Long Term Affair - Consequences

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Without any success in finding Steven, she contacted the attorney at the number in the folder and requested a meeting with her husband. One time together after all their years of marriage was all she asked for before she signed the divorce papers. A week later, Steven and Stacey were at the park where they had taken their girls when they were little.

It was a sunny day with only a few white clouds floating by when Stacey sat down on the bench next to her husband. For the first time since she left on that trip, he saw the woman he would always love, and felt tears well up in his eyes. Try as he might, he couldn't stop loving this woman.

"Hi Steven, I've missed you," she said softly.

Abruptly, all he said was, "You have your meeting. What do you want to say?"

She saw his tears and felt the pain she had caused. Tears ran down her face as she took his hand in hers.

"First of all, I'm sorry I lied, cheated on you with Greg, and broke our marriage vows. I was so wrong, and deep down I knew better when it started. I should have stopped it before it went too far, but my selfishness and hubris overrode my rational thinking, and I fell into a stupid affair. Yes, he seduced me, but I let it happen. This is all my fault and you didn't deserve any of this, and I'm sorry for that and I hope one day you can forgive me."

For the first time in months, he was looking at the woman he had married, and he could tell she understood how badly she had screwed up. He still loved her, and that was the hardest part of the divorce. Before the affair there was nothing he wouldn't do for this woman, but what she had done was so devastating that he didn't know how to forgive her. He could not see a way back.

After all their years together, she could read his feelings and she continued, "Steven, if it were the other way around, I would divorce you in a minute and never look back. I know this is a lot to ask, but I'm begging you to give me a second chance. I will do anything to save what we had. The children, our happy home, all the love we once had can come back, I promise. I'll do anything you want. They didn't fire me, but I'll quit my job and be a stay-at-home mom, and take care of you and the kids. I swear I'll never so much as look at another man as long as I live. Just one chance is all I ask for.

Epilogue:

The divorce went through and Steven paid dearly for his wife's affair. He knew the court would award Stacey the children and the house, which he took off the market after talking to the attorney. But after all that happened, he couldn't stay married to her. The girls weren't happy, and their home life was miserable. Steven would visit the girls on weekends and tried to get them to stop hating their mother.

"Dad, because of what she did, we're not a family anymore. We hate her and can't wait until we can move out and go away to college. We miss the life we had, but she ruined everything and we can't forgive her for that. Dad, all she does is work, come home and cry. We know she regrets what she did, but we lost you and our lives suck now. Why can't we live with you?" Shelby, the oldest, was so angry at her mother and was showing how hurt my two girls were from Stacey's affair.

"Well, the court awarded custody to your mother. Maybe if we talk to her, she'll let you stay with me longer than just a weekend. I'll try, but I'm not promising anything. In the meantime, you should try to be a little nicer to her. After all, she's your mother and I've taught you that we always forgive others."

"Have you forgiven her, Daddy?"

I didn't answer and parked the car in front of the movie theater. I tried to talk to Stacey about the girls, but she said I needed to move back home and forgive her if I wanted to see more of them. She was still hoping for a miracle.

Right after the divorce, Steven dated several women and tried to live as a single man again. He was still young, good-looking and successful, which attracted many women from the office, friends from the neighborhood, and from the gym who knew about his divorce.

When Stacey learned that her ex-husband was seeing other women, her depression deepened. She hadn't anticipated anything like this and it hurt to know that the man she loved was dating other women. She now understood some of the pain she had caused. After the divorce, she didn't date, and knew that if Steven learned she was going out, he would never give her another chance. Stacey was convinced that she could win him back. She had to prove her commitment and love to him, and if that meant not having sex, not dating, and living like a nun, that was a small price to pay for her stupidity, and the loss of the man she loved so dearly.

After several months and a dozen different women, Steven realized that none of them could fill the hole left by Stacey. He compared every date to Stacey, and none of them came close. The sex was good, and he enjoyed the variety of women, but none of them satisfied him like Stacey did. He knew he still loved her and hated what she had done. What he hated even more, was knowing that the only way to make things whole was to forgive her and take her back on his terms. Over the next few months, he kept dating and trying to forget the woman he was still in love with.

Living frugally on the divorce settlement, Stacey did in fact become a stay-at-home mom, never dated anyone and treated Steven with special warmth and love when he came over for the girls. She always made sure to dress nicely for him, offer him lunch or dinner, and have his favorite beer ready in his favorite frozen mug. She was not giving up and continued her quest to win him back.

A year after the divorce, Stacey invited him to an anniversary dinner for old times' sake. She begged him for this one time to help her find some closure after admitting how much she had suffered and that she was plagued by depression from her actions.

He agreed and they met at their favorite Italian restaurant where they had celebrated so many life events over the years. Louie, the owner, was happy to see them and welcomed them like long-lost friends. It felt so familiar and comfortable, as if nothing had changed between them. Surprisingly, they had an amazing evening together and never discussed the divorce or her affair. Instead, they talked about the girls, old times and funny stories they shared over the years.

After dinner, as they waited for the valet to bring the car, Stacey thanked him for being a great date and for the wonderful dinner.

"Can we do this again, Steven? I missed you so much and I want to spend more time with you."

"I had a good time and I still love you Stacey, you know that. To be honest, I'm not sure about anything and I don't think I can handle that level of hurt again. I've only begun to heal my broken heart and I'm not sure I can trust it in your hands."

Tears rolled down her face as she threw her arms around him, hugging him so tightly that he found it hard to breathe.

Still clutched to her, he gently pushed her back and said, "Stacey, let's take it slow and I'll call you."

"Promise?" She was asking now with pleading eyes as he held her gaze.

"I promise, maybe just a few dates might even help," he said with tears in his eyes and his heart pounding in his chest.

They dated slowly at first, but after a few months their relationship grew and her persuasion to take her back seemed to be working. Stacey was determined to win him back at all costs. This included long talks, counseling sessions, and open, honest conversations with promises to never lie or cheat again.

There were many difficult conversations, shouting and arguments, but their love for each other won out, and after six months of dating, Steven moved back home. The girls were ecstatic and even happier for their mom and dad. Stacey felt reborn. Two months later, they were remarried with a prenuptial agreement with strict penalties that she gladly agreed to. They shared their vows again and Stacey told Steven that she would never break them under any circumstances, including another attack of the 'Stupid's.'

At the altar, she looked at her husband and said her vows, telling him loudly enough for everyone to hear, "I will never betray you or leave you for the rest of my life and forever. I love you."

Greg wasn't invited to the wedding and lost his lifelong friend because of his selfishness and lust. He also spent a month in the hospital after being attacked by an unknown assailant as he was leaving his local pub. In addition to the two broken kneecaps, he got a message loud and clear when one of the attackers suggested he stay away from married women in the future. His knees would heal, but he would spend the rest of his life limping, which would always remind him of his betrayal and loss.

When his alternate world collided, Greg became a bitter man. He lost his plush job as VP of Contracts. No other firms in their area wanted anything to do with him because of the lawsuit from his work-place affair. He had to settle for a sales position at Staples. He lost his wife, his home, the respect from his children, and most of his money. He lived in a small studio apartment near the warehouse district and was forced to take a second job as a telemarketer in the evenings to make ends meet. His new world turned him into a lonely recluse, and an outcast from his friends and family. His hubris and self-confidence were now just a reflection of the past.

Why did I take her back? Because of "UnLove."

What is the most difficult task in the world?

To UnLove the person you love the most

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AnonymousAnonymous3 days ago

Have to say like some others here, a one night stand or short fling can perhaps be forgiven, but an 18-month one, No. If the errant wife was such a compartmentalizing narcissist, I can't see such a character taking the long road of 'winning' him back. It's just out of character. Any thinking Ex would always harbor suspicions about such a longtime deception. It would poison reconciliation despite an earnest desire to do so for the sake of the minor child. Such longterm deception argues for someone to be a serial adulterer. The problem here is that the husband didn't give it enough time to get over the failed marriage and move on.

AnonymousAnonymous3 days ago

"He knew he still loved her and hated what she had done. What he hated even more, was knowing that the only way to make things whole was to forgive her and take her back on his terms. " - There you have it, the crux of the issue.

CindyTV uses fictional caricatures to make her points, often boiling down to essential aspects. I think it's why she is liked so much. It's nice to see story lines that aren't so polar: either BTB vs. RAAC. Aside from joint history and baggage, couples reconcile longterm when the offending spouse is seen to do two things:

1. demonstrate true remorse, and maybe even more importantly, 2. makes restitution to restore the betrayed spouse's dignity. What this latter is depends on the couple, their history, and their joint baggage. If the cheated-on spouse doesn't see some action to restore mutual respect, then the marital intimacy usually doesn't return. And it's more than just sex, as this story relates well.

My wife cheated on me early in our marriage, coming from a party girl atmosphere in college. If not for a 2 year-old and a loving MIL, I would not have delayed long enough for her to convince me of her remorse and start making amends. Still it took almost 3 years. That was 12 years ago. Cheaters most often forget that loving children are biology or fictive biology, but marriage is a construct. Sane people must love their children, but not necessarily a partner. CindyTV makes this point so well.

Thank you Cindy for such stories.

AnonymousAnonymous7 days ago

It can go anyway, but men beware!! The affair only affect men, woman still get their husband and children, but men... Ha ha the are burned.

Why such hypocrisy of society? The affair involved both men and women so why men suffered not women.

HYPOCRISY OF SOCIETY AT IT'S BEST

AmbulAmbul12 days ago

I liked this story and the author did a very thoughtful job with it. The story and the author received the usual nasty comments from people who seem to see life as invariably a black and white affair. I liked that the husband did not parade himself as perfectly virtuous and so he did not seem to view her cheating, awful and deplorable as it was, as nothing more than a “betrayal” of his “manliness.” That would have made him as self-centered as she was. In the story, his love for her and her remorse and willingness to go to counseling and to prove herself to him all over again enabled them, with great difficulty, to re-establish their relationship and empathy for each other. Different, no doubt, but apparently solid. And their kids loved it.

AnonymousAnonymous13 days ago

Cindy wrote a good story but totally beyond even faintly close to reality. I submit NO MAN could get past what his wife did. The PTSD effect of a betrayal of this magnitude can not be healed. It will ALWAYS be remembered and forever be a roadblock to trust. Further, she BLACKMAILS him with his daughters with the insane demand, move back and forgive her. She is a true narcissist and only cares for what she wants.

Last point. "I still love her.." is a delussional self protective state. What her loves is the woman she used to be. She became a different person in the same body and he simply can't see it. Why authors never write in pre/post divorce healing counseling for the man baffles me.

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