London Calling

Act 1, Chapter 8

"Mutti, Danke," Peta said, kissing her mother goodbye. "Bye, Annika," she said, cuddling her daughter tightly. The little baby gurgled and held her hands out.

"Mein Gott, I cannot leave her," Peta said, picking her up and rubbing her nose with hers.

"It'll be okay, Peta," Hans said gently, taking Annika from her. "First day back. Are you ready?"

"Ja," Peta said, kissing him on the cheek. "Thank you for this. I really needed to start back."

"It's fine," Hans said. "Christophe will be back tomorrow, and we will all go out for ice cream in the afternoon, with Mutti," he said, blowing raspberries at Annika. The little baby laughed, delighted, clapping her hands.

"Look at this hair," he said to Peta. "So beautifully curly and dark. When does the blonde hair start to come in, you think?"

"For me, it was about a year," Peta said. "My hair was always very dark at the start. Mutti said so."

There was the sound of a car horn.

"That's my cue," Peta said. "Take care, my angel," she said, kissing Annika goodbye.

She was heading back to London. An easy out and back set of flights. Her stewarding was going to be a bit rusty, she was sure, but she'd passed all the assessments and was ready to come back. And...Peta smiled. She was on the flight training programme at last. She still glanced down to the book in her bag, the older 737 manual now an A320 manual.

As the taxi approached the airport, Peta thought of Sam. What was he doing? Where was he? Was he happy?

***

"Thanks, Angel," Sam said, kissing his girlfriend goodbye. He left the house and made his way to the tube station, three-piece suit and briefcase in tow.

New job, new love, new location, new life.

He'd made the move from south of the Thames to slightly above it. They'd managed to get a flat in a semi-detached flat near Hammersmith, and he was working for a construction company on the south bank. Sam felt, for the first time in years, that everything was starting to come together.

He came out of Charing Cross and walked up the escalators, passing people on the left as he usually did, before leaving the station and heading for Trafalgar Square.

Pigeons parted as he jogged between the lion statues and past Nelson's Column before he crossed the road again and made his way past the Canadian embassy. Getting into the office, he greeted everyone before heading to his cubicle at the end.

"Okay, what have we got?" He asked his team, heading out to the break out area.

"We have the new Johnson & Johnson contract. They effectively want a cruise ship with a penis at the front," said one of the interns.

"Jason, be serious."

"He's not joking, look at the sketches the exec sent over."

Sam studied the drawings. "That's awful. And Jason, I'm serious, you're right. A very lumpy penis mind."

"You've got a meeting with the New York office this afternoon," Casey, the other intern, said as she handed him a coffee mug. "I've said you'll walk over and up to Covent Gardens later."

"Covent Gardens, Casey, and thank you," Sam said, taking the coffee and looking at the next set of drawings. "Whose building idea is this, for the Western National Bank?"

"Mine," someone shouted at the end of the office.

"I love it", Sam shouted back. "Come see me tomorrow and we can talk about submitting it. Okay people," he said, waving his team on to their desks, "let's make some magic here. But not that kind of magic, Casey," he said, watching the intern pull a card from Jasons ear.

***

The first flight back had gone well, and now Peta, having changed, had a few hours to kill before she'd need to sleep for the early morning flight back.

She wanted to go to Harrods, which would be the end of her day, before going back to Heathrow, but in-between she wanted to go and do a few things for herself in the centre of London.

She loved Trafalgar Square, and Horse Guard's parade, they'd be the first stop off after leaving the tube, for sure. Thanks to Sam in years past, she knew London pretty well. She glanced at her watch. She needed to get going if she was going to make it to Harrods before closing time.

Jumping on the Piccadilly line, and travelling into central London, old habits died hard and she changed for the Bakerloo line, preferring the lack of people on the older tube as Sam had told her back in the day. She got a seat, and waited for Charing Cross. Not long now.

***

The meeting with the New York team had gone well, but there was still so much to do. The client wanted a Viennese style to the atrium. He rolled his eyes. Who these days was paying for that amount of marble these days?

Sam was now rushing back to the office. He had a design scope meeting. He was rushing back. He had to get through Trafalgar Square, and started to jog.

***

She had just left the station, and was crossing the road over into the square. Her heart seemed to lighten, she could remember the first time they'd walked here together.

He'd been so nervous about taking her around London, and then they'd had that adventure with the horses...she smiled remembering the straw he'd pulled out of her hair. Her knee high boots clunked as she walked past the lion statues, and made her way across the square.

***

Sam was now in a tearing hurry. He glanced down at his phone, seeing a message, distracted, and in his haste then bumped into, and knocked someone.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," he said, bending down to help the woman with her suitcase.

"It's okay, danke," the woman replied, and turned to him as he helped her up.

Familiar green eyes met familiar blue eyes and an unfamiliar thick brown beard.

Sam stared at Peta. "Hey," he said.

Peta stared back. "Hey...yourself," she said, recovering.

Neither was really sure what to do next.

"It's good to," they both began, then stopped speaking.

"I," Sam began. "I," Peta said too.

They laughed, and Peta flicked her hair back out of her eyes.

Sam's expression softened. "Hi, Peta," he said.

"Hi, Sam." They gazed at each other.

"You look great," Sam said.

Peta laughed. "I don't, but thank you. I need to lose the baby weight."

"Oh...you had a baby?" Sam said, uncertain.

"Yes, I did," she replied carefully.

"Okay," Sam said, a lump rising in his throat.

"You grew a beard!" Peta said, trying to lighten the mood.

"No no, don't do that," Sam said. He took a deep breath. "It's Hans', right?"

"It is," Peta said.

Sam nodded.

"I haven't taken any photos of Annika yet," Peta said, realizing. "Not any you can see yet."

Sam nodded, silently. "I'm really happy for you, Peta," he said, slowly. "I'm glad it worked out that way, anyway. You both really wanted kids."

"Ja," Peta said. They both stood there, now looking at each other with sadness.

"Look..." Sam said, quietly looking at the floor. "I have a bit of time. Would you like a coffee? Maybe we can...say..."

"...goodbye?" Peta finished for him.

Sam looked up at her, his eyes a little wet. "Yes, I think so," he said. He gestured to one of the coffee houses near them and offered her a seat.

They sat together for a while without saying anything, only speaking to give the waitress their coffee order.

Sam broke the silence first.

"You know, you look amazing. I just want to be clear, you put yourself down earlier, and I think you look amazing, and you always will," he said, taking a sip of his mocha.

Peta smiled ruefully. "Thank you, Sam."

"I'm not in the same headspace I was in last year," Sam said. "I got a new job, and I met someone. We've moved in together. It's been a real whirlwind, and I'm getting used to some changes, but...yeah, actually," he said, smiling, "I am happier than I think I've...ever been." He was lying.

Peta's smile turned to a more neutral expression.

"I'm...pleased for you," she said, but her expression said otherwise.

Sam hesitated. "Look," he said, "what did you expect was going to happen? That I would stay static, never get better, maybe never meet someone?"

"No," Peta began, but Sam was in full flow.

"You literally left me at the Rose Garden and never spoke to me again," he said, and he glared at her. This was new. Peta wasn't sure she had ever seen Sam angry.

"Like, I get it, you say no? Fine. Second time of asking, I get it. You do not want me in your life like that. And that, again, is fine. But you just...ghosted me. Just acted like I didn't exist. Like everything we had was nothing."

"I was pregnant," Peta said, carefully. "I was focusing on the unborn baby growing inside me. I said no because I needed to be around the father, so she could have the best life she could. I made a sacrifice..."

"Sacrifice? Sacrifice?" Sam laughed. "Give over. You could have had us both in your lives. I would have made space for Hans and..."

"Annika," Peta said.

Sam stared. "But...that's...that's...one of our...names..." he said, tearing up.

"Ja," Peta pursed her lips. "Hans liked the name too. And I really was fed up with being nagged by everyone for a name."

Sam felt choked and looked down into his coffee mug.

"That hurts," he admitted. "That really, really hurts."

"I'm sorry," Peta said, and she meant it.

They both looked away, almost together, before looking back at each other. "This is the most difficult conversation with you, I think I've ever had," Sam said.

"Ja, me too," Peta said.

"Where did I go wrong?" Sam asked. "I lost a friend..."

"Out there in the wilderness? See, I listened to your British music," Peta said, trying to joke.

Sam bit his lip, trying not to cry. "Where did I go wrong, Peta?"

"You never went wrong," Peta said, gently taking his hand. "I'm sorry, Sam. It was never about you. I wanted to do the right thing for Annika. That's all that mattered from the moment I found out I was pregnant."

Sam nodded sadly. "I understand," he said. "I just wish you had maybe talked to me about it before you just up and left me hanging by the side of the road. It was one of the most painful moments of my life."

"You think it wasn't for me?" Peta said. "I never wanted to say no to you once, let alone twice."

"And yet here we are," Sam said, holding his hands out. "Two times a loser."

"You were NEVER a loser to me, Sam," she said. "Never."

"Peta..." He gazed into her beautiful green eyes. "It should have been me, Peta," he said, his blue eyes tearing up again. "It should have been me."

Peta's eyes teared up too. "I wanted it to be you, too," she whispered. "The dates didn't match up, and it was really clear she was Hans' girl." Suddenly, she was lost in the moment, and as she cried, he cried too. They embraced, silently sobbing, for the life they'd lost together.

"I should have come back," Sam said, leaning into her shoulder with his chin. "I should have never given up on you in our twenties. I should have chased you to that airport, should have stopped you leaving."

"I shouldn't have left," Peta whispered. "Remember New Year's Eve? I should have said yes to you. It should have been the easiest decision of my life, and I couldn't face it." Sam buried his face in her shoulder. She reciprocated.

Sam's phone buzzed, and he snapped back, quickly checking it. "It's the office, I need to go," he said, taking out a packet of tissues, and offering one to Peta before taking one for himself. He blew his nose loudly, and Peta laughed, wiping her tears away.

"You still sound like an elephant with a cold," she said fondly.

"I think I always will," Sam said, with a laugh. They looked at each other.

"I feel calmer," Peta said.

"Me too," he replied.

"So what now?" Peta asked.

"Now...I go to work," Sam rose, putting a tenner down on the table. "This is on me. Look, Peta," he said, picking up his briefcase, "it's been great to catch up. But we should probably..."

"Yeah," Peta said. "I know." She looked at him. "Stay in touch?"

Sam shook his head. "I don't think it's a good idea, I'm sorry. For you, or for me."

Peta nodded, dropping her head towards the ground.

Sam hesitated, and then stepped forward, taking her face in his hands. They looked into each other's eyes. He leaned forward and gently kissed her.

"I am always going to remember you as the first girl who took my heart, on that sandy beach in Greece," he said, and Peta's lips trembled at his words, but she held her nerve.

"Goodbye, Peta. I wish nothing but the best for you, for Hans, and Annika," he said, turning away and stepping into the road, tears forming as he walked away from her.

Peta stood up, wrapping her coat around her, her gaze never leaving the sight of Sam's back until she lost sight of him in the crowd by the tube station.