Lexxy Baby Pt. 08

But he didn't. He couldn't. It wasn't even about Monique at this point; it was about her. She deserved better than to be second best. She deserved a guy who would see her, and only her. If he could've been that guy, he would've sprinted over to her that very moment and made love to her.

But...he couldn't.

Arduous feelings tornadoed in his chest and stomach. Guilt, anger, confusion, remorse...more guilt. He had nowhere to turn them, no outlet to vent. He couldn't call Monique (for obvious reasons). He couldn't even call Greg, who would only tell him to get over it and dive head-first into the solace of Monique's thighs. His sister would've been a good shoulder to cry on, but for some reason, he wanted to remain the good guy in her eyes. If he confided in her, he'd have to tell her how much of a selfish piece of shit he'd been. He looked up to her and his brother in law, and he couldn't stand the thought of that.

It wasn't until he was going through his Uber customers that he saw a glimmer.

That night at the casino. Antonia had called the ride in. She was his customer. Which meant, he could possibly find her.

So, that's what he did. He used a few digital amateur sleuth techniques to find her phone number. It was surprisingly (and disturbingly) easy. He did it with nothing more than his cell phone.

Gathering his confidence, he took a deep breath and sent the following text: Toni. This is Alex. I need someone to talk to. Can I call u?

Her response was: Evry thg ok?

Yeah. Just need to talk bout Mo.

Call me.

They spoke for hours. Of course, the conversation started out with him whining about how much everything sucked. He was the victim. But Toni was a no-nonsense kind of girl. She wasn't going to play "make Mo love me".

It was she who put everything in perspective for him. She said the one thing he needed to hear.

"You and Mo have been dating for a while. Everyone knew except for you two idiots."

"Huh? We never even kissed, let alone had sex." He protested feebly.

That only made her laugh. "You two are so dumb. Not having sex didn't make you any less of a couple. It just made you a boring one."

That truth illuminated so much for Alex, some of it he wished he could remain ignorant to. It showed him how much their delusions complicated a simple matter, and how their mess hurt a great girl who didn't deserve it.

When it came down to it, he realized he was no better than Trey. Despite his "morals", he had indeed dated two women at the same time.

He...was a cheater.

That sent his guilt into overdrive. He wanted to make amends, to right his wrongs, and somehow wipe away his transgressions. Unfortunately, he had no way to do that with either woman. Both refused to talk to him.

"So, how do I fix this?" he asked, his voice vulnerable.

Toni let out a sigh as she thought.

"You're gonna have to make a decision, and then grow some balls about it. You want Cameron, go get her. But if you want Mo, it's time to step up. Stop leaving all the moves up to her."

"I don't do that!" he said, getting a bit defensive.

"Oh really?" she asked, like it was humorous he didn't see what she saw. "Kid, she's been making all the moves since the beginning. Wasn't she the one who set up some elaborate scheme just to apologize when she insulted you? When you gave up after only ONE KISS, didn't she chase you down and find you at your job? When you two had a fight over Cameron, she once again had to call you. The only move you made was that half-assed attempt of a kiss. You even pussied out on that!"

"You don't understand shit, Toni!" he vehemently exclaimed. "Do you know how it feels to be rejected your entire life by women who look like Monique? When she turned me down for that kiss, it wasn't just about that moment. It was about my entire life. I had to fight the fact that she will never want me. Then, I had to find a way to remain her friend, because that was the only way I was ever going to have her in my life. So yeah, all the decisions have to be hers because women like her don't choose guys like me."

He didn't know what to expect from her, but he hadn't yet learned the number one rule for being friends with Toni: always expect the unexpected.

"Oh, GAWD you're such a whiny bitch!" she laughed into the phone. Before his shock could settle, she continued, "Are you seriously telling the overweight black girl whose best friend looks like a wet dream that she doesn't know what it feels like to be rejected? Really? Goodness fucking gracious, you white people and your narrow view of how the world works..."

"Fuck you."

"Oh please, Lexxy Baby. You couldn't handle the ride."

Toni quick-witted response was so immediate that one would've thought she had it waiting in her holster. It was unexpected and so far left that his brain fumbled to come up with a reply.

She jumped on his silence, and asked, "Do you think I was always this confident? You think I didn't go through years of feeling ugly, stupid, and unfuckable? Huh?"

Alex sighed, finally opening his eyes further than his own mirror. "Yeah, I guess. But you're so...you know...you. No one cares about your weight. You're so beautiful, I would've never thought you ever had an issue with it. How did you overcome that?"

"Fuck 'em." She answered matter-of-factly.

"What?"

"It's simple Alex. If I want to fuck, and he wants to fuck me, I'll fuck 'em. If he doesn't wanna fuck me, fuck 'em. I stopped looking at myself through other people's eyes, and I found people who saw me through mine."

As he chuckled at that simple wisdom, she expounded, "Forget those bitches who rejected you in the past. Mo isn't rejecting you. In fact, she's actively chasing you. But that won't last long if you keep leaving her to make all the moves. You're right to think she can have any guy she wants. You just need to make sure she keeps wanting you."

"Do you always have to get the last word?" he asked, not able to hide his admiration of this woman. He could see why Monique held her in such high regard.

"Always, Lexxy Baby."

***

Not even a day later, Toni sat in her favorite restaurant. Monique sat across from her, looking glumly at the menu.

She hadn't been eating much over the last week, ever since her failed sexual escapade with Alex. She couldn't shake that feeling of rejection and humiliation. Her emotions were like a tennis game: getting swatted from sad to angry, humiliated to indignant.

"Girl, get over it." Toni said to her best friend after the waiter left with their orders.

Monique sucked her teeth and cut her eyes. "Sounds like you're on his side."

"No. I'm always on your side, Mo. That doesn't mean that I won't tell you when you're being a bitch."

"I'm not..." she started to defend herself, but then stopped. Taking a different line of reasoning, she said, "He mentioned another girl when HIS DICK WAS IN MY MOUTH! I was giving him the mother of all blowjobs, and his mind is on that bitch?"

Toni had to work hard to keep from laughing. Honestly, the absurdity of these two was starting to reach parody levels. If half the energy they spent manufacturing drama was used on actually being together, these two would be planning their wedding.

"We don't manufacture drama!" Monique said indignantly.

It took Toni a couple seconds to realize what happened. When she did, that laugh she was keeping at bay came out. "Oh shit! Did I say that out loud? I thought I kept that in my head."

Monique, who felt like Toni was making fun of her, started gathering her purse in preparation to leave. "Girl, bye." she said as she tucked it under her arm.

Blowing out an exasperated breath, Toni calmly said, "You can't leave, Mo. We already ordered."

"It's all yours." She hissed as she rose. Toni lightly grabbed her arm to stop her.

"Sit down." She said simply. It wasn't a request. It was more like a gentle order. Monique was still defiant, so she slowly repeated, "Sit. Down. Now."

Mo sat down, a pout still on her face.

Toni nodded her head at her compliance and said, "Look, I'm sorry. Okay? I know you want me to make you feel better, and tell you that Alex is a complete asshole, but you know me. I'm gonna tell you just like I told him when he called..."

Monique instantly latched onto the last part of her statement. Interrupting, Monique said, "Wait. You spoke to Alex?"

"Yeah. He called me yesterday."

"And you didn't think to tell me?" Monique asked, getting visibly agitated.

"I'm telling you now."

This did nothing to quell Monique's agitation. "How'd he get your phone number?" she asked with narrowed eyes. The question came out with a bit more suspicion than Toni would've liked.

She crossed her arms and leaned back into her chair. "I don't know. I didn't ask. I figured you gave it to him."

"Why the hell was he even calling you?"

"Because he can't call you with you ignoring him." Toni shot back. She then took a pause and looked at Monique incredulously. "And what exactly are you accusing me of?" She asked bluntly.

The directness of the question made Monique look at her anger. The more she did, the more ridiculous her suspicions sounded. If there was anyone she could trust, it was her girl.

The hostility in Mo's face seemed to melt away. Finally, she let out an "UGH!" as she dropped her head into her arms, which were on the table in front of her.

"I don't know what I'm saying." She whined; her voice muffled. "I'm not even mad at you. I just..."

"I know." Toni said in a comforting, motherly tone. "But you need to talk to him."

Finally lifting her head, Monique said, "I know. But I can't. I mean, I threw myself at him like a crackhead begging for a fix. I humiliated myself and he just threw it back in my face!"

"He didn't throw it back in your face." Toni said, dismissing that. "Your little Lexxy just has a conscience, that's all. Isn't that one of the reasons you like him so much?"

Monique pouted at Toni. "Aren't you the one who told me to give him some chocolate thunder and go collect my man?"

"Yeah. Sounds like something I'd say."

"Well, I tried that, bitch. It didn't work."

"So, I hear." Toni said with a chuckle.

By now their waiter arrived, pushing a cart with their food on it. The conversation was put on pause for the moment. After spreading their meal out in front of them, the waiter asked if there was anything else. When they told him they were fine, he left them to enjoy their lunch in peace.

Once he was out of earshot, Toni asked, "So, are you giving up on Lexxy? Cuz I was just starting to like him."

"No. I'm not giving up on him." she said with a sigh. "But I am gonna back off a bit though. At least while he's still messing with her."

Toni had just taken the first bite of her burger. Just as she thought, it was heavenly.

"Mmmm, so good." She whispered to herself, a satisfied smile on her face. After she swallowed, her attention was directed back on Monique. Curiously, she asked, "Why are you backing off? You just gonna let this woman steal your man?"

Unlike Toni, Monique absently played with her food, pushing it around with her fork. She hadn't really been eating much the last few days anyway. She didn't have much of an appetite. It's the reason Toni dragged her out of her depressing apartment and to this restaurant.

She shrugged sadly. "I don't know. After everything I went through with Trey, you would think that I wouldn't be fucked up enough to do that to another woman. I always thought I had more class than that. But I'm no better than he is. Neither is Lexxy, apparently. I thought he was different, but he's not. As it turns out, men are only as faithful as their options."

Toni mulled that over as she ate a french fry. After picking another one up, she pointed it at Monique and said, "You know, we give Trey too much credit. We hold him up as the embodiment of everything that is evil. The truth is, any of us are capable of being selfish dicks."

That didn't make Monique feel better. Quite the opposite.

Her face fell as she asked, "Then what's the point? Huh? If we're just gonna cheat on each other, why try at all?"

"And the Academy Award goes to..."

Getting defensive, Monique snapped, "You gonna get enough of laughing at me!"

"Girl, stop being so dramatic!" Toni said, playfully slapping her arm. "You see how you feel right now? That's the difference between you and Trey. When you fuck up, you make amends. Look at how you became Alex's trainer. You acted like a bitch, then you made it right."

"And what about Alex? He cheated on his girl with me. You know what they say. If they'll cheat with you, they'll cheat on you."

Toni, who was Trey's biggest critic, shook her head. "Nah. Not him. Trust me on this. That man will eat shit before he risks breaking your heart. Remember when you wanted to stay friends with him? He swallowed his pride and gave you the relationship you wanted. Do you think Trey would've done that?"

That made Monique smile. No, Trey wouldn't have. He would've turned on his heels that very moment and found him some other thighs to get between.

But Alex was different. Even at his worst moment, she had to pull out all the stops to get him to compromise. And even then, he had the willpower to put up some resistance. The only reason he was weak in the first place was because of his feelings for her.

"So, what should I do now? How do I fix this?" Monique asked her friend.

Toni smiled inwardly at the feeling of déjà vu.

"Fuck 'em."

"What?"

Toni laughed aloud. "Stop worrying about all the bullshit. Is Alex a good man? Yes. Does he make you happy? Yes. Deal with that. Fuck the rest."

For the first time in days, Monique smiled. Raising her glass, she said, "Fuck 'em."

"Fuck 'em." Toni repeated, clinking their glasses together in a toast.

***

Later that evening, Monique needed to burn off some steam. She felt it was in bad taste to head to the gym after calling out the last week, so she headed down to a kickboxing gym instead.

She got into kickboxing when she first started seriously working out. Hector, one of her brother's long-time friends, was the one who got her into working out in the first place. She wasn't an MMA fighter, and had no aspirations to be. She just found that she enjoyed the work out. It was a productive way to let off some aggression. During her dark period following her breakup with Trey, hitting the bag kept her sane, and gave her an outlet to prevent her from committing any violent crimes.

When she first walked in and he saw her, he gave a big wolf-whistle. "Whoa! Hot mama! Long time no see!"

"Hey Hector." She said as they embraced in a hug.

He stepped back and let his eyes roam over her body. "Mmm Mmm Mmm! Girl, you get any finer I'm gonna forget that I love you like a sister and start committing some incest."

She playfully slapped him and shook her head. This was how he always greeted her. When she was younger, she had such a crush on him. His entire arm was a sleeve of tattoo's. His bald head was always shiny and freshy shaved. Plus, she had a thing for accents, and his Hispanic tongue drove her wild.

Of course, she was nothing to him but Charles' little sister. It wasn't until she grew into her body that he started appreciating her beauty.

Neither of them told Charles, but they did hook up once. It was on her 21^st birthday. It was a drunken one-night stand. Her crush got the better of her, and Hector couldn't look at her as the baby sister he never had when the Hennessy was in his system.

And boy, did they fuck.

However, once it was out of their systems, they agreed that it was best to leave it as what it was. It was also best to never, ever tell Charles.

She hadn't been to the kickboxing gym in a while, and it had been just as long since she'd seen him. After the two of them caught up and reminisced, Hector took her through the workouts they used to do. She'd almost forgotten how intense they got. By the time she was hitting the showers, her entire body hurt. Sweat was dripping from every pore on her skin, and her hair was a stringy mess.

It felt great.

When she walked into the lobby of her apartment building, the last thing she was expecting was to hear Alex calling her name as she reached her elevator. At first, she didn't believe her ears. But when she heard it again, she turned to see him behind her.

"Lexxy?"

"Hey." He said shyly. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, and he was having trouble catching her eyes.

The air between them was thick with awkward tension. A part of them wanted to run into each other's arms. The other part was unsure as to what the other was thinking.

So, the two of them stood there, uncomfortably trying to figure out what to say. It seemed like so long ago that conversation between them flowed like a downstream river.

Almost in unison, they asked each other, "How have you..." When they realized the were saying the same thing at the same time, they stopped and giggled nervously.

"Well, I'm good." Monique said, taking the lead and sending over the opening volley. "I just got back from a workout. Did a little kickboxing."

"You kickbox?"

"Yeah. A bit. Haven't been doing it for a while, but I'm thinking of getting back into it."

"Cool." Alex said, nodding like he was struggling for words.

She looked him over, trying to get a gauge of his head space. Why was he here? What made him show up out the blue?

"So, Mo. I...uh...uh..." he started out, the words clumsily falling from his mouth. He got himself together and finally spit out, "I miss you."

Her insides jumped upon hearing that, but her face remained neutral. When he caught her eyes to see her reaction, he saw nothing but her poker face. He was about to go crazy with worry that he was blowing it when she asked, "You still dating Cameron?"

"No."

Her lips pursed thoughtfully as she made a clicking sound with her tongue. "Who dumped who?"

Honestly, he answered, "Uh...she dumped me."

"Why?"

"Because I told her how I feel about you."

He saw something flash across her face. She wasn't quick enough to hide it, but she did recover quickly.

"And how do you feel about me?" she asked.

"I...I kinda love you."

That was it. There was no more detachment in her expressions. Of all the things she expected him to say, that was NOT it.

"What? You...love me?"

"Yeah." He said, chuckling nervously. "Now, I'm not expecting you to say it back. I understand if..."

That's all he got out. He couldn't even speak anymore because her mouth had completely devoured his. He didn't even realize she'd grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him in until their lips were smacking.

They made out for about 10 minutes. They didn't care about the strangers passing by, giving them that "get a room" look.

They reluctantly separated their lips, but still held the embrace as they gazed into each other's eyes. He lovingly touched her forehead with his.

"I think I'm ready to make love to you." he said with a smile.

"Oh really?"

"Hell yeah."

She giggled, reached behind her, and felt around for the elevator button. It took a few moments for it to arrive, but that was fine with her. She was good where she was.

It finally opened. With a lick of her lips, she left his arms, turned, and went through the doors.