Life is Strangebyswiftwind©
Let me start out saying this is the first story I ever wrote. This is a true story for the most part, and it is my interpretation of events and my own views. Also, the names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved.
Life is so strange, and it tends to force us to make choices in so many ways. Often indirections that we don't want to go or in ways we don't believe are right.
Here is my story. My name is John and I'm a disabled man, not physically but not to the point I can't deal with life. I may have bi polar but it is completely under control. My main disability is a cognitive and memory disorder caused by seven skull fractures at four months old but that is another story.
I'm currently a 36-year-old Male who is separated from his wife and planning a divorce. Now normally this would be not very unusual but, I'm also now raising our son who is two and a half year's old. I also do not believe in divorce.
Now this brings me to the main plot in the story. I am Christian and I don't believe in divorce yet I have to get the money up to file.
In order to explain this conflict, I have to go back about five years. I was in a program to help me learn about my bi polar side of my problems and met a lovely lady whom for the sake of this story I will call Pam. Pam was short and skinny approximately 5 feet tall and 100 pounds soaking wet. Pam is very sick mentally tho she is working to control her illness. Now normally I'm a very cautions person but when I saw Pam moving into her apartment I noticed she had only the help of an old lady who did not look like she was much help. I decided to offer to help her move in.
Things developed fast and it was love at first sight. We had talked a lot and one thing led to another and we were married about a year or two later. Things were always a bit rocky as Pam's illness kept flaring up.
There were two times Pam's illness caused her to get very delusional and end up kicking me out of our apartment.
Now this brings me to about three and a half years ago. Things were going great and Pam said she wanted a child. Things went fast and she got pregnant within two months. This was a very hard pregnancy due to Pam had to go off of all her medications in order to protect her unborn child from birth defects as a result of her medications. Upon reaching the second trimester of the pregnancy she was too sick and required going back on her medicine as it was more dangerous to be so sick than her medicine could have caused. During the whole pregnancy she was in a group home.
Some time later after the birth of our son my wife was still not getting her mental health under control and was getting aggressive and paranoid about everything. She would get mad and throw things at me and even accuse me of things I was not even doing. Her illness also causes her to see illusions that are not there. She was so sick that I was starting to be afraid of her and also that she might accidentally hurt our son without realizing it. I had warned her several times I will leave if she doesn't get her aggressive attitude under control.
One day she heard of a joke I had told my aunt and my wife had gotten very mad. I decided I would have to leave before she got so angry one of these days that she would accidentally hurt our son.
I had decided to move back to my parents home and take our son with me. My wife now realizing I was serious about leaving was crying and trying to twist things so that it was my fault. I was fed up with her attitude and could not look in the mirror at myself. I gathered my things, and my son's and left.
Now I left when my son was 11 months old. That was late Jan of 2005, it is now Sept of 2006. I have tried several times giving her an opportunity to show she can be consistent in trying to work things out and treat me with respect. Each time she ended up saying that she was not sure about working things out. I gave up, and she moved to Massachusetts and a month later ended up going to California.
Now I don't like this and feel it is strange how I can be pursuing a divorce when I do not believe in divorce. Life is strange and has forced a path upon me for the better good of my son. I may end up paying for my choice in leaving but at least my son won't have to pay for my staying in a situation that could be dangerous. I feel I chose the only path that I could.