Linda's Secret

''Mr Walker there has been some progress in your wife's treatment. Yesterday she asked the nurse where she was and where you were. I immediately went to see her, she has much of her memory back up to the start of the affair. She seems to have no knowledge of her affair she has completely wiped it from her memory. Mr Walker, if after a few months she still has no memory of her affair it puts us in a unique position to salvage your marriage. The woman you're about to visit is the woman she was before she went astray. Am I right in thinking only you, me, your sister and your boss know the truth?''

''Yes, that about sums it up what do you have in mind?''

''We could concoct a story about a nervous breakdown brought on by overwork and a hormone imbalance. Which by the way she did have which may have caused her to go off the rails. It is my belief that Linda was ill when she took a lover and was not totally responsible for her actions. The drug he gave her together with her hormone imbalance may well have lowered her resistance to seduction. It was only your giving her your wedding ring that snapped her out of it. And when she realised she was responsible for your near-suicide her mind couldn't cope with the guilt and she shut down. If it is brought to the surface again she may well go so far down the rabbit hole we will never get her out.''

''If what you say is true and Linda wasn't responsible for her actions due to illness I can't in all conscience walk away or I would be the one breaking my vows. I swore to look after her in sickness and in health so I better step up to the plate and honour my responsibilities. How are we going to play this?''

''I can't tell you what to do but I have a suggestion. If Linda's amnesia persists past the three months I mentioned and you want to stay together you should leave the district or better still the state. And start your lives again. Get a new job or transfer if you can let Linda get a job to keep her occupied and stay away from here. I am afraid if you stay here familiarity will refresh her memory and cause a complete breakdown. She needs to be kept away from old friends and especially from her current employment. I know she might be called to testify against Terence Long but I can testify that she is medically incapable of taking the stand. Doing so would permanently damage her mental health. You on the other hand may be called to testify, if so keep it from Linda. Now I've given you enough to think about so go and visit your wife.''

I went to my wife's room but she wasn't there. I asked an orderly and he said she had gone into the garden. I went outside and Linda was sitting at a picnic table staring at the horizon. I took the seat opposite her and took her hands in mine, she just looked at me and smiled. My heart broke all over again that smile was the one she used to give me so long ago, the same one she had given to Terry just a few short weeks ago. I both loved and hated her at the same time. I had to remind myself this was my old Linda and not the Linda that had broken my heart. If this was going to work I would have to put my pain behind me, this new Linda didn't deserve my anger she needed my compassion. I did wonder if I would ever be able to completely forgive her let alone make love to her again. Then she spoke.

''Jake it's so nice to see you, what happened to me and why am I in here?''

''I thought the doctor had explained it all to you.''

''He did but what he said didn't make any sense. He said I had a breakdown at work brought on by stress and a hormone imbalance is that right?''

''Yes baby I'm afraid so. But the good news is you are getting better. But you have to stay here for the time being so that he can keep an eye on you and adjust your medication. Now you're back in the real world I'll come and see you every day I promise.''

I lifted her hands and kissed them. She sighed and went back to staring at the horizon.

The three months seemed to fly by with Linda getting better by the day. She could now hold a conversation and we talked about everything. She was still concerned about her memory loss. But the doctor and I both told her not to try and remember as this could cause another nervous breakdown.

I went to see her doctor at his request.

''Mr Walker I think your wife has accepted her loss of memory and is ready to take her place at your side once again. This said I know you have doubts about you being able to forgive her but she is not the same person that hurt you so badly. So, when you have bad days and want to lash out at her remember won't understand why. As far as she is concerned she has done nothing wrong. So, on those days bite your tongue and say nothing. I'm going to discharge her into your care so please be gentle with her she's very fragile at the moment. As for sex let her come to you, be patient and above all be gentle. Let her take the lead and set the standard. I would advise just cuddling up until she feels ready for sex. I haven't told her yet about her discharge and I won't until you have everything in place. Just let me know when and I'll do the rest.''

As I drove home I tried to analyse my feelings about her coming home. I was glad she had made so much progress but wasn't sure I was ready to live with her knowing what she had done. I was even more worried she might do it again. In preparation for her homecoming and starting our new life, I asked my boss for a transfer to our offices in the Portsmouth Naval Shipyards Maine. He said there was a vacancy as the company's area representative to the Navy. The job fits me perfectly as it is similar to my present position liaising with customers about our products. As it was such an important position dealing directly with the Navy it came with a substantial pay rise. He also knowing our recent problems, said he could find a mid-level position in my team for Linda. That way I could keep an eye on her and not worry about her straying again.

The day came when I collected Linda from the hospital. When I entered the clinic Linda was waiting for me and rushed into my arms. At first, I just stood there not sure what to do, then I raised my arms and hugged her. I wasn't sure how I felt about all of this and had to keep reminding myself she wasn't aware she had done anything wrong. We said goodbye to the doctor and staff and got into the car. Linda looked at me lovingly and said.

''I can't wait to get home I've missed you all so much.''

''Linda we're not going back home. I've transferred to Maine to our office at the Naval Shipyards. It's more money and comes with accommodation, so the doctor felt a clean break would be best. He doesn't want whatever caused your breakdown to trigger another one. All our stuff is in transit and will go into storage until we want it. In the meantime, we have been given married quarters on the base, it will only be for a couple of weeks until our permanent quarters are ready. You get to pick all the décor and colour scheme. We're on our way to the airport to catch our flight to Maine so just relax and enjoy the ride.

00000000000

Six months later:

Linda:

I loved our new home, I'd decorated it just the way I wanted it. All our furniture fit perfectly. Jake had been a bit distant at first but we were back the way we were before my breakdown. We now worked together Jake as the boss and me as his PA. For some this arrangement wouldn't work but we loved it. For some reason, Jake seems more relaxed than he used to be even though he seems to be working harder. Our love life has improved markedly since our arrival, we make love at least three times a week and sometimes more at the weekend. I love Jake with all my heart and would never do anything to hurt him. I know what I did with Terrence Long, Yes I have recovered my memory. It all came back while I was in the clinic. One evening I went to sit in the communal lounge and the TV was on. When the news came on there was an item that struck a cord in my memory. It was the covering of a trial for Terrence Long. Straight away I recognized the name belonging to my old boss so I paid attention. It seems he was being charged with drugging a woman and then raping her. He had pleaded guilty and confessed he had done it multiple times. For pleading guilty his sentence was reduced to fifteen years.

That night I had trouble sleeping and kept dreaming that it was me that had been raped. In the morning I realised my memory had returned and I remembered the whole sordid affair. I now realised why the doctor wanted my memory to remain blank knowing I had nearly killed Jake almost pushed me over the edge again. After some thought, I decided to keep my recovered memory to myself. I was sure if Jake knew my memory had returned he would have divorced me. I also knew he still loved me and would be miserable without me. My love for Jake is unconditional, I vowed I would make Jake the best wife in the world and deny him nothing. And that is why I'm lying here in bed with a sore back door while Jake makes the coffee. Last night Jake had asked if we could try anal and as I said I would deny him nothing. It had hurt at first (it was my first time) but Jake was gentle and patient and I started to enjoy it. Jake is about as happy as I have ever seen him so my vow seems to be working. I can hear him coming up the stairs, now where did I put that lube?

The end.