Life Decisions- Laura's Route 02

Laura briefly tutted and then a smile crept across her face.

"Mum so you actually bought a new pack yesterday?"

"Oh yes, it's in my, err, bag," she leant down and opened her bag and took out the pack, "I just couldn't wait for him to leave. I know he is your dad's brother but boy is he annoying." She stated as she took the cellophane off and flipped the lid, eventually got a cigarette between her lips.

"He is just trying to help!"

"I know I know. Everyone is trying to help; now everyone is becoming a hindrance!" Trisha grizzled as the unlit cigarette bounced between her lips. "He is just too much for me" she stated and paused as she flicked the lighter and with her eyes focusing, brought the flame to the tip, it crackled, and she was soon inhaling on the smoke.

"It's only another couple of days until the funeral, and then we can look through the mountain of condolence cards. Its nice mum, everyone genuinely cares."

"I know, I know." She sighed as a single tear trickled down her cheek as she hit on the cigarette again.

Laura smiled as she looked to the fridge. "It's not too early, a nice glass of wine I am sure will help!" she smiled as she headed to the corner of the room.

Trisha wiped the tear from her cheek with her thumb and then drew on her cigarette as she nodded "Law, I think you might be right!" she grinned and manicured her cigarette as she exhaled.

***

Laura swirled her glass of wine and took a sip "Mum that was really a lovely service to and send off for him, nice ability to say goodbye." She then picked at left over sausage wrapped in bacon that had been left behind. "It's been nice to catch up with everyone, even though it is depressing." She stated and chewed.

Trisha nodded her eyes raw from succession of understandable crying bouts throughout the day, "Yes it was, but I am glad they have all gone." She stated and then dragged on her cigarette and exhaled out the corner of her mouth. "For the last couple of weeks, it's been a whirlwind of police and family, and now" she sniffed "it is just us."

"Mum that will be absolutely fine. It's just me and you!" She smiled her mum and put her arm around her shoulders and squeezed it. "I will also admit you were right; no one once mentioned your smoking!"

Trisha smiled and brought her hand back to her mouth as she dragged yet again on her cigarette and exhaled a cone.

"There is life in the old dog yet!" she grinned as the smoke tumbled from her lips as she manicured her cigarette again. "Are you buggering off with Adam tonight?" she asked.

"Oh mum, we are not ready for that yet!" she grinned. "But yes, if it's okay, I will go out."

Trisha nodded, "It's amazing and I am so lucky to have such a beautiful, amazing daughter." She smiled as she flicked her cigarette, the ash drifted down into the ashtray.

Laura blushed, "Oooh thanks mum." She said as she affectionately nuzzled her nose into her mum's coiffured hair before coughing with the intense smell of cigarettes and hair product in the hair.

"No Darling, please, not today, I definitely need them now!" Trisha scolded her whilst shaking her head and running her hand back through her hair as Laura looked down on her before placing the cigarette between her lips.

"Sorry mum, I didn't mean to. Honestly, it was all the hair spray Diane used this morning!" She tried to lie and defend herself yet again and picked up her wine glass and gulped more down.

"Talking of leaving me are you going out with Adam now?" Trisha asked as she manicured her cigarette again on the old glass ashtray bought at a charity shop last week.

Laura screwed her face up "I was planning on. I need a drink or two. He has gone around to Monique's with Dai as he is being good and giving us some space since the wake, but now I feel guilty about going out again."

Trisha forced a smile, her eyes twinkling with moisture before taking a quick drag on her cigarette "Darling, go out and have fun, we need to have a little bit of enjoyment now, don't we, you've been so good for the last two weeks?"

"Thanks Mum, as long as, you are really sure?" Laura put her arm around her mum and squeezed her shoulders. "Are you honestly sure you are okay on your own?"

Trisha smiled and nodded "Yes Law, I am. Oh, before you go, are you coming back here or going to his?" she asked.

Laura shrugged her shoulders with a smile, "I am not sure yet, do you want us here in the morning?"

Trisha smiled, "I will be honestly fine if you are not. "

"Oh, thanks Mum, I will text and let you know, are you sure I can go out tonight?"

"Go now, before I change my mind. Be safe and go have fun, we all need a release!" Trisha said then she took one last longing drag on her cigarette, exhaling as she stubbed it out.

With a cloud of smoke in the air Laura got up picked up another cold sausage roll off the plate and kissed her mum on the head and headed upstairs chewing on the sausage roll as she went upstairs to get ready.

***

Laura tipsily smiled as she ran her fingers along Adams chin and leaned in for a kiss. They sat alone on the cold damp pavement a few paces down from the kebab shop. Adam's denim jacket covering her bare shoulders of her little black dress she had worn to the funeral as he heroically shivered in his short sleeve red checked Ben Sherman shirt. As the other revellers staggered and stumbled around behind them Laura turned her face and grinned. "So, Ad," she stated between kisses "I really need to text my mum, your place or mine?" she grinned and kissed him again on the lips before tugging at her skirt up her thighs as it fell down her thighs again before leaving it fall where it was hoping the darkness would reduce the visibility her rather bare crutch sitting just above a large steaming puddle on the side of the road.

Adam wiped her sauce and grease off his mouth from the kiss with the back of his hand "Come to mine, we don't need to be as quiet." He grinned as his finger stroked her leg and migrated further into her thigh as he kissed her again. "You've got your nighty at mine anyway and knowing you, it's not as if you need any clean knickers in the morning." He chuckled as his fingers caressed her pubes. He grinned as glanced down at knees before kissing her again as the lettuce and meat fell out of the tray and on the floor.

Laura broke off the kiss, "You actually want me wearing it?" She asked surprized before she kissed him. "It's huge on me!" she exclaimed and rocked back on the pavement putting her hand down to stop herself falling.

"I thought it was cute?" He attempted to pull her back giving her a sloppy kiss in the process. "But no, of course I don't want you in it!" he grinned as he kissed her again. "You are halfway there already!" She moaned as his fingers moved to gently stroke her wet clit. "I want you and love you in nothing!" he grinned again as placed his greasy hand back on her thigh.

Laura broke the kiss and looked up knowing someone was nearby as the shadow was looming over them "God, sake you two get a room!" Karen giggled as she interrupted them as she stood on the road eating her bag of chips.

"Oi, we will do in a minute." Laura looked the floor and grumbled. "My food has fallen on the floor; go on give us a chip!" Laura asked and raised her upturned hand begging for the food.

"Are you sure, you will only complain it will make you fat!" Karen giggled taking two chips and chewing as she lowered her greasy bag.

Laura stuck her tongue out. "After today, it's too late, I am fat. I will start my diet again tomorrow. I promise. As I've been naughty and eaten my own weight in sausage rolls all day." She almost stated proudly before grinning as she took a chip. She placed it between her fingers like a cigarette.

"Shall I light your chip for you?" Karen wobbled forward in her heels and flicked her lighter.

Laura giggled "No silly, I am not going smoke it, I am going to eat it. But I will smoke a real ciggy if one is going." Laura stated and promptly chewed it licking her lips afterwards.

Karen snorted "There is always one for your babes!" As she opened her little handbag and managed to eventually wiggle out two cigarettes out of the pack whilst still holding her chips and placed it between her lips. she grinned as they bounced in the corner of her mouth and flicked the lighter and inhaled and then bent down and offered the spare one to Laura.

"So how is your mum?" She asked with her exhale as she dropped her lighter back in bag.

Laura shrugged her shoulders and she quickly eat the chip and then, swallowed, and took a frantic drag, exhaled, and then responded, "She has started smoking as a method of coping!" She ginned and leaned over and then picked up and chewed on the last of Adams wrap, wiping her greasy hands on her skirt.

"What the fuck?" Karen asked as she slightly stepped to the side to keep her balance."

"Tell me about it!" Laura screwed her face up in ball. "Bang goes my secret smoking; it takes real staying power after a glass of wine not to light up with her!" She giggled.

Adam shook his head, "I keep telling you not to smoke!" He piped up.

"Shhhh!" Laura giggled and patted him on the knee and took another drag. "I really don't smoke!" she smiled then forced her exhale.

"Yeah of course!" Karen stifled a giggle as her eyebrow rose. "How as today?"

"Shite, but it was good to get out this evening with this one!" she squeezed his knee and took a deep drag on the cigarette.

"Also, Law, you can tell me all the goss on Monday!" Karen replied before inhaling on hers.

"Oh, I will do, I have missed everyone this week." She stated with her exhale bathing Adam and herself in smoke.

"But you are allowed to grieve." Karen stated flicked her cigarette and drawing on it again.

Laura nodded as she hungrily drew on her cigarette as Adam tutted and relinquished his arm around her waist and shuffled away from the drifting smoke. "Yeah, it's hard!" she acknowledged and then exhaled.

"I can imagine, but it was a good night out!" Karen grinned as she flicked her cigarette and took another lungful.

"Nice distraction, after a good send off!" Laura stated with a solemn face on.

"Oh, when we have finished, can I be cheeky and nab a lift in the cab?" Karen asked as she balanced the cigarette in one hand and her chips in the other.

Laura smiled as she rolled her eyes "Yeah of course Kaz!" she replied confidently before turning to Adam "She can, can't she?" Laura asked Adam, almost grovelling smoke pouring out of her mouth.

Adam coughed as the smoke from Laura's cigarette enveloped him again and he nodded "Come on both of you!" Adam said as he stood up and offered his hand down and with a glance between her legs before he took both arms and pulled Laura up into an unsteady hug. "Kaz, Law, you will need to finish your chips and ciggy before we get in the cab." Adam instructed.

"Yes sir, Laura will help me." She stated as they stumbled away from the remnants of the food on the floor.

"I hope not with another cigarette..." Adam muttered with gritted teeth as both girls stopped walking to focus on inhaling on their current cigarettes.

***

After dropping of Karen outside her house and the taxi paused and waited the 5 seconds to make sure she stumbled safely in her house. The two of them then sat in silence as the taxi drove off as Adam's fingers migrated again inside her thigh and moved up and down Laura's soft flesh whilst taxi drove down the street; Laura's drunk and emotional head was resting on his shoulder as the dim lit streets of the town flashed across their faces.

She lifted and lead and looked at Adam "Ad, sorry honey, do you think I could be dropped off at home?" she asked still looking at him.

"Are you sure?" He asked and leaned in for a sloppy kiss.

Laura pushed him away before their lips touched, "Honey, I just, you know, need to spend time with my mum."

Adam chuckled "Law, she will be fast asleep?" he yawned.

Laura smiled happily and took a gently breath in and nodded her head as she felt his hand, "True!" she sighed his hands migrated back up between her thighs.

"And at this difficult time for you, I want, and feel I should be with you too?" Adam asked as his hand pushed further up her thigh until it tickled her pubes, and he reached the point where she quietly moaned.

"Oh, yes, okay darling." Laura kissed him on the lips. "Oh, you should stop, but keep doing that." She whispered and kissed him again.

"Please Law come to mine, Dai won't be home yet?" He asked, as she shook her head and kissed him again.

"Okay honey, as long as I don't have to wear that nightie." She giggled.

"Shh," he glanced towards the taxi driver before looking back at her and giving her peck on the lips as his hands gently swirled his finger around her bare short pubes. "The best thing about you as ever, is in nothing at all!" Adam smiled as his fingers migrated further down and, in the darkness, slid in, as she softly moaned in appreciation of where his finger was and how deep it had gone as she nuzzled her head into his crook of his neck as the taxi sped along the road.

"I love you Ad!" Laura said and lifted her heavy drunken head for kiss. "I really do!"

Chapter 3 Saturday and Memories

Laura took a deep breath of fresh air in trepidation and then with faux confidence opened the front door. She dropped her handbag on the floor and sighed as she shut the front door relaxing having done the walk of shame in her high heels all the way home from Adam's place. He had refused to get out of bed to drop her home. She tried to style it out wearing his t-shirt over her dress. She sniffed the air and a wry smile crept across her lips as she walked down the hallway.

She sighed loudly, swallowed, and then took a deep breath as build her confidence as she watched the column of exhaled smoke leave her mum's lips. "Morning Mum!" she grinned as she walked in and kissed her on the top of her head and migrated towards the kettle.

"Morning Darling, good night out?" Trisha asked as she manicured her cigarette in the relatively full Gü ramekin on the kitchen table having moved the ashtray to the living room.

"Yeah, not too bad. I feel really guilty for leaving you in the house on your own. So, I came home as quickly as possible. Bloody long walk!" She frowned as she reached up and got a mug out of cupboard and shovelled in three scoops of instant coffee into it.

Trisha nodded and then tutted as she glanced at Laura's feet "Especially in those heels! Why didn't Adam give you a lift?"

"He wanted to stay in bed, don't start now, my head hurts!" Laura replied despondently as she poured the hot water in to the mug.

Trisha nodded in sympathy, "Sounds like you must have had good night?"

"Yeah, it wasn't bad. It didn't rain when we left the club, and the music was good, had a good dance!" Laura wiggled her hips and briefly danced before she poured in the milk.

Trisha nodded and drew on her cigarette, and exhaled a small cone out to the side of her mouth "So what is your plan today?"

"Might go shopping with the girls later." Laura stated as she sat down at the kitchen table. "Then night in with you."

Trisha nodded, "Law, please sit, and have a morning cigarette with your coffee, it's just an amazing feeling."

"Mum!" Laura exclaimed almost embarrassed.

"Please have a cigarette with me this morning before you go out again?"

Laura smiled and tucked her blonde hair back behind her ears "But Mum, but I don't really smoke!"

Trisha raised a knowing eyebrow.

Laura glared; she knew she had been caught out. "First, I need to get out of these clothes, and I need a shower, then I am going out to find Karen." She declared flapping Adam's t-shirt as she promptly sat down with her coffee. She stared at the enticing open pack in front of her.

***

Laura sat at the kitchen table watched on as Trisha exhaled and stubbed her cigarette out "I thought you were seeing Adam again tonight?" Trisha asked as they looked over the clean dinner plates.

Laura winced "No don't you remember, like I said that's tomorrow he is working late again tonight."

Trisha nodded "That's good, more time with you for me!" she grinned as the wisps of her remnants of her exhale drifted out her nose.

"You could have come shopping with me and the girls, we had a bit of wine with lunch?" Laura asked.

Trisha smiled as she manicured her cigarette "I am alright!"

"Good, but to be honest Mum can I ask how you get over that empty feeling?" Laura asked chewing on her last cheese covered cracker before taking a gulp of her glass of red wine.

Tisha smiled and sighed, her shoulders falling slightly. "To be honest Law at this very moment I light a cigarette, and I momentarily feel lifted every time the smoke hits my lungs." She stated as pulled another cigarette out of the pack and perched between her lips bounced as the she slowly brought the flame to the dark tobacco stuffed end flared red as the yellow flame hit the tip and the white paper quickly turned black as she inhaled twice, exhaling through her nose.

"But mum, you never did that beforehand?" Laura asked holding wine glass securely and defensively in her hand.

Trisha snorted and shook her head "Law, oh I did once," she grinned, "at college and a little before getting pregnant with you, it was your dad made me finally stop...he detested them. But as you know they certainly helped all those years ago during the exams and they are certainly helping me now!" Trisha stated before again placing the filter between her pink lips and drawing on the cigarette.

Laura smiled and chewed on her cracker with cheese and swallowed, "Mum, I can't start smoking properly now, I am too old to start that!" she smiled and carried on chewing.

Trisha shrugged her shoulders and turned the pack around, so the open side faced her daughter. "I have just done so, and Law, I can't force you, but not in my wildest dreams did I realise I enjoyed it so much, I think you would enjoy it too." she grinned.

Laura snorted "Why smoking mum, how long have you hidden it from me?"

"You sneakily smoke behind my back now, don't you?" Trisha asked back.

"Well ..." she winced as she knew what she was about to say "...I guess, Karen, Zoe and, err, I might occasionally still smoke, but only really occasionally Mum!" Laura looked a little guilty as she looked at tempting cigarette poking out of the pack.

Trisha laughed, "And I thought you still did..." she grinned and touched the side of nose a couple of times. "Mothers intuition!"

Laura twisted her mouth and shook her head rejecting that she smokes. "But I really don't truly smoke!" she muttered defensively under her breath.

Trisha continued "But I have not hidden it from you, you haven't looked, when you or your dad had been particularly annoying to me, I may have once or twice had to escape to the bottom of the garden."

"Mum! No!" Laura exclaimed "Surely not?"

Trisha guilty nodded "Well, you helped me with the bottle of wine, feel free to join me now?" Trisha asked and turned the pack around to face Laura. "But as they say you are healthier for not doing it mind you!" She continued.

"I know but it's not like I treat my body well, I am like a fat goddess!" She smiled as she patted her stomach.

"Yes, you like your cake..." Trisha riffed back.

"Mum, you are meant to say I am not fat." Laura gave a look of indignation.

Trisha nodded and smiled "You are definitely not fat..." she grinned and manicured her ash.

Laura put her hands up and looked guilty "Thank you mum, Yeah," she frowned a little before smiling at Trisha "but I must admit this is nice cheese" she chewed a little more "...so more importantly are you going on your around the world cruise you always spoke off now dad's insurance cheque has come in?" Laura asked picking the crumbs off the plate with her finger and placing it on her tongue and swallowing.