alternative word for sperm or ejaculation. So when I am writing my stories, as an example, if my character is about to orgasm, I will write it out as "I am going to come," or "I'm coming."
The word cum will only exist if it is necessary in describing the physical evidence of ejaculation. "A drip of cum on the tip of his cock" or "my chest was sprayed with his thick ropes of cum."
I hope this helps!
dmallordover 2 years agoThank you, for your recent editing services. I appreciate your keen eye for details. I missed far more than I thought you could have found. Your work improved the presentation very well. The article is pending approval with Laurel as I write this.
I will definitely ask for your editing on my next story!
Thanks, Kenjisato!
dmallordover 2 years agoOk! So ... It looks like you are attuned to non-USA English and are on the formalized side of writing according to the tone I am detecting in your missive. Okay, so ... that's alright - totally acceptable approach to editing. But, if I send a story and you decide to edit it - would it be American English - as that is my native language?
You remarked, "It will be difficult, as after three consecutive years of Grade 12 English will attest to, my teachers bore into us that this was a practice that should not be practised." This line was a bit jarring for me to comprehend. Do you spend three years in Grade 12 English class - in that you needed those three repetitions to master it? ;-)
My stories could benefit by having an editor, according to at least two comments on my published work at Literotica.com. I just found another one or two errors in my humor/satire published story 'Life is Like Shit - Not Chocolate.' I must have combed that document dozens of times - well at least a baker's dozen - before I submitted it. Yet, there they are! It would seem I could benefit by some 'practise' with an editor before submissions.
I've never worked with anyone on editing my work. My writings are relaxed in tenor and style. But, I'm willing to give it a try. You might have a look at one of my shorter writings and see if my style and subject matter would be a good fit for your editing skills.
[Did I get enough of those ok, OK, Okay, but, and So in my document to tease you?]
As for: cum or come - That's a writer's call. I believe, as long as they are consistent, that shouldn't be an editor's area of consideration. It is in that phonetic/ linguistic category of po-ta-to and PO-tah-toe or which end of an egg should be cracked.
irb434over 2 years agoDear Master Sato.
My main language is UK English.
I would strongly defend your use of the words 'but', 'and' and 'because' as per your example above. It is quite legitimate to use these words at the beginning of a sentence in the context of re-inforcing or contrasting what went immediately before. What drives me to distraction however, is the current trend in the UK to begin sentences with the word 'so'. It frequently crops up in News stories. Example "So, currently there are 3000 cases of Covid per day but we hope to see a gradual reduction by next week." The word 'so' is redundant in this instance. The use of 'but' at the beginning of a sentence could be used in that example where, by continuing, the interviewee might add; 'But we are also aware of factors outwith our control'. It would be grammatically clumsy to use two 'buts' in the same sentence. Similarly another response could be 'Because there are facors outwith our control, we remain vigilant.' The use of 'because' to begin that sentence would be allowable.
There is a part of the film "Finding Forrester" where the main charcter, Jamal Wallace, explains the modern way of using words as you have exampled. Okay, it is only a film but like it or not the truth of that scene is inescapable.
LingeringAfterthoughtalmost 3 years agoDear Master Sato,
I am not one to whom you have addressed this missive, being someone who has not engaged editors other than occasions where the reviewers are refusing to publish my smut for reasons that , other than due to a complete lack of reading comprehension, baffle me. I also have authority issues, so if I were to engage such a professional as yourself, it would probably be only for the profound pleasure of deciding you're wrong about everything and doing just as I wanted in the first place.
Be that as it may, I find this to be a fine piece of ironic erotic literature! The combination of grammar analysis, when applied to snippets of erotica out of context, tickles me with its perversity and strangeness. Bravo!
Here's my take on the rock-paper-scissors of "come," "cum," and "orgasm" - ready?
Come: I like using this one in place of the verb "orgasm." It is not too crude and I tend toward the character-driven romantic, funny stuff. But, like you said (see what I did there?), context is important.
Cum: This one I like to use for the noun/product of "orgasm." Male, or female, this one screams "sticky fluid of happiness" to me.
Orgasm: This word... I don't know. I see this word, and my brain says "organ," which could be evocative, but I grew up in old churches, so it ends up with the wrong imagery. My brain also says "organism" and "gas," neither of which you want to be thinking about when climbing to the heights of erotic satisfaction. Well, maybe you do, I don't want to assume. There's a lot of different-flavored erotica out there and I don't want to judge.
Other options I've seen: "spent" (vaguely evocative of fatigue or a monetary transaction), "flower" (exclusively used in the female sense, but imagining it in the male sense makes me giggle, so I do it for a laugh sometimes), "climax" (totally don't imagine myself doing this in the air-conditioned IMAX theaters), "squirt" (don't think of the soda, don't think of the soda, don't think--), "peak" (also contextually difficult: "She peeked and thought he looked rather peaked after he peaked, disappointing her hopes for round two.")
So, those are my thoughts. Edit them as you will.
Thank you for raising this important issue!
LingeringAfterthought
