All Comments on 'Live from the Game Ch. 04'

@ njlauren I am a very strong supporter of the mutuality. I am not a marriage absolutist. I think the foundation of the modern marriage is the mutuality and not the one sided compartmenized spouses. A theoretical experiment: What do you think of that situation if the husband had begun contra cheating beside the more sided cheating wife who is a good mom and good houskeeper wife. If the husband had started an non declered open marriage to use the earned extra more money for decorated escort girls instead of divorce. Had the wife divorced him and she had felt like a betrayed, when she cought him later ???????????

The Author Jezzaz talked about this possibilities in the story through his character.........look at this part of the story:

"Plus, I was old fashioned enough to understand that two wrongs never made a right. Sure, it would balance and it would make us even, but more than likely it would destroy us if she were to imagine I'd done the same. Whatever justifications she had in her head, they more than likely weren't thought through in terms of them being applied to her and would never survive me doing the same thing. The hypocrisy would come up, and while she'd find a way to live with it, things would never be the same. She'd never trust me and I, for myself, would never trust her again. Not with the lying and deception ability she'd already displayed."

I think those stories which investigate a non declared open marriage after a compertmanized wife's cheating are very interesting for me, when the wife discovers she gets back as she began earlier, as chilleywilley's excellent gem mutuality story " The Symmetry of Sin".

Jezzaz's character gave it up the non declerad open marriage idea and he got the children custody instead of it......................

5* An excellent job, thanks for your efforts.

Many have pointed out what Ryan should have done at the Red Robin meeting. Should he have revealed the recording of Jordan calling her a slut, etc. I think this would have helped, a missed opportunity perhaps. And that we don't know what happens to Jordan after the fact, etc.

I think you ended it quite well -- we don't often get neat and tidy all items known situations in real life, nor a feel good ending to life's challenges. Another chapter may be a bad idea...

Oh, so wordy! You could delete every other paragraph and the story would still hang together. Then you could cut the remaining paragraphs in half, and not lose any important parts of the story line.

And the dialogues were awful. People just don't talk like that. In your conversations, they just went on and on, like they were reading from a script.

Some authors think bigger is better and unnecessarily inflate their stories, as if they were getting paid by the word. This is a textbook example of such inflation. Too bad. It could have been an interesting read.

In thought it to be a good story. I'm inclined toward BTB anyway. It was a nice length tale (no pun) and an active one. Good reading. Cheers!

First off, it's reasonably well written, with a decent plot, and you managed to hold my interest through four installments. Compared to some of the drivel we find here, you're like a Hemingway. You did a really nice job of conveying your protagonist's emotions. And I really liked the point you made that in the real world, situations like this seldom if ever result in happy endings for anyone involved: the cheated-upon spouses get hurt, the kids (if any,) get hurt, the cheaters get hurt, and a lot of them wind up with permanent emotional scars.

Those are the good points.

There ARE some bad points, too. There were a lot of (way too many, really,) editing/proofreading failures in all four chapters. Other commenters have touched on these as well, so I won't try to address them in any detail. All I will do is reiterate that it breaks one's ability to enjoy the story every time one hits one of these.

The other thing I'm going to take issue with is the way that you ended the story. Yes, it's realistic. But we are none of us here because we want more reality in our lives: we're here because some of us are telling stories here, and the rest of us are here to enjoy those stories. From a storyteller's point of view, your ending is too abrupt; it drops your protagonist as if he were a hot chestnut, or perhaps more aptly, as if he were a piece of rubbish for which you no longer have any use. It's not good storytelling, because there's no real resolution to the story. As it is, the story fairly screams for a fifth chapter, an epilogue, or even a sequel.

I'm not trying to suggest that you have to morph into a clone of StangStar06 and have Ryan drive happily off into the sunset with a graduate of the Swedish Bikini Team and a couple of gallons of loose diamonds. If your sense of the story demands and ending that mirrors reality, so be it. But the story itself comes across to me as being unfinished.

Same story, different format, held my interest all the way through and had a nice ending... Good Job.

Some comments want more revenge, or more BTB. This story went beyond the well planned revenge, and continued into what realistically happens in real life. This story probably comes closer to portraying the true heartbreak of a situation like this. Actually, words can't adequately explain the anguish that a husband suffers when his wife decides to betray every aspect of the family. It's total destruction to a man. This story very closely represents my experiences, and those of close friends. It's easy for critics to say what a person 'should have done' but unless faced with the situation, no one truly knows how they would react. Will read the next chapter, but the cheater's excuses are usually just sickening. I agree with previous comments, Deanna needed to hear the recording of how fuckwad loverboy regards her. Nothing but a warm piece of meat to be passed around. Maybe it could be involved in a future counseling session. Deanna is actually a good candidate for some serious psychotherapy. If she's serious, very dedicated, and extremely patient, she could eventually gain something toward her goal. but it's doubtful. I shouldn't talk, when I was in this situation, I didn't look back. This story is more realistic to the total devastation and destruction that occurs with infidelity than most on this site. Some say that it ended a little depressing, and I agree. But it was very accurate to real life. Past experience, and some of the stories on this site, would cause one to have the impression that all women are idiots, like the wife in this story, and not capable of fidelity and loyalty. But the truth is, there are some decent ones out there, who wouldn't dream of acting this way. One finally found me, and next year is the 25th anniversary. Thanks, jezzaz, this got a good, solid 5.

I'm not here every day. Not even every week. But I thought I had found, what I think are, all of the best authors in my favorite categories. Then I get on here the other day, and here's this jezzaz bozo (no offense -- you'll see) posting some of the absolutely best writing on this site!!! Once I started reading 'Live from the game', I checked out your other stuff. Dude (sorry -- slipped out), you've got some serious chops. Keep it up, and make the readers of Literotica (and especially me!!!) happy -- please -- pretty please.

About the story. As I've probably mentioned around here before, I'm not an especially big fan of BTB, but, except for the ballgame shit, you mostly stayed away from that. (I could see that coming from way over here, BTW.) The way Ryan handled Crystal is a good example. Others might have had Ryan promising to Crystal to keep his counsel, then turned around and dropped the proof in the fedex box. Another thing you did exceptionally well to was draw a very explicit picture of the pain that Ryan was going through, and his motivations for everything else, without throwing it in our faces and saying "Hey - look at me - I'm hurting and you damn well better be able to tell!!" It seems to be a prevailing theme in your other stories as well. You have a gift for it. Also, your dialogue is crisp and realistic, your grammar very good, and you keep the flow mostly going, except at the very beginning of chapter one, without too much wool gathering. Well done.

Anyway, thanks for this offering. You did well, and I, for at least one, appreciate the entertainment you gave us.

DC

I don't post often, and am sure - like most here - that my tastes are pretty eclectic. But I like what I like, and very few stories have me wake up 1st thing to log into literotica to see if there is a new chapter. You stories have done that, and this one was perhaps my favorite (I say perhaps because I really love the cloak and dagger spy stuff of the Ingram stories, so that appeals on extra level).

But this was really great. I look forward to chapter 5. I know each story is unique, but I thought that June's introspective email in Metamorph was was great insight into her POV, that made a reconciliation that I didn't want - and couldn't see- actually tolerable. Don't know if that's where you are heading, but my point is only that exploring both POVs made that story better in total and I hope it does the same here. I would concur with many other posters that making sure that Deena knows what her boyfriend said about her is critical to the realism of the story. In real life, there is no way that Ryan doesn't make her hear/know that. Letting her think it was love on lwler's part is just more generous to a cheater than any man who who do the Jumbotron reveal would actually be, or should be.

Thanks for your efforts. These are really good reads, and I don't know how or why, but you had me caring about these characters in just a few pages, and that is the signs - in my view - of great writing.

Very well written! I felt like I was living this with your hero. There is plenty of room to expand his story; please continue the saga!

Though very long winded.....bill

Wow. Just wow.

Incredible, no other way of putting it. I am impressed with this story and this author!

Thanks for sharing.

You hooked me and I read it all. Good Story

In your story, when the hero confronts the friend and tells her that the 'just sex' was just bullshit, you struck a cord. You went further and really summarized the bond chosen between two people -- and their right and responsibilities. I may be a bit old (late 50's), but I was a bit wild BEFORE my continuing marriage of 30 years. Sometimes we all need to see why we are here with who we chose. THANK YOU. By the way, the tech part was nice TOO.

...from beginning to end! A great BTB!

I'm glad you didn't give in and take her back. It shows a lot of heart to stand up for your own heart!

Good Lord ... now you're getting "hot" ratings for this??? What is hot about this? Good writing, yes. Thought-provoking, for sure. BUT NOT SEXY. This whole website is a fucking joke. The people who comment on stories and run it are nuts. I give up.

Much of your narrative is laced with self-effacing doubt, leaving the reader worrying that you were going to ultimately accept your wife's behavior and cave. I did that very thing in my first marriage and can tell you, in spades, life doesn't cooperate. Good ending.

Just finished the story and loved it.

Good writing, fine character development, nice story

On Chapter 5 you are correct-the tale pleads for the wifes POV, however as you wrote 1/2 of the readers will love Chap5 & 1/2 the readers will hate Chap5 (but everyone will read it-LOL!)

Thanks for posting

One thing that was clear from her conversation - she would have done it again if the first time hadn't ended so disastrously. I'm in the half that wants to see a story from her POV. Looking forward to it.

J, you've done it again with yet another quality production. I want to complement you on having the courage to create a work of fiction for the LW genre. I read your comment that you are considering writing a fifth chapter from Deanna's POV.

I am generally the first one to express sympathy for the woman's side of the story. However, in my opinion, I do not see the necessity. I thought you covered Deanna's viewpoint quite extensively but you are the author and your will be done. I will certainly be interested in reading whatever you think you can still add to this story.

For those who want a better answer then 'Because', too bad. In real life, beyond the simplicities of storytelling, there are no 'BIG' answers. "I drink and drive 'cause I have the car keys in my hand." "I swallowed those _ _ _ _ _ _ cause my friend/colleague/Doctor/advertising/brother/bartender/pusher/pimp/Third Cousin om my Mother's side/Coach/Trainer/Therapist promised me that it would make feel better." "Oh look, someone is available for me to fuck. Okay then, let's get it on!"

I have a saying for this; "You can try and lead a man from the edge of a cliff but in the end, you cannot prevent them from jumping off!"

Nice read. It woyuld be interesting to hear about the affair from Deanna's point of view- how it started, what she was feeling and thinking. I would also like to see a more detailed descriptions of sexual acts- something erotic and sophisticated, not " I want you in me", "i am hot for you", etc. You have established yourself as a much higher quality author than that. I realize that this is a fictional story, but I thought that the discovery of the affair was unrealistic. It is beyond naive of two people, who are involved in an affair to make out during the ballgame on Jumbotron with thousands of people watching and not expect to be caught. Finally, I think that the typos and other undeveloped parts of the story can be ignored, since they don't detract from the overall plot, which is excellent. I read this story like a novel- it kept me interested from the first to last page, 4.9/5.0

Liked the way it ended. the Cheaters never expect to get caught or have consequences come their way. when it does they get all Contrite and beg for Forgiveness. as if that will settle everything.

That showed her 4 second photo on a large screen in front of couple hundred people

She won't cheat again LOLOLOL

Once you got the suet out of your system, the story rolled along. It was a trifle wordier than it needed to be, mostly time spent by the man navel gazing about his emotions at length or describing situations which are pretty common to the genre.

Your editor needs some work. Lots of misused words, poor choices in capitalization, and incorrect spell checked. Spell check is the BEGINING, not the ending of editing.

The strength of the story is the character interactions and the little touches like names of celebs, the T.V. thing, etc.

I liked half of your swipes at Lit, particularly about setting up cameras. Part of the 'parsing' they do which you didn't was they 'set up their house with video and audio' without discussing the absolute difficulty of doing so without very specialized and expensive tools. If I were 'wiring my house for video and sound' my wife would very likely catch me surrounded by drywall dust with a variety of plainly labeled boxes around my feet as I was trying to figure out what color wire to connect to some other companies product.

The other half were justifiable (the second chance hottie) but a bit gratuitous. No real need to insult your target audience that I can see.

JPB could probably have done this in five pages. But we wouldn't have seen Solomon, Simon and had the long conversation with Crystal or Deanna.

So the question is: did these 'touches' add enough flavor to the mix to be worth the extra three chapters? Certainly the first page of chapter one could have been done in 10 paragraphs and side characters were added that brought nothing to the mix. For example, axing Paul would have cut out 2 pages most likely...and he brought very little to the party except his brother and a few amusing anecdotes.

I would say yes, the long form is better, but just barely. I think you could have cut about a page and a half without even trying.

I didn't waste my time reading this...though my eyes rolled a couple times on chapter 1 and 2.

It has been three days since I read ANY Lit story in the genre because most of them were just slap and tickle 'isn't my wife a wicked slut' nonsense.

This had more depth and I took a chance based on the scores. They didn't lie.

Thanks for another well thought-out, imaginative and emotionally powerful story. For me, the strength of your work is how intensely you allow the reader to feel the pain of the protagonists--here as well as in "Metamorph" and "Out of Love."

All three stories, those two and the present one, have some unrealistic elements--here the revelation via Jumbotron, there the elaborate "get the guy in Green Beret-physical condition" and "spend half a million dollars to fix the broken marriage." That's not my style, but it's yours and they're your stories. Those elements may not be very likely in real life, but they serve the stories well.

Those who don't post their work here may not understand how hard it is to write stories with characters and situations that make readers care. You do that brilliantly, as evidenced by the enormous number of comments on this final (or, now, not-quite-final) chapter. Your readers get emotionally involved, we feel Ryan's anger and hurt and confusion and identify with him. That's what good fiction writing achieves.

A final comment--some readers wish you were more concise, but I enjoy meeting your subsidiary characters with their own personalities and quirks: the charming but clueless boss, the socially-challenged hacker, the difficult sister-in-law. This way works for you, so trust your own judgment.

Many thanks for this great story!

ohio

I enjoyed this story greatly. It was well thought out, with a satisfying plot. The story line let us feel the raw emotion involved. The conclusion was satisfying, with a payback that was plausible and the spurned hubby got to keep his dignity.

In the way of constructive criticism, there is relatively little to offer, as grammatical errors were mercifully few. Your style is just a touch "wordy" for my tastes. You tended to "take the long way around the barn" as we say in these parts, but the story was well written enough to make this merely a minor annoyance. So much so that I gave this the full five stars. A worthy effort!

I am getting tired of this. It's not erotica, it's not an erotic story. It's a very well written short story that has nothing at all arousing or titillating about it. It doesn't belong on an erotica site, or at the least it belongs in the 'non-erotic' category like 99% of the revenge driven shit that clutters up Loving Wives. 5 stars for the story, but wish this was in the right category.

And before he responds, no Duna, I don't want examples of other loving wives stories like this. They don't belong here either. It's an erotica site, these stories should be erotic in some way, not just dramatic and well written little character pieces. Jezzaz's stories don't belong in Loving wives, while your stories belong in the garbage.

This author is special, very special. What a great tale. What a marvelous array of comments.

1 star

After many years of reading Lit. with an emphasis on L/W, this story ranks very high with me. Thank you so much!

The ending begs for some follow-up... Too many questions unanswered. What's next?

Compared to others this is truly a 5* Well written, has a plot, fresh ideas, used old ideas that work.

Great read, Thanks

Those naysayers probably find fault with their own birth certificates. :)

I do not know if it was your intent but Deanna turned out to be a real evil person although you wrote her as this confused "I had not really thought the consequences out" cheater. The facts however point to a deliberate coldly calculating woman. Fact 1- when she first meets Jordan she throws herself at him because she knew he was her perfect lover to conduct her affair so this was no impulse act. Fact 2 - Deanna revealed in complete honesty with Jordan what she wanted and what she thought about Ryan as a boring loser. All of her "rules" were set to keep hubby and her lover where she wanted them. Fact 3 - Deanna's behavior was not based on following Crystal but by selecting a cheating partner she could get cover for her activities. She did not just wake up one day and realized she did not have 'enough' sexual excitement in her life she had to develop this view that her life was boring after the third child. I asked whether there is another part to this story because the ending seemed incomplete. Thanks for an outstanding story!

Excellent story, the wife, Deanna got what she deserved. I can say that part of the blame did rest with Crystal, her peer pressure built this situation up. What could have been a dose of medicine, Deanna still has mixed feelings even at the conclusion or meeting with Ryan, is play the tapes of her lovers own thoughts and comments of her. See just how much true love this lover really had. I did see a comment from Upton? or someone in the final cubs security meeting, they mention Deanna again, does that mean they are still together but in a repairing the relationship sort a thing? I hope this is not the final chapter, I believe some feel age or getting older takes a lot out of people, and this fling was never going anywhere, both were married and her lover was not going to take her away, simply not his type, only a sex romp away from home. Like a girlfriend in every port. Hope you give them a chance Ryan and Deanna and repair their marriage. 5 stars

There was this one note, this one strain in the story which worked on so many levels for me.

IIRC, in the first chapter, you had the man pretending to be sick and he was faced by his wife making fun of him 'milking' his illness (though an enema to straighten out a stomach ache had me scratching my head). And our protagonist is sitting there reviewing everything that's happened in his life and seeing his wife's comments through a fresh lens. "This sounds funny and banterlike, but is she REALLY that callous and cold instead?"

And as the story continued, he kept getting layer after layer! She's telling her lover what a dud her husband is (@NJLauren...maybe he IS a dud!). BUT she seems to enjoy her sex life with her husband immensely...

So who is being lied to? This was a 'show, don't tell' moment which was JUST FRIGGING PERFECT. JPB will go on about his protag discussing 'trust' but SEEING such a direct example in context really had some power to it.

And we had the GPS. For a moment, I thought that you were going with the 'OMG, she KNOWS he knows and now wants to keep track of HIS movements!' But you went in a different but very good direction (and also made me feel guilty as hell...and wonder about MY 'send me an amazon list' wife. Careful there!) This was a 'whatever gift' which gave him a hint at his status in the pecking order...and he was none too pleased.

I wish I was that thoughtful in my writing. So, my critiques on the first chapter aside, my hat is off to you for some very good writing.

You wound around and around and sometimes I felt you were distracted in the writing. But, it wound up tight and overall is a superior effort.

5*

A well thought out and well written story

Thanks for the read

Laugh out loud line. That alone is worth a 5.

I liked this story more than most revenge stories. The husband didn't get suddenly rich, and he didn't find a super model who is 10 years younger than him to live happily ever after with. He simply moved on, which is what happens in real life. Nice job.

Female Process server chewing gum where did we read that before

I really liked her sister being in his side

I'd have notified the candy company so the Chester might have lost his job too

Any pecker who thinks he has the right to fool with someone elses wife deserves quick and painful justice . As for a cheating wife......she best not EVER show her face, much less demand to share children. And for those who don't think that's real.......think again .

she was compartmentalizing what a bunch of bullshit shes a cheating slut. she was in love with Jordan,or falling in love with him.she had no regrets or remorse for her actions. she didn't know when she gave her cherry ass to Jordan it would be their last time fucking.why couldn't she wait another day or so to give ryan her ass. she didn't know at the time he knew of the affair. if he reconciles with her he a cockled fool and deserves acheating slutfor a wife. if he was such a good lover why was she fucking jordan8

as far I see it no matter what Deanna says she is no longer in love with Ryan. no one woman or man feels a spark for a total stranger who is in love whit their spouse. Even Ryan said Deanna was distant and uninvolved . She didn't listen when he was speaking and sharing thoughts. The way she bought Christmas presents for him to the way she reacted to him when he came home and faked illness after finding out of her adultery, and the gift of the gps watch she bought to cover her guilty conscious. compartmentalizing my ass .She even told he asshole love she was bored whit her life in the burbs, to how her husband bored her to tears, When her asshole lover asked her if she pretended it was him, she said you got that lover. When he called Ryan an asshole she didn't get angry at him or defend Ryan she called Ryan an idiot. She gave asshole her virgin asshole instead of waiting for another day to get Ryan into bed. She didn't know this was going to be her last time with the asshole. In her so called confession she said she enjoyed her time with the asshole.The fuckwad even said she was close to telling him she loved him. All she said in her taped confession she said said Ryan was a great lover provider father and all around good guy.So why was she fucking Jordan . I think she also saw Ryan as a fat balding boring rumpled suit .So much for her video. How Ryan could say he still loved her is beyond me and many other who have read this story.He should forget about her ,and devote his time and energy to his children , by taking them camping, on short weekend trips to the beach to the mountains to theme parks and many other activities. To help him regain some of his destroyed selfworth he should take a martial arts course. It will probable take a long time before he will regain some self confidence And lastly in the divorce settlement he should ask she go back to her maiden name and she return the wedding and engagement rings because she shit all over the vows and the rings and what they stand for. no where in the story did she express shame sorrow or regret for the affair A fitting end for Deanna and Jordan is Jordan coming back to town hooking up again going to an amusement park and ride the ferriswheel .and decide to have dangerous sex with her bent over with his cock in her ass at the top he gives a mighty final shove and they lose their balance and plunge over the edge and fall to their death with his cock still in her ass.

Why get back with the cheating ex, This is a jezzaz story after all.

Well considered and you took the time painting the picture. good depth of character.

This pompous garbage is the reason why I read biography first and delete whichever British faggot writer is in it. ( I done mistake with this one) .

Also degenerate perversion seems to be way of life in UK.

A very well-written story with interesting and believable characters, good dialogue, just everything a reader could hope for. The plot was a reach what with hacking into Wrigley, etc., but it's fun and this is after all just fiction and for enjoyment. Thanks for sharing your work!

I normally eschew the cheater's POV. And, even though Ch. 5 earned 4.32 stars, I'll skip this one too. I just can't imagine learning anything too worthwhile.

The writer is got to be a Brit . Same gutless and cowardly attitude as all of the worthless shits. 1* of course.

Doesn't work on eight year olds. Maybe if he was a toddler.

With there sick interpretations and meaningless words

I like your stories, with a lot of coffee. I think they should call you the ramblin man. Everyone has their own style and I guess yours is to put in wey more words than needed. The fun part is it reminds me of myself when I talk to people. Thank you for the wonderful stories. I just wish I wasn't trying to cut down in my coffee drinking.

think about that. Great story and writing.

Kinda like writing for people who rode the short bus but need more to comprehend? or Too much information, they go into overload, then become anonymous.

Thanks for sharing on Lit.

x

Like you in an not a burn the bitch kinda guy, with a couple of exceptions. Coloured by my own experience.

Have read your comment at end of chapter 5 and interested in what is to come.

Hard to get past the comments on the tape, and your early description of drifting thru the marriage(gifts from Amazon) but will watch out for next instalment.

Would need to be a few years and plenty of counselling before she could be trusted

Wonderful, thorough setup. Slow, intricate, energy filled crescendo. Emotionally charged end game. Perfect! A solid 5* effort.

Thanks for sharing your awesome talent with us.

I saw the sequel and knew I had read this but remembered very little of it so I wanted to read it again before reading the sequel. I don't know if my 5* rating will register a second time but I voted again anyway.

This is an exceptional story, well thought out, well researched, and well told. Although the premise of her taking a chance in going to such a popular public forum like the cross-town is hard to believe, I thought the rest of it was very believable--even the cloak & dagger stuff. I know people like that. The end was extremely believable. It would be nice if every guy who was cheated on was able to immediately find another woman to love him but the fact is, it doesn't really happen that often--sometimes not for years, sometimes never at all.

I can’t get over the fact that she had some things that Ryan had given her, some from ANNIVERSARY trips, in Jordan’s apartment!

Jordan, as scummy as he was, at least had SOME semblance of an excuse, being away from home so long, though Chicago isn’t THAT far from Philly that he couldn’t go home every damn weekend if he wanted to! In any case, if he REALLY needed a piece in Chicago there are always call girls or SINGLE women! SHE had a husband and family RIGHT there, she didn’t even have the “I’m so lonely” excuse!

Yeah, it’s EASY to be intimate with Jordan with no other commitments, no kids to help with homework or to take to activities!

“You are my husband, not my lover” – Yeah, but why not? If it’s some fault with Ryan (which you insist it’s not), you owe it to him to TALK to him about it; if it’s you, and it appears it IS, since you can’t seem to imagine doing “lover” things with Ryan, then maybe you need to take a deeper look at YOURSELF, before looking outside your marriage!

I am glad I re-read this. This is masterful writing. Extremely well written and thought out. As I may have said before, emotionally authentic.

please tell us what happened with Jordan

Well written story even with some of the excessive portions of verbosity.

Really good flawed characters. And I appreciated the fact our intrepid protagonist didn't instantly fall another mate.

I reallt enjoyed the revenge, I thought it was terrific and was an interesting form.

Thanks for the fun read! Please keep writing!

“It would die when cunt face went back to Philly” Except that Jordan is already talking about FREQUENT trips back to Chicago, with Deanna being his first call.

Even if she tries to justify it with his coming home “drunk”, her giving her ass to Jordan when she never did it with Ryan is just WRONG! And to do ass-to-mouth as well!

I'm surprised he didn't throw back at her her statement about how she thought about Jordan when she fucked Ryan!

“I was going to end it. And I hadn't really even given her a chance to stop.” – 1) It never should have STARTED! And 2) She could/should have stopped it herself!

Deanna laughing off her sister’s put-downs of her husband don’t exactly buy her any slack when she is caught cheating!

“Deanna was sitting alone, slumped down, in tears.” – I don’t know why she’s so upset now, she seemed pretty much in control when Ryan called her!

“Because I was not sufficient to the task, or you wouldn't have looked elsewhere." – These women try to say there was nothing lacking in their husbands, but how would they feel if their HUSBANDS cheated? Wouldn’t THEY wonder if the other woman had a better body or was a better lover?

Needed to hear her boyfriend offer to pass her off and call her a slut.

or is a tie and going into extra innings. TK U MLJ LV NV

Excellent- one of the best BTB stories I've read here. I especially like the funny comments about how real life doesn't work like Literotica stories. Very funny inner dialogue throughout. I still can't understand people who complain about a story being too verbose. Somehow they spent their valuable time reading the whole thing, but I guess they'd go out and get the Cliff notes, if they were available. Keep using all those words, please.

“Deanna was sitting alone, slumped down, in tears.” – Again, why are they always crying? They never give a crap while they’re cheating, she blew him off when he BEGGED her to come home, blatantly LYING to him, and NOW she’s upset?

“It was nothing. Nothing at all” – I’m glad that cheating on him and destroying their marriage was nothing” to her!

Jordan is blaming HER? Because he can’t keep it in his pants?

Good read...

4* would have been 5* had he totally destroy the slut..

. . . how many times I've come back to this story. And every time, I've enjoyed it more and more. Great story. Thanks very much for your fine efforts. 5* every time, and more if I could.

“He's a nice guy” – “Nice guys” don’t cheat on their wives, especially with married women.

She’s sorry, but not sorry for what she did, she’s sorry for what it cost her.

“I need you. I need the kids, and I need our life” – “I need, I need, I need,” it’s all about HER needs!

I generally favor at least attempting reconciliation. It's due to my romantic leanings and my long term solid marriage. I believe it's the right thing to do in most cases. This however, is not one of them. Any wife/mother who just jumps into bed with someone else with no consideration for her family does not deserve to stay married.

Seriously? She carried on a long deception, impugning Ryan to her lover, admitting that Ryan wasn't able to provide what she needed, lied, manipulated, gave away sentimental keepsakes and disrespected him. How can you trust someone like that? She was demeaning to Ryan and the family in the video. Just ridiculous if you want to try to reconcile.

More thoughts...

Going to a therapist to find out why she did it? That is more rationalization. The only answer is that she doesn't love him like a spouse should. If she did, there is absolutely no way she could do something this hurtful.

Deanna claims she loves Ryan. Ryan accepts in this last chapter that she loves him. Sorry, but no. See the point above.

Why does he easily accept that he will pay child support? He should be fighting to keep his children away from her custody as hard as possible. Why would anyone think it was acceptable to allow the kids to live with someone with no morals?

"Isn't a reaction something like - I wonder if he (she) learned something new and exciting from the lover that he (she) will pass on the next time we make love? Seems like that reaction would be equally valid and a lot more fun..."

Yeah, it would be a lot more fun for a cum guzzler like you. What the fck is wrong you sick bastards. Please go back to your hole a jerkoff to the other 90+% of the stories written just for you. Valid? In what relativistic hellhole? Mars and Jupiter? Maybe better you ended up a drop on somebody's boyfriend's a-hole. Jhfc are you fckng blind.

If the couple in the story had the mindset you and your wife(?) apparently do, the she would have let him in on what she was going to do and they both could have been so excited to further their adult education.

But they did not have an open marriage or a swinging lifestyle.

She knew the consequences if she was caught. And she rejoiced thinking she could carry her delicious secret with her and in doing so make her disregard for her husband even more despicable.

The sad part is the writer decided to write a follow up series ''long after...'' and the deceitful, treacherous wife lives happily ever after

Boy do I miss FTDS

Before she left for her last meet at Jordon's condo, Ryan asked her point blank to stay home. She said her friend (lover) was more important.

During the game, Ryan called (just before pulling the trigger) begging her to come home because her needed her. She said her meeting (with her lover) was more important than he or the kids.

In the final conversation, I would have liked to see the above two points expressed.

The root cause of anything she did with Ryan or her kids during the final weeks was to maintain and extend her relationship with Jordon.

Ryan implicitly illustrated the point by citing Deanna's comments to Jordon before she gave up her ass, Deanna's failed attempt to seduce Ryan, and then Deanna abandoning her "no sexual act Ryan hasn't done" policy.

In the final conversation, I would also have liked this "root cause" explicitly stated.

Should have ended this story here. This was the high-note, then it gets progressively more depressing for the next 6 chapters.

Her little speech, at the end of what was to be her last fuck-fest, says it all! What absolute bullshit was she trying to lay on Ryan at their meeting?! She's quite the lying slut but then, Ryan knows that. Ryan could have just presented her with a copy of the unedited video and an audio of his chat with her lover. Then perhaps she could see it from his perspective and she would know what her lover thought of her!

Blackmail, hacking, illegal recording ... etc. Just no one to like in this story at all.

I have been where Ryan is, I just wish I got to burn the bitch the way Ryan did👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Yeah I know it’s only a story but it still made me feel good😂😂😂😂

Jezzaz is incredible in this genre. She only offered him anal because she wanted to give it to Lawler, not out of love for him. Selfish, selfish woman. I guess stories like this really stir up my mysogony. I'm about to read her story but I'm not sure I want to.

1 star out of five

I thanked god I'd been asleep when she got home and up early this morning, so she hadn't kissed me.(after she gave up her anal cherry to her lover).

THis is a good example to show you average Literotica author just doesn't have any idea what a guy with spine is actually like.

I mean there is no question,spine=no kiss and it's over...obviously and surely no psychobabble to make it different than the reality.

I thought it had a lot of filler, and stuff no one needed to know, but it was so good I couldn't stop. So, it's 2 AM and I'm going to bed finally.

Justin was talking about frequent trips back to Chicago? So, why wasn't he making frequent trips back to Philly to be with his WIFE?

"Better than me, that's for sure." - That's right, so leave him alone so that he can get it.

"If I had honestly believed there was the remotest prospect of you finding out and leaving, it would have ended instantly." - You don't do the right thing out of fear for what might happen if you get caught! You do the right thing because it is right! Most of us don't rob or steal. I sit because we're afraid of being caught or because we know it's wrong?

"OK," I said. "Kill him."

"What?"

"Kill him for fucking up my marriage, kill Crystal for talking you into it, and kill that bitch sister of yours for making it so much easier for you to disrespect me all these years. Kill all three of them and I'll cancel the divorce"

Do you like Crystal to get away with it.

Well written sad story. But it should have ended with a much shorter epilogue, and without the 2 add on stories involving the wife. Although the 2nd was so well written I was almost rooting for her to get her husband back , which could NEVER happen. The only story I would be interested in qould be the husbands future , which is still on hold.

Im going to be as short as I can with this. Writers on here and everywhere really who write about relationships that break down and don't consider the spiritual aspect of our lives will always suffer greater depths of agony even in their imaginings because they refuse to see that we are not just flesh and blood.

I was like them till my early 20s and then I was fortunate enough to have a friends girlfriend who knew enough of the truth to explain it to me in a way that made all the pieces of the puzzle fall into place.

That now I enjoy reading stories like these to see how creatively the writer can entwine the delicate things that describe a persons personality and see how real they can make the characters sound and what they will do with them.

But the ones who refuse to see the spiritual side always make the characters who are betrayed suffer so much more than the writers who do realize there are spiritual aspects in life to consider.

For all of you writers out there who have been to university and had the spiritual side of your mind amputated you should do a history lesson and find out the truth about those black costumes you all were made to wear when you graduated. That has a very VERY spiritual origin...its a spiritual aspect that Hollywood makes lots of movies about.

The thing is the evil side of the spiritual war we are all in couldn't careless what anyone believes just as long as its not the truth.

Think about that

A rather long convoluted tale about a poor naive husband and a stupid selfish wife.

From the results of many, many anonymous surveys pertaining to this type of situation, women admit to cheating on their partners three times more than men do.

When discussing previous partners at the start of relationships, it has been found that to gain an accurate figure you should divide by two the number given by men and multiply by three the number given by women.

The number of men marrying has decreased by approximately 20% in the USA and most Western European countries as men finally realize that the rise in misandry and extreme feminism has and will continue to impact all our lives.

I enjoyed your story. But it left me a little frustrated.

1) Deanna never learned about the thoughtless gift she bought.

2)Deanna broke her own rules about talking trash about Ryan to Jordan.

3)Deanna gave up her anal cherry and showed no remorse. Ryan being drunk was not a good enough reason. Why was there a hurry to give it up. She could have just postponed it.

Otherwise I enjoyed most of the story.

She actually gave up her ass to her lover rather than give her husband another shot. She did that because she was angry at having been thwarted in her plan by her husband's being drunk. Although she thought he'd never know, she did it to punish him. (SHE would know, and she could be warmed by that knowledge whenever she wanted)

I know it makes for a poor story, but when in one of these stories is a husband, in the beginning, going to confront a wife and say, you are cheating, pack your crap and leave. When you figure out it is happening why go through all the silliness and angst. At the end of the process it make no difference. Oh well.

Awesome series!!! He wasn't vengeful enough on the slut wife... At least he kept his self respect...

"They have unresolved issues in their own lives, and mix that with a dose of misogyny, and all they wanted was the women in these various stories to suffer." - I often see this in comments, and it's pure bullshit. Oh, I'm sure there are readers that it applies to, but wanting to see those who do wrong pay the price for what they did doesn't mean that you have "issues," or a misogynist. Do I have to be a victim of a crime to get upset if a criminal isn't punished?

/

BTW, all the Lit references were lame.

probably the only thing that i did not like was her trying to explain to him. i think if he ignored her til after the divorce it would be a good punishment for her. females love to talk it out.

It is a well written story, just not enough retribution on the wife, though.

How come Jordan never went home during the eight months he was away?.