Liv's Legacy: Paula Pt. 02

"So, we're both sorry, huh? Now let's enjoy the dance," she said, sounding much like Liv.

When we went back, Liv and Elle returned to their conversation, this time talking about physics, as we were to learn, Elle loved to talk about. They started to talk about what Elle called Phase Transition, a state where one thing was changing from one state into another state, but at some point in the transition, it was momentarily in both states simultaneously.

That had Liv thinking, and connecting it to me, and how there had been a point at which I might have resisted the church's teachings unconsciously, and had been both at various times in my life, thus making for much of my confusion, leaving me not understanding what all was taking place within me. It made sense to me. Elle was suggesting that all high school students should be taught that, and had it pointed out as a source of much of their confusion at various times.

It made sense to Caryn too, who openly had Elle clarify it for her, her love of Penny and the habits from church conflicting in her as they had. I had to say that it sounded as it was with me. The thought of it in my mind seeing my person as I often was both wanting another woman, and not wanting to go against what I thought were God's wishes, and those two in me for prolonged stays frustrating and confusing me no end. Perhaps that was what finally drove me to try to kill myself. It seemed as if it might be.

Somehow, at that moment, Elle became quite a bit more than just an unusually sexy looking person. Like Liv, her mind was fabulous, enthralling, really, and that is not said just because of my thinking—everyone was attuned to the conversation either listening, or entering with questions or opinions, mostly both.

After that conversation had run its course, the others engaged me; it was as if we were a separate group apart from Liv and Elle who kept on talking more or less ignoring the rest of us, or vice-versa. All the others, especially Ariel and Caryn, danced with me almost without end. It was all throughly enjoyable. Never had I ever envisioned that my life could be as it was turning out, or that I'd ever find a world that I dearly loved being a part of.

On leaving, we were given extended hugs and kisses. As well, Ariel asked if we'd be coming back in a most odd manner, as if she was anxious, but not in any uncomfortable way. Liv said we would, and I was smiling happily, my head nodding exuberantly. I definitely wanted to return, and I think Liv did as much as I did, but for different reasons.

* * * *

"So what did you think?" she asked after we were home.

"I loved it," I said without hesitation.

"And Eleanore?"

For whatever reason, I blushed. No, I knew why, but I wasn't sure I should say it, yet I did know there was no reason not to, save that it was about another person comparatively like Liv in a way.

"Paula, honey, she's smart, she's sexy looking as can be in one of the oddest of ways, but sexy nonetheless. It's okay to say it if that's why you're hesitating. I don't expect to be the only person you find sexy, or are attracted to if that's so. Say as is in your mind and heart. You know you can be truthful with me, don't you?"

I nodded. She was right. "I did find her unusually attractive and sexy. How could I not, she's so big where we often love women to be—her breasts, that is—not to mention that the rest of her is just about as sexy looking in an peculiar way. And Liv, she reminds me so of you, the way she talks, how she sees things," I blurted out.

"Yes, I expected you'd notice that."

"What about you?" I had to know.

"Hm, yes, as you said, she is very attractive, and quite sexy looking too, and she does all of that in a way I've never seen before. And I love her mind. More, she's honest, I think. Very politely, she said it was okay to not get close to her if it bothered me, and I'm sure she meant it in the most appropriate of ways."

"She did the same to me," I blurted out, interrupting her.

"Did she seem as if she was sincere, that is, not putting on something as a way of leading you on?"

"It did. She made me feel at ease with her."

"So did I, but I told her it didn't bother me, at least not in a bad way," she grinned.

"You—you mean you liked it? That maybe you wanted her to be touching you with her..." I suddenly couldn't finish saying it.

"Not exactly. Honey, sexy things are sexy things, and her things are very sexy looking, and when she did incidentally brush me, yes, I felt a slight thrill, but I wasn't about to let it ruin our dance, nor was I falling all over her and fantasizing. Well, maybe my mind did a little, but nothing that disturbed me unduly, or that I didn't push away easily. Is that honest enough for you?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Honey, if we go out, we're going to meet people, and they're going to affect us in various ways. Eleanore is an unusual person, kind of like Caryn. When we look at her we can't help but have our minds stray in noticing how beautiful she is, and not just facially. Have you noticed yourself staring some before you caught yourself quickly?"

I had. God, Caryn is about the most beautiful female I've ever seen, but she's so sweet and outgoing and genuine that I didn't keep staring at her, nor want her as I do Liv. I told her that.

"That's what I mean, hon. Nothing to worry over, or try to hide."

"Nothing other than that mind of Elle's," I had to say.

She gave a quick, hard, mirthful laugh. "Oh, yes, that mind of hers is something else indeed. To be honest, I hated to quit talking to her."

I nodded, understanding what she was saying, but then I had another thought, a connecting one that was revelatory to me.

"Liv," I began slowly, thoughtfully, "do you think it's possible that you might be so enamored of her mind that the rest of her will sneak in on you too? Do you know what I mean?"

"Oh, wow, baby, you have hit on something. Fantastic job of seeing things, and more, in connecting them," she said, and stopped, but I could see her mind working overtime. "To answer your question very honestly, yes, I guess that could happen, may happen if we keep going there to be with them. What do you think about it? Should we stop going to make sure it doesn't happen?"

Well, we were being honest, and it was a logical question to ask; a good question she asked too.

"No. If she's good for you, then she's good for you. You have to do what's good for you," I said, though somewhat sorrowfully.

"Fair enough, and the same for you. But if I read us aright, we may look at another, and even like her too much, but I don't think either of us will drop the other; at least I won't, and that's for sure. You know that I never want to be without you. You are so much my heart, my whole life. If it happens to you, and she's what you want, hey, I'll go if you want me to. I won't like it, but I will. I didn't keep you from killing yourself so I could put you in a box and keep you to myself forever, though darned if that doesn't have its appeal in a way," she said with a sly smile, her finger to her lips.

I had to laugh. "Yeah, same with me, but if I put you in a box, I'll have to make sure you can talk and I can hear you."

We both laughed.

"You know something, you're getting to be something else, the way you suddenly see things and connect them. You're good, honey," she said with a wondering look on her face.

"Do you really think so?" I asked, unsure about what she said, but wondering myself.

"Yeah, I really do. They may have been bottling up quite a spectacular person with all of their church stuff; restricting your mind way too much so you were missing what's in you," she said.

That had me thinking, and would probably keep me thinking for a long time.

"Well, that's our first time out adventure over with. Now can we take one of our sexy showers and make love?" she asked, a very honeyed look in her eyes, changing things somewhat more to her desires—not to mention mine that normally were the same as hers.

"Yes. I'd like that. Thank you, Liv. I can't help it, I adore you," I said with all the sugar in the world in my voice as I felt it in my heart.

Whatever it is about talking honestly, I'm not sure, but it's as if we open ourselves up to all things, and all love, for the love we made to each other was more than sweet, and very long lasting, not to mention very satisfying. Though I hated to give up her pussy, I had to feel myself being held by her, to know the loving comfort she always gave to me.

"Lord, baby, my heart feels as if it's about to explode with the love I'm feeling for you," my beautiful Liv told me.

"I love you more than I can say, Liv. I do. God, I love you so much," I about exploded with the love I felt for Liv too. "I can't imagine life without you."

"As long as I breathe, you won't ever be without me, hon. Promise you won't."

Chapter 13

We did go back to the club, but now the hugs and kisses weren't so dramatic, but they were still there, and meaningfully so. They were growing on us exponentially, like an extended family we had to see as much as possible.

After a couple of weeks, Liv held another class, and I went to most of the sessions with her. Just about all the girls were great, but there was no other group like the one I first encountered.

One Saturday, we were invited by Elle to her house. Our group—yes, we now considered them as 'our' group—plus some other girls that Elle knew were there. We all got along famously, and many questions were asked of Liv, especially by those new to us.

As time went on, Elle and Liv were becoming fast friends, but then again, how could they not, both of their minds were so alike in many ways, interesting to say the least. We were later invited to a get-together at Sally and Ariel's house, but it was just our group with Penny and Caryn, plus Mary and Elle. Liv and Elle were as if best friends, and Caryn and Ariel, along with Mary, were including me in much of their talk.

Even with how it was becoming between Liv and Elle, plus how it was with me with Ariel and Caryn, still I noticed Elle often watching us, sometimes together, and sometimes apart. Maybe it was how I had been so restricted as Liv called it, and maybe that helped what was natural in me, but I was being very observant as I noticed Elle. It had me wondering.

Liv's mind was much like Elle's, and Elle had no steady that we knew of. It might have occurred to me that she was casting longing eyes on Liv save that I did often observe her as she watched both us of us when we were together. It wasn't long before I began to wonder if she wasn't fantasizing herself being with someone as Liv was with me, but then that put Liv out of her picture, and that just wasn't so. I talked to Liv about it.

"Oh boy, did they ever miss seeing you for what you have in you. But no, I haven't noticed Elle looking at either of us, but then I may be myopic when it's about Eleanore, she so fascinates me with her mental machinations."

"Liv, what if she's falling in love with you?"

"Or what if she's falling in love with both of us, huh? At least in how you're seeing it."

Oops! That hadn't occurred to me strongly enough as she so plainly and easily put it.

"Yeah. Maybe," I said softly, my mind going off in search of that might be.

"Hon, what if she is? Is it bad with her?"

"That's hard to tell, but it may well be happening that way. I'm pretty sure she loves you, but I'm not sure about me, though who can say."

"All of that aside, we can't push it any. She may be embarrassed if she thought we knew, or suspected," she said.

" 'Push it?' " I asked.

It was one of those moments when one was caught when they didn't even know they could be caught—she blushed, and furiously.

"Oh, mercy, don't tell me," she quickly said.

"You're falling for her, huh?" I asked, but oddly, not with any worry on my part.

"To be honest, I hadn't thought of it, but then again, what's not to love? Darn it, how did I miss it? Am I really falling in love with Eleanore?" she asked with a look in her eye that told me she was asking it of herself, and only partially to me.

"If you are, it's okay, just as long as you don't leave me behind. I do kind of like her too."

"You do? I mean, that way?" she asked.

"Maybe. I do love listening to you both, and she does capture the eyes, and when we do dance with her, those breasts of hers make you wonder after a while. She's not like those ugly and mean women that sit behind us."

"No, she's not, is she? Boy, do we have a problem, or what?" she asked.

"As you said, we see what happens, and if it does, maybe we have to let her do it, whatever it is for her."

"Baby, you are getting to be so wise, and I mean it, and you know I'll never leave you behind. Anything that happens, happens with, to, and for, both of us. You know, this may give me a headache. I've never thought of anything like this before."

I laughed. "And you think I did? Can I borrow some of your headache?" I kept laughing.

* * * *

Liv finished a class, and in another two week break, she started another class. In the meantime, we all grew closer and closer together—Liv, Elle, and I, that is. She often danced with us, singly or all together, though she kept a discreet distance from us as best she could.

At last, after we'd had her over for dinner as we'd done a few times before, it all went askew for a moment. We were dancing in the living room, and somehow we suddenly bumped into each other. Maybe we knew it had to happen with the limited space, but if anyone bumps into Elle, they bump into her breasts—that's just how it had to be with her.

"I'm sorry," she quickly said.

"It's okay, Eleanore. We don't mind since we're friends and it's to be expected in this limited space," Liv said quickly to set her at ease.

"You mean you..."

"No, hon. In a way, it's kind of nice, don't you think? I mean, we're lesbians, and like men, just about all lesbians love breasts, right?" Liv said with an encouraging smile and an honest voice.

"Yeah, but normally I try to be careful not to push...these" she looked at her breasts, "on anyone."

"Understood, and we were very cautious about it too, and if you remember, you kind of apologized to both of us when we first met. You're bigger than usual in the breast department—and very nicely so on a very nice person too—and, as I said, it's to be expected in this limited space, so don't worry, just dance unless you don't want to now."

She looked at me with a question in her eyes. "I feel the same, Elle," I told her very simply and honestly. "Yes, at first, I was skittish, but as Liv said, we're friends, and the space is limited, but we love dancing with you, so if you don't mind, we don't."

It surprised me that I said that to her, but then again, maybe as Liv often said, when one speaks honestly, it opens one up, and Liv and I always spoke honestly, so maybe I was allowing myself to become open as I had never been before.

Elle was flustered by us, by our openness with her, and maybe because of how I knew she was feeling. At any rate, she suddenly blurted: "I really like you two, and now you make me feel as if I want to pull you both close to me."

That said, her face became beet red. Liv saved her.

"Women, and not just lesbians, generally always hug each other, and sometimes spontaneously, right?"

"Yeah, right," Elle said, accepting Liv's saving words, but she didn't hug us.

If Elle was bothered by us saying as we did, she hid it well, or tried to. I knew for sure that she liked us as we did her, that is, that it would be so easy for all of us to be together and loving, but that was up to Elle.

* * * *

As the next class came, Elle decided to attend.

"Just want to see what it's like to sit in on it, and get a sense of what others think about all that Liv teaches. I've never had a problem with any of it, but I know that there are many who have. Maybe it'll be good to know this stuff," Elle said.

She did attend all of the sessions, and spoke of them often with us after each one. We were getting the habit of being at each other's house on some days after class, and occasionally on Sundays. Our friendship just kept growing and growing, and Elle continued to dance with us as she always had, but though I still thought she'd like to, she didn't hug us. As far as I could tell, none of the others at the club were noticing anything different than as things had always been.

Liv had another couple of classes, but Elle didn't go to any of them, still, we did meet at her house or ours on many Sundays. Then, about six more months later, everyone was at our place when our get-together was interrupted by one of the students who had been in one of Liv's classes. She was frantic, and crying so hard she had a hard time explaining why she had come.

We were all more than stunned when she finally did speak so we could understand. She'd worried on the class Liv had taught, and had continued going to church as always, and for whatever reason, she felt she could trust her pastor. When she told him about Liv's classes and asked him a question he didn't like, she was astounded the next Sunday. He let everyone know of the classes, and more, he told the congregation that Liv should be shot. That was why she had come to see Liv. That preacher had gone on for several Sundays, and she was afraid someone was taking him too seriously, and had to warn Liv.

Liv tried not to let it affect her to where others could see, but I knew it worried her and so did all of our group, especially Elle.

"It's okay. I've always told everyone that we had to start telling it as it is, but that it was risky even if we did limit who we spoke to. I expected something like that before this, but I don't think anything will come of it. They just like to rile up the congregation when they easily can," Liv said.

The girl kept crying though Liv did her best to comfort her, giving her a hug and kiss on her cheek, then finally getting her to leave. Me? I couldn't leave her side after that, I was so worried. Even Elle stayed with us for a while after the others left too, though they made sure to offer Liv whatever she might think they could do to help out.

* * * *

"Honey, it's probably nothing, so don't worry yourself. However, I have thought on things like this, especially since we had our talk about Eleanore. Let me just say it: I'm pretty sure Eleanore has more than a crush on both of us, and as insurance, I'd like to push things with her if a chance comes along. Mercy, that sounds so crass and unfeeling. I'm not meaning this as strictly in a predatory manner, or to use her because she's convenient.

"What I mean, hon, is that I'm pretty sure I love her, and have for some time, and I'm pretty sure you do too. Now you tell me honestly as you always have done, do you truly feel that you love her?"

"Liv, would you really be saying this if that girl hadn't warned you as she did?"

"Actually, yes, I'd be saying it anyway, but truthfully, Eleanore is too beautiful a person not to want to love, but only if you do too. And if anything did happen, I wouldn't want Eleanore to be feeling she was stepping in only because I wasn't around anymore. If we love her, we shouldn't waste our love."

Crying was something I couldn't help doing. It was as if she was planning her certain death no matter how she said it. There was no doubt that Liv loved Elle, and I know I was in love with her just as I was in love with Liv. As Liv had said before, how could we keep from loving Elle, and I know that Elle loves ut too. Still...

"Yes, I think I love her too. No, I know we both love her."

Chapter 14

The following Saturday, we invited Elle to visit and have dinner with us. We each put on a brave front, and kept it all light, though there was tension from the warning Liv had been given. After we ate, the three of us cleaned up, fixed a glass of wine, and went to the living room.