Life Gave Him Lemons

LIFE GAVE HIM LEMONS

LIFE GAVE HIM LEMONS

Life had given me lemons. Jessie and I had only had about five good years of marriage before she got pregnant. It was a surprise we did not welcome at first. Neither of us had said we particularly wanted children. After nine months of morning sickness, pain, urgent need to pee, and a hard childbirth; Jessie was mad at the world. Me getting her pregnant but her having to bear all the physical uncomfort was NOT FAIR! As the main and pretty much only outlet for her anger, I suffered greatly, in silence. Once our child and Jessie were home, Jessie relinquished almost all childcare duties to me except breastfeeding which she refused to do. My joke about at least she had bigger tits now got me a slammed door in my face.

By caring for our baby whom I named Jane after my maternal grandmother, I got a whole new perspective on having children. I loved being a father and I loved my time with our daughter. The only time that Jessie did much to handle Jane was when we had company. All of a sudden, over-worked, mother-of-the-year Super Jessie appeared. She accepted all the accolades and never once indicated that I did very much if anything to help. Everyone she worked with thought she was a saint for having to take care of a child while working because her lazy husband could not make enough money for her to quit work and take off to just be a mother. Poor baby - shit!

You think I am exaggerating about the one-sidedness in the care of our daughter? How about this: Jane never has called Jessie 'Mama.' 'Da-da' was the first word she learned and the first word she used when she needed something.

I pitied Jessie for not doing what she could have done to secure her a significant place in our daughter's heart. My hope was that she would change her relationship by Jane's teen years when women's body issues became important and totally out of my wheelhouse.

Jessie used every excuse she could to avoid coming home before Jane went to bed. Working late, drinks with the 'girls' from the office, movies, concerts, charity events, etc. all helped my wife become MIA four to five nights a week.

I stopped pointing out Jane's milestones of development to Jessie because she didn't seem to care. She had no idea whether Jane was behind, ahead or even with development of other children her age. The crayon pictures on the fridge were of Jane and Daddy, aka me, Lance Eversoll.

A trike accident one day on our sidewalk required an Emergency Room visit. I called Jessie at work, but she never showed up at the hospital. "Keep me informed" was the extent of her involvement. She chided me when we got home for making such a big deal of such a small injury. "It only required seven stitches. "No one made over me for all the stitches I had with the C-section." That was the first time I really lost it. All the resentment I had held back came forward in a tsunami of spit and vulgar words. Jessie's initial shock gave way to the setting up of a brick wall of defense. She was sure that there was no way I could be right about her lack of parenting. She left and didn't come home until the next morning. The living room couch was evidently the limit of her ability to navigate in the house before passing out which is where I found her when I came down for breakfast.

That began the period where our family was split between Dad and Jane versus Jessie. All three of us had our own bedrooms. Jessie and I had our own bank accounts. Jessie so seldom ate at home I only bought foods that Jane and I liked. Jane and I never knew when or if Jessie would be coming home on a daily basis nor did we make a big deal of when she did or didn't.

When it became obvious to me that Jessie was sleeping with other men, I asked her if she wanted a divorce. She was furious. She got in my face and dared me to. I was told that she would get the house, primary custody, alimony and child support. Jessie said she could have a boyfriend move in soon after I left. On the other hand, I would get... well, I would get screwed. The only thing keeping her filing for divorce was the public humiliation and the shame if people, especially her family, knew she was committing adultery.

With all the financial penalties I would have, nothing was keeping me from agreeing on the divorce except that my time with Jane would be restricted. I stuck with the marriage until I couldn't take it anymore. I convinced myself that after we divorced Jessie would want me to take Jane frequently for long periods because she didn't like being with Jane. It was obvious from the infrequent times Jane and Jessie were together that Jane barely knew or cared for her mom. I half-expected Jane to say 'Stranger Danger' whenever she saw her mother.

Jessie's selfish attitude wore me out. I bit the bullet and decided to take her to court and get the divorce. I knew that it would not matter much in the settlement, but I wanted the humiliation value of her cheating to go on the record. I paid for a private investigator to get photographic evidence of her cheating. He said that since she wasn't trying to hide things from me, it would be the easiest spy job he had ever done.

I played my part to set her up. I told her that I had to go out of town on business and it would be her responsibility to care for our daughter herself or use one of our usual babysitters. I was sure she would hire Darlene, our regular babysitter, so it wouldn't interrupt her time with lover-boy.

KARMA GAVE HIM LEMONADE

While she was gone to her boyfriend's apartment, I planned to come back and take all the valuables I had hidden in my safe. I knew that Darlene wouldn't tell on me as she knew the score. I pulled into the driveway. Jessie's car was gone -- that was expected. There was no babysitter's car -- that was not expected. My initial guess was that Jessie had picked up the baby-sitter and would be taking her home.

I entered the house to silence, a novelty given how loudly Jane and Darlene liked to play. I went upstairs to get to my safe in the bedroom and to make sure the babysitter knew I was there. I went to Jane's room and although the light was out, I could see her form in the bed. It was much too early for Jane to be in bed unless she was sick. I put my hand on her forehead. There was no sign of fever. I turned out the light and left Jane in her bed asleep. I snuck back out. Somehow, I must have missed the babysitter downstairs.

I hurried downstairs and shouted, "Darlene, I'm home." No response. My first feeling of dread was that the babysitter had gone off and left Jane asleep and alone. I called Darlene's house and I got Darlene's mom on the phone. She said that Darlene had agreed to sit for my wife, but at the last minute had been rushed to the hospital to have an emergency appendectomy. Darlene's mother had just got back from the hospital herself and was about to go back although the surgery was successful. She didn't know who my wife got to babysit if anyone at the last minute.

My next feeling of dread was that my wife had left our daughter alone. How could my wife have known that Jane would go to sleep early and not wake up until she got home? The answer was both obvious and infuriating: drugs.

I raced upstairs again and tried unsuccessfully to rouse Jane. I saw evidence on the nightstand where some pills had obviously been crushed up. An empty glass of juice was beside it. Jane could not swallow pills yet. Usually, we gave her pills crushed up and juice to drink it down with. I looked around. I saw a whole pill that had been dropped on the floor. I recognized the pill as one of Jessie's prescription sleeping pills. After trying one more time to wake Jane up, I called 911. An ambulance arrived along with a police car. I explained what I had assumed had happened to both the EMT and the police. Jane's vitals were weak, and she was transported immediately to the hospital to get her stomach pumped.

At the hospital, I briefed the police further on where I thought my wife was. My calls to her cell phone had gone to voice mail. I was sure I knew the reason she didn't want to be interrupted by me. When the hospital confirmed that Jane had been given a near-lethal dose of sleeping pills, the officer in charge called for an arrest warrant. I told them her boyfriend's address. I followed behind.

There was a "Bang, Bang, Bang at the door -- this is the police open up!"

Finally, the boyfriend opened the door. His anger changed to fear quickly when they demanded to know where Jessie was. He pointed to the bedroom. The policeman went in quickly and saw she was just beginning to get dressed.

"How dare you come in here and violate my privacy! I'll sue you!"

"Are you Jessie Eversoll?"

"Yes."

"Jessie Eversoll, you are under arrest."

"Arrest, what for? Adultery isn't a crime."

"You are under arrest for giving prescription drugs to someone else, assault of a minor child by giving her sleeping pills, and child abandonment that endangered a child's welfare."

"What do you mean 'endangered?' Where is my daughter?"

"She is in the Emergency Room at Claremore Memorial. If she dies lady, you will probably be charged with Voluntary Manslaughter."

"If she dies? That's not possible. I just gave her enough to sleep. Oh my God, what have I done?" Jessie fainted.

*****

Lance filed for divorce and had Jessie served before the tears from her eyes dried. Given the evidence he had, the courts gave him full custody and he was divorced in record time. The alimony he had to pay and the child support she had to pay were exactly equal -- a wash. She got only 30% of the small amount of assets they shared in common. At least that money would earn interest in the time she was in jail where she wouldn't need it.

It took several months for Jessie to be convicted and sentenced. Then she was moved from the local jail to the state prison about three hours away. Several weeks after she had been in prison, Lance's lawyer received a message from Jessie for Lance and Jane to come visit. She said she wanted to apologize. Lance asked Jane is she wanted to. Jane did. "I want to ask her why she doesn't love us."

They didn't almost recognize Jessie. Her hair was cut short and there was no makeup on her sad face. Prison garb did little to show off her nice figure, now smaller from weight loss.

Through a forced smile, Jessie said, "Thank you both for coming to visit. I owe both of you, especially Jane, an apology. I know it will be hard for you to forgive me, but I hope you can find it in your hearts someday."

"Mommy, why? Why did you try to kill me?"

"Oh, baby, I didn't try to kill you. I only wanted you to sleep while I was gone."

Lance interjected, "Yes, having sex with her boyfriend was more important than our daughter's safety."

Jessie was crying. "You're right. God, how I wish you weren't. I was selfish beyond belief. Neither of you deserved what I did to you, and I deserve even worse to happen to me than being put in jail."

"Mommy, what are you going to do when you get out?"

"I don't know. It will be up to your father as to whether or not I get to see you."

"Jessie, do you want to see her? You didn't before the incident, and you could have seen her every day."

"I know. I just want a chance to make up for what I did. Do something nice for the family I threw away. I owe you two a lot."

"How could you make it up?"

"I could be your live-in nanny, housekeeper, and cook. That way you wouldn't have to pay someone to watch her during the day. I wouldn't need much money. Please give me a chance to make it up to you."

Lance hesitated to answer. Jane beat him to it.

"Daddy, would we have room for Mommy and Lovey too?"

"Lovey? Who's Lovey?"

Lance spoke now. "She's Livy, my live-in girlfriend. You may have seen her. She was my lawyer's paralegal. I'm supporting her while she gooes to law school next year. Jane seems to really like her."

"Yes, Mommy, she plays with me a lot and she's a really good cook. We have lots of fun together."

"You moved on awfully quickly, Lance."

"Jessie, you moved on many months before you got caught. I refuse to feel guilty. I had been deprived a wife and Jane a mother for a long time."

"I will need a job when I get out. No one will hire me with a criminal record. What can I do?"

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When you set up your lemonade stand, I promise we will come by and buy some. By then Jane will have a little brother or sister who might like lemonade too."