All Comments on 'Life Buoy for an Amputee or...'

It's rather abrupt in the telling; short, sharp points and so on.

But it's a good story.

The problems of the disabled should be highlighted a little more, I reckon.

Thank you

HP

@Kind Anon I wrote more stories, but this story is my speciel favorit of them. I am glad you liked it. I wanted show as the whole title says "Life Buoy for an Amputee or an Amputee Who Is a Life Buoy?" a handicapped woman (onelegged) can be the best wife for a man who is a good man but without any luck with the women. I hope my readers feel I wrote the two positive characters (Wendy and John) with my heart not only with my brain in this story. The story is Revenge story if somebody can understand true REVENGE is to live better than the cheater exspouse and the exspouse learns this deeply engraving into his or her brain and heart. John's daughter engrave the happiness of John and Wendy into their mother's brain and heart forever!

I wanted to read it, but your sentence structure leaves a lot to be desired.

For e.g. 'After all the years it is interesting that my youngest. Becky and Don's eldest are classmates in primary school.'

Better this way:

'After all the years it is interesting that my youngest AND Becky and Don's eldest are classmates in primary school.'

It's jarring when you ave to read it 2 or 3 times to understand it. 2*

And that comes with a but

But your sentence structure and grammar need work.

And editing.

I changed the sentence a little to this version:

"After all the years it is interesting that Becky my youngest and Don's eldest are classmates in primary school."

The Literotica promises the edited version will be on Romance category after 48 hours.

However you could have written a Feedback to me and I mend my mistake earlier!

Aside from the obvious poor English grammar and sentence structure the plot hinges on something that's really unpardonable. Our heroine is indeed an amputee, but for many years now, amputees have rapid access to prostheses which work very well and allow people to get around without crutches or super gym kitchens. Amputees work at normal jobs, drive easily and socialize without being helpless "cripples". The really talented ones run in races, play games and certainly are active in society if they want to bel. It does take some time to heal slufficiently to accept the prosthesis, but after that it's quite straightforward. It is expensive, but someone's insurance should have covered this. This fact should not be minimized, because the whole story changes if she has the proper prosthesis early on. And spare me the nonsense of a 5-hour courtship of John and Wendy: the joining of losers. i gave this a generous 3*, but it probabaly didn't deserve it.

@Overcritical I found an amputee girl in the net with longer videos. She uses car and uses two crutches. She use playground facilities to show us she moves very well and her room and bathroom. She is very sexy and beautiful. My iving model with two crutches was this girl for Wendy.

BTW I wrote at the end of my story:

They bought a super gadget artificial leg to Wendy later when John collected more money, but Wendy is without that artificial leg at home, because their super house helps her well!"

Have you read my story untill the end??????? or stopped with your vote at the middle????

I did indeed read to the end about the "super gadget artivicial leg" and I stand by my comment. There may indeed be a super heroine who does not have a prosthesis and skips around on her jungle gym, but the overwhelming majority of people would go for the prosthesis and try to live as normal a life as possible.

I found the jumping back and forth in time hard to read. Did not get far.

@Overcritical

If I had not find those videos about that one legged girl on the NET, I would not have written my story at all. She moved well with two crutches on the video. She was so quick as an easy running men. She climbed on the children playground facilities very well without any difficulty and she was sexy and beautiful...(joke=) I understand my male character he loved Wendy character immediatally. The one legged girl was my model for my story and she used two crutches in the video.

I think the best strategy to learn to use well the two crutches method first and the second to get some prothesis or bionic artifitial leg. If somebody choses this method that handicapped human fellow can live without any problem when the bionic or simple protesis out of order or destroyed.

very nice story, took a bit of reading over but i liked it, think the next ten years of the families life would be good

1. I know the 3 years prison can be short for the Amy's second husband in the real life but I wanted to show a symmetry with my main male character's suspended 3 years punishment. He avoided the 3 years prison and Amy's second husband went to prison for 3 years.

2. Many hardcore BTB story fans think the eleborated revenge scenarios are the true achivements. I enjoy these stories honestly but for about 15-20-25 million (ex and not ex) husbands (who have been being good faithful husbands to cheater wives) only in the USA this could not be solution. The Romantic Revenge Stories could show a way that not only elaborated revenge scenarios could be solution. I think to reach success could be BTB in several cases as my story shows this and to reach this type success in the real life could be bigger achivment than some elaborated sophisticated revenge scenarios!

3. Some people asked me how an one legged amputee girl could be better spouse/wife than a normal intact woman. As I wrote here in the comment section Wendy's model was an one legged amputee girl whose is videos on the Net. She moved well on the videos and she was beautifull and sexy in them. I could imagine her for my Wendy character. However the average construction industry does not make houses or condos to them. Her success in the story depended on her (family)connection to the construction industry...

I'm pleased that you were committed to writing. Writing fiction is beyond me.

I do have a couple of suggestions for your future work.

I have to agree with others that your sentence structure, grammar, etc. need some work. I also found your word choice is puzzling had a number of points. I just couldn't imagine people I know saying things the way your characters said them. An editor could be a real help with this.

I suggest that you work some on your characters. These seemed sort of one-dimensional. Wendy was always and only ever wonderful, and her husband was always supportive. Real people are more complex. Flaws and struggles make characters more interesting, realistic, and relatable.

There were some things in your plot that I didn't understand. These are just a couple of examples:

* Why is it that Wendy never went to college? There are many resources to help handicapped persons succeed and colleges roll many students much more severely disabled than Wendy.

* I thought John received a five-year suspended sentence, so why would he have been imprisoned for three years if he contacted Amy?

* It's OK to tell readers that something will become clear later, especially if you create some suspense or mystery, but I felt like you said that about six times on the first page and that was too much.

* I have to agree with another's comment about a prosthesis. It would be standard procedure to fit any amputee with one. Not to do so would be so rare that it would need an explanation, such as Wendy's family being too poor and insurance providing no help.

* Of course, no one meets and gets engaged within four hours. Four weeks would've still been quick. Stories need to be somewhat in touch with reality.

* How many women these days want to snare a husband simply by being good in the kitchen, and how many would want to be known as a "kitchen fairy"?

I hope you'll keep writing and I suspect you will get better each time.

Dear Anon We are on fantasy website and sometime "The postman bites the dog" could be interesting. John found a woman who can cook and likes children in the USA so he engeded her after 5 hours... It may be Wendy did not find John to have kids she would have gone to college with schollarship for handicapped people, but she does job which is done with degree of bussiness administration!

John got restrained decision from his previouse family so if he injures Amy's restrained decision he will go to prison. Simple...I do not understand why do not you understand?

@Dear Anon I think of my story after your comment, to give some ideas about it.

Thank you for it.

Wendy is not 100% American, his Mom is Hungarian so when she became handicaped her Mom tought to cook her together starting her life as an one legged 19 years old girl. I think to be not 100% American explains a lot of things.

I think If Wendy had not met John or John had arrived as an average guest for Wendy's birthday party after noon Wendy would have begun college with (handicapped people) scollarship after her 21 years ages. Her parents thought first Wendy had to learn to provide self alone! To cook well was part of this program.

I agree Wendy's parents, first step to learn to live alone and the next step would have been the college life!

John got 3 years prison with suspend for 5 years for violance. Yes for violance because he broke the legs of his second wife's lovers. Violance is violance. His first wife asked for the court (not from the Police) long term restraining order (untill his youngest daughter has become 14 years old.

Instead of 3 years prison he got another punishment from his first wife.

If he injured his first wife's restraining order (from court) he would have lost the suspension and John would have gone to prison for 3 years. In this case the suspended punishment means John have to avoid any violance (or other criminal events) so if John had injured the Amy's restrained order that would have meant VIOLANCE in the eye of the court.

Amy's dirty revenge (restraing order!!!) is the central part of my story!

Many men became alcoholic or total loser, but insted of self-pity John became a workalcoholic.

His co-owner thought to bring together him and Wendy. John knew little about Wendy.

However Wendy had much information about John she knew about his problem not to meet his daughters and about his two exwives. Wendy knew John was workalcoholic and not alcoholic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

John arrived 10 O'clock (instead of after noon) so he found an beautiful sexy 21 years old amputee girl who is a master shef and this master shef wanted kids!

According to the extramarital statistic figures 55% of the wives have minimum 1 extramarital affair in lifetime. John had 2 wives and he was with both wives long time before the 2 previouse weddings!

(Postman bites the dog!)

John engeged Wendy after 5 hours he has known her! John thought Wendy could provide not only herself but 2 kids in a special house to build for an one legged woman, wife and mom! Wendy's brother and John are co owner of a constuction company!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No two unkown people in Las Vegas!!!!!!!!!

Wendy said yes, because she knew John well through her brother!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After the wife of Wendy's brother stopped the work at home for the company of her brother and her husband she began the job at home for the construction company.

THE FUTURE:

Same to the wife of Wendy's brother Wendy will join to the staff of the FAMILY company, where her boss will be the wife of her brother. Wendy will learn the job there without bussiness administration degree...at a FAMILY COMPANY this is not a difficult thing.

BTW However she could attend college later, if Wendy wants this, but the one legged Wendy has 2 kids, godd super gedged artificial proteshis leg and a good husband for the future!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank you Anon for thinking through my story!

A young who became handicaped (one legged) at 12 years old. he/she has 6 years to prepare him/herself for the handicapped life during the highschool. Wendy, my character lost her leg at summertime before college after 18 years old.

1. She had to go through more corrective operation.

2. She had to get used to the one legged life, so her life at her parents is understandable.

I think I wrote in the first chapter Wendy wanted to be techer for younger kids, because she loved young kids. So the possibility for 2 kids was overwhelming for her.

To find a good mate to bring up 2 kids for a handicapped woman is not easy and Wendy grabbed the good oportunity!

As Amy told to Wendy my two characters deserved each other but not as losers but 2 succesful people.

The end question:

America is the home of the freedom, or not??? Why is problem an one legged handicapped 21 years old girl learned cook well and finds a good mate-husband to bring up 2 kids in a special house which cunstructed for an one legged woman, wife and mom????? Why is problem my character gets job at the family company (her brother, her husband and her sister in law are her bosses) to do such job which is filled with bussiness administration college degree?????

I thought in the East European communism that America is the home of the freedom and liberty, but for my character Wendy this is not true????

I'm a noncustodial parent who has had to repeatedly take my ex-wife back to court and fight to get the courts to order my ex-wife to let me see my kids. It took reminding both the family court judge and the local prosecutor that Interference With Custody is a criminal offense to get them to enforce my visitation rights.

If I would have been granted temporary custody of my children under these circumstances, I would have fought tooth and nail for 50/50 shared custody instead of being expected to meekly go back to being a twice monthly visitor in my children's lives who is expected to consider himself to be damned lucky to be allowed to visit with his children at the custodial parents whim.

Anon

My main male character met this problem first with his first exwife that she gave much obstacle for meeting with his daughter. After this the "very kind" exwife asked for restraining order for proved violance untill the youngest daughter would be 14 years old.

I think newer law institute developing is in some USA's states to prevent "kind" exwives to give obstacle for meeting the Dad with his kids.

1. 50/50 custody for both parents. (you mentioned in your comment".

2. The kids can decide on their custody parent after 16 years old.

I know the family law differs state to state in the USA, so I invent a new family law institute in my imagined USA's state where my story happened, the "kind" exwife can lose the custody to the father of the kids if the exwife obstructs the meeting of the kids with their father. However in my story the family circumtances were unique for the second husband of the "kind" exwife.

In the USA there is a little known problem. A massiv number of families live to feed their kids with junk food. This family number can reach even 70-90 million people. They eat junk food and their kids have low quality food.

It may be moreover I am sure in the family of my 2 main characters in my imagined story the kids (and they) eat quality nutritiouse (and deliciouse) food...

Why is problem for some posters an amputee wife can cook well for their kids and the whole family, relatives and friends in a special house contructing for an one legged amputee...

Did enviouse posters get angry for eating much junk food????

Outstanding story. My wife was born without a hip and her independent is what drew me to her. 39 Wonderful Years. Thank You very much for this.

If I am banned here why my story is published here?

Thank you for my readers, my average vote went up from 4.51 to 4.59.

The author myself does not know why Amy humuliated Wendy in the Mall?

1. What she explained to Wendy......

2. Or she wanted her ex husband in prison.....

What is the opinion of my readers?

From the Author. Thank you for the 4.60 level! The authors' biggest pleasure is the good vote rate. The Loving Wives category full of such stories, where the cheated on husbands become miserable sad unhappy people and the only good fate for them is the reconciliation with the cheater wives.

I think the the TRUE MODERN ROMANTIC STORY NOWDAYS to find happiness with other woman as the cheater ex wife. I am glad many readers understood my massage!

Sorry. Unfortunately I do too much work with amputees so comments such as “Though ashamed of my disability” just do not ring true, especially with compared to the rest of her character. Amputees who are otherwise this well adjusted are no ashamed.

Good story otherwise.vrQ8PW