by MrIllusion
I do not often offer comment as the stories seem to stand on their own, however this one seems to have captured my imagination. Well done!!
OK premise.
But sex is soooooo lacking in details.
She sucks his cock, for example. Fine. Details? What does he say? What does she ask?
Three stars.
Too too good. The best story I've ever read so far. Lovely. BTW I'm still having a raging hard on
Without a doubt, this has been the best story I have ever had the pleasure of reading! Completely absorbed with heart pounding the whole ride.
Geezus, that was crazy sexy! More! More! Lol but seriously well done 👍👍
i just hope you keep wrighting I like everything you do keep up the great work.
I have to agree with the other comments made. This is a beautiful love story. Thank you for writing it. I too look forward to reading the next part. ;-p
OMG,One among the most beautiful sex relation between a sister and her brother !The story is so well written, The desire since he saw his sister's pussy ,goes crescendo,and same for the sister. .I jacked my cock very hard thinking about my own sister..about her awesome body. .about her thick pussy hairs. .about her beautiful boobs and their long tits. Her pair of asses is illegible to win.a GOLDEN GLOBE!!! A body which I know very well, because I had peeped at her several times when she was in the bathroom, undressing,very often caressing her tits and her pussy, I came twice after reading this story three times .I hope that my dream to fuck my sister will become true..as I have now started to let her see that I look at her from head to toe ..I have even licked her wet dirty panties and change the original places where these panties were.,,
This is the second time I read this story and it is EVEN BETTER!!!!
I look forward for retreading the last two episodes.
amazing. I love how you build your stories and always leave room for more
Love your story, perfect pace and amazing detail! IMHO you're a Guru!
Stories like this are far and between, keep this kind of story alive.
With this kind of story, someone will start a fan club just for you.
Well written, well done.....Now for pt.2
This was as good or better than "MY SISTERS BET". Since I have read that one more than once that's something.
This is one of my very FAVORITE STORIES. I look forward to reading Chapter 2 and the Alternate ending.
Loved it with the following minor critique. Too much emphasis on the unrealistic darkness in the cabin. Sorry but it's not true that you literally can't see anything in a dark room. Maybe that's a fetish thing or something but personally I prefer to see what I am enjoying. Other than that great. Maybe spend a bit more time on the actual act.
So well written that I could see the emotions on Carrie's face even in a dark room. Great visual descriptions (Nice tits!). Seriously, a beautiful story and the honest, "no nonsense" dialogue between brother and sister just made it better. Truly erotic. 5*
In that situation, I'd think they'd be damn scared of being caught. However that wouldn't have stopped me at that age. Good story. The fact that Carrie 'accidentally' flashed her brother in the car has me suspicious. You never know what's going on in the head of your hot sister. At least I usually didn't.
Such a thrilling story with a strong build up and wonderful use of descriptive dialogue.
Having experiences similar myself it brought many many feeling back and was an absolute delight to read, well done you for an excellent story..
Very nice... Reminded me of a storm week spent in the same bed with my older step sister. Lost my virginity that week. Nothing but find memories.
Adding more to this story could only be a delight for your readers!
How wonderful, as a brother, to have a sister as beautiful and loving as Carrie. You did a masterful time starting and building this story. I loved the way you let Carrie "flash" her brother and excite him.
You did a fantastic time letting their love for each other build. They always were close and they needed someone to bring that love closer.
I hope you continue with Chapter 3 and beyond.
Two people who love one another and share that love is amazing...
WOW. It just happens to be brother and sister.
The story has the best possible ending. It doesn't need a sequel. A sequel would truly ruin it?
Love the tenderness and affection between Brother and Sister.
I got just as hard as the first time and just as horny.
You did a beautiful job of building the story and bringing the two siblings together.
I hope you continue the series.
Will they continue to develop this love?
Lots of writers use "peaking" when they mean "look at". They are wrong.
"Peaking" means reaching a height, maybe the top of a mountain or organism. Could be a feeling.
"Peeking" means looking at, maybe surreptitiously, like at your sister. It involves the eyes.
You also use the word "wanna", perfectly correctly. But it often feels out of place, like your characters speak better that that. So, I suggest you use "want to" unless you are seeking a kind of effect.
Thank you for great stories.
This was glorious. Wonderful pacing all the way through. The sex details were intimate and enticing. I wanted to be there!
And I am blown away by how your writing has improved since the beginning. Let's just say, you do great stuff.
Thank you.
That was a fantastic story. One of the best I've ever read. Please do at least one more chapter
Your story was well written with few, or maybe no typos. A great story can be ruined by poor grammar and typos. Please write more.
Wow! This was a really good read! Loved the storytelling. I haven't written a story in ages but I'm still an avid reader and this was amongst the best I've read recently.
Keep up the good work!
PS, that little paragraph of having seen someone in say a bikini or underwear compared to a hiked up skirt or dress was so spot on!
I would love to read of further episodes not only of the week at the cabin but through the years as well
I liked this story and though I think sequels usually fall short of the original, I would like to hear more of what happened at the cabin.
If I could make one suggestion - when I was young I never called my sister 'sister', I always used her name. I know you probably did this to keep the reader aware that the couple was brother and sister, but to me it seemed unnatural. Along the same line, some of the dialogue was a bit too formal but not enough to stop me from finishing the story.
All in all you've done a very good job and if you choose to write a sequel please link it to this one. Thank you!
Hot story, nice build up. I’ d love a sequel. Maybe mom discovers their lovemaking and wants to get involved. She might suggest to her daughter that she shows skin and slowly seduces daddy, while in the meantime she seduces her son...,
great story, i think she should forget her pills and he should knock her up
I liked that, it flowed, not forced, for all i know it really did happen.
Be nice to read on to the next part of thier relationship
Well doe 5*
One of the best Brother and Sister story. I loved the way you started the story in the car and slowly built up to an EROTIC STORY of LOVE AND TENDERNESS.
I was not surprised that the brother was a virgin, but I was surprised that his sister was a virgin. She seemed more advanced in sex that her brother. You did a beautiful job of bringing the brother along. I only wish I had a sister like his.
I hope you continue the series.
Excellent story, and very good writing. You were able to create these characters that came across as very likeable, believable, and full of an adventurous innocence that seemed natural, not forced or contrived. I really appreciated how you built up their evolution from uncertainty to fully engaged participants in a forbidden intimacy. How it began with unintended opportunistic voyeurism and escalated with an urgency as they lay there immersed in the heavy sexual tension that had filled the room. Lying there in cover of darkness masking their arousal, as they felt one another out with their words, and the many things they may mean left hanging in the air. Well done, is all I can say. And more, if you’re feeling it. I think these two have much mored to do.
You two have so much more to try and do. Please write another cult! What happens next? Is sister on the pill and how far will this go, could getting her pregnant come about? She could always blame it a one night stand. Do you get to take her cherry ass??????
What a well written story and what a wonderful tale, it was like being there.
This is the best story I've read in a while. I can't wait to see the sequel.
This was really good. Hope to see more exploring and experimenting between the two. Maybe even a little anal? Or Mom and Dad lending a helping hand?
Oh well, can’t wait to see what’s next.
It's would be great if mom and dad are going to be there in the next chapter
My cock is going to burst !!! Great story
Mutual curiosity, exploration, discovery, and satisfaction. I got the feeling they were learning as much about themselves as each other.
They have more to learn, more to share.
Wonderful written - thanks a lot! And it would be great being able to read a second part.
That was the best I have read in a long time. My favorite writer has always been Allwayswantedto.... but now.... I can hardly wait for that sequel.... I love the way you take your time and lead into it.... thank you for a very very good read.
Oh my God,this was fucking hot!!! More please!!! Maybe have Carrie stick a tree branch deep in his ass while she sucks him off.
I hope there is a sequel. This was a very nicely and captivating story. When you reach the end you keep thinking there needs to be more. What happens next? How do they respond to one another the following day, week, etc. You have taken us from being voyeurs in the car to participate in the loss of their virginity’s. Please let us follow their continued growth in sexuality.
I never leave comments, but this was hot. Please bring us more, and let the relationship evolve. I would love to read more sexual exploration and let them grow in love. Maybe she gets pregnant?
Very much enjoyed this. Would love to read the next one. Btw there were some typos here and there so go back over this one and get one or more person to act as an editor to proof read it to find the faults and maybe to expand it further.
I think that I am not alone when I say that I want - make that "NEED" - at least two or three sequels to this story! FAN-'EFFIN-TASTIC!
That was one hell of a good story, and as some other have said, possibly one of the best, and yes lets have a part two
Think part two should include his other sister, who is a lot older, maybe around 30 years old, and has experienced in sex, and they have a threesome
He got it right the only way is just stick it all the way up her and shot his cum deep up inside her unprotected pussy
One of the best I have read
A sequel,or series would be exciting and fill of possibilities!