Letters from an Angel

Hanna ducked her head between her shoulders and shuffled toward Theodore. She snatched the letter from his hand and moved on to the lectern. She scanned the letter and her skin paled even further. "I can't read this."

This time Theodore couldn't hold back his daughter, she jumped up and said "Read it. This very second."

Hanna shook her head.

"Look at me, Hanna."

She ignored her mother.

"Look at me."

Lene spoke in a tone that brooked no argument. It wrenched Hanna's head back up, and she looked at her mother with fear in her eyes. "Read it."

Hanna started crying and shaking her head over and over. Lene took a step closer. "Read it or I'll do it for you."

The girl gave in and held the letter in front of her face. Lene went back to her seat, but the anger on her face was still crystal clear.

'Hanna,

You were very mean today. You said so many bad things to Grandpa. Maybe you really are an evil queen. I tried to stop you but Grandpa said it was okay, that he understood. But I didn't and when I asked him about he said it was better if I didn't know.

Grandpa left, and you came into my room. You hurt me. I don't like to hurt and this time was worse than the last time and the time before that. I'll have bruises under my clothes.

But I won't show them to anyone because I don't want you to get into trouble.

I'm leaving tomorrow, so you won't be able to be mean anymore. You'll be good because the bad girls will be gone. Me and the evil queen will both go away, and then there will just be the beautiful princess left.

I'm sure a princess can go to the place for the nice people. But not an evil queen.

NINA'

Hanna dropped the letter and stumbled away from the lectern. "I didn't mean to... I don't... It's not my fault! I was just teasing! It's not my fault..."

She tripped and fell on her ass. Lene walked up to her daughter and leaned over her. Hanna crawled backwards and said, "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry. I never wanted this to happen. You have to believe me, please!"

Lene didn't say a word. She watched Hanna squirm and beg and cry. Theodore had no idea what she was thinking. When she spoke, her voice was flat. "Go back to your seat and be quiet. I'm not listening to you anymore, I've had enough. I feel so stupid now. All those times, all those excuses. Do you have any idea how many times Nina came to me? I'm just as bad as you, I didn't listen to her. I let everything happen. I'm a terrible mother. Please go sit down in your seat so I don't have to see the proof."

Hanna hurried to her seat, not daring to make eye contact with anyone. She sat down and tried to make herself as small as she could, so that nobody could see her shame. Her mother wasn't much better off, she slumped in her chair with her hands covering her face.

Theodore cleared his throat and said, "I had hoped things weren't quite that bad. I remember the things you said and I'm fine with them, but what happened afterwards is a different matter."

He rubbed his forehead in an attempt to think on whether he should go on. His thoughts were interrupted by Lene's voice. "My letter please. Leave Hanna to me."

Father and daughter shared a look that told him she was serious. Theodore nodded and started on her letter.

'Mommy,

I'm not good at anything, and I always make a mess, but I know you need to work a lot so I try to do everything myself. I just want to help. I don't do it to make you angry, I promise. I'll get better.

I know I'm just small and it's easy to forget about me. But I don't mind, really. I just want you to look at me a little more. Not a lot. I want to chat and play games sometimes. I'll keep trying my best at school, so you can be happy. I'll be good.

Please be kind to Grandpa, he's your Daddy. He loves you very much. I know. Grandpa has so many stories about you, I love listening to them. You were a good girl.

And Mommy? I don't like your boyfriend. He's just like Daddy when he drinks. Why can't you be with Daddy instead? I know he loves you a lot too.

I just want everyone to be together again.'

Theodore looked up to see Lene walking toward him. He held out her letter, but she ignored him and instead sat down in his lap. She wrapped her arms around him, and she squeezed the air out of Theodore's old lungs as she screamed out her grief.

The shriek slashed his ears. He could feel her fingernails claw at him. She screamed again, a wordless cry that spoke of everything she wished she could say to her daughter. 'I should've taken the time to be with you, I'm sorry.'

Theodore couldn't soothe her grief, so she pushed herself off of her father and grabbed the letter off his lap. She tried to read, but her throat hurt. She touched her hand to her throat and wondered if this was even close to a fraction of what Nina had been through.

Her own daughter. She'd been blind to the little girl. Nina passed below her radar of things she cared about. She didn't show up as a significant blip.

Bills, romance troubles, laundry, dealing with teen rebellion. The list went on. Nina had been too far down the list. She realized it now. Had she paid attention, Nina would never have wanted to go to the place for nice people. Nina wanted all of them to come join her there. She loved them all, but she had lost faith in all but her old, good for nothing grandfather.

Lene bent forward and kissed Theodore on his forehead. "Thank you for taking care of Nina."

She saw the tears in his eyes and hoped it was enough to redeem him in his own eyes. She went to the lectern and started on her letter.

'Mommy,

I'm sorry, but I won't be able to do better. I have to go away with Grandpa. He doesn't have much time left and none of you were nice to him so I'll go ahead and tell the people there that he's coming. We'll do a welcome party with a cake like the one Grandpa bought for my birthday. I really wanted everyone to be there, but it was fun with just me and Grandpa.

I promise we'll have cake when you come join us.

NINA'

Lene closed her eyes and felt nothing but guilt and grief. Nina's birthday, she didn't even remember the date. She was the worst kind of mother. She turned to Theodore and said, "When was it?"

"When was what?"

"Her birthday."

"You don't know?"

She had to force herself to shake her head. It disgusted her to admit she didn't know.

"It's been a month, today. She never said anything about not celebrating it with all of you."

"I forgot, dad."

Theodore got up and grabbed her by the shoulders. "It's okay."

"It's not, you know it's not. Not even you at your worst ever forgot my birthday."

"Does it matter? It's too late."

"I know... I know." Her tears did come then. She held on to her father, and the old man did his best to keep her standing. His bones were old and creaky, but that didn't matter. His daughter was telling him what he could do with the time he had left. She was showing him he was needed. Her pride didn't allow her to put it into words, but he heard her message all the same.

He'd do it. He'd bring his family happiness like he had brought his troubled little granddaughter happiness. She'd given her life to change theirs, and he would be damned if he squandered the life she'd so freely given. He refused to remember her as a troubled little girl until the day he died. A little angel, that's what she was.