All Comments on 'Lizzie'

Lovely.

More comments.

Wonderful characters and slow developing relationship was appreciated.

Well edited though this old English major did see two spots where duplicate words got you in trouble.

You got a 5 from me and with it my thanks.

Lovely story. The sex is completely superfluous. More please.

A very long, excellent story. Loved the characters and plot. Thank you for an entertaining piece of escapism. Gave it a high five!

jntiques

Nice and lovely story. Just the kind of stories that I like.

Congratulations.

I hope to read more stories liked this.

5* for you.

I apologize for my English, is not my native language.

thank you

I wish we had more information regarding locations. Where did she walk? Where did they each live? We were given so much detail about obscure folk groups and their music, but almost nothing geographical. His father lived somewhere in Scotland. Lizzie lived half way between Scotland and where Dan lived. Lincoln was enroute. A river was nearby. But near where? It seemed rather impersonal.

But that is probably just me.

I enjoyed your story a lot. I read romance stories more for the characters and the relationship then for any explicit descriptions of intimacy.

You did develop the characters your nicely and they kept my attention. However, I felt it was a little slow at points. I think you could have cut it by 10-20% and made it a little more compelling by doing so. (I know that my own first drafts benefit when I go back and tighten the writing up.)

One last observation: your dwelt a bit on their respective travels in the rain, so much so, that I was expecting something bad to happen ( especially since Zeb had died in a car crash), but the shoe never dropped. I wasn't quite sure what to make of the sense of foreboding that never came to fruition.

The story was overlong, but it struck a chord with me and I stayed with it and was glad I did. I am a senior citizen who lost his mate and finds the loneliness sometimes very difficult to bear. I was fascinated with the mental processes of both Lizzie and Dan and how they developed their feelings; almost as a surprise to both of them. They had been so long alone that they almost didn't recognize it when love caught up with them. I can't identify with that. I look around me and evaluate the situation when I meet a new woman even though at my age, real romance is unlikely (but not impossible). My next birthday will be 80. The slow evolution of their love was indeed like a piece of gradually intensifying music (like Elgar's Bolero) and it was worth the time to build with it. I have to admit that the music they talked about was completely unknown to me which left me a bit left out of it. I really did appreciate the description of the artistic process Lizzie went through and her methodical organization of her days and pastimes gave me new incentive to make something productive out of my time. I am currently involved in two home-based businesses, but I do aspire to read more, listen to more music (although I have a more classical bent than either protagonist here) and to even try my hand at writing. It's the organization of the day that makes Lizzie's life work as well as it does.

We the readers knew from the moment of their meeting that they were destined to end up together. I, too, expected some catastrophic event to occur to bring them together; probably from the rain, but was not displeased that it didn't happen. All in all this was a very pleasant reading experience. 5*

This was the first of your stories I've read and just loved it. Thank you and I look forward to catching up on your earlier work. 5 stars.

Thanks for a sweet, long, digressive story. I loved the musical references: very like my collection. I doubt if either "Henry the Human Fly" or "Changing Horses" can be found anywhere else in fiction separately, let alone together. I was slightly worried that if this story was set in 2015, Lizzie was only about four years old when they came out...

Excellent story, well composed and done nicely in the third person. Good settings and character development.

Thank you.

The melding of two independent lives took time, but no more than it should. It was enjoyable watching the them accept their feelings for each other. Thanks for the romantic love story.

I only have one suggestion. Little Girl was what Zeb called her. It was their personal phrase. Lizzie and Dan needed one for themselves.

This story was soothing but a tad too slow. I'm 23 but later on I'd love to live like Lizzie did with Zeb and then later on with Dan. Also I agree with one of the commentators that little girl was a personal phrase and Dan and Lizzie need a new one.

This is a wonderful story!

Generally I tend to skip stories too long to read in one session, but so many of your others are outstanding that I came back to this one. Beautiful pacing! The slowness fits their characters and situations. You probably could have cut it by a quarter or a third without damage, but it certainly didn't need anything like that.

One very minor matter of substance: the section where each wonders whether he or she is falling in love with the other, and then dismisses it, doesn't feel quite right to me. As it is, each has worked out a life and routine that's been satisfactory, and each worries that the other wouldn't feel the same, and that's plenty to explain the caution they show. But this really covers two or three short paragraphs in a pretty long story, and even as it stands it's not totally implausible.

Thank you for an excellent, moving story, Demure. Another one, I should say.

I love the story.

I hate a lot of details that are simply wrong and the lack of research. The riverwalk, the town, the village etc, etc some hours of research and you have names an places and distances and then you get a real story.

Now you have a bullshit literotica thing

Way too long, way too many pointless details that add nothing to the storyline, the pacing is extremely slow, the characters whilst likeable are not painted in any form we can get a grip on in our minds eye, after 64k words all I know about Lizzie is that she’s short, fairly fit, has untidy hair and a good voice, you put more effort into her house description than describing her. The story is also littered with errors, what on Earth is a “watercooker” for example? There is no such thing, it could be either a kettle for making hot drinks etc, or a water heater for bathing/washing hot water, sort it out!

In short, I’ve rarely seen a story that’s more in need of a severe editing and beta/proof reading by someone other than the author.

Regards, Ppfzz. 4⭐️