Life Decisions- Laura's Route 02

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Trisha cocked her head to the side as she drew on the cigarette held most of the smoke in her lungs as some drifted out her nose as she thoughtfully ran her tongue across her lips before letting the smoke drift out of her mouth.

"I am also thinking... and more importantly..." she looked at her empty glass "...do you want to open us another bottle of this Merlot, as its rather nice?" Trisha asked smiling holding the empty bottle.

Laura smiled and nodded enthusiastically, "Absolutely, of course mum!" she grinned. "But you know something mum... you should really quit smoking!" she stated as a volley of exhaled smoke barrelled across the room.

"Sorry Law, but with your dad gone, I think I am in need of them!" Trisha stated as Laura again watched the spike in pleasure travel across her mums' face as she inhaled the rather delightful pungent smoke that was permeating around the room yet again into her lungs.

"If you say so mum?" Laura replied.

Trisha nodded "Well, I do, and now I need a pee and might change into something more comfortable." She confidently announced before taking a final, as her face showed, almost loving drag before exhaling as she stubbed her cigarette out.

Laura shook her head watching her mum "Okay mum, I will open that bottle." She smiled lovingly at her mother as they both pushed the chairs back.

***

As Laura sang to herself as she opened the next bottle of merlot and topped up both wine glasses before settling back at the kitchen table. She got herself comfortable and then looked across the kitchen table. A smile crossed her face as she reached across at her mum's pack and studied the contents there were five left. She pulled one out by the filter and studied it she paused looking at glanced to the ceiling as she listened as the floorboards creaked as her mum moved around upstairs. She placed the cigarette under her nose and smelt the rather enticing aroma of the tobacco and smiled at the rather tipsy memories of sitting smoking the more than occasional, very much regular cigarettes when drunk on nights out with Karen and Zoe.

She placed the cigarette between her lips just as Trisha swished back into the kitchen in her pink silky pyjamas loosely buttoned up, she licked her lips and sat down, picked up her wine glass and grinned at her daughter sitting there with the unlit cigarette protruding between her lips. Trisha nodded with encouragement as she sat down and instantly reached for the lighter.

***

Trisha sniffed her nose and sipped her red wine and licked her red wine-stained teeth leaned her head on her hand, her face was full of thought, "Law, do you remember our holiday in the south of France?" she slurred a little as she wiped her nose and pulled yet another cigarette out of the pack and tapped it rhythmically on the table.

"Which one this time mum the one with the kayaks?" Laura asked stifling a yawn watching the cigarette bounce up and down above the table between her mum's fingers.

"That's the one, where after paddling for half a day we were all knackered and your dad had that hair brained scheme and took us for walk afterwards and a wrong turn on the footpath and we ended up in a field with an angry bull, it chased us from the field. We had to run into the stream?" Trisha smiled with the memory.

"Yeah, I fell in, didn't I? I was dry on the river and then fell in on the walk." Laura laughed with the memory. "I had to walk back all the way to the car pulling my t-shirt down over my naked backside" she giggled.

Trisha laughed out loud with another thought "Oh, Law, I remember now, dad and I were convinced you fell in on purpose!"

"What?" Laura looked back inquisitively.

"We thought you had wet yourself and had to hide the evidence!" she chuckled.

Laura looked aghast at her mum, and wiped a tear from her eye as snorted and then she nodded. "Probably, it sounds about right!" She chuckled, "Only because the bull scared me?"

"Don't blame you!" Trisha laughed along too. "We were meant to go shopping, but had to go back to the Gite, as you were not going to sit half naked in the car whilst we went in!" Trisha laughed hard and sniffed.

"Yeah, I was sitting there with a beach towel across my legs!" she grinned "I really should have put knickers on that morning..." Laura's eyes sparkled as the memories stirred and tumbled in her brain. Even now if she could get away with it, she never wore knickers. Life was easier without them.

Trisha laughed at the memory "That right, you went through that early stage of wearing nothing or those silly unpractical non-existent thongs, don't think there was much wet fabric around your arse!" Trisha laughed.

"Oh god, yes, hell I remember, even now I still now prefer nothing, those knickers were so bloody uncomfortable, but made my butt cheeks at the time look sooo good! Christ, I couldn't fit in those cheese cutters now..." Laura mused. "It's easier without anything!"

"That's, Law, because of way too much alcohol and cake!" Trisha nodded if stating it in a drunken motherly way.

Laura picked up her wine glass "I guess...they are both rather nice and the less knickers thing means I have less to wash!" she grinned and took a gulp.

"Hang on madam...who does all the washing around here?" Trisha waved her hand around in a circle creating a ring of smoke as she raised her eyebrow cheekily.

"Yeah, well you know what I mean..." Laura responded and stuck her tongue out.

"That holiday was good fun, it was like one of our last as a family, as the following years you went off shagging on the Balearics with your friends."

Laura screwed her face up "Muuuum, that's not fair, we didn't go shagging, plenty of drinking, dancing and smo...snogging, but I was good!" Laura said defensively.

Trisha raised an inquisitive eyebrow and then looked behind her at the cupboard. "I think I still have the cheap shot glasses somewhere you brought back that last time."

"Yeah, I think we spent all the money on...and yeah...I had like 10 pesos left." Laura grinned.

"Law, it's good that we can still laugh and share those memories." Trisha sniffed again and has Laura watched on she finally placed the cigarette between her lips.

Trisha tutted as she looked across at her daughter "Law, close your mouth or just smoke another one please." Trisha asked as the cigarette bounced between her lips.

"Like I've said I really don't really smoke mum!"

Trisha looked dismissively at Laura and a wry smile crept across her lips "Darling, that's a big lie, I know you smoke...sometimes...But you are staring at me like you think I am an alien. Or about to attack you, you are watching my every move!"

"Okay, true, but your smoking is very much alien to me mum, even after these two weeks."

"But Law, I know smoking is not alien to you, and I think you full well know red wine and cigarettes are certainly not foreign to each other." Trisha stated as she flicked her new pink Bic twice to get a flame and finally inhaled it as the tip crackled as it caught alight in the silence between them. "It will make you feel better. I promise!" Trisha finally said after exhaling.

"You're pissed mum." Laura said swirling her wine before taking a large gulp.

Trisha shrugged her shoulders enthusiastically nodded "Yes I am," she grinned happily "and...?" she chuckled to herself "...so were you the other weekend, when you fell in the through the front door with your legs practically up over your shoulders flashing your bare vag at me."

Laura guiltily shrugged her shoulders, rolled her eyes, and gulped some more wine. "Sorry...heels got stuck in the door frame, thanks for helping me up!"

"It's okay, at least I was awake...you really should wear knickers! Anyway, don't you think at this moment in time the drink and smoke does feel good now though, doesn't it, I am having a really great Saturday night in with you!" Trisha said with a smile and picked up her wine and with a gulp some and an "Ahhh" then pushed the pack with a single cigarette in it towards Laura.

Laura nervously peered at it "Mum it's your last one?"

Trisha giggled shrugged her shoulders "So what? Tomorrow is another day, Spar is 2 minutes away, I can and thinking about it, I will get more tomorrow." she suggested her head wobbling slightly as she reached across and manicured the ash from her cigarette.

"But..."

"But nothing Law, you can smoke, hell I have watched you tonight, and I am fed up with you watching me like a freak show every time I actually enjoy one."

"Sorry mum, I didn't realise... I..."

"Please." Trisha begged and pushed the lighter with her bitten nails across to Laura.

"Oh, right, shall I go to the loo first." Laura went to push her chair back.

Trisha shook her head and snorted and pushed the pack further across the table "Law, I know you like to hold it, please just light the cigarette darling and let me enjoy mine."

Laura gulped air as Trisha looked fiercely across the table her hand on the table with her cigarette burning between her fingers, Laura picked up her glass for support and necked down the rest of her wine with an audible slug and whilst still looking at her mum picked up the lonely looking cigarette out of the pack. "I can't believe at twenty-nine my mum is forcing me to smoke." She nervously giggled and placed the cigarette between her lips.

"Please, stop messing around and light it now." Trisha said sternly and motherly.

"Yeah, hang on." Laura said muffled with the cigarette between her lips as she too got the lighter in to flame and to touch the end of the cigarette.

With a gentle small drag and let the smoke out of her mouth pulling a face of faux disgust and licking her lips

"Come on Law, don't mess me around, it's too late, please smoke it properly darling." Trisha stated.

Laura smiled and rolled her eyes, "Wow hang on mum, you said it was to make me feel better not guilty." And then relaxed and her cheeks concaved as she pulled hard on the cigarette.

It was Trisha's turn to grin "Come on." Trisha said keeping one eye on her daughter as she took her own lungful from her cigarette.

"Happy now?" Laura asked as she exhaled and grabbed her wine to sooth her throat.

Trisha nodded "Much!"

Laura ran her tongue across her lips, then smiled as she placed the filter back between her lips and as Trisha watched on confidently pulled again.

"Law, I have been thinking..." Trisha hesitantly stated and swirled her wine as the smoke drifted of her burning cigarette.

"Yeah mum?"

"...about your dad's life insurance."

Laura chuckled "Yeah mum, forcing me to smoke and now two seconds later talking of life insurance..." she chuckled "... I just assumed you were going on a world cruise, or something exciting?" She smiled and brought the filter back between her lips and again hit on her cigarette.

A smile again crept across Trisha's face as she nodded, twisted her mouth as she manicured the ash from her cigarette with a now practiced flick, Trisha looked up and studied her daughter, the smoke from both their cigarettes drifting up across their faces "Yes Law, that would be really nice get away from all, but last night sitting here on my own, I was thinking slightly different!" she smiled placed the filter between her lips tilted her head back and inhaled.

"Oh...what mum?" Laura asked leaning forward with her elbows on the table as the anticipation built.

Trisha exhaled a cone and then ran her tongue across her dry lips and picked up her wine and took a quick sip and swallowed loudly. "Well...I was thinking, seeing as the mortgage is paid off on this house, you know...we could buy you your own place with the money?"

Laura's jaw dropped in surprize "Oh, wow mum!" she beamed and rocked back in the chair as the thoughts collided in her brain before shuffling forward again, "but won't you be lonely here?"

Trisha shook her head as she glanced at the empty pack in front of them and frowned, but then as thoughts cross her brain she then grinned "I will be just fine." And she confidently placed the filter back between her lips, her cheeks gently collapsed, and the cigarette crackled and burnt brightly as inhaled the smoke into her body once again.

Chapter 4 Sunday Morning

Laura stirred, yawned, and groaned as she rolled over in bed when she woke up to the loud clunk of the front door shutting echoing up the stairs and to her door. She opened her eyes and stretched and pulled a face as she swivelled up right. She grimaced as she threw off the duvet, bent over to pick up and put on her dressing gown discarded on floor at the edge of the bed. She grabbed the bed as the world moved slightly and slowly straightened up and groaned again as she rearranged herself as she headed out towards the bathroom. She shook her head and ran her tongue along her furry feeling teeth. The hint of last night's smoke covered mixed with too much red wine; she winced her head thumped as the clanking and crashing coming from the kitchen reverberated in her head.

Laura lifted her dressing gown up around her haunches and sat on the toilet with her head in her hands waiting for the dancing world to come to a stop moving. She flushed and gingerly made her way to the bathroom mirror and did not like what she saw. Her face was a tired mess. She washed her hands and then picked up her hairbrush and quickly tried to tidy her bedhead tangle of hair before putting it up in a very messy but purposeful ponytail, and then sniffed the air, and smiled as she followed her nose down the stairs.

"Ugh, Morning mum." She leaned her head against the door frame and beamed as she investigated the kitchen with her eyes.

"Good morning sweetie. How are you feeling this morning?" Trisha smiled brightly.

Laura sniffed the air again "I feel like shite, but," she sniffed the air again, "but that smells delightful!" She smiled as she looked across at the sausages and bacon sizzling in the frying pan on the stove and the beans in the microwave as she walked over picked up the kettle and checked there was water in it before flicking it on.

"Yes, proper Sunday morning food! But I've good cooked too much again; I have got to remember there are now only two of us..." the sentence drifted off as she turned and opened her arms up for a hug.

"That's no problem, if my stomach calms down, I will be starving, I will eat it all as it will sure help with the hangover." Laura smiled as she leaned in for the bear hug.

Trisha smiled, "Yes it will Law," as they hugged each other. When they released their grasp, Trisha stated. "Oh, you don't have to worry about cigarettes this morning, I woke up early and have already been shopping." She beamed before returning her focus to the pan and rotated the sizzling sausages and flipped over the bacon.

Laura screwed her face up and winced as her head hurt as she did "Mum I can say I wasn't overly worried, but yeah, sorry again for smoking your last cigarette." Laura reminded herself and ran her tongue along her teeth.

Trisha chuckled "I should apologise for making you smoke it." She said looking up from the hob with guilt etched across her face as she bit her bottom lip.

Laura smiled appreciatively and nodded, "It is okay mum, I actually enjoyed it, and I did see that made you briefly happy."

"Well yes, except that I forgot that I didn't have one for this morning when I came down!" She grinned. "But not to worry I have already been out and got us a pack each, and I also needed some more milk as I thought we might need a couple of cups of tea and coffee to go with them. So, no problem there."

"Pack each?" Laura queried.

"Well, you never know..."

"Mum surely you can't be that addicted yet. Maybe, like I said it might just be wise to give up again now?"

Trisha sucked air as she wiped her hands on her pinny, "Law, you probably right, you normally are, but actually, I like them for now. So maybe I still need them for a little bit longer, so I thought maybe just buy a pack today which should last a couple of days and we shall see later in the week how I feel?" She asked and twisted her lips.

Laura nodded as if her mum was making perfect logical sense as she took a mug out of the cupboard "Talking of things did you mean it about the other thing?"

"What Law?"

"Oh, mum you know, about looking for houses. Or was it the, you know, the Merlot talking?" Laura asked as she opened the instant coffee and then noisily rummaged around in a draw for a spoon before Trisha tutted at the clattering and quickly handed her a spoon.

Trisha smiled "Oh, I meant that! You need to look on the net or whatever and we can start looking, maybe go and look at some houses next weekend, if you are free?" Trisha grinned and then poked her sausages with a fork.

"Cool mum, I will definitely make myself free for that, that's really kind of you." She smiled sweetly and then shovelled two large lumps of instant coffee into the mug and then poured the water from the kettle into the mug.

"Great, so do you want a morning cigarette with that coffee, as I have already enjoyed one?" Trisha asked enthusiastically.

Laura tilted her head and smiled at her mum and brought the coffee to her lips took a sip, winced at the temperature, and then rolled her bloodshot eyes and smiled at her mum and nodded.

***

"Are you feeling more alive now darling?" Trisha grinned as she carried her hemp bag in lounge.

"Yeah mum, I've had another coffee, shower and got dressed." She smiled triumphantly.

"So am I, but I really needed another cigarette!" Trisha grinned as Laura shook her head disapprovingly. Trisha put her finger in front of her lips telling her to be quiet.

"You and I really don't NEED one Mum; I imagine you COULD do with one?" Laura said emphasising the requirement as Trisha studied her now Marlboro lights pack.

"Well yes I could do with one Laura as I buried my husband of thirty years on Friday, I could do with something." She smiled as she triumphantly she got the filter between her lips. She looked around panic went across her face.

Laura laughed, "Mum did you forget to buy a lighter? Hilarious" she laughed hard and soon Trisha giggled too.

Trisha looked up rather guiltily nodding "Yes Law, I did, I must still be drunk." She shook her head and giggled.

Laura laughed too "It's good to laugh mum, we need to grab these opportunities, use the stove lighter again mum, it worked last night."

"Good thinking. Do you want one too?"

"Err." Laura looked at her mum as if it were a trap "I honestly normally only really smoke a lot if I am drinking...a lot..."

Trisha grinned at her daughter "Please Laura, could you have another cigarette this morning with me?"

Laura studied Trisha's face and her shoulders relaxed, "As it's you mum. Maybe we could drink another coffee with them?" Laura smiled as she took the cigarette from the pack as she shuffled off the sofa and followed Trisha back into the kitchen to find the stove lighter still on the kitchen table.

Trisha swiftly got the cigarette perched between her lips lit, "Oh I do find this uplifting and enthralling." Trisha stated after she exhaled.

It was Laura's turn to chuckle, "What rather than stinking, degrading, and darn right awful, as per your usual complaints about the smell of cigarettes and other people or my clothes after a night out?" Laura asked with her eyebrows raised as Trisha passed her the stove lighter across and she tilted her head forward and quickly got the flame in front of her cigarette.

Trisha shook her head, "Law, not now, we now have to enjoy the moment!" She stated as her chest lifted as she inhaled again, and as she exhaled out in front of her, Laura nodded and wryly smiled and nervously dragged on her cigarette.