Liz's Landlord

Liz was easily his worst tenant. Not one rent inspection had failed to reveal some small or overt violation of the tenancy agreement. At first it was just posters stuck to the walls. He ignored them. Then it became obvious that she had been smoking inside. The citrus air freshener, clearly sprayed in great volumes before his entrance, could not hide it. He also managed to ignore this, as well as the general mess and noise complaints from other residents. But then her payments began to come in late. She made excuses: Her boss's payroll lady quit, her aunt's chemo treatment recently went up, she recently changed banks, and so on. Finally, like the closing act on a shitty play, he discovered that she'd bought a pet. A cat.

It purred like a radiator and rubbed itself affectionately against his legs, leaving behind a generous quantity of ginger fur on his black trousers.

"It's not mine," she said immediately.

He ignored her and walked into the living room. The place was a mess. Clothes lay everywhere, on the couch especially. He saw a black thong peeking out from under a cushion. She had empty bottles everywhere - probably the remains of her most recent (and very loud) party.

"A bong, seriously?" he said, casting his eyes over the coffee table.

She let out a very audible gasp.

"That's not mine. My friend -"

He cut her off by walking into the kitchen. No surprises here, he thought grimly. The kitchen was also a mess. The sink was overflowing with dishes. The counter didn't look like it had been wiped down any time recently. He cast his eyes down at the two red pet bowls sitting by the fridge.

"Your cat's water bowl is empty," he said. "And you're two weeks late on rent."

She had been shadowing him nervously.

"I know, I know. It's not -"

"Your fault?" he interrupted. "Seems like lots of things are yours. Not your cat, not your bong, not your fault."

Two bright spots burned on her cheeks.

"It's not my fault you're such an asshole. You're not even supposed to be here. I had no notice. You can't just barge in like -"

"Actually I can," he interrupted curtly. "I can just barge in whenever I want. It says so very clearly in the tenancy agreement you signed. Maybe you don't remember? It mentions it alongside 'No pets' and 'no indoor smoking.'."

She scowled and made no reply. She looked truly sullen. Red faced. Avoiding his eyes. He looked her over. Even in the trashed environment that was her apartment, she managed as always to look effortlessly hot. He'd caught her by surprise today. She was wearing pyjama shorts that barely covered her plump ass and a grey tank singlet that was several sizes too big for her. No bra. From the side he could see the full profile of her breast.

As if sensing his gaze, she folded her arms over her chest. The movement pressed her breasts together. He could see the bumps of her nipples. He allowed himself to stare just a moment longer than was polite.

"The cat needs to go and I need your rent by Monday. If not I'll be serving you with an eviction notice. And for Christs' sake, don't leave your fucking bongs on the coffee table."

He left her in the kitchen and didn't look back.

He didn't hear from her all week. Occasionally he indulged himself in the memory of her tits. It was more than an eyeful that he'd managed to take away, and he savoured it greatly. Something about the way she'd crossed her arms, her expression of anger mingled with discomfort, was appealing to him.

Finally, at 7pm on Monday night, he saw her walking up the path towards his door. She looked sullen again. She wore black jeans and a black leather jacket and had a cigarette pressed between her lips. He watched her smoke it quickly before flicking it onto the ground. Delightful, he thought.

She knocked far louder than was necessary. He went to the door and jerked it open.

"Nice hour this is. I suppose you're here to give me your rent."

"I don't have it."

She stated this so calmly, and with such little preamble, that he laughed.

"Great. That's just great. And I suppose you haven't gotten rid of the cat, either."

"I don't want to get rid of the cat."

He blinked down at her. She had never been so lacking in excuses. She looked him steadily in the face.

"Lovely" he said with a bright smile. "Now that you're here I can give you your eviction notice. I took the time to print it out when you didn't show earlier. How convenient. You've saved me another visit."

He turned his back on her and went to retrieve said notice. To his amazement, he heard her enter after him.

"Look," she said quietly. Her voice seemed to break slightly. "I will have the money, but I really don't want to get rid of the cat. Please don't evict me."

This was too much. He rounded on her with a surge of anger that caught even him by surprise.

"You've got to be kidding, right? You don't want to get rid of the cat? Great. That's fine. I don't want a shitty tenant any more. You're being evicted. You and your cat can go and not pay rent somewhere else."

Before he could turn again, she clasped his arm.

"If you let us stay I'll make it worth it."

He raised his eyebrows down at her. Her grip was hard.

"Worth it?" He repeated. "You're the worst tenant I've ever had. How could you possibly make it worth it?"

She appeared to brace herself for a moment. And then, averting her gaze, she stepped back, and in one motion lifted her t- shirt and flashed her breasts at him. They seemed to burst out as she freed them from the tight fabric of her t-shirt. In the open light of his kitchen they looked bigger, bouncier and plusher than he'd imagined. She stood like that for just two seconds. Just long enough for him to let out a curse. And then she covered herself up again.

"I know you're a perv. I saw you looking at my tits the other day. Well fine. I'll let you do more than look if you let me and the cat stay. And I'll pay the money when I have it."

There was a silence.

"Get out of my sight." He managed to say eventually. "Get out of my fucking sight."

She left immediately, so quickly that it was like she'd never been there.

That night, David ate his late dinner in front of the TV. He had a beer, and then a second. He watched a movie distractedly. And then, with an almost bitter finality, he jerked off. This was not unusual in itself. The contents of his thoughts, however, were. The image of her breasts felt burned into his retinas. He thought about the way they'd dropped ever so slightly into place as she pulled up her shirt, and the pale creaminess of her skin, and the little pink nipples, erect from the sudden unveiling. He wondered what she'd meant: I'll let you do more than look. He wondered what they would feel like pressed against his hands or smothering his face. He wondered if she let any of her string of dates jam their dicks between them, or suck on them, or cum on them.

With a sudden grunt of lust he felt himself tipping over the edge. His frantic jerking met its end, and came with unusual force into his hand. He drank another beer and tried to push the whole thing out of his mind. She had to be evicted.

Tuesday came and went. He told himself he was giving her one last moment of grace in which to give him her rent money. He found himself looking in the direction of her doorway sometimes, trying to catch any movement from her apartment. But she kept unusual hours, and he didn't see her.

Finally, as Wednesday afternoon approached, he forced himself to go striding up the path towards her door. In his hand he held her eviction notice folded neatly into an envelope. He knew he ought to just put it straight into her letterbox. Why didn't he put it straight into her letterbox? She probably doesn't even check her mail anyway, he thought, as he knocked.

She opened the door so immediately that he wondered if she'd been standing by the door. When she saw it was him her expression dropped.

"Yes?" she said bluntly. Based on her makeup and hair, she looked like she was ready to go out. She wore a short, low cut black dress and heels.

"You still haven't paid." As he said this, the cat wandered by. "And still with the damn cat, I see."

"I'm getting the money tonight. In full."

He rolled his eyes. "And let me guess, you're putting Mr. Kitty up for adoption tonight too? I'm here to give you your eviction notice."

She looked extremely pissed. "Listen, I can pay you. Tonight. I can even pay you a fucking pet bond if you like."

He scoffed at her.

"Pet bond? Pet bond? Listen, you're a serious pain, you know that right? You're always late on your rent, I'm always having to put up with noise complaints from your fucking parties, you smoke bongs and god knows what else inside, you've had this cat for fuck knows how long. You can't seriously think I won't evict you."

As if on cue, the cat made another entrance. It twined itself around her legs, purring loudly.

"I'm not going to beg you not to evict me," she said coldly. "Like I said: I can pay you tonight. And if you want to see my tits again, to 'sweeten the deal', I can do that."

She sarcastically air quoted the phrase 'sweeten the deal', and folded her arms petulantly.

Her pragmatism shocked him a little. Despite himself, he found his gaze drawn magnetically to her breasts. They were cupped closely by the bodice of her dress. If she were to raise her arms, he suspected they might pop straight out. His cock twitched.

"I've already seen them," he said warily.

She rolled her eyes at him. "For what, three seconds? And I don't just mean to look."

She seemed to scan his face for a moment, calculating his response. When she detected a hesitation in him, her demeanor shifted noticeably. She nearly smiled.

"I know you want to."

Fuck, he thought.

"What exactly are you saying you'll let me do?"

She wasn't interested in negotiating. She stepped backwards.

"Why don't you come in and find out?"

He stepped over the threshold. He wondered if he was being an idiot. He realised her eviction notice was crumpled now and he stuffed it into his pocket.

She didn't waste any time. As he closed the door behind him, she pulled down the front of her dress. Her breasts seemed to almost spring free.

"You're insane," he said.

She made a dismissive sound. "You're not exactly looking away. Your dick's probably getting hard right now."

She wasn't wrong. He could feel his dick beginning to strain against the front of his pants. His mouth was dry.

"I'm not fucking or blowing you, though."

As she said this, she turned away from him and took a seat on her couch. From this distance she regarded him coolly. He realised that she believed he would accept these terms. And as he approached, he knew she was probably right. His dick was throbbing and stiffening even now.

"That doesn't leave many options." He was standing over her now, staring openly at her tits.

With a sigh, she pinched her nipples briefly and cupped her hands under her boobs, lifting them up as if to display herself. Her hands could barely contain them, and her soft flesh bulged out between her fingers . "I'm sure you'll think of something."

Lust seemed to sear him from the inside out. He knocked her hands aside and grabbed at her, squeezing her tits firmly in his hands. They were soft, warm, and surprisingly heavy. He pawed at her, squeezing and pressing as hard as he dared, feeling the points of her nipples pressing upwards into his palms. She made no response except to blink up at him, apparently unaffected by his gropings.

"I get to keep my cat for this," she stated, matter of factly.

He didn't want to hear about her cat while he had his hands full of her tits.

"You can keep the cat if you suck me off."

She looked outraged.

"No way! No. I already said I wouldn't do that. You can cop a feel and jerk off, nothing more."

He freed a hand to unzip his fly. "I guess you don't want to keep your cat that much."

At his, she moved as if to stand, but he pushed her back.

"I'm being more than generous already. Suck me off and you can keep the cat and pay me tomorrow."

He didn't even bother dropping his pants. He reached into his fly and pulled out his dick. It flopped out, half erect, level with her face. She regarded it with disgust, her nostrils flaring.

"Fuck you. I don't want to suck your dick."

"Fine. Get evicted then."

He went to zip his fly back up, but she caught his hand. With an expression of pure disdain, she said:

"Okay. Okay. Fine."

She took his dick into her hand with apparent reluctance.

"For christ's sake just don't take ages. And don't cum in my mouth."

She took a breath, seeming to steady herself. She held his cock gingerly. It lolled obscenely in her small, pale hand. He waited, savouring the view of his cock hovering so near to her face and the light touch of her fingers. Finally, with a look of disgust still curling her lips, she wrapped her mouth around the head of his dick.

The sensation was exquisite. He groaned softly, despite himself. Her mouth was warm. He felt his knob resting against her tongue. His dick stiffened even more, swelling almost painfully. Before he could enjoy any further, however, she pulled away.

"You're a real asshole, making me do this." She looked furious.

He laughed. "And you're not exactly sugar and spice yourself. Stop complaining and get on with it before I change my mind."

She gave him a cold look and returned her mouth to his cock. Her cheeks were burning. She looked angry, and humiliated. He wondered briefly if her unwillingness would be a turn off, if she would succeed in making him feel like an asshole. But then she began to suck and move her mouth, and he couldn't have cared less. She bobbed her head rhythmically up and down his shaft, lapping at him as she went with her tongue. He felt his balls tighten up and his eyes rolled back.

"Fuck yes," he gasped. His dick felt rock hard. The room was silent except for the quiet sounds of her sucking and his own quickened breathing. Her eyes were clenched shut. A frown knitted her forehead.

He could see her tits bouncing steadily with the motion of her head, and grabbed at them as she sucked him off. She made no move to stop him, focussing instead on maintaining her rhythm. He rocked his hips to meet the motion of her head, grunting occasionally as his cock pushed deeper into her wet little mouth. He felt a rushing urge to push her head against the back of the couch and fuck her face, to pin her there like that with her tits arching up. He could see in his mind's eye her little struggle to push him away, and hear the wet gagging sounds she would make. He placed his hand to the back of her head and pushed his hips into her head. She made a muffled sound of indignant protest. He ignored it. He forced her deeper onto his cock, and he held her there for a moment before rocking his hips back. His cock pulsed and twitched against her hot tongue. She blinked rapidly, breathing heavily through her nose. He saw that her eyes were watering.

"Fuck yes," he repeated.

He then set the pace, holding her head and thrusting himself into her, grunting and gasping as his dick pushed at the back of her throat. His dick was wet and smudged in places with her lipstick as he pumped himself in and out.

It felt too good to last long. He slowed his pace to stave it off, to savour the tight, maddening sensation of her lips wrapped around his dick. But he felt his climax building rapidly. He remembered how clearly she'd said "don't cum in my mouth". Just the thought of shooting his load into her mouth was enough to send him over the edge. With a final grunt of pleasure, he held her head firmly in place as he climaxed. His cock pulsed and twitched, and he felt himself shoot three distinct bursts of cum into her unwilling mouth.

The moment she felt him stiffen up, her eyes widened in alarm and she tried to pull away. But he held her in place, and she felt cum flooding her mouth. She spluttered and made incoherent, muffled sounds of outrage as he shot ropes of cum against the back of their throat. Her hands balled into fists and she punched at his legs as he emptied his balls with groans of relief.

The moment his grip on her eased, she wrenched away from him, coughing and grimacing. She spat out the mouthful of cum right onto his jeans and glared up at him. She looked incensed. Her masara was running and her mouth and chin glistened with drool and cum.

"Fuck you!" She said thickly, cum still running down her chin. "You fucking cunt. I told you not to fucking cum in my mouth!"

She stood and shoved him out of her way. Without a moment to lose, she then stormed off to the kitchen, ran the tap and skulled a glass of water. He chuckled as she immediately poured herself a second one and downed it also.

"As I'm the first guy to bust a nut in your mouth."

She glared at him and pulled up the front of her dress.

"The cat stays. I'll give you the money tomorrow. Now get out."

He hesitated. His dick was still wet and pulsing faintly. It had felt so good that he thought he could almost get hard again at the memory of it.

"The cat stays if you let me... come around every so often."

She seemed to cycle rapidly through a combination of shock and outrage.

"What?"

"You heard me."

There was a long pause. She ran a hand fretfully through her hair.

"You're sick."

He rolled his eyes at her.

"Come off it. You're the one who tried to leverage your tits to get out of an eviction. You thought you could flash your boobs at me and I'd forget about everything? Yeah right! You got more than a fair deal here."

At this, she crossed her arms defensively. She had that same sullen, cornered look he'd seen in her many times.

"Fine." She snapped suddenly. "But if you want to 'come around' I'm going to also get a rent reduction."

He raised his eyebrows.

"A rent reduction? Aren't you demanding. If you want a rent reduction you might find I want more than a whiny blowjob."

She gave him a disdainful look.

"Whatever. Look, I've got places to be. Can we not talk about it right now?"

He shrugged. "Sure thing. I'll see you tomorrow with your extremely overdue rent. Looking forward to it."

"The feeling's not mutual," she muttered.

With an unaffected smile, he waved mockinly at her and left her standing and glaring at him in the kitchen.

As he opened the door to leave, her cat made a final, affectionate pass at his legs. He squatted briefly and stroked its soft head. He had a feeling he would give her a rent reduction.