Like An Accident Pt. 01

Sir Augmen was sitting at the head of his dining room table. Like many nights before, he had come alone, spread his papers over the tabletop, and read over the documents. He began to write down in his journal, before tossing the loose leafs into the dying embers of the fire. They smoldered, not fully lighting.

The new moon had made it difficult to see. He didn't dare light a lamp, knowing that the curious servants or worse, his wife, would come down to see what he was doing. His study had recently been rifled through by his new valet. Once the man had been taken care of, Augmen had hidden all his documents and began to inscribe them in code, before discarding them.

He thought of his pipe in his study and felt the craving to smoke. As soon as the idea came to him, he coughed into his sleeve. Pressing his wrist tightly to his mouth, he tried to muffle the hacks as they escaped him.

Rubbing his eyes, he looked at the ink smeared on his fingers. Odd, had he been so messy with his bottles and quill? His hand started to cramp. Sitting up in his chair, he began to stretch and flex his joints and muscles. Even with the frequent breaks he had been giving himself, this seemed to be happening more and more frequently.

As he stared down at the papers, he saw the text had become blurry. Blinking rapidly, he rubbed his eyes again and coughed into his hands. When he tried to suppress the hacks, it made his face and eyes tingle.

Gritting his teeth, Augmen stood up and prepared to make his way to his study. When he put weight on his feet, his leg muscles cramped up and he fell to the ground. Wheezing, he felt his hands and feet start to curl in on themselves. He gurgled as his knees curled into his chest. Holding up a shaking hand, he began to try and drag himself across the rug.

Every bit of fabric felt like a needle's point scraping across his skin. He saw red pooling underneath him. Shaking his head, he saw the red disappear.

The papers! He had to get to them! His legs felt like someone was drawing a blade across them as he forced them straight. Panting, he spat and put his weight on his twisted hand. When he lifted himself up, he let out a hoarse scream as the sharp pains made him see red.

Doors creaked and he saw a pair of feet in slippers. Augen's vision was spotted with black and he laid still. With a raw throat, he tried to call out to them. He coughed wetly and felt drool pool out the side of his mouth.

The new occupant stopped by the table. The unmistakable sound of paper being looked through and folded was too loud in the empty night. Then, the figure knelt by the fireplace and pulled out the smoking documents and casually batting at them to extinguish the flames. They then pulled out a leather tube and rolled up the documents before placing them inside. He began to convulse, slamming his forehead into the table leg.

Sir Augmen died screaming, his cries never heard.

His body was found the next morning, in a pool of his own blood and ink.

"I took the initiative and sent my sister as a messenger to go contact the coroner." Luclos said calmly, having prepared a pot of tea for the Lady Augmen. He had sat her down in the parlor to serve her the drink.

"I would advise you not to touch him, in case he died of a sickness." He offered the Lady a teacup, which she took in trembling hands.

Her movements were mechanical, her face pale as she sipped the brew while it was still steaming until it was gone. She set the cup down on a small circular table in front of her. Despite draining it, she held up her hand to refuse another cup and dabbed at her eyes with a handkerchief.

She leaned back in the chair, lacing her fingers together and staring up at the ceiling. After hearing the news of her husband's demise, she had donned a black dress and had gotten a few papers together, each one inscribed with a prayer.

"Thank you for being here for me, Dirol." She said softly, looking at the teapot and then at the dates she'd written down. "You and Buttercup have been so kind to me these past few months, I'm not sure what I would do without you two." Tears welled up in her eyes and she dabbed at them again.

"I had no idea if he was ill. Surely the thought of the weakness crosses everyone's mind, but you never think it will happen in your household." She dabbed her eyes again. "It's all so sudden. First the children, then their father. Truly I will be alone at this rate."

Luclos took the Lady's hand and bowed his head. Had he been a higher born, he would have been bold and kissed her fingers. Not that the Lady was a princess or highborn herself. She was a Lady in title only, as the riches of the family had gone to take care of her poor health after the carriage accident.

"Not to worry, I am sure your brother in law will be here as soon as he gets the news. And my sister and I will be at your side." He grinned and looked toward the double doors leading into the manor. Giving the hands a gentle squeeze, he quickly released them.

Taking the tray with the tea set, he took it into the kitchen. In the doorway leading into the dining room, he saw the body curled up on the floor and took in a deep breath. It had stiffened and was still fresh, but would be rotting before too long. He'd done what he could to keep the Lady from seeing it.

He set the dishes in the sink and began to fill it up with water. As he stared out the window to the courtyard, he tried to collect his thoughts.

When he began to scrub at the cups, he paused when he saw a shape approaching in the distance. It was a large cart, with three occupants.

"I believe they're here, my lady." He rolled his sleeves back down and dried his hands on a rag. "I see the cart approaching.

"So quickly?" Lady Augmen rose up and dashed to the powder room. She was far from an ugly woman, with a regal beauty even with her hair unkempt and her face free of paint. But it wouldn't do to not look prim and proper for her guests. Luclos resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was no fault of the Lady.

The cart stopped in front of the home. It was being pulled by two regal ink black horses with blinders on. The driver hopped off the cart first.

They were blonde, with their hair slicked back and pulled into a tail. Their hair was the only light thing about them, their eyes beetle black, skin a dark brown. A black neckerchief covered their face from the bridge of their nose down. Their outfit was a black robe, with a silver chain wrapped around their neck. They carried a satchel, with the logo of the coroner stamped across it.

The person in the middle stood a full head and shoulders over the coroner. She was dressed in the grey robes of a Sister of the Sinners. All of her hair was tucked under a scarf covering her head. She had sun damaged skin covered with freckles. Despite her aged face, her eyes were full of life and light.

The last occupant was Buttercup, shorter than the sister, but taller than the coroner. She wore her servant clothes, a simple white button up shirt, black vest and slacks and boots, with the house of Augmen's insignia over her right breast. Her head was shorn, what little fuzz that had come back looking strangely dark. In the rising sun, a pair of brown studs glittered in her lobes, matching her eyes. There was also a beauty mark above her upper lip.

The dark hair and brown eyes was where the resemblance between Luclos and his "sister" ended. He had olive toned skin, his hair long and wavy and pulled into a tail. He was clean shaven for now, but would grow his beard out when his service with the Augmens reached its conclusion.

Lady Augmen came out of the powder room just as Buttercup led the Sister and Coroner inside. She had powdered her face ghostly pale and painted her eyelids and lips crimson. Her expression was stern when she saw Buttercup.

"We're sorry we couldn't be here sooner," The coroner apologized, their voice muffled by the neckerchief. "The steeds were particularly stubborn today." They bowed to the Lady. "It's lovely to see your face, but a terrible time too."

"I will be here for any requests and prayers for your husband's last rites and requests." The sister said, gathering her skirts and curtsying. "As well as taking any potential sins onto myself so that you may have peace."

The Lady seemed to stifle a laugh, but swallowed it down and looked at the servants behind the new arrivals.

"Fetch us all some tea, would you?" She told Luclos. "And could you gather the belongings for the departed?" She directed that request at Buttercup, who nodded and quickly took off.

"I would love some tea!" The Sister chuckled, "I know the three day fast is generally the selected amount of time, but would you like me to take any additional days for you?" She gave Luclos a quick wink before he vanished into the kitchen, preparing a fresh pot.

The trio began talking plans on what to do with the body, funeral rites, and what would happen to the Lady now that her husband had passed. Luclos tuned it out to focus on making the brew. When he brought it back out, he saw Buttercup setting down various items in front of the coroner.

"Ah, I see. It seems that you planned this out quite well!" They exclaimed, before looking to the Lady. "Would you be so kind as to show us the body?"

The Lady inhaled sharply, before nodding. "Of course, this way." She held her hands in front of her stomach and began walking toward the dining room. "Luclos found him this morning, it's tragic, simply tragic." The conversation trailed off as they vanished inside.

Luclos shot Buttercup a look.

"Really?" He asked, crossing his arms. "You had to go and get them involved?"

"I had to come up with an excuse!" She hissed through her teeth. "The client was waiting at the morgue and wanted to come along."

Luclos frowned, brows coming together. "Why was he there?"

Buttercup shrugged. "I don't know, but he was hellbent on coming to be at her side. Luckily the sister and coroner pointed out that it would be improper for him to be there before the funeral rites."

"Not being very stealthy then," Luclos crossed his arms and exhaled through his nose. "Could blow the whole mission if he's not careful." His eyes went to the staircase that led to the upper half of the manor, where the nobles actually lived. A study, living quarters, and a library had become a second home to him in the past months.

"That's why we do the legwork," Buttercup wrapped her arms around him from behind and pressed her cheek between his shoulder blades.

"All the running does you no good if you trip at the finish line." He bowed his head and brought her hands up to his lips, kissing her fingers.

"Look at you, treating me like a lady." Buttercup slid her hands to his shoulders, working her fingers against his tensed muscles. He let out a groan of appreciation, tilting his head back and relaxing against her. At the increased contact, he felt himself twitch.

She stopped her rubbing and hooked her arms under his, joining her hands at his stomach. He ached for her hands to go lower.

"Now who's not being stealthy." She murmured into his back, before her grip loosened. Her fingers brushed against his hips and he sharply inhaled. They both separated when the doors to the dining room opened again.

Lady Augmen stepped out as the coroner and sister carried the wrapped up body of the Lord between the two of them. She stared at Luclos and Buttercup.

His heart seized when he thought he saw a glimmer of suspicion in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry for your loss!" The Coroner's voice broke through the tension. "I will make sure he's well taken care of and put next to his children when he's finally laid to rest."

Buttercup rushed to open the door for them. The Lady followed the two, pausing at the doorway and turning to look back at Luclos.

"Will you two be able to look after the house while I accompany them to the plot?"

"Of course, my lady," Luclos and Buttercup said in sync, both bowing to her.

"Your home is our pride and joy," Buttercup said, laying her words on thick as always. "If we were unable to make it pristine, we would be poor servants." When she looked up, the Lady let out a soft "hmph" and gathered her skirts. Luclos took a parasol and escorted her to the cart.

When the body was placed in the back, she let out a heavy sigh. "Thank you for helping me in my time of need. I'm sorry you must go through this." She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek, leaving paint on it. He waited until they were close to the gate before he rubbed it off.

Heading back into the house, he saw Buttercup sitting in one of the parlor chairs, resting her chin on the back of her hands.

"Not even a wake or a visitation." She tsked and shook her head. "But I guess she was just as relieved as our client that he's dead."

Luclos rolled his eyes. "You're just as cynical as Bramble at marriage." He looked at the tea cups, picking them up and setting them back on the tray with the kettle. "It was just her, remember?"

"I do," Buttercup rose from the chair and ran a hand over her shaved head. "I do know that she wanted to do something to keep her husband from acting out."

"It'll grow back," He assured her, rubbing the stubby scalp. "You don't look bad with dark hair."

She stuck her tongue out at him, then looked out toward the countryside. "It's a shame, I liked it here. But the client will probably be here soon, let's get the papers together."

He nodded and grunted affirmatively, before following her up the stairs.

The door to the study was locked, but Buttercup pulled out the key and unlocked it. It was a thick iron key, with a strange set of tumblers.

"He had it?" Luclos looked down at the parlor and then followed Buttercup inside. It ever ceased to amaze him to see someone who had such a large space to themselves. Even the Lady of the house wasn't allowed inside. They had been chased out if they ever came inside.

It took a hunting trip and him scaling the manor in the dead of night for Luclos to be able to plant the poison that ended the Lord's life.

The study had been cluttered when they first arrived, with books and papers scattered over nearly every surface. In the past couple months, when the idiot who had arrived after them had been caught rifling through the documents, everything had been cleaned up. Now the shelves were almost bare.

A few paintings hung over the hearth, showing the Augmen family. Sir Augmen in the peak of health, with chestnut hair and storm grey eyes. He was dressed in hunting garb, one hand tucked into his jacket, his other on his daughter's shoulder.

His daughter, Primrose, stood between her father and mother. Her flaming hair was pulled back with a bow. She had her father's grey eyes, but they were clouded to suggest blindness. Her dress was full of ruffles and lace.

Lady Augmen sat in a chair, with her dark hair pulled back with a bow like her daughter. Her dress seemed just a restrictive, with a high collar and a brooch around her throat. She held her son on her lap.

The young boy, Bradford, had his mother's dark hair and his father's eyes. He wore a gown that trailed past the length of his body. He clutched a small amulet in his pudgy hands.

There were several more portraits on the walls. There was no doubt in Luclos' mind that once Bradford was grown, he too would have had a portrait of his family done.

"Yeah. In a little bag around his neck." Buttercup's voice broke through his line of thought. She gestured to her chest as she spoke. "What did you use to do the job anyway?" Buttercup went straight for the fireplace, not even looking at the portrait.

Luclos went to the desk. It was ornately carved, with stories and murals carved into various surfaces. Time had worn it down, but it was obvious a lot of time had gone into the crafting of it. The writing utensils had been hastily placed, the ink spilled on the surface.

He went to the drawers and pulled them open, finding the pipe and tobacco pouch that Lord Augmen had often used. Taking the bag, he slipped it into his own.

"Never took you as a smoker," Buttercup pulled up a few loose bricks from the hearth. She unearthed a few journals, looseleaf papers, and a leather tube. Stuffing them in her bag, she sat and looked through the other holes in the bricks.

"I'm not," Luclos looked through the drawers for any other pouches or pipes. "Ice made that mix of tobacco when I went into town to get the Lord more."

"Oh..." Buttercup finished packing her bag. "I think that's all the papers. If I grab much more it's going to look suspicious." She wiped her brow and stood up straight. "You done on your end?"

Luclos nodded, stretching his arms above his head and looking out the window to the courtyard. "I'll prepare a note to the Lady to let her know our services have been contracted elsewhere."

He paused when Buttercup's arms snaked around his waist. She pressed herself against his back and put her chin on his shoulder. Kissing his neck, she let it linger until he let out an appreciative sigh. Her teeth grazed his neck and he sharply inhaled.

Putting his hand over hers, he guided it to his groin. She rubbed it through his pants, her fingers going to the waistband. When she hooked her thumb in it, he turned to face her.

Covering his mouth with hers, he ran his hands over the light fuzz on her head. His hands trailed down to her back and to her rump. Squeezing greedily, he pulled her to him.

She nibbled at his lower lip, before pulling away to kiss his bare chin and jaw. Before she could go lower, he put a hand on the back of her head and pulled her back to his mouth. He rubbed against her, feeling his pants become tight. His head swam as he felt his cheeks flush.

Leaning against the desk for support, he let out more appreciative moans as she ground against his crotch with her own. He opened his legs and slid a hand up her shirt, using the other to slip her pants off.

Her bare flesh was so warm to the touch. Lifting his own shirt, he let their bare stomachs touch. As their heat intermingled, he slipped the top over her head.

Despite her small breasts, the Augmens had insisted on Butterup wearing a breast band. The cords to tighten the garment had been tied, but hung loose next to her ribs.

Luclos noticed that Buttercup's beauty mark had been smeared over her upper lip. He smacked his lips and tasted charcoal.

"Don't you get that dirty!" She hissed, stepping out of her pants. "I'm not going to replace it."

He rolled the shirt and used it to cushion his head as he laid back on the desk. The ink, while mostly dried, would likely smear over the back of his own clothing.

"Tell you what," He promised, "If I do, I'll buy you two."

She straddled him. "Careful about making promises you can't keep." Leaning down, she nibbled on his neck, before biting hard.

Hissing with pain, he let out a groan and grabbed her rear, pushing her down onto his clothed crotch. He ran his nails up her back, grabbing the strings of her breast band and untying them. She sucked hard on his neck, making his moan loudly.

When she straightened, the band slid down. The petal pink of her nipples matched her flushed cheeks. She panted and continued to grind against him.

Running his fingers over her ribs, he slid a hand over her breast. Tracing his fingers over the surface, he brought them together over the tips of her nipples. They grew erect under his touch, the areola darkening and swelling.

She gasped, and he felt her grinding slow. At first he thought she was stopping, but he realized her crotch was rubbing longer against his. Even through the fabric of his trousers, he could feel her becoming wet. Her breasts began to jiggle.

Sitting up, he brought one nipple into his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around it, before sucking and grazing his teeth over it. She moaned, panting as she continued to grind against him. He slid his hands behind her and pulled the small clothes down, exposing her cheeks.