All Comments on 'Little Lissa Ch. 01'

I like it! Hurry and write some more! Lol

brilliant first story loved it so far, it only got more erotic and horny with my own imagenation little lissa but she knows what she wants and needs more

nice job for a first try. i thought it was a little slow to get to the sex. Even if you want to develop the characters first, most readers want things a little hotter right from the start. Next episode, think about the hot, wet fantasies you have when your alone in bed and write that.. Don't give up.. Mike

So sexy because there is so much psychological tension, insecurity, doubt and lust. such a combination

Actually it has the potential to be brilliant. The pace and build-up are just right. That is the difference between sensual eroticism and crude, cheap pornography. Develop your craft with eroticism and you will last much longer than the talentless pornographer.

Thank you.

Thank you so much for all of your comments. I was so nervous about posting. This is the first time I have ever posted anything anywhere. I am currently working on Ch. 2 and hopefully it will meet your expectations. Thank you again for your kind words and encouragement.

Keep up the excellent writing!!

Add another page to finish this one! Nice balance between characters.

Congratulations on a terrific first story. It has tremendous potential. Love the characters and the character development. You write anticipation and desire very well. It's a hot story and they havent even got naked yet! You are a good writer! Keep writing.

One thing I would suggest is having your story proofread by someone else before submitting. There were a few grammatical and syntax errors that would not be caught by a spell checker. Readers on Lit are a discerning bunch and many will dock you for lack of editing. If you dont personally know someone who can edit for you, contact me through my page and I'll try to hook you up. Don't use the Find and Editor option on Literotica. Many of the people who posted as editors are no longer active. That was an exercise in frustration for me a few years ago.

Ah. I know exactly how you feel submitting your first story. It's so nerve wracking putting yourself out there for the world to judge. Then there's obsessively checking the voting and comments, right? Hell, we all do that! lol. You must be happy with the reaction so far! Keep going. It's a hell of a ride! :)

Great start, would love to read more.

Great job - enjoyed this story. looking forward to chapter 2. You are very descriptive without rushing the 'action'!

Made my palms tingle!!! Yes yes yes! Can't wait till the next chapter!

Really hot! Can't wait to read more!

Amazing !!! Hurry up and write part 2 ! ;)

"He turned and tunneled his hand through his hand." Huh? I'm having trouble picturing this move...or understand its significance.

So, you really need to take this to the next level and give us everything.

The strip-down of the clothing, very slowly. Robert taking her by the had into the bedroom and having her lay down and he falling to his knees and moving his mouth to her aching pussy. He tongues and sucks and plays with her g-spot until her pussy gushes all over his face in a very strong orgasm. Then when his cock is raging hard, she begs for it in her waiting mouth. His cock, taken deep into her throat, fucking her face because he cannot control himself and his first orgasm with her is spewed into her throat, so hard, it has no way to escape but right into her stomach.

This is only the beginning of her night and after a brief rest, his cock recovers and he mounts her from behind.

He grabs her hips and fucks her in experienced pussy as hard as he can and she comes again, leaving her juices on him, running down his legs.

He flips her over into the missionary position, pulls her legs up from behind her knees until they are up on her shoulders. His cock penetrates deep into her longing pussy, hitting her cervix and she cums again.

As soon as he feels her cunt clench his cock, he can no longer control it and cums deep into her, more than he has in a long time.

so, more please...