Life Is Too Short Ch. 04

My mind wandered down numerous tangents all through the movie. I wanted to be glad for Allie, but I wanted to be pissed, too. It wasn't that long ago that she said she wasn't ready to date. Then, along comes Lenny. Unless she's really into overweight, out-of-shape, bald guys, he was way below her level, in my humble opinion. Maybe she just didn't think of me that way? Maybe I mistook her friendship for something greater? Maybe I... ah, shit! This hurts when it shouldn't have. At least Marci was with me, and that wasn't a bad thing.

Damn.

I called Marci in the morning to see if she was available for the wedding. Fortunately, she was and I was relieved that I wouldn't be going stag. I was a bit embarrassed that I hadn't asked her before, but as is typical for her, she was understanding.

*****

I thought I was going to be familiar with everyone at the wedding, but I didn't know the usher who seated us towards the back. Allie saw us come in and there was plenty of time before the ceremony began, so she came over to greet us.

"Hi, guys! You must be Marci, I've heard lots of good stuff about you. I'm Allie."

"Hey Allie. Likewise. Ted talks about you constantly. I'm glad we finally get to meet."

"Yeah, me too. We'll have more time to chat at the reception. I better get back to my seat before Lenny has a bird."

I couldn't take my eyes off of them during the service. Lenny had his arm around her, and they looked completely comfortable together. I developed a new mantra in my brain: "Be happy for her. Be happy for her."

It wasn't working yet. I looked at Marci, smiled, and squeezed her hand. I cherished the beautiful woman seated with me and committed myself to be content. Marci made me feel loved and wanted, and my sincere desire for Allie was that she would find happiness too.

Marci looked at me as if she were trying to read what I was thinking. Damn, was there one of those cartoon clouds over me revealing all my thoughts to the world? I smiled at her and kissed her cheek, then turned my attention back to the wedding. I only wished I could control my brain to focus on the lovely couple uniting in marriage. Instead, my gray matter was consumed with thoughts of Marci and Allie.

The reception was in the church social hall, so the guests at the wedding were dismissed in an orderly fashion to go through the receiving line. Everyone was then free to find their assigned seats in the hall. Allie and Lenny were already at their table about halfway across the room when Marci and I came in. Kelsi pulled us to the table where we would be seated with her household. Just as we sat, I heard Allie behind us.

"Hello again. I see you found your seats. I was hoping we'd be at the same table."

"Me, too," I said. "But it looks like my family and I were all assigned together."

Allie turned to Marci. "After sitting in the sanctuary for so long, I think I need to visit the ladies room. How about you, Marci?"

"Sure. I'll join you. Kelsi, how about you?"

"Absolutely."

Bret raised the age-old question. "Why do women always have to go together?"

"Son, the older I get, the more I ask why women do just about anything they do."

After a few moments, Kelsi returned alone. "I think those two are going to talk awhile before the food is served. They seemed anxious to get to know each other. And, of course, you're gonna be the main topic, Dad."

"Great. Just what I need."

I saw them off in the corner smiling and animatedly talking the way two happy women talk. What do they have to be so happy about? The more they laughed and occasionally glanced towards me, the more nervous I got.

Finally, Marci returned to her seat.

"So, did you two enjoy talking about all my flaws and secrets so you can make fun of me?"

She smiled and patted my arm. "Make fun? No. It was only good stuff, sweetie."

"Like what?"

"Now, Ted. That's between Allie and me. Don't you worry your little head."

I leaned over to whisper into her ear. "Don't you mean my 'big' head?" She smacked my arm. Nothing escaped Kelsi's notice and she pretended to be disappointed, but her little smile gave her away.

Every guest had the choice between chicken Kiev and salmon. Marci had the salmon, and I had the chicken. So, of course, we shared. I could see Allie and Lenny from my seat, and I noticed they were sharing as well. Damn, that was a lot more intimate than I'd hoped they'd become. I found myself looking towards them too often and I hoped Marci didn't notice.

Once dinner was over and some of the typical wedding activities were out of the way, the DJ opened the floor for dancing. I took Marci's hand and we headed for the dance floor. We gyrated, swayed, talked, smooched, and had a great time through five songs when Marci looked over and noticed Allie at her table.

"Ted, I need a break and Allie hasn't danced. Why don't you ask her while I sit out a few?"

"Don't you think Lenny would object?"

"It doesn't seem to me like Lenny is the dancing type, and she's looking completely bored."

Marci's suggestion struck me as strange, but I was eager to comply so I wandered over to their table.

"Lenny, would you mind if I asked Allie to dance?"

"Oh, hey Ted. Be my guest. My knees don't hold up to that stuff anymore.

"Allie, would you join me?"

"My pleasure."

The DJ had just finished a group of fast songs, and I was relieved that the next three were all good, slow, swaying-to-the-music-holding-a-girl-in-your-arms songs.

We pulled together at safe-dancing distance as the music began.

"Thanks, Ted. Is Marci okay with this?"

"It was her idea, actually. I think I tired her out."

"Oh, I doubt that."

We were extremely comfortable together as we swayed and chatted. Slowly, the embrace brought us closer and closer until her head rested comfortably on my shoulder.

"I miss our movie nights together when I could snuggle into you like this."

"I know. Me, too. Allie, you know you're still my best friend, don't you?"

"Yes, and you're mine as well. We've been each other's strength over some tough months."

After dancing our third song, the tempo took a large leap forward and we parted to return to our own tables. Marci smiled and snuggled in for a warm embrace.

The evening was winding down and Marci and I left to return to her place. We were both tired and enjoyed the comfortable quiet between us. Without much fanfare, we retired to her bed and snuggled to sleep.

*****

I invited Marci to church as I had in previous weeks, but it wasn't something she was interested in. So I went alone to join my family. I hoped that Allie would sit with us, but I wasn't surprised when she joined Lenny once again.

After the service, she sought me out and greeted me with a big hug.

"Hey, there! You and Marci snuck out from the reception before I could say goodbye."

"Oh, Geez. I'm sorry. We were both beat and I didn't see you, so I thought maybe you and Lenny left already."

"Well, no problem. I knew I'd see you today. Are you staying at my place tonight?"

"Yeah, if that's okay?"

"Mi casa, Su Casa. Are you seeing Marci today?"

"No. I'm still going to Kelsi's for Sunday lunch and then I'll probably crash. Marci and I are pretty tired from the trip and we both figured we needed some down time."

"Then I'll cook something light for dinner. Are you up for a movie later?"

"Absolutely. Pick a good one for us."

"Great. See you later, then."

Kelsi worked magic for a wonderful Sunday brunch. With the amount of travel I suffered through over the years, I managed to expand my family's tastes in food, and Kelsi had mastered the art. She made a great breakfast soufflé, scones, and served an assortment of breakfast meats, smoked salmon, and cheeses. It was better than many of the European breakfasts I had enjoyed over the years.

We made plans for my move-in day, which was set for the Monday that was only eight days away. Allie already promised to help, and I needed to check with Marci to be sure she'd be available, too. Kelsi took Junior upstairs to feed him and put him down for a nap, so it was a good time to call Marci.

"Hey, sexy! Did I wake you?"

"Oh, not really. I was just laying here basking in the glow of that wonderful cruise."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. I hope to spend a lot of Kelsi's inheritance and take many more cruises in the future."

"Can't take it with you, right?"

"Right. So, I just wanted to check that you can help with my move-in on Monday after next weekend."

"Yeah. That should be no problem. I should be back by next Sunday morning."

"Back? I didn't know you were going out of town."

"I didn't tell you? I thought I did. Anyway, on Wednesday I'm flying down to Houston for four days."

"Oh, okay. No, I didn't know. Do you have something special going on in Houston?"

"Well, sort of. You remember Gaëtan Charrier from our French office? When he comes to the US, we always spend some time together."

"Oh, I, uh, didn't..."

"Damn! I just sprung that on you, didn't I?"

"I, uh, guess I'm surprised. I just thought, well..."

"Ted, I've been up front with you."

"I know. I'm sorry. It just hit me harder than it should, I guess."

"Well, anyway, I'm good for that Monday. How about if we plan on getting together next Sunday night, to? I probably won't get to see you until then."

"Absolutely. I've gotta run--Kelsi needs me. Call me before you go, okay?"

"You bet. I love you, Ted. You're not upset, are you?"

"No, I'm good. Love you, too."

No, I wasn't good when I disconnected the call. I didn't know what to make of her visit with Gaëtan, but I knew I didn't like it. Once again, I proved to myself that I didn't know how to read what women thought or what they wanted. She told me she wasn't into commitment, and I imposed my desires on my expectations.

"Dad, you okay?"

"Yeah. Junior asleep?"

"Yes, thankfully."

"Baby, I'm gonna take off to get some things done at my house before I head to Allie's tonight. Can we plan on a visit this Thursday for another father-daughter talk? I'll bring Chinese!"

"Oh, oh. What's going on?"

"I have to think some things through, and by Thursday I should be ready for your thoughts. Is that okay?"

"Always, dad. Anytime you need me."

I went to my new house and just puttered around while my mind raced in overdrive. Marci really threw me for a loop, but I guess failed to listen to her wishes. I had to figure out what I wanted to do, and how to do it.

My dinner with Allie was a welcome distraction. She noticed I was somewhat subdued and I blamed jet lag. As we sat on the couch, I reflected on my conversation with Marci. Sitting with Allie, though, just felt so good. The nice thing about snuggling during a movie is that you're not expected to talk, and I welcomed the quiet. Without a doubt, I found great comfort with Allie in my arms as I pondered my path forward.

*****

Thursday night I went back to Kelsi's place with a truckload of Chinese food. As we ate I reflected on how much I treasured these meals with my family. I even enjoyed Pam being there and I was amazed at how she had changed since our divorce. She looked alive again, and never had a nasty thing to say to anyone--not even to me.

When we finished I sat in the family room holding Junior just as he started to get antsy. We all had dinner, but I think he felt left out. Kelsi came in from cleaning up the table and grabbed my hand.

"Come on, Dad. Bring him upstairs for me so I can feed him and put him down for the night. Besides, I wanna chat."

"I thought I called this meeting. Am I in trouble?"

"Always," she laughed. "No, I just wanna chat."

I knew better. She had something on her mind. We climbed the stairs and went into Junior's room. Kelsi whipped out her left breast like there was nothing to it, and I've come to the point where I was comfortable with her. "Dad, instead of staring you could take a picture!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, baby. When you feed him it's just such a beautiful and loving sight that a picture wouldn't do it justice. A painting would be more fitting."

"Relax, Dad. I'm only joking. So, anyway, what's going on with your love triangle?"

"What? There's no triangle."

"You know what I mean. I can tell you love Marci, but I can also see that you're different when you're with Allie. Dad, everyone who knows you can see that look in your eye when you look at Allie. By the way, that includes Marci. She's not blind, you know."

"You're kidding. I'm really that easy to read?"

"The eyes are the window to the soul. You know that. Dad, fix this before people get hurt. At the wedding and the reception, you couldn't stop looking at Allie. Oh, and by the way, she couldn't keep her eyes off of you either."

"And you said Marci saw it, too?"

"Yeah. She wasn't exactly looking sad about it, but she saw it for sure."

"I do love Marci. I have for years. Before you ask, no, I never slept with her until your mom and I divorced."

"Dad, I know that! Don't you think I know the kind of man you are?"

"Well, you accused me of perving on your boob."

"My hands are full. Could you lean closer so I can smack you?" I was already blushing a bit, and her laughter made it worse.

"Sweetie, I hope you think I'm a good man."

"Of course you are. Without question or doubt, I love you and I'm glad you're my daddy."

"You know, if I haven't said it enough, I'm so damn proud of the woman you've grown to be. I imagine now that you have Junior, you're starting to understand just how much I love you."

I took her free hand and we shared tears of love and joy.

"What are you gonna do, Dad?"

"I'm gonna put things right, baby. I'm gonna make things right."

*****

That Sunday, Allie tracked me down after church.

"Ted, what are your plans for the day?

"I did expect Marci, but she called and said she wouldn't be back until this evening, So, I may just stay at the house today and sleep there tonight. With moving tomorrow I need to get things ready. You're still coming tomorrow to help, right?

"Yep. What time do you want me?"

"Bret's taking off work to help, so he, Kelsi, and Pam are coming around 9:00 AM. Marci should be there about the same time."

"Sounds good. I'll be there by 9:00."

I couldn't wait to get settled in my new place. After a solid week to consider everything I had going on, I was sure that the following day would be a key milestone in my life.

Moving day came, and all the people I loved were there to help me. Everyone was a little early so they could get some coffee and bagel sandwiches that I'd promised to supply. Then, it was time to divide and conquer.

Bret's older brother, Ken, came to help as well. Somehow I keep thinking that my 68-year-old body could still do what it did when I was 30. Kelsi and Pam knew I'd try to match Bret's youth, so they protected me when I was too idiotic to do it myself. Ken and Bret moved my new bedroom furniture into the master suite, and then took charge helping with the tools and hobby equipment being moved into the garage from storage. From there, they moved stored furniture into my office, and carried tons of books and supplies in for me to sort through later.

The new living room and dining room furniture was delivered in the morning. Pam's primary job was watching Bret Junior, but she was also in charge of directing the delivery guys for furniture placement.

Allie and Marci handled organizing the kitchen and all the pantry items we'd purchased. A grocery delivery service brought fresh meats, veggies, and anything refrigerated and they took charge of that too.

Kelsi was the bedroom and bath organizer. She unpacked and put away linens, towels, toiletries, and the rest of my clothes that I stored. She made the beds, vacuumed, and made the place livable.

My loving crew made short work of the task. We broke for lunch at noon, and still finished before 3:00. Once finished, Kelsi took a very tired Pam and an even more tired Bret Junior home for a nap. Allie was finishing things up in the kitchen.

Just after 3:00, Marci packed up and got ready to leave.

"Marci, thanks so much for the help. The kitchen and all the stuff you helped with really looks great."

"I loved doing it. That was fun. And the furniture all really fits in well. It looks like Ted's place."

"Yeah, it does."

I noticed her mood shift as her gaze went towards the ground, and her smile looked a little less sparkly than normal. "Actually, it looks like Ted and Allie's place."

"What? What do you mean?"

"Oh, Ted, you know I love you. I have for years. But you're forgetting how well I know you and how transparent you can be. You are madly in love with Allie. I can see it when you look at her. I saw it when you danced together. When the two of you talk, it's magical to watch. But when you talk about her? Oh, Ted, you need to be with her. She's who you need to be with for your retired years. You can't tell me differently."

"Marci, I..."

"I know. I know you love me, too. I also know the way I want to live free and easy will never fit your style. I also know how different your feelings for me are from what you feel for Allie. I've been up front that I don't want a husband or anything near that level of commitment. You, my friend, need that commitment with a life partner. You need it very much."

"Yeah, you're right. But I don't want you getting hurt."

"Are you kidding? I finally got to taste the delicious man I've craved for many years, and he was better than imagined. But, I need to move aside and let you be with the one with whom you belong. I have no regrets. Don't you have any either."

"I can't regret a moment with you. You're an amazing woman, and a finer friend than I deserve. That won't end, will it?"

"No way. Allie and I have become fast friends, so I'm sure we'll be seeing each other. You know, I do have one regret."

"What's that?"

"I really wanted to try that shower room with you."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "Tell you what... you're welcome to bring a friend sometime and try it out on your own. Deal?"

"Yep. And I'll hold you to that. Now, give me a friendly kiss, and go seal the deal with the woman you belong with."

After being so wildly intimate, a friendly kiss seemed a little strange, but totally appropriate. Marci is a smart lady, and she read the signs even better than I did. It was good that she saw the truth and beat me to the punch. I had planned to say the same things to her but she let me off the hook and handled things on her terms. Yeah, I really did love her.

After she left I turned and looked through the front window at Allie as she worked around the kitchen. I felt my heart surge. Goosebumps traveled throughout my body. I was madly, passionately in love, and I needed to tell her right then and there.

"Ted, are you all right? You're wearing a strange look on that face of yours."

"No, I'm good. I really need to talk to you, though."

Suddenly my nerves took over. I started to pace back and forth, roughly messing up my hair as I always do when I'm agitated or nervous. I couldn't put my words together.

"Ted, sit down. You need to tell me what you're thinking and what you're feeling. What's going on in that head of yours?"

I reluctantly sat and looked at her.

"It should have been you with me on the cruise, and me on those dates with you. Not you with Lenny or me with Marci."

"How do you figure?"

"Geez, Allie. I've always been fond of you, and then I stayed with you and Dave. He was pushing us together and then I thought that maybe that didn't sit well with you. I mean, you never mentioned it. Then, Dave passed and I didn't know when to talk to you about us. If I was too early, then I thought you'd hate me. If I was too late, then you may give up on me and start seeing someone--like Lenny. You never said anything, so I thought maybe you weren't into me. Maybe I'm too ugly, or too tall, or just not your type. Maybe you saw me fail miserably with Pam and didn't want any part of that. Maybe you felt some loyalty to Pam, I don't know. We went out to eat, but I never felt comfortable calling it a date. I'm a mess, and I don't know what to do!"