by KennyWright
You really did something great here, weaving together excellent action, characters and story. Wouldn't mind seeing more of these two.
... the difference between "your" and "you?re." So many otherwise good stories are marred by poor English. Nice that your excellent story is an exception.
That was great. I hope to read the second one soon. It was really great! I am so curious to see what her fantasy is.
The only complaint I have is that I have to wait for another chapter!
You write very believable characters. There was some really great back and forth banter when they're folding towels. Keep up the good work.
Okay, I couldn't resist making that title. Good job! I liked the way "Little" came across. She's fun!