by VirtualScott
While I have an extensive vocabulary, I must humble myself before a master of muse. I thoroughly enjoyed your story until you suddenly made a left turn at the hospital bed and lost me with "She wasn't focused on me, after all. Both of us stared at the hazel eyes that looked up at me in wonderment." Does this represent the "moment of clarity" many people experience just before death? Over the years, I have seen many instances where someone who has been in a coma for an extended period, suddenly regains consciousness for a limited time before lapsing into a coma again and dying. If this is the case in your story, I'm with you; but if there is some other implied meaning, I didn't get it. All-in-all, it was an excellent story and exhibited characteristics of how "power corrupts" and "absolute power corrupts absolutely."
I read this story more than a year ago, before I set up my profile. I lost the link and was unable to find it again. I was looking at random stories this evening, saw this one had high marks, and started to read - it took me all of ten seconds to realize I had found it again. Thank you for an excellent story.
Your work is excellent, my only thought was that Alexandra should have been the redhead. Might sound trite but as you formed the characters in my mind I saw her personality more in that light. I couldn't put this one down; not that the sex wasn't good, but the story was better.
Definitely one of the better reads, even without the erotica. Could use a sequel, or...something. But definitely one of the better reads.
I legitimately felt sadness at the end simply because I knew the story was over and there was no more to read. Thank you for a spectacularly written piece.