All Comments on 'Liz Ch. 01'

because what you submitted is but part of a story, considering how page one ended.

I didn't score it, but am interested to read more of it.

This is the first page of a much longer story. What you have is well written but you should complete each story.

If Liz took Steven's virginity, is she Mark's real mother?

I hope that the next chapter will explain what the story is about.

I really enjoyed this, even though it's only the start of what's promising to be a really good story. I can already see that Mark is undoubtedly going to fuck Liz's brains out - I look forward to it. More please - Ken.

I agree withn the other responders - a good start, well written (for the most part) but it is clearly early in the story. It will be interesting to see where it goes from here.

but only a start. Might be interesting, has some good kink potential, but tell me more.

interesting start. I guess he cheated on Liz with his dad or they didn't get together till after Mark was born. I would like to see what the story is. I'd recommend trying to make longer chapters. It's hard to just start getting into the story and it ends. Other than that, well written....look forward to more.

Thanks for the feedback, guys. I know, this was pretty short, but I'm only just getting the feel for writing now. Hope to see you all again soon!

Definitely want to see what happens from here.

Hi Vanessa,

This is a great lead in to an ending that I can't wait to read. From your brief description of what Liz is wearing, to the subtle sexual undertone of the conversation she and Mark are having, you've got me dying to see what Liz has to show to Mark. I have a feeling he's in for the sexual ride of his life, and I can't wait to read Part 2. Please keep writing. You're a natural and your writing style has me feeling like I'm right there in the room with your characters. It's even sexier for me knowing that there's got to be a part of the real you in each and every one of your characters.

Morsheen

Why haven't you submitted additional chapters? It isn't nice to leave interested readers hanging.

This story has a lot of potential. I look forward to the upcoming chapters, hopefully they won't be as short. : )

I sure hope there's more chapters to this. Please continue, H V.

Last Vanessa' comment was on 12/6/10, Then she had not started 2nd chapter.. What happen?