Little Man

I was furious. I gathered up all the pieces of the set and threw them against the wall, just to get them out of my sight, allowing them to fall behind my bedframe. I don't know why I thought anything would have gotten better, why I thought I could just live with this. I realized that this relentless taunting, the emasculation, it wasn't just something I would be able to run away from, it was just a reality of who I am. No matter how hard I try to make friends, get people to look past the outside, it wouldn't matter. As soon as they saw me, I was just another joke to them. I heard a knock at the door.

I flung the door open, knowing it was Sam. In that moment I couldn't bear to hear him knocking, calling through the door, wasting his time on me. Tears streaming down my face, I snapped at him.

"Leave me the fuck alone! Can't you tell I don't want to talk to you? Stop knocking every goddamn night! I...I just...just go bother somebody else." I felt my voice crack, stopping me from going any further. He stared at me, unable to speak, so I broke the silence for him. "Just fucking leave!" I slammed the door in his face.

I stood there with my back to the door for what felt like an eternity. I had just sealed off any glimmer of hope I might have had for a regular college life, the one person who might have been a friend enough to help me along. I just shut the door on him. Eventually, I heard footsteps as he began to walk away, and when I heard his door click shut down the hall I dropped to the floor, crying more than I ever had before.

----

I skipped classes the next couple of days. Fortunately, I had enough supplies stockpiled in my room in the form of junk food to allow me to get away with not having to leave my room at all. The nightly knocking stopped, and instead my evenings were filled with the sounds of whatever nonsense I could find online to distract me from the world around me. After about four days the RA decided to get involved, noticing my absence around the dorm. I let him in one night to talk, figuring it easier to go along with it than argue with authority. I feigned understanding as he had a talk with me about the importance of attending classes, eating well, and hygiene. I promised him I would go to class again on Monday, and he seemed happy that he broke through. The promise felt so empty passing through my lips.

Still, I decided I would need to go to class again. Not to fulfil my promise or further engage in my studies, but just to take attention off myself. The longer I stayed in my room the more likely the RA was to get more people involved, so I figured I would just grin and bear it, going to class and immediately back to my room. The little shreds of self-respect I had left made me feel obliged to actually make myself presentable, at least somewhat, so on Sunday night I took a trip to the showers.

Everything seemed to be going well at first. I managed to clean myself off in privacy, taking a rather prolonged shower to cut through the grime of the past week or so. When I felt sufficiently clean, I grabbed the towel and began to dry off, and that is when I heard the door open. The curtain flew open, and standing before me was Randy dressed in his pajamas.

"Little man, there you are! I thought I heard the showers running, and who else would have been in here at 4:30 in the morning? I figured I would pay you a visit, catch up a little. Come on now, no need to be so modest, we're friends, aren't we?" He grabbed my towel which I had been holding in front of my crotch and threw it against the wall. I was now fully on display for him once again.

"Now, there's the little man's little man! Seeing it again, I don't even know if I could call you little "man" anymore. Speaking of which, did you try on my gift? I'm sure this nub of yours fit it so nicely." He reached down, trying to touch me to make his point, causing me to leap back. I tried to run past him, but he grabbed me by the wrist. I tried to scream, but for some reason I couldn't produce any sound.

"Don't go leaving so soon, we were just starting up. I feel like we're really becoming closer as friends here, ya know? How about this, since you've shown me yours, I'll show you mine. That's only fair, right?" With one hand he pulled me back in front of him, and with the other he dropped his pants. I now saw that he was fully erect in front of me. My eyes were locked to his penis, grotesque and ugly, a fitting extension of him. He pushed me down until I was on my knees, and knowing what was coming next, I locked my eyes shut.

Suddenly, the grip on my wrist was released. I opened my eyes, my head still looking down at the tile floor, and I saw a bit of red begin to swirl with the water down the drain. I slowly turned my head to see Randy on the ground, struggling to get to his feet, blood trickling out of his nose. He managed to find his footing, and he ran out the door as quickly as he could. My eyes followed him, only to be blocked by the figure standing before me. Sam. There was a towel at his feet, clearly knocked off from the commotion, and he stood before me naked. I don't think he noticed.

"Alex, are you okay? Come on, talk to me, what did he do to you? I know you said you didn't want to talk to me, but please, just this once, I just want to help you." My mind was racing. Sam had just saved me. After how I treated him, yelled at him, ignored him, he still saved me. And as I kneel on the ground in the showers, vulnerable, he didn't push me any lower. Rather, he started to help me up. And as he did so, as he got closer to me, a thought popped into my head: this was the first time I'd seen Sam naked.

I don't know why that is what I thought about, but in that moment, I just wanted to look at him. I saw the way his muscles tightened slightly under his skin as he gently tried to pull me to my feet. I saw the way the water rolled down his leg, following the contours. I saw the way he smiled at me reassuringly, but the look of intense worry in his eyes. All these things that I'd never noticed in a man before, or in anybody for that matter, I saw in him. And as my eyes moved up and down his body, I saw his penis. Something came over me, and as a reflex I dropped back down to my knees and reached out to take it in my hands. He stopped me, pulling his hips back.

"No, Alex, we can't. Not right now." His voice was gentle. He didn't yell or scold me, but rather just tried to comfort me. Tears began running down my face again. "Hey, it's okay, really, I just think you need a bit of time for yourself right now. For now, I think you just need to get to bed, you have class tomorrow, remember? Come on, I'll walk you back to your room." He pulled me to my feet, taking his towel and wrapping it around me. I noticed he didn't care to get a towel for himself, but just walked me straight back to my room. He opened the door when we got there, turning to look me in the eyes.

"Promise me we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" I could see in his eyes that tears had begun to form, but he seemed to have fought them back.

"I...I promise." I had never meant a promise more in my life. Without saying another word, he smiled and let me walk into the room, closing the door behind me. I thought it would be difficult to get to sleep that night, but I quickly found myself drifting off.

---

My classes were a blur the next day. No matter how hard I tried to stay focused on the lecture, trying to get back into the groove of things, I just found myself absentmindedly doodling the whole day. What's more, I noticed that the only thing I could think to draw was the exact same figure over and over again, the image from last night still burned in my mind. The more I drew the more confused I became. Why couldn't I stop thinking about him? I've never felt this way about anybody before, why now did I seem so obsessed with him? I kept running different scenarios through my mind, thinking of how our talk later might play out, trying to come up with something to say to him.

After my last class I rushed back to the dorm, though this time not because I was trying to avoid attention. As I walked down the hall, I noticed Randy's room opened, most of his stuff piled up in the hallway in boxes. I smiled, for what felt like the first time in such a long time. I quickly went into my room before he walked out into the hall, hoping to never have to see him again.

Most of that afternoon was spent pacing in my room, waiting to hear a knock. I don't even think I can describe the emotions going through my head. It felt as though I was anxious about what was to come, terrified of how it might go, but also excited to see him, finally talk to him again after so long. I thought about all the different ways he might react to what I had done last night, how I had tried to touch him. My mood ebbed and flowed as the outcomes shifted in my head. I practiced what I was going to say to him, determined to talk first, speak my peace before he got the chance. Just when I felt I had fully figured out what I was going to say, I heard a knock. I steeled myself and opened the door.

Sam stood on the other side, and he gave a slight smile when he saw me. Without a word I opened the door further and allowed him to step inside. He took the liberty of sitting on the bed as I closed and locked the door behind him. I lingered for a moment, unsure of what to do next, but suddenly he spoke, breaking my concentration.

"So, how are you feeling?" Hearing his voice sent my mind immediately off the rails, and I lost control of my words and thoughts.

"I just wanted to say thank you I guess, or not 'I guess' just thank you for last night, I was really scared and I didn't know what was gonna happen but then you showed up and hit him and he ran away but you know that since you were there, and then I kept thinking about it today or I guess not really thinking about it but thinking about you, and how you helped me and how you looked or that's not what I mean but it is, I guess I really like you and I missed you and when you showed up I don't know what happened, and I'm sorry for..."

I was suddenly cut off when Sam stood from the bed and kissed me. My first kiss. I was shocked at first, my eyes wide, but they quickly shut as I returned his kiss. His hands found their way to my hips and without thinking I reached mine up to hold his face. I felt as though I was falling, but I just leaned further into him as he kept me on my feet. I couldn't even guess how long we stayed like that, lips locked together, before Sam pulled away. I finally opened my eyes again.

"Well you really made that into a quick conversation." He chuckled slightly as he spoke, a warmth to his laughter. "You don't need to apologize; you didn't do anything wrong. I assume you've worked it out by now, but I think I feel the same way about you. I think I have for a while now. I just couldn't let it happen last night, not when you were in that mindset. I couldn't take advantage of you like that, I needed to know you really meant it." I leaned in and kissed him again as he finished his sentence.

"And I guess that means you really did mean it." Another chuckle. Despite all the scenarios I ran through my head, none of them turned out like this. Honestly, I didn't even know I liked him until the words slipped past my lips, but as he kissed me, I never became more certain of anything in my life. I felt as though I loved him, and for the first time I felt like somebody loved me. And in this moment, as he held me against him, I knew I needed to be with him.

"Um, do you think you can wait outside for a few minutes?" A strange idea had appeared in my mind, and for some reason I decided to act on it. Sam looked at me for a moment, confused, but before he could speak I gave him another quick kiss. He nodded his head slightly and reluctantly let me go, his hand dragging across me stomach to maintain contact for as long as possible. He unlocked the door and stepped outside. I heard his back thump slightly against my door.

As soon as the door closed, I made my way towards my bed, pulling it slightly away from the wall. I reached my arm behind it until I felt what I was after. Piece by piece I pulled up the lingerie set, laying it out on my bed. Whereas before the sight of it filled me with rage, now my mind was filled with opportunity. The one thing Randy may have ever gotten right in his life was that this would definitely look good on me, and I needed Sam to see. I'd never worn anything like it before, never even considered it, but for some reason it just felt right.

I stripped out of my clothes, my small but firm erection springing slightly as it came free of my boxers. I sat on my bed and slowly slipped each stocking over my foot and up my leg, relishing the soft fabric against my smooth skin. Next, I took the bra, which was more of a lace covering rather than a bra due to the lack of cup, and put it on my chest, struggling to lock the clasp behind my back. After figuring out the clasp I gently ran my hand across my chest over the fabric, feeling a jolt down my spine as I brushed each nipple.

Finally, I stood and grabbed the panties, holding them out in front of me, letting out a slight giggle as I looked at them. I stepped into them, one foot after the other, and slowly slid them up my silk-covered legs. As I pulled them into position, they pressed my erection up against my body, but I reached my hand in and readjusted so my penis would poke through the slit in the crotch. I noticed a bead of precum drip to the floor as my penis slipped through the slit. I was already on the verge of cumming just from putting on the outfit.

I began to walk towards the door but stopped when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. I was nervous before, thinking that wearing this might be ridiculous, but as I stared at myself in the mirror, I was filled with a sense of confidence I had never felt before. Seeing how my ass neatly filled in the panties, how the thigh highs constricted tightly at the top, pressing into my flesh, or how the bra clung to my chest hiding my newly sensitive nipples. However, more than anything my confidence came from seeing my little penis, sticking out from those black lace panties, looking like it belongs there. For the first time I didn't look at myself with disdain, but rather with pride.

I drew my attention away from the mirror and went to the door, knocking on it to tell Sam I was ready. I stood behind the door as he opened it, hoping to increase the surprise when he saw me. I closed the door behind him and he briefly looked around confused, before turning to see me standing there in my new look. His jaw immediately dropped, and I did a little spin so he could get a better look at me.

"You...you look...I just...holy shit..." He struggled to form a sentence as I began to saunter towards him, making sure to sway my hips. When I reached him, my newfound confidence took over and I kissed him once again, though this time instead of grabbing his face I reached one hand behind his neck and the other down to his crotch. I could feel he was hard as a rock.

"What do you think? Does it suit me? I think I already know what you're going to say." I gently rubbed his cock through his sweatpants as I spoke. I had never actually felt another man's cock before, but somehow, in the moment, it just felt like I knew exactly what to do.

"You look incredible, I can't believe it. Where did you get that from? You didn't have to do this, I still liked you befo..." I brought my hand to his lips, silencing him. I got on the tips of my toes so I could whisper into his ear.

"Stop thinking so much, dummy." I have no idea what had come over me at this point. All I knew is that I wanted him, and he wanted me. I reached down to his waist, grabbing the base of his shirt and pulling it up over his head, throwing it behind him. I slowly dropped to my knees, feeling his body along the way. When I got down, I quickly pulled his sweatpants down, allowing him to step out of them. He stood before me in just his boxers, looking down as his cock strained to break free mere inches from my face. In this position, I could feel a puddle of my precum forming between my thighs.

I touched my hand to his inner thigh before beginning to slide it up the leg of his boxers. It didn't take long for the tips of my fingers to make contact with the head of his cock, and I felt it jump as he let out a slight gasp in reaction. I gently worked my fingers up the length of his shaft before grabbing hold, my fingers just barely closing around it. As I gradually began to stroke, looking up at him, I felt a warmth in my hand like nothing I had felt before. His cock felt unbelievably firm, yet also soft and smooth, giving slightly to my touch. I had hoped to tease him a bit more, but at this point I could no longer hold back.

I released his cock and moved my hand out of his boxers before quickly reaching up and pulling them down, freeing his cock to the air. It bounced slightly and tapped my on the cheek, leaving a noticeable wetness. I pulled my head back and grabbed the base of his shaft with both hands, moving it around to look at it from every angle. It seemed colossal, easily passing 8 inches, and was mostly smooth, save for one noticeable vein along the top. It was slightly thicker in the middle than it was at the head, which was a soft pink color. This cock was nothing like my own little penis, and I was mesmerized.

I looked up at Sam to see him biting his lip slightly. He was perfectly willing to let me explore his cock all day, but I knew he wanted more. While looking him in the eyes, I leaned forward and touched his head to my lips, giving it a light but audible kiss. I continued this along the length of his shaft before I reached the base, upon which I ran my tongue along his length back to the head. With every move I made I could feel him twitch and squirm, and after repeating this several times I decided it was time to give him what he wanted. I put my lips on his cock and allowed it to slowly slide into my mouth.

I had never experienced anything quite like the moment he first pushed past my lips. My mouth instantly felt full, my jaw opened wide, and I could taste a subtle sweetness coming from his cock as he leaked more precum into my throat. Trying to avoid my teeth, I started moving my head back and forth rhythmically, at first only taking the first two or three inches. I wanted to take more, feel him slide into my throat, but I couldn't seem to do it myself. I reached for his hands, which up until this point had been at his sides, and placed them on the back of my head. Before long he got the message, and I could feel him begin to apply pressure, pushing his cock further into my mouth.

As he hit the back of my throat I started to gag slightly, letting out more spit and thoroughly soaking his cock. He slowed down, clearly worried about me, but I just kept sliding back and forth, prompting him to continue thrusting. Eventually, I felt my nose touch the area above his cock, and I choked as he bottomed out in my throat. This only lasted a few seconds before he aggressively pulled out, taking a step back but leaving a trail of saliva between my mouth and his cock. I felt some drip down onto my own penis.

"Holy shit I was about to cum." He firmly grasped the base of his cock as he said this, breathing heavily. I gasped for air as I watched him, wondering why he wouldn't just cum down my throat, but I quickly figured it out. He wanted this to last, and he wasn't about to let himself cum from just a blowjob. And I wanted nothing more than to oblige him. I stood up from the ground as he began to calm down, releasing his cock, allowing it to droop slightly as he managed to at least somewhat calm down.

I stepped in front of him and kissed him again, this time allowing more of my saliva and his precum to mix into his mouth. I could feel his cock hang down and touch my own, which was still as hard as it had ever been. I rubbed my crotch slightly against him as we kissed, gently dry humping his cock with my little penis. I reluctantly broke the kiss, wanting it to last longer but eager to move to the next step. I reached down and took his cock in my hand, leading him over to the bed.