Linda's Secret

Not a BTB this time so those of you who don't like an RAAC move on. Not much sex either. No violence. Just a sad reflection on today's morels.

TO ALL YOU NITPICKERS: (You know who you are)

I have used MS Editor and Grammarly. I did try for an editor but after being told six times they were too busy and twice no response at all I thought Fuck it and published anyway.

No joke this time you didn't seem to like my jokes.

To everybody else enjoy and thank you for taking the time to read my scribbles.

Introductions:

Me; Jake Walker. Age=45

Wife; Linda Walker. Age =42 Looks like 30.

It was Friday night and I sat at the back of the club in a dark corner watching my wife of twenty-two years destroy both myself and our marriage. She was sitting laughing and making out with her line manager Terence Long. I had had my suspicions for a few weeks now, first, it was the drop off in sex then the arguments about nothing. Finally the late-night working and the new ''I'm just going out with some of the girls for a drink or two'' then coming home after midnight. I did the usual things, checked her underwear, and looked at her phone, nothing out of the ordinary as far as I could see. But I knew, so tonight (she was just having a drink with a few of the girls from work) I waited outside her office building watching her car. I nearly missed her as she didn't use her car, they passed right in front of me in his car.

As I watched them act like a couple of teenagers, his hand was under the table and I was sure in her pants. She was sitting back with a look of rapture on her face. I had it all recorded on my phone and was getting ready to leave, the club and my marriage. When he stood up and asked her to dance. The look she gave him was the look she used to give me when we were first married. I knew then there was no chance of forgiveness or reconciliation she was his completely. It didn't matter whether they had fucked yet or not, she was gone. At that moment I realised she had killed the final glimmer of love for her I had left. As they were dancing and had eyes only for each other I walked over to their table dropped my wedding ring into her glass and walked away. I drove home knowing that a shitstorm was brewing but I wasn't going to be here when it burst. Knowing it would come to this I had made some plans and had my bags packed and ready. When I got home (it was a rental until we found a place we liked to buy. When the twins went to college we sold the big house she just had to have and went looking to downsize. With the money we had left (about $300k), we were going to tour Europe and see all the sights we had promised ourselves. I put the bags in the back of my old pickup together with my tools, put my laptop on the passenger seat and turned off my phone. I didn't want to listen to a bunch of lies and the usual excuses.

I went to a motel for the first night where I pulled up our finances and split them 50/50 after paying off and cancelling our credit cards. I moved all but $10 to another account (my savings account for her birthdays and Christmas presents) I had cleared out my office safe containing $10k and my pistol which was in the glove compartment. Wrote out my resignation and emailed it to my boss with the reason why, I told him my company car was at my address with the keys in the garage on a hook. I apologised and said I would let him know where to send my final check. I am or have been the company's chief engineer building turbines for the Navy and civilian market. I knew my assistant could take up the slack so I wasn't leaving them in a bind. I got undressed showered and went to bed, shortly afterwards my sister Sarah called and wanted to know what was going on. I just told her to ask Linda and hung up, it was the best night's sleep in weeks. The doubts and suspicions were finally over and I could rest and start to put it all behind me.

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Linda:

I was having a marvellous time dancing with Terry (don't call me Terence) and was looking forward to going to his room with him to spend the night for the first time. Sure, we have had quickies at lunchtime and when I was supposed to be out with the girls but this would be different a whole night. I wasn't looking forward to the conversation I would have to have with Jake tomorrow so I put it to the back of my mind. Terry had assured me Jake would come around when he realised if he didn't I would leave him and he would have to pay me spousal maintenance and end up living in a shoe box. I would have it all. My loving husband whom I adored and a young sexy lover to keep me satisfied. I did wonder if when it was all out in the open it would be quite so exciting. I knew half of the fun was sneaking around and getting one over on Jake. I was looking forward to going to our room and getting my brains fucked out all night. Terry had already given me one small orgasm fingering me under the table and I was ready for more. We danced a couple of more tunes and went back to our table, Terry downed his drink and motioned me to do the same. I picked up my glass and as I tilted it back I noticed something inside. I fished it out with my finger and saw that it was a wedding band. I suddenly felt a shiver go down my spine. I turned on the fixed table lamp Terry had turned off earlier for privacy. (so, he could finger my pussy) I looked at the inscription on the inside of the ring.

''To my darling Jake from his loving bride Linda''

I nearly choked, I sat there just looking at the ring and memories of our wedding and honeymoon came flooding back. Oh, fuck what had I done Jake must have been here and seen us together and realised that I was having an affair. All thoughts about tonight vanished as sanity returned, I loved Jake, how could I ever have thought of making him a knowing cuckold? What was wrong with me had I been hit by the Martian slut ray? I looked around in panic perhaps Jake was still here, I needed to throw myself at his feet and beg forgiveness. Of course, he was long gone. Terry took the ring from my trembling fingers and read the inscription.

''This changes nothing, so now the little cuck knows about us you were going to tell him tomorrow anyway. He'll just have to accept I'm the alfa male and he is the beta.''

I looked at Terry in a new light, he had never disrespected Jake before. at that moment I realised it wasn't just about bedding me he got off on destroying the husband and our marriage. I was furious at both him and myself for allowing myself to be taken in and seduced so easily.

''You fucking asshole Jake is twice the man you'll ever be I don't know what I saw in you. Did you fucking drug me or what.''

''Yeah I drugged you the first time but after that, you couldn't get enough you're just a bitch in heat.''

As he said this he started laughing, then stopped as a man put his hand on Terry's shoulder and spoke.

''Ok, asswipe you just admitted to a felony in front of at least a dozen witnesses and as you drugged her for sex that is considered rape. Now sit down and wait for the deputy to get here. I'm Sheriff Mason and you're under arrest.''

He then pushed a very frightened-looking Terry down onto his seat. He then took out a notebook and pen (I noticed he also had a sidearm on his belt) and started to ask for witnesses. Several people came forward saying they had heard what he had said. When the sheriff asked me if I would be prepared to testify I agreed gave him my name and address and asked if I could go.

''Little lady I don't know what you intend to do but if you want to save your marriage. I suggest you throw yourself on the floor at your husband's feet and beg for forgiveness.''

''That's exactly what I intend to do I just hope it's not too late.''

I dashed out of the club trying to phone Jake but my number had been blocked. ''Shit''.

I waved down a cab and asked him to step on it for double the fare.

When I got home it was completely dark. The garage door was up and I could see Jake's company car in there but not his pickup. Shit, I'm too late he's gone. I phoned his sister Sarah we were great friends and I thought of her as my sister.

''Hi, Linda why are you calling so late is Jake alright?''

I couldn't answer and just burst into tears. I finally managed to blurt out.

''I don't know I've done something stupid and Jake has left me and I can't get hold of him, I don't know what to do.''

''I'm sure it can't be that bad, I'm on my way over make some coffee with plenty of sugar and sit tight.''

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Sarah:

I ended the call with Linda and called Jake, he answered on the second ring and sounded terrible.

''Jake where are you Linda's going mental looking for you what did she do?''

''It's best you ask her.''

''I intend to but she sounds frantic and you won't answer her calls, why?''

''As I said ask her now let me get some sleep.''

And he ended the call. I got dressed and went round to their house, it was only a twenty-minute drive. When I got there the first thing I noticed was Linda's car was missing as was Jake's truck and his company car was in the garage. I tried the door it was open so I let myself in shouting that I had arrived.

When I walked in I saw Linda lying on the floor sobbing. I helped her up and sat her in the recliner. I then went and made us some coffee, when I brought it in she had stopped crying.

''Ok, Linda spill the beans what happened? I called Jake and he wouldn't tell me anything and said to ask you. He sounded really down now what's going on?''

I finally coaxed the story out of her and didn't know whether to comfort her as she seemed really ashamed of what she had done. Or scratch her eyes out and beat the shit out of her for hurting my brother. I decided to do neither and sat there just looking at her, she was a mess. I could excuse the first time as she was drugged but she went back for more. That I couldn't forgive and neither would Jake. The asshole who started this by seducing Linda was being taken care of by the law and would spend a long time in prison. (I didn't envy him that. So, he would pay) But what to do about Linda, could they put it behind them? I couldn't when Tracy cheated on me, I dissolved our common law partnership and kicked her out. I was almost certain Jake would do the same. Then there were the kids how would they take it? Wendy would cut her Mom off she was a daddy's girl but Mike was for his Mother, would he take her side? It would devastate Jake if Mike turned against him for what Linda had done. What a clusterfuck. I decided to play piggy in the middle and if possible get them back together without alienating Jake. I took Linda up to her bedroom (she could hardly walk) undressed her and put her to bed. I needed to talk to Jake but it would have to wait until morning.

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Jake:

I woke up feeling better than I had for weeks, It's surprising what taking affirmative action will do for your mood. I didn't want to live in a motel so I called Sarah to ask if I could live with her for a few days.

''Hi, Sarah, where are you?''

''I'm at your house at the moment Linda's still asleep I thought as it was Saturday I'd let her sleep in. Where are you?''

''I'm at the Motel on 401 I was just going to ask if I could stay at yours for a while until I sort this out.''

''Of course, but you have a home here.''

''Not anymore did she tell you what she did.''

''Yeah and I hate her for it but you don't know it all, there's more to it than you know. The asshole that was with her confessed he drugged her and the Sheriff arrested him as he heard the whole argument and has witnesses.''

''Doesn't matter, I saw the way she looked at him and knew it was over. She looked at him the way she used to look at me when we were on our honeymoon.''

''I don't know what you saw or thought you saw but she is genuinely heartbroken, won't you at least talk to her and listen to what she has to say? It might give you closure and make it easier for you to move on.''

''Not yet it's still raw, I'm hurting so bad I just want it to end. How could she do this to us, was I such a bad husband she had to find someone else? Is one man just not enough, am I such a lousy lover she needed more? I just can't take it I want it to end. Can you understand that?''

''Of course, I can I went through exactly the same thing you're going through now when I found Tracy had cheated on me. I wanted to kill both of them, I wanted to crawl into a bottle and never come out, I even considered suicide.''

''That sounds pretty good at the moment, Remember that program about a mash unit in Korea. Remember the song?

''Suicide is painless,

it brings on many changes.

And I can take or leave if I please.''

Do you remember it, at the moment it sounds pretty good to me bang and no more pain.''

''Jake don't even joke about it it's not funny.''

''Oh, but it is and it's a certain way out.''

Sarah started to say something when I turned the phone off. I thought about my pistol in the glovebox downstairs. Yes, that would do nicely Linda would have to live with the guilt for the rest of her life. I packed my bags checked out put the bags on the back seat of my truck and drove off. At first I didn't know where I was going then I remembered the quarry so I drove there and parked. I took the pistol out of the glove box and checked to make sure it was loaded. I sat there looking at the pistol trying to make a for and against list for suicide.

For:

All my troubles would be gone in an instant, no more pain, no having to deal with a cheating wife, and no divorce to worry about.

Against:

The cheating cunt would get everything, (I didn't like that why should she be rewarded for cheating) My sister would be devastated, (our parents had died long ago) then there were the children. They didn't deserve to be orphans even though they were now adults they still needed a guiding hand now and then.

I put the gun away and phoned my sister.

''Thank god I thought you might have done something stupid I checked the gun safe and saw your pistol wasn't there and thought the worst. Where are you now I tried the motel and they said you checked out.''

''I'm at the old quarry sitting in my truck, I was thinking of taking the easy road. So, I did a for and against list in my head, it was a close-run thing until I thought about Dawn and Mike I couldn't do that to them it wouldn't be fair. So, you tell me what do I do now? You've been there so tell me what to do. Please.''

''Listen Jake there's no ready answer. You have to give it time, go to my house, have something to eat and get some sleep I'll be home as soon as I can. At the moment Linda can't be left alone. I know it sounds like I'm taking sides but I'm not. You both mean a great deal to me but if push comes to shove I'll be in your corner. Now go and call me when you get there.''

So having nothing else to do that's what I did.

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Sarah:

I put the phone down. I was still shaking I had missed losing my brother by a hair's breadth. I looked at my hands they were still shaking. My emotions were all over the place and I started crying, I don't know why it was just a release I suppose. Crying had turned to sobs and I felt arms surround me and I felt some comfort from them.

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Linda:

I woke up and looked around as if it had all been a nightmare. Jake's side of the bed hadn't been slept in and I stroked and smelled the pillow. There was just a trace of Jake there and I clung to his memory. What a stupid slut I have been what if Jake won't take me back? These were some of the thoughts running through my head. I shook them off, put on my robe and briefly wondered who had undressed me and put me to bed. Last night came rushing back and I almost fell to my knees grabbing the door at the last minute. I wondered if Sarah was still here if she stayed the night. I made my way to the stairs intending to make coffee when I saw Sarah sitting on the couch crying. I made it down the stairs sat next to her took her into my arms and made shooshing noises like when the children were babies. She was sobbing and trying to talk at the same time, I couldn't make out what she was trying to say so I just held her. After a time she stopped crying and pulled away from me.

''Sorry for that but I've been on an emotional roller coaster all morning.''

''It's me that should be sorry I've caused all this it's all my fault. I don't know what got into me I never in a million years thought I would cheat on Jake but I did and I don't know why.''

''You better come up with something more positive than that when you speak with Jake he's close to the edge and it will only take a small push to put him over.''

''You've spoken to Jake how is he where is he is he coming home? And what do you mean close to the edge?''

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Sarah:

I relayed my conversation with Jake and when she realised she had nearly caused his death she at first looked vacant then passed out. I was a nurse so I knew what to do. I laid her on the couch and put some cushions under her feet so that the blood would go to her heart. I then went and made some coffee and brought back coffee and a wet towel. I hoped the smell of coffee would wake her as I wiped her face with the towel. Eventually, she came round and sat up but she looked vacant. I tried talking to her but got no response. I pinched her neck quite hard enough to cause pain and got no response. I tried slapping her with no effect she was totally catatonic. There was no more I could do so I called 911 and asked for an ambulance. I had seen this before with PTSD patients. She had withdrawn to a place inside her where there was no pain. Sometimes they would come out of it in a short time, sometimes they would drift in and out at odd times. And sometimes it was permanent. And they would withdraw from reality for good, some went back to their childhood and happier times thinking they were still children and acting that way. I got into my car followed the ambulance to the hospital and checked her in. The doctor asked me what had caused her condition and I explained the last twenty-four hours and what Jake had nearly done. He suggested Jake needed to check into a hospital to be assessed for PTSD as well before he hurt himself. When they asked for her insurance details I said I would have to contact her employers and Jake for the details. I called Jake and told him about Linda, and his attitude changed immediately.

''What hospital, I'm on my way.''

I looked at my phone and thought there might be a chance after all. He arrived twenty minutes later but the doctor wouldn't let him in. He thought it might cause more harm than good. He said he would know more after the resident psychiatrist had spoken to her. Then an administrator called in to complete her admission papers. When she asked about insurance Jake opened Linda's purse and rummaged about and produced her company insurance card. The administrator took it and left saying she would be back later. Jake explained he had resigned and wasn't sure he and Linda were still covered. He then called his boss to rescind his resignation. His boss sounded relieved and told him as it hadn't gone to HR yet nothing had changed.

Linda had been given a heavy sedative and was out cold so they let us sit with her. I noticed Jake had taken her hand and was gently stroking it, it brought a smile to my face. I wondered what had driven Linda to start an affair it was so unlike her, she loved Jake as much as I did so I didn't understand. I told Jake I needed to go home to shower and change and get something to eat and then I would be back.

As they expected Linda to wake up Sunday morning we were told to wait outside for the psychiatrist to arrive. We were both famished by then so went to the canteen for some breakfast. When we returned the psychiatrist was in the room with Linda so we waited for him to come out. When he did he took us into a separate room to tell us his findings. First, he asked us to describe what had happened no matter how painful it might be he needed to know everything. We sat and told him everything from the moment Jake had seen her with another man to the present including Jake's trip to the dark side. He said he had spoken to Linda but was unable to get any response, she was completely withdrawn. He said she was suffering from a form of PTSD and her mind had wiped out recent events and shut down to protect itself. She was transferred to a psychiatric clinic under the same doctor. I had moved back home and went to work much as before, I did visit Linda each Sunday but she remained unresponsive. One Sunday her doctor intercepted me before I went to her room.