All Comments on 'Lockdown'

Maybe better placed in non-erotic! Boring, it also wasn't long.

It was dark and sad, but that's okay. Not all stories have to be HEA or be fulfilling in some way.

And the means of detection of the cheating was certainly unique.

Lacking any effort to explain or understand the story, you just killed it.

Just a concept: why would someone that selfish, greedy, thoughtless and cruel kill themselves? Most people at work knew she was fucking the boss, she has no self respect or scruples, and she obviously thinks of no one but her self. Suicide was gracious and cheap for her husband. Why would she be gracious to the man she was totally fucking over? She's going to get the kids, the house, suit her employer for sexual harassment, and probably get a promotion as part of the settlement. Suicide was totally against her self-serving lying nature.

I like originial! 5*

Damn that was depressing!

The setup was unique and worked really well, but then it just fizzled out with the suicide. What a selfish bitch. She destroys their marriage, breaks his heart, then tops herself and leaves him to raise her grieving kids on his own.

If there is a hell, she deserves to burn in it...

Why have a lot of back and forth dialogue between husband and wife when a quick suicide permits the author to say adios suckers! Gave it a 3 when when a better effort would have garnered a higher score!

Infidelity clearly pales in comparison to suicide. What a train wreck. As with your other LW pieces, emotionally intense and compelling. Thanks

that felt real. i mean that depressed me a bit so idk if i can say i enjoyed it but damn it was good. i guess making me feel something is what a story is suppose to do so it was a good story. ty for the read :)

Loved that comment! I really liked the story. Because it was in LW, I’m sure majority of readers knew what the wife really was doing. Having us feel for the husband believing his wife died while knowing she cheated took skill. Great description of the tragedy. I’m guessing some won’t like the wife died before telling the why, but I thought it worked really well. I doubt any reason would’ve mattered to the MC. 5 Stars.

With respect, it's hard to imagine that someone who lied so easily and so often would be overcome with guilt when caught. I could be wrong, but I don't see her taking her own life so easily. She's selfish, but she wants more that she is entitled to. She folded too easily. You don't get more through suicide. Although I suppose she could have survivor's guilt. Either way, it was a very good story and very original. Thank you.

I can't understand why he'd want to vist the grave every year.

very moving and sad, LOVE slap hapy papy #9 {assonomeous coment}

You wrote a story that was silly in beginning, middle and end. Suicide was stupid twist for sake of twist.

I should have paid more attention to the darkness warning in the beginning. Funnily, when Stephanie's daughter says Stephanie is very sorry for hurting him I thought suicide might be coming up, but it still bothered the shit out of me, because I was still thinking nahhhh.

I told this to HotProf1973, and he heeded my request in the next story. Whenever a beautiful woman is killed in a story there should be a note in the start that "a beautiful woman is going to be killed in the story." Kind of like this is a cuckold story warning. You can kill men, kill ugly women, but not beautiful women and not kids without a clear warning (ok facetious about the ugly women- don't want to piss off feminists).

Ok, trying to put the shock aside, I will now make a comment. It is hard to believe she got to the killing herself that quickly since she seemed like a go after it kind of person, and since she seemed a generally happy person. However, will ignore that.

I'm much more interested in her story than this one though. If her husband meant so much to her why did she cheat? Was it for the promotion, or blackmail, why doesn't she at least try to explain it away? I know this is probably not your intention, but I'm so curious about her life now. How did she get there? What in her background (growing up in poverty), her psychology that made her be "live to work" kind of person, which might have led her to screw the much older VP for the promotion? What made her cheat when she obviously loved her husband so much? What happened with her those three days where she despaired so much that she would take her own life?

In one sense suicide is a very selfish act, especially when you have young children. On the other side how does someone who is selfish kill themselves? It's a selfish act, but not by a selfish person.

Full 5 stars. Very impactful! But god damn it fuck!!!!! Now I have to walk around and be nice to every Tom, Janet, Dick and Harriet. Fuck!!!

You have done something that a couple other authors have managed this week. You have come up with an entirely new scenario for catching a cheating wife. Those texts and the call would have been a shock, but having her roll up at home with everyone thinking her dead was really cold. Her requisite stupid comment, "I didn't think it would hurt you, and also the children, our parents, the other wife and children etc." , is the last we hear from her. After the meaningless suicide note, the cheating bitch cheats her family one last time by taking her own life. No happy ending here, but another great story. Easy *5 from me.

How could anyone enjoy this? No sex, a suicide, everyone in the end is unhappy. Probably should have been posted in in Fetish for the masochists.

At least the wife is dead.

Sad, but good story.

Lesson for us all.

That made for a horrible story. A terrorist, deaths, betrayal and a suicide. Not a good recipe for an entertaining story. Sorry. Nothing wrong with the writing. And you didn't make light of a terrorist bombing that takes innocent peoples lives, but I felt it was inappropriate for this site. Then you had her commit suicide which I really objected to. Suicide is NEVER the answer and even suggesting it in this scenario is offensive and not the message that needs to be sent in today's society. Yes - you warned us that this was dark. But why post it in the first place? Maybe in Non-erotic but that wouldn't have made it any more palatable. I just wouldn't have had to read it.

1 star

I was loving this story and was waiting for the big get together where they could argue it out. Her suicide spoiled the story for me but still 4 stars for the writing up to that point.

..... but was OK for all that as the story moved along nicely .

What I found less OK was Steph's suicide and Denise's husband walking away .

The suicide was selfish , as Steph herself admitted .

And Denise sent her husband packing .

That was it , story over !!?

Given that the story moved quickly to its conclusion , the conclusion was over in less than a blink .

I feel it would have made a better read if our author had added some more content and drama to the winding up of this story .

Thanks for sharing , all in all a good solid read .

really sucks for him. He doesn't get to have that final confrontation or understanding. She gets the "easy way" out while he has to handle it with the kids. Probably no life insurance money either. I would visit her grave also but I would piss on it. What a selfish bitch.

Nice story other than the dark cast on it but you did warn us.

a lot of selfish people like his wife are weak willed.

she cheated....because she could.

she ended her life...because she could.

her note said it all, her note and her distinct LACK of replies to her husband. he was an ideal to her. she cherished that ideal. but it was hers. she OWNED him. she was free to do w/e her impulses wanted. She had a family, friends, a nice job, and her possession. She got caught. No one liked her anymore. Her possession was no longer hers. And she...ran away. She'd have to do more than say, "i sowwy". She had a lot of hard work to do. A lot of work, while no one liked her (love yes, like no). And her possession found and dated others. She didn't want that life. She was very intelligent from what little her letter said. Emotionally intelligent and cerebral too. She didn't suicide over emotions. Life suddenly got harder, and she said, 'nope'. I cannot respect her, even if i understand her.

What purpose was served by describing, at some length, the.biracial nature of.the marriage? At best it seems an insensitive attempt to make the plot more angst ridden. At worst, the author intended to portray women who cross a racial barrier in choosing a black man as their partner are not only predisposed to destructive self indulgence, infidelity, and inadequate coping skills but also tend to be irresponsible mothers.

Ouch...

I was surpised the cheaters had not yet found out about what happened at work. Cheating is hard and keeping stories staight and lies to a minimum is part of the deception. Doesn"t everyone check Facebook, get emergency alerts or know a co-worker whom would want to share the news? Difficult to believe that they would be that careless but perhaps they got complacent after 3 months. It would have been an interesting twist had Stephanie found out about the attack a few minutes before she sent her, "Coming home now" text.

Dark as hell story but entertaining. The characters are one dimensional but the plot drives this well enough. Full marks.

Some questioned how a selfish person could commit suicide. It was because she was too selfish to put herself through the condemnations that would be thrown at her.

Just a little nitpick: She can't answer the phone because she's driving, but can text?!

The only good thing I could say about Stephanie is that she, at least, knew exactly who she was.

Hell of a way to find out about an adultery. And man, is Cedric a good, decent man! It never even damn on him once that she may not have been in the building, right up until her last text message. Me being a untrusting asshole, I would have already known about the cheating by her second message. Bleak fact of life: most of the time, it's the good guy that get fucked over.

Well... the lesson, as always: if you genuinely love someone and do not wish to hurt that person, do whatever necessary to NOT HURT that someone. The usual nonsenses, like "you weren't suppose to know / you lost nothing / I love only you", are all, as Stephanie found out to late, quite stupid.

My one sole problem with this story is the kids - not sure how many Cedric and Step had, and it was getting confusing to try and figure out if it was the oldest kid or the youngest one, both girls, that were speaking. 'Wouldn't have hurt to put some name and/or age there, is all I'm saying.

Overall... a very sad tale, yet again. But still a great one.

In the same sense that I enjoy, for example, 'Anna Karenina' or 'King Lear' or any other well known tragedy.. It was interesting, engaging and well-written. I thought the wedding dress was OTT but apart from that the wife, a very competent and successful person, made a judgement that seemed best to her given her knowledge of the situation and the personalities involved.

As for 'suicide is NEVER the answer'-you really should get out more. It may be my line of work but I can think of many cases where, in retrospect, suicide would have been a far preferable alternative for everyone to what actually transpired. Yes, if the personalities had been different, the counsellors better or the US medical system had been redesigned, there might have been a different outcome-but they were as they were.

what a self centered fucking bitch

she didn t inflict enough pain on her husband so she inflicts more pain on him and the kids by committing suicide .... fucking bitch

everything was about her what she wanted and to hell with everyone else

did she deserve to die ? yes but it should of been a slow and agonizing death with lots of pain

There was a hellova lot more story here that needed telling, but after the ending, don't even think about attempting to try telling it in a chapter 2.

The only useful aspect to her suicide plot device was to END this thing, completely.

Even, if her "suicide" was revealed to be just a troubled dream he was having throughout the fitful first night of sleep, you just can't recover from the age old problem of writing yourself into a corner on this one.

Yes, I agree, the cheating reveal was a powerful idea that you built this story around. But it needs to take shape around establishing the complex feelings of loss he had to experience over the course of just one day. Dealing with the kids, also NOT something to have shied away from, but in developing those exchanges with the core message that this story was supposed to communicate to the audience, would have been better. We absolutely needed a confrontation. That would have been the hardest part to pull off well because, of course it ALWAYS is in this genre. But it is the time the reader finally gets to see how well you have established the characters, and absolutely essential to story success. There is little to no character development in this story, and that has nothing to do with the suicide plot device. You could have ended this poorly in a hundred different ways that ALL would be lacking because of no character development.

For me, even if you took an "All cheaters must pay the ultimate price for this" BTB angle, detailing his roller coaster ride of first fearing her death, to ultimately wishing for it, should have required a lot more inner dialogue, and more reveal of her character motivations as well, to provide balance, and ultimate closure.

Despite the finality of her suicide, this story offers no closure to the reader, and that was a result of plotting, pacing, and execution in the writing.

I appreciate your efforts to try difficult things, and create original ideas. I encourage you to keep working at the craft, and getting the editorial help that you already have. Also, it was a very nice touch to add suicide hotline info in the author's notes. Us jaded readers, never know if there is someone out there in cyberspace who might need that service. So, kudos on that bit of professionalism.

Thank you for your contributions and Good luck!

5 stars from me. Not sure why the current score is less than 4, this was a really good story with a really original storyline that I’d never seen before. Readers bashing most every LW story we get on this site with their low votes and hateful comments is likely why we don’t hear from some great authors much anymore. Maybe the website can do something so votes from hate mongers don’t count!

Unique way husband discovers wife’s infidelity. Suicide spoiled the story.

Good but sad story. Thank you

. . . the length of the building part, because we could all see where this was going. That part was overdone. But the ending, abrupt as it was, was good. Some have complained that it was too abrupt, and left too many questions unanswered, but that’s how suicide usually happens, leaving unanswered questions. Sedrick will always wonder why this had happened.

And I’ll give you points for the unexpected. I simply assumed a racial angle since they were an interracial couple, but you didn’t go there. Grendelpuppy would have had her boyfriend be even blacker, with a foot long cock, but you didn’t do that.

he doesn't have to split everything. He can at least thank her for that

Again, bad decisions usually result in unfortunate causes. This was pretty unique, congratulations, but as one might expect, no clear explanations but clear inferences.

T.T.

Anon, I didn't see the mention of race the same way that you did. I saw a black man who had a family, a job, a seemingly happy marriage, and just a normal life. He wasn't portrayed as a one dimensional super sex object as is the usual place of a black man in LW. Definitely not an ir story.

The only part that bothered me, a little, was the almost required portrayal of a intelligent, successful, white woman as the cheating wife. Why do the cheating wives of other races get such short shrift?

The ending keeps this story from being the usual tired LW cliche. Very raw emotions by the characters makes this believable. Write on!

Yeah, it was dark, but then so is life.

An interesting and dramatic way of finding out about the cheating, incidentally.

But it is my understanding that 9/11 resulted in a number of divorces pretty much as described here.

I don't know about the level of remorse that she felt because if what she was doing bothered her that much when she was found out, it had to have been on her mind. Somewhat. However, I gave a 5 because of the writing and the believability that it had. Thanks for the offering and please continue to submit stories. One of the commenters was right in that the comments have gotten so mean spirited that only people who get off on the abuse submit. These stories are somewhat cathartic in a way that the "please fuck my wife and make me watch" stories don't cut it. So, thanks for sharing your stories.

pappy

Reminds me of an episode of NYPD Blue. When a guy found out his wife who he thought had been killed in the 9-11 attack was actually murdered by her boss who she was having an affair with. The boss used the attack to hide the body.

I agree with MightyHorny’s assessment of the wife, she was a selfish slut to the end.

4* because the suicide was too tidy.

I was not a fan of the suicide. Brought it down one number. Still pretty good

NO way Sweetie’s Mom left her alone before Hubby & kids were back in the house!

Great premise. I agree that the standoff could be shortened and the aftermath expanded. Honestly, I would have read 20 pages worth of follow up to a setup like that...though not if I knew it ended in a quick wrap up suicide.

I'll read your stuff any time. Dark, yes. Very well done and I don't think I've seen this one anywhere else yet--the premise, I mean.

I give this 5 stars.

A unique situation, and not all that unrealistic at all given the world we live in now.

Nothing was overdone in my eyes, you just told the story. The discovery of the affair may have been obvious, but this story was good in the telling.

The moral here for me is that you just don't know what the fallout can be after betrayal. There's a full spectrum of outcomes in the real world... from acquiesce (i.e., the cuck brigade) to reconciliation, through to murder and suicide.

This story just goes to illustrate the point that if you get caught doing things you should just not be doing, you may not be happy with the outcome. The social and legal changes that have descended on our culture mean absolutely nothing if people act or react on their own thoughts and cognisance, and nobody can do anything about that. It's always the innocent who will pay.

For me, if you think about what you're doing, and then think about the possible outcomes, then that should be enough to set your head straight. Can you hurt the people in your lives that you are meant to love, and that love you? Parents, partners, friends and most of all, children? Can you take it if you end up being the bad guy? All for some cheap, shallow thrills?

Yes, a deserved 5 stars for a tale well told, and for a unique plot.

But I got the help I needed. I am glad to be alive and thank the Lord He saw me through.wwKmo3

Excellent idea. The standoff was longish but it worked. The ending surprised me but it worked too. Dark as advertised? Yes, but very well done.

aftermath was a bit of a letdown

Good story. Original premise, well written, but the end was a bit sudden and fell a little flat because of it. The suicide was hard to buy. Real life doesn't have to make sense, but good fiction does.

Maybe having her story picked up by the media could have humiliated her into such a drastic expression of hopelessness but I didn't see such a deep love where she couldn't go on without him reflected in the rest of her actions, such as lying, cheating, and even blowing him off when he was clearly freaking out trying to het a hold of her. She couldn't pull her boss's dick out of her mouth for two minutes to have a conversation with her panicking husband, but she'll kill herself over him moving out? Seemed a stretch, as written. Maybe a halfhearted attempt as a cry for help or pity, but not actually doing it.

That aside, it was still really good.

Thanks for the story.

Cog

What was the point of including the color of skin in your description? It seems pushed, or included to be "edgy" or politically correct.

Personally it could have and SHOULD have been eliminated as suspiciously racial. Sorry, but that is my take (truth) on this forced acceptance issue.

I wish you "libs" would leave the rest of us alone to live as we see fit. Just because we understand that "similar peoples of similar backgrounds" adjust best to cohabitation/marriage (a religious marriage, not one of convenience or judicial acceptance).

Smokepole

I normally figure things out, but I was dense with this one. Very nice tense hostage situation. The end was pretty abrupt, but it all was put together very well.

Well done- Engish was clean. keep going! Wife's action felt a little extreme. I like happy endings though so biased.

Moral as far as I could understand is not to trust poor white trash. His parents were right.

People like you say white are racists BUT dont you think you outed yourself?

Trust has NOTHING to do with colour! I am from Europe and this thinking gave us the 2. WW with millions of dead AND the Holocaust. Do you think it isnt ENOUGH?

Its a shame to remember someone from the GREAT NATION about the costs to free the world from this pack! And i wonder there they come back from.

To rnebular you did a good work as i always say interrest me and this one did it!

Thank you for your writing.

Where did that attack come from. Sheesh, make a joke and people with no sense of humour make personal attacks.

Not sure what I outed though. Am I racist against whites?

I would like to (hopefully) put this issue to rest. Anyone that reads any of my stories should recognize by now, that race is NEVER going to be the focal point or issue for me. In this story, the bi-racial couple is completely normal now, so it shouldn't have any focus. I can't speak for every part of the nation, but in the few places I've lived and where I live now, it isn't odd to see mixed-race couples anymore. Also, I want to say from me personally, I think it's stupid to call it mixed-race in the first place. We're all human, just have different color skin. I know everyone has a different background story, but race isn't the point here, nor will I ever intentionally make it the point.

Here, the husband being black and the wife being white had no meaning, other than me describing what they looked like.

To all those that have commented good or bad, thank you for taking the time to read and express your opinion. My next story is also a dark tale, but I have more light-hearted stuff coming after that, in the People Watcher series, because people watching is fun ;)

As one excellent author on this site always says:

"Keep your stick on the ice!"

People love flipping the race card here.

Those commenters claiming the moral high ground while pointing their fingers and passing judgement on writers here are ignorant of their ignorance.

Their comments reflect that they believe their perspectives are the absolute truth and the final say. Write what you will. Don't expect any love here and ignore the random commenters who will try and label you as something you clearly know you're not.

The plot that is.. frankly I enjoyed how you described the couple as if skin tone was nothing more than an adjective. When I first read it my thoughts were around this being a reverse racist situation but as it Turned out meant nothing.

Great job of depicting the feelings of loss someone in the situation would experience. Really twisted plot heat story

what about the kids? bitch was beyond selfish.

The Wife Showed how Selfish She truly was.. The Writer did a good job on this Story .

'This will hurt the kids', I believe. How about fuck them up for the rest of their lives?

Colossally stupid and selfish.

5-stars & Favorite

I made this story when of my favourites, well written⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

THANK YOU rnebular!

Again. That was a tough one, with a lot of emotion all the way through. No news here, another cheating wife ruins lives.

Good story and well crafted. The ending is extremely sad but no doubt pleases the BTB trolls it's the ultimate ending for them.

Committing suicide is an extremely selfish act leaving the people who love you behind to deal with the aftermath of your act.

4 for you.

Once again we are subjected to selfish people hurting everyone close to them, but in this story it happened 3 times in one day. First, in the explosion with all the body bags, Second, with the betrayal of the affair, finally, the cheater's selfish suicide. I think the suicide was a bit of overkill in this story. She should have suffered for years and years all alone for her infidelity - that would have been far better.

Waaay too much pathos for a story of less than 7000 words. The suicide, uncharacteristic for the wife's described personality type, is a blatantly gratuitous source of extra pain for the husband, children and other family members portrayed in this unfortunate submission. The author's words about suicide prevention strike a sour note after he has so flagrantly used the tragic topic as a cheap plot trick.

She did the right thing. Now Sedric can get over it and try to move on without having to go through all the drama.

At least she did have some regret and a small measure of conscience but still was a coward and a slut. Suicide was at least her last selfish act.

u made the mix race relationship too easy.

the author writes well and develops interesting themes. But in all too many cases the stories skate the surface of what make the story deeper and emotionally compelling.

The story was in the high 4-star rating, so I went ahead and gave it 5. I do appreciate the info at the end for the suicide prevention hotline. Suicide is the worst thing a person can do. The disrespect to those left behind is just unforgivable. I've known a couple of people who took the cowards way out, one leaving his wife and kids to try to cope with the results. I am of the firm belief that the last thing that must go through their thoughts is what have I done. Get help if you think suicide, is the answer.

I hated your story, but your comments more than made up for it. A powerful message, you are a damn fine writer.

Between a three and four-star rating. Plot and all were fine, until thud, she's dead. What? It needed some more-developed ending, some how and why.

The audacity of the slut wife remained with her to the very end. How dare she have put back on her wedding dress under those circumstances? To put her soiled flesh back into that gown was the equivalent of spitting onto the faces of her husband and children. Had she not already debased the marriage and dishonored her family enough? Ignore any apologists who might try to offer an interpretation of her death bed attire as evidence she was remorseful or penitent. There is no reasonable way to put a positive spin on such a callous and distasteful choice. Good riddance to a trollop filled with so much hate, disrespect and cruelty.

Wow. She committed suicide. She left her kids. Where was all this guilt while she spent 3 months ducking her boss? Yeah he knew it was over, but a split family is not the end of the world, especially as she would get primary custody, most likely. She clearly had mental issues. But the lockdown premise was priceless.

Good story, some parts confused me:

-How old were the kids? 8yrs old seems too old for "mommy's sleeping"

-Going out for a meal having just found out that your wife/daughter is dead seems off

-The tone of the text messages were weirdly casual, "bit worried" rather than "Hide somewhere! I love you! We're all praying for you" or something.

Offering these as constructive feedback, I liked the story overall.

Good story. She saved him a lot of money...

Uggh. Good twist but the suicide ending is dark. Think of how much that fucks up her kids. She chose to be selfish again. Don't understand how someone can be so distraught in losing her husband's love that in one day/night she commits suicide after seeing he left with his ring behind. Yeah it means divorce, but if you are so wrapped up needing your spouse in your marriage, then why risk it with a 3 month long affair. Answer: she never though it through and never thought she would be caught. But people should always examine risk vs reward for big decisions, and a 3 month long affair is a BIIiG decision. Here the risk was not just divorce but also suicide? That would change the dynanic for choosing to be unfaithful.

,No situation is worth suicide,I had a traumatic childhood, but it never got that bad. It appears he was willing to hear her out. good but sad story

It's wonderful that the lying whore is dead! And Cedric will definitely find himself a faithful wife and a new, loving mother milking her children. And the carrion will rot in hell.

At least she did the right thing and killed herself. But as I said before, a woman isn't sorry she cheated, she's sorry she got caught. And for the probably the thousandth time a writer falsely tries to equate an act of betrayal and disrespect with love.

Interesting until the suicide. Thr ultimate selfish act in such a situation. Her children will be scarred for life and never forgive her. Adultery does not warrant suicide. Especislly when there are children involved. Those who think otherwise should take a long hard look at themselves in the mirror.

Unique situation.

She made sure to destroy her family for good especially harming her kids by taking her own life.

Original and well-written story. Nice job.

Ed

oof... I thought you handled the suicide and post-suicide portion of the story very well.

Not a fan if the suicide option, especially so early in the process. If she had such overwhelming guilt and shame, then why did it go on for three months. Oh well. She had mental issues and it is a story. People are complex and do stupid, sad, irrational, and disastrous things.