Lockdown

Eventually those victims that hadn't survived were brought out in body bags. The sad duty of identifying someone's remains is never easy, and it was made worse when the condition of the body is the horrible result of a detonated explosive. Sedric and Denise numbly walked from stretcher to stretcher, as the bodies were wheeled towards waiting vehicles. Most of the bags were zipped and strapped to the gurneys.

As the last of them was secured in an ambulance, the officer returned to inform them that they would reach out to them when they had positively identified the bodies, most likely using dental records. He again apologized for their loss, and then moved to help his fellows preparing their gear for transit. Sedric stood, shock and confusion written on his face. Denise turned to him, equally as shell shocked.

"I have to tell my kids something..." he said quietly.

"My kids are out of the house now, but I still have to tell them their father is dead."

The pair moved together and hugged, an embrace that each of them needed badly, as if they would float away if they didn't anchor each other. After a long minute, they separated.

"Well, let's exchange numbers and go home. I don't know about you, but I can't stay here anymore," Denise said at last.

They exchanged numbers and left the scene, both severely heartbroken.

***************

About an hour later, back at their home, Sedric sat with his kids, trying to explain to them that their mother wasn't coming home again. His parents, as well as his wife's parents, were there as well, offering what support they could.

"Daddy, what do you mean? Why's Mommy sleeping? Will she wake up?" his youngest asked him.

Sedric was silent, trying to think of what to tell his 8-year-old daughter. The best he could come up with was to reassure her that Stephanie was in a better place now. He tried his best to comfort his children but was having a tough time just keeping from losing it himself. He was still in shock from the day's events and having trouble fully processing how different their lives would be from then on.

Thankfully his mother-in-law came to the rescue. "Kids, why don't you both go get cleaned up, and we will all go out for something to eat? Are either of you hungry?"

The kids both nodded, got up and went to put their school backpacks away in their rooms. The short minute they were gone, both sets of grandparents looked at Sedric, worried about him. Sedric's mother sat next to him then.

"Honey, you'll get through this. We're all here to help you out, you know that right?"

Sedric slowly nodded. "Thanks, Mom. All of you. I just can't believe she's gone..."

The kids returned, bounding down the stairs as only kids know how to. With their return, all the adults putting on a brave face. Sedric ushered the kids out to his car, his wife's parents riding with, his following behind in their car. They had decided to go to their favorite family restaurant, where Sedric and Stephanie would routinely meet with her parents for dinner.

They no more than had sat down, when the owner came out to greet them. Having come to the place nearly once a week for several years, she knew the family well.

"Hey, guys! How's it going?" she asked the group. "Sedric, are these your parents?"

"Hey, Simone. Yeah, this is my Mom and Dad, Gina and David," Sedric answered.

"Where's Stephanie at tonight, working late again?"

Sedric hung his head, barely whispering, "She's gone..."

Sedric's father spoke up, "She was in that building downtown today."

Simone's eyes got wide as saucers, before she closed them and slowly nodded. She put her hand on Sedric's shoulder and squeezed. "I'm so sorry..."

Just then, his phone dinged on the table. Before he could even look at it, his father-in-law sitting next to him peaked at the screen.

"What the heck?" he blurted out. "It's a message from Stephanie?" he stated, as if asking the group a question.

Sedric blinked. "What?"

He reached for his phone, opened the message and read it out loud. "Hey, Honey, heading home from work now. Sorry was super busy today but I'll make it up to you tonight."

Everyone at the table was speechless. Simone squeezed his shoulder one last time and backed away quietly. All at once, all the adults spoke.

"How did she -"

"Where - "

Sedric held up his hand. "I don't know what's going on, but we need to find out." He tried calling her, but it went to voicemail. He got a short text reply.

Driving C U soon

"She's driving, I guess heading home. We need to go, I'm sorry Simone," he said, as they all got up to leave.

The owner nodded, "Have a good night, and I'm sure we'll see each other again next time."

The adults piled the kids back in the car, and everyone rushed to get back to Sedric's home. It was a long five-minute drive home, the kids asking the adults in the car why they left before eating. At one point, Sedric's daughter asked, "Does this mean Mommy woke up?"

Sedric had no real answer for her, so just said, "I think so, but we need to go find out for sure."

As they pulled onto his street, he immediately spotted his wife's Jetta parked in the driveway, right where it was supposed to be. His wife's parents' car was still parked in the other spot, so he and his parents parked their cars on the curb. The group walked up to the front door, the kids running ahead of the adults. They got to it just as she pulled it open, kids rushing to hug her legs. Sedric walked up to his wife, momentarily so happy she was alive, he hugged her tightly and shook with unshed sorrow. She hugged him back, then leaned back to look at him.

"Mommy," both kids nearly wailed as they held on tight to her legs.

"Sedric, Honey, why are you crying? Why are our parents here? What's wrong?" she asked all at once.

"I don't understand. How are you alive? I thought you died..." Sedric replied.

"DIED? WHAT?" his wife asked loudly. "I'm fine, silly. Why would I be dead? What's happened?"

Sedric stood tall like a board, stiff and robotic. He walked in the house and without preamble, turned on the TV. The local news broadcast had been replaced with the evening news program, where they were still showing footage of the wreckage that had happened to her building earlier in the day. Everyone else had followed him into the room, the kids finally releasing their hold on their mother.

Sedric spoke up and pointed to the television, "THAT happened! Your office was taken over earlier today. They had some crazy lunatic surrounded for an hour or two, before he blew himself up. They evacuated EVERYONE, Stephanie. The people that didn't walk out alive were carted out in a few body bags. I watched everyone walk out, and then about died inside when they wheeled out the bodies. I was sure you were one of them."

Stephanie blinked hard, slowly looked around the room, all eyes on her. She scanned each face, before turning back to her husband. A pin dropping in that room would have sounded like a hammer hitting the floor. She blinked again and cleared her throat.

"I... I..." she tried several times to start, but nothing came out.

"WHERE WERE YOU?" Sedric practically yelled, demanding answers.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know," she sputtered, not making much sense.

The darkest thoughts Sedric could imagine creeped back into his conscious thoughts. All the conversations from earlier in the day came to him at once, crashing into him like a tidal wave.

She was somewhere else, with her boss.

Red-hot anger boiled in him at that moment, his glare focusing on his wife like a laser. "You were with HIM, weren't you?" he accused.

Stephanie's legs buckled and she flopped down onto the couch she'd been standing in front of, head down in her hands. She sobbed uncontrollably, as the other adults in the room all looked at each other, stunned at the turn of events.

"Holy..." muttered Cedric's father, with his mother nodding slightly in agreement with his unfinished sentiment.

"Mom, what's going on?" asked Sedric's daughter, eyes as big as saucers.

"Come on, kids, let's give your parents some room," Stephanie's mother said, gathering some sense of the bomb that had just gone off. They followed her out as Sedric advanced on the prone form of his wife.

"I guess that answers that. How long?" he asked, almost eerily calm.

Stephanie's shoulders shook as she sat and cried into her hands. She kept mumbling, "I'm sorry," over and over again.

"HOW LONG??" Sedric yelled again, making her snap her head up to look at him. He had yelled at her more that night than all throughout their marriage.

She blinked away her tears as fresh flowed freely. "Three months," she sobbed out, before burying her face in her hands again.

Sedric bit his lip, hung and shook his head, and walked into the kitchen. He pulled down his bottle of 18-year aged Scotch, pouring a generous amount into a coffee mug sitting on the counter, the nearest cup he could find. He took a large gulp, nearly half the mug's contents, enjoying the warmth as it moved down his throat. He could hear the arguing going on in the living room.

"Who is he? How could you?" demanded Stephanie's father, shaking with rage. "We raised you better than that!"

Sedric was in a fog, now completely unsure of everything in his life. The only thing that made any sense to him then, was his kids. They had to be confused by everything going on. They wouldn't understand what their mother had done. His daughter might have some idea, but no real understanding of the betrayal that had happened. He didn't understand how this could happen to his happy family. Sedric questioned himself repeatedly in his head.

Where did I go wrong? Why did she do this to us?

His confusion and anger were compounded with the fact that a mere couple hours before that, he'd thought his wife was dead. His shock was worsened when he got a text message from Denise.

Is she there? Did she tell you where they'd been? While we thought they were dead, those two whores were fucking at some shitty motel.

Still confused, but his anger quickly returning, he responded.

She came home like nothing was wrong. I can't describe how mad I am right now after all we've been through today. The kids have been through hell too.

Her reply came in a minute later, yelling in his living room still on-going.

I'm leaving him. There's no way I will ever be able to forgive him for this. Good luck with your situation, and I wish nothing but the best for you and your kids.

Sedric nodded, mentally agreeing with her sentiments. He replied to her, wishing the same, before turning to face the living room again. He knew he'd have to do something but didn't want to face his cheating wife just yet. The yelling ceased when he re-entered the room.

Stephanie got up and ran for the bathroom, locking herself inside. Sedric smiled for the first time that night. He hoped she felt like shit. He made a silent wish for her to truly understand how she'd fucked up their lives.

The kids came running back into the living room after hearing their mother run and lock herself in the bathroom. Sedric held his kids tightly, whispering that he loved them. Sedric's parents offered to let the kids stay with them, and he asked if he could join them. Stephanie's parents hugged Sedric, her mother smiling sadly. "Don't worry about us. We'll stay and take care of her."

Sedric grabbed the bag he'd packed, set his ring on the table along with a note, and left. It was simple and expressed exactly how he felt.

Steph, you can keep this, I don't want it anymore. I will keep the kids over at my parent's house until you move out or we sell the place. I don't really care anymore.

He left, not caring that she was upset. He'd loved her completely, and she'd ripped his heart out in the worst way possible. He decided that he would try to keep his kids from suffering as much as he could, but he couldn't live with her anymore.

***************

"I don't care, Mom, I can't believe she would ever do that to me, to us," said an animated Sedric. "She was somewhere else, having SEX with another man!" he nearly yelled.

"HEY!" yelled his father. "Don't you talk to your mother like that," he warned. "I get it, this is a shitty deal, but your mother's just trying to help."

"Sedric, I just want you to know all the facts before you make any rash decisions, that's all," his mother responded, trying to calm her irate son. "I'm not saying you have to forgive her, just that you should find out why she would do something like this."

Her tone made Sedric feel bad for his verbal rant, so he apologized. "Sorry, Mom. It's been a rough day," he lamented.

"I get a sense that's the understatement of the year," she replied, hugging her distraught son.

She had tried to offer a possible explanation as to why her daughter-in-law had been involved with her boss, suggesting that maybe he was blackmailing her or something even more sinister.

"I'm still going to see a lawyer as soon as possible."

After Sedric calmed down, he bid them goodnight and joined his son in his old bedroom, sleeping on the second bed his friends had used whenever they slept over as a kid. He woke after a restless few hours of sleep, having felt like he had just gone to bed. After taking a quick shower, he went downstairs to find both of his kids already sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast.

"Want some eggs?" his mother asked him, holding up a pan full of freshly scrambled eggs.

"Sure, that sounds great," he replied, helping himself to a plate from the cupboard.

Sitting with his kids, he ate the eggs and some toast that was also on the table. After eating, he spoke up.

"Look, guys, things are going to be a bit tough in our family for a while," he said, looking at his kids and then his mother last. "For right now, let's just try to survive one day at a time, okay?"

They both nodded, before his daughter spoke up. "Dad, Mom did something bad, didn't she?"

It broke his heart when his teenage daughter asked the question, because he was sure his soon-to-be-ex-wife's actions were going to affect the kids, no matter how much he tried to shield them from the fallout.

"I'm not gonna lie, your mother has done some stuff that I'm not okay with. I don't know what we're going to do about it yet, but it hurt us all."

"Maybe you should talk to her," suggested his son. Sedric was proud of his kids at that moment, showing more maturity than he'd expected.

"I will have to eventually, but not sure I can do that right now," he said. "I'm pretty mad at her right now."

His answer seemed to placate them, but two days later his daughter mentioned it again.

"Dad, I talked with mom last night, and she seems really sad. She said that she hurt you, and that she's really sorry. She kept saying that she didn't want to live without you. Can't you talk to her, see if maybe you can forgive her?"

Sedric was dreading the coming confrontation, knowing that in his heart, he was already certainly planning to divorce her. He drove back over to their house, sad that he could no longer think of it as his home. Before he got there, he sent her a text message.

I'm coming over, we need to talk.

He got no response, so when he arrived at his front door, he knocked before unlocking and opening the door. Sedric called out, "Hello, anyone home?"

"Steph?" he asked the quiet house.

Uncertain as to where she could be, he searched the house. When he got to the master bedroom, he fell to his knees crying. There, in the center of the bed, was his wife. She was lying on the bed, dressed in her wedding gown, pale and lifeless. He immediately called 911 but could tell by looking at her it was already too late.

***************

The official cause of death was determined as suicide after the autopsy, which unlike on TV, took nearly 3 months to complete. The excuse they gave was that the full toxicology report took a long time. She had ingested an entire bottle of sleeping medication, along with almost every other type of pill she could find. There had been nearly ten empty bottles next to the bed. He didn't care enough to push the issue.

Sedric and his family saw a therapist to deal with the grief, the loss of both wife and mother. She had left a short note for him, a parting message of pain and sorrow.

I am so sorry for hurting you, for destroying us. I never thought you would find out. It was never going to hurt us.

How stupid.

I won't insult your intelligence with any lame excuses, just tell you that I never stopped loving you. I got selfish and it cost me everything. I know this will hurt the kids, but once again I think I'll be selfish. I'm sorry for causing you pain and hope that you all can someday forgive me for my failures.

Always yours,

Steph

***************

Sedric didn't share the letter with his kids but did tell them that she'd always loved them very much, and that they would always remember her. He'd planned to divorce her but didn't want her gone forever. His heart broke every time his kids asked about her. Mercifully they were young enough that as the years progressed, they also thought less and less about the woman they'd known as young children.

He was angry at her for a long time, for cheating on him and for taking her own life. He eventually forgave her for betraying her vows, if for no other reason than to move on with living for his kids. His forgiveness for her taking her own life took longer, but after a few years, Sedric was able to move on. He did start dating again, hopeful for the future.

Denise divorced her husband as she'd promised, and he lost his job due to the inappropriate relationship. He ended up moving away from the city. Denise and Sedric didn't fall into each other's arms but did become friends.

Sedric continued to visit Stephanie's grave every year on her birthday, leaving behind flowers and a few tears for all that was lost.

***************

I hope you enjoyed this. Let me assure everyone that I respect emergency response professionals very much and could never do their jobs. Also, if you or anyone you know is at risk of suicidal thoughts, PLEASE call someone. Call a friend, call a family member, or if nothing else please call the Suicide prevention hotline, it's free. There is nothing more permanent in this world than death, and there is always someone that will be hurt afterward.

1-800-273-8255

Sometimes all it takes is a smile. Try it and see how many you get in return today.

Feel free to comment/vote as you feel appropriate and have a great day!

(I am NOT going to steal JimBob44's favorite closing comment no matter how much it makes me laugh!)