Looking Back and Looking Forward

Hello there,

As the Beatles once sang, it was thirty years ago today. Well, maybe not exactly today, more like last Spring, that I wrote my first erotic story. It was a quite forgettable tale, so much so that I really can't remember what it was about, only that I had written it for a local Gay and Lesbian BBS (remember them?) and that perhaps all of three people read it, or at least commented on it. Two more stories followed, one of which was called Prom Date and another that, while I do recall the story, never thought it worth redoing. A good indicator of how long ago that was is the fact that I wrote them on my then, top of the line, Commodore 64.

At the time, I was a thirty-six-year-old housewife, married four years, and the mother of a three-year-old daughter. Three things I wouldn't have imagined five years before. As anyone who's dealt with a toddler knows, there are times when you desperately need some sort of distraction and, not really being one for afternoon drinking, I took up writing. Part of that choice grew out of a friend introducing me to the newsgroup alt.sex.stories on Usenet once we'd gotten a real computer -- a Packard Bell. Looking at many of the stories that I found there, I figured I couldn't do much worse.

A rewrite of Prom Date (which was later again rewritten as Prom Night) was my first effort, and while it didn't exactly generate a wellspring of encouragement, I did get enough positive feedback to make me want to give writing another go. My second effort got about the same reaction, which led to a third.

My first few stories were lesbian tales, well, at least bisexual, which seemed appropriate enough since I'd been bi since my teens. In the years between that discovery and my transformation into wife and mother, I led a, if not quite as adventurous as some might imagine, interesting life. With that in mind, the question presented itself, what should I write about? Should I just write about girl on girl sex, adhering to the old adage, write about what you know best, or should I expand my horizons? Before I could answer that, a second question presented itself -- could I even write about anything else?

So, what I did was take a really good look at what other people were writing about. Or more specifically, the various genres they wrote about, and tried to come up with a story in each one. Some weren't bad. A few were, at least in my opinion, pretty good, and a couple were, looking back now, goddamn awful. So much so that I didn't even repost them to Literotica when I moved my works here in 2017. Still, I found what I was good at, and not so good. The most important thing I learned, was to just write. Through trial and error, as well as helpful advice from other authors, I learned how to structure a story and plot things out beforehand -- as opposed to just sitting down and hitting the keys and seeing what developed.

Soon enough, my daughter was in school and I found myself with more time on my hands, time which I found myself writing more. As anyone who enjoys writing can tell you, it isn't something that's confined to when you're sitting in front of a keyboard. You find yourself getting ideas in all sorts of interesting places, even writing entire paragraphs in your head -- hoping that you remember most of it when you have a chance to put it down on paper. I quickly learned to carry around a small notepad, even though that's now progressed to a file on my cell phone.

In the end, not every idea leads to a story. In fact, of those that do become one, not all survive. Many times, I'll hit a dead end in a story and wind up either abandoning the idea, or putting it aside in the hope that I might make something of it later. I think my record for finishing a story like that was six years after I first started it.

Before I get too far off track, I want to go back to what I said about being helped by others. As I said in my mini-bio, when I started writing stories, I hadn't written anything longer than a letter since high school, and that was back in the 70s. I did take some college courses along the way, but creative writing wasn't one of them. What I did learn as I became more proficient were my biggest weaknesses. Spell and Grammar check programs only go so far, and they usually don't help at all if you use the wrong word but spell it correctly.

Over the years, I've benefited from some very patient proofreaders, for whom I will always be grateful. I won't list their names in order to protect their privacy, but I try to never miss an opportunity to remind them of how much I appreciate their help -- especially when I make some of the same mistakes over and over again. As hard as you try, you really can't proof your own work, if only for the fact that often see what it was supposed to say, not what you actually wrote.

Readers often asked, where do I get my story ideas? Well, there's no simple answer. I've always been a prolific reader, with a primary interest in comics, science fiction and history. (both actual and alternate) Those who have followed my work will recognize elements of all in some of my tales. If I had to narrow it down, I think I can honestly say I'm inspired by two questions. The first is -- what if? The second -- how did they get there?

What if is simple enough. You take a situation, real or imaginary, and simply ask what might happen if the people involved were to go just a bit further. I get many comments from people that say a particular story reminds them of a similar situation in their own life. That's the advantage of fiction, you get to steer destiny in any direction you want. I've always been a good listener, and for reasons that sometimes baffle me, people have always felt comfortable sharing experiences with me. The fictionalized version of some of those events might find their way into a story, but only after any identifying elements were removed. I've never written about anyone I've known, or used their personal story directly.

A larger majority of stories, I think, are born out of the second category. They start with a spark, which could come from just about anything, a book, a scene from a movie or television show, or even just a photograph. Sometimes even real life. It doesn't have to even be erotic, just interesting enough to make me ask -- who are these people, where might they have come from and more importantly, where do they go from here. Sometimes it's even just a few lines of dialogue or a lyric from a song. It can even be a casual encounter under the most innocuous of circumstances.

Many years ago, I was riding the train into Manhattan and across from me were two young women in their early twenties. One was Black and the other Asian. I don't know if they even knew each other, but both attracted my interest and I began to fantasize about them being a couple. (I often entertain sexual fantasies in my head to pass the time). Our shared ride probably didn't last more than a few stops, but the two made such an impact on me that long afterwards, I wrote an entire story around that brief fantasy. If you're curious, it was Joy and Happiness.

There is also a third category, namely fan fiction. I love good fan fiction. Good, being in my mind, stories in which the characters remain true to the versions in their original medium -- well at least to a point that they are still recognizable. Who hasn't wondered what the characters from your favorite book or show do for a sex life? Or if that sex life might be just a bit different than previously portrayed. They key, again, only in my opinion, is that you can bend their reality, but just don't break it.

One of my few disappointments since moving to Literotica is that my fan fictions don't seem to get as much of a read as my original works. I actually think that some of them are my best work, if only for the fact that it's a lot harder to write about someone else's characters. Now I can understand if someone didn't like the source material, Star Trek or comic based characters for example, but many stories are from shows about ordinary life with the only difference being that I'm playing in someone else's sandbox. Examples would be Bipartisanship (the West Wing), The Night The World Didn't End (Mad Men), Sisters In Army Green (M*A*S*H & China Beach) and Just One Of The Guys (movie of the same name). Yeah, that was a plug. (grin)

I sometimes wonder if the low readership is due to the fact that fan fiction is combined with celebrities, a category I personally have a bit of a problem with. But again, that's just me, and while I might not want to write or read stories about 'real' people, I don't begrudge anyone who does. Like other categories that don't interest me, I just don't read them. Still, I wish it had its own slot.

Okay, back to how I write. As I stated in the beginning, I first used to write while my daughter didn't need my immediate attention and later when she was in school. Later, when I went back to work, I had a lot of downtime in the office I worked in and liked to tinker with stories that I kept on a flash drive. Actual writing shifted to the evenings, usually when my husband worked the night shift. Now retired, I find that I'm the most creative in the early morning, although writing now has to compete with other activities in that part of the day.

As I state in the Author's Note that I've started prefacing my stories with, I value comments on my stories more than votes. The number of things that vie for my attention has increased as I've gotten older and, as much as I love writing, sometimes it's hard to justify the hours, and it is literally hours, it takes to tell a good story. The days of knocking out a story in a single afternoon are far behind me and there are times when I think maybe I should put Ann Douglas behind me. In case someone doesn't know, Ann is a nom de plume. I thought I'd mention that before you think I've started to refer to her in the third person. Back when I posted on a BBS, it was simply AnnD (because of character limitations), a name I carried with me to A.S.S. initially, but then expanded to Ann Douglas when people seemed to think AnnD stood for Andy. In fact, for the longest time, many people seemed to insist that I had to be a guy because women didn't think like I did. I never understood that, both the idea that a woman couldn't have a dirty mind, or why I would need to hide behind a female identity? It wasn't like I was charging for the stories or anything like that.

Anyway, like I was saying, there are times I wonder if it might be time to lay down my quill, but then I get just the right comment about a story that makes me reconsider. I'm not looking for constant praise, well, at least not constant. After all, what writer doesn't have an ego? What I really enjoy, however, is the interaction with readers, and while I know that isn't what most of the people on Literotica are here for, I've met some interesting people online over the years. People who I'll never actually meet, but who have touched me with their words. So, for now, the stories will most likely go on, even if it's in a reduced number.

Before I wrap this up, there is another question that I've been asked a lot lately which I'd like to answer. Why have the preponderance of recent stories been set in the past? Well, as I get older, I've been finding more of a disconnect with society, or at least a step back from it. As a now certifiable senior citizen, my view of things can sometimes be dated. Note I said dated, not outdated. In many ways, my friends and I were far ahead of our times, although we might have been a bit less vocal about it or used a different terminology. Because of that, I'm just finding it easier to place more stories in years where I don't have to worry about using the proper word or such. Also, it lets me indulge in my love of history at the same time. Although it's hard to think of events I lived through as history, just as it seems strange to think of myself as someone who recently turned sixty-seven.

That's it for the moment, other than to wish all of you the best in the coming year.

Ann