Loose Lips

JILL

Going to work on Friday was difficult for me. It got even worse when a young man came to my office and asked if I was Jill Thompson. After I said 'yes,' he gave me an envelope and said, "You've been served." I started crying. Soon, there was a knock on my door. I mopped up some tears and checked my appearance in my compact mirror before saying, "Come in." It was Mark, the resident skirt-chaser in the office.

"What do you want Mark?"

"I just wanted you to know that I have never been called 'Dinky Dick.' The women I've been with have all been more than satisfied with my length and width. So, if you want to know what sex is like with a bigger man, I'm willing and available."

I sat back in shock. "Who the hell do you think you are? Get out of my office before I report you for sexual harassment!"

"Okay, don't get your panties in a wad. I'll go, but the offer still stands. Think about it." He grabbed his crotch as he left.

I put my head down on my desk and just bawled my eyes out. I was tempted to bang my head against the desk. Once I got somewhat under control, I took the rest of the day off and got drunk, at home, by myself.

JACK

I worked long, hard hours to get a grasp on what all needed to be done at the Phoenix office. My hardest decision was going to be whether or not the Assistant Director would be able to keep the branch going even after I had straightened things out. After about six weeks, our efforts seemed to be paying off. Dead wood employees were terminated with severance pay. Productivity rose. Employee and client satisfaction was up. I was still wavering on whether or not we should promote the Assistant Director. Regardless, I now found I had time for things other than work. I could think about my marriage.

It hurt every time I thought about my 'Dinky Dick.' The worst part was that I do have a small penis but had convinced myself that 'The size doesn't matter, it's what you do with it.' Now I wondered if I was adequate size wise or technique wise. None of the girls I had sex with, nor my wife had ever mentioned it being a problem. I guess they didn't want to hurt my feelings. Now I'm afraid I know why a couple of girls didn't accept another date after we had sex.

I guess because I was happy making love with Jill, I thought she felt the same. Obviously, she didn't. If Jill and I were going to stay married or even if I wanted to re-marry after a divorce, I had to do something to increase my abilities to satisfy a woman. Regardless of the way Jill chose to let me know of my inadequacy, I needed to see if I could improve my love making.

I didn't know of any way to increase my size. Believe me, I read the reviews of all the so-called pills that 'guaranteed' a larger penis. It was improved technique or nothing. In thinking about who might know the most about satisfying a woman, I concluded that lesbians would know.

The was one woman at the Phoenix office who made no bones about being a lesbian and was actually married to another woman. I asked her to lunch. After she was sure I was not hitting on her, she accepted. I told her that I was trusting her to keep our conversation totally confidential. Basically, I was asking her to teach me how to pleasure a woman without using my dick. She had trouble keeping a smile off her face. When I offered to pay her for lessons, she saw how serious I was and realized that I thought my marriage might be hanging in the balance.

Sharon agreed to talk to her partner and let me know. The next day she said that she her partner would be willing to help me. She wanted her partner to be the one to actually have physical contact with me to prevent a possible sexual harassment charge by or against her at work. I had no objection.

That weekend started my training. Sharon 'supervised' while her partner, Brittany, worked with me. My first revelation was that I thought I was good at cunnilingus before, but boy was I wrong. It took a couple of weeks before my abilities at oral sex reached lesbian level of quality, according to them. Anal play was totally new to me. Once I got over my aversion to licking assholes, I began adding fingers and my penis to the experience. My smaller penis actually made anal sex easier and less painful than normal. By the end of my training, Brittany was looking forward to time with me. Sharon was getting jealous, so we started having a threesome. By then we trusted each other too much to fear a lawsuit. We all had numerous orgasms. As a parting gift, both women gave me the best blowjob I had ever had.

JILL

I became a slug. It was hard to get motivated to take care of my regular chores much less the chores that Jack used to perform. Doing his chores made me even more sorry about what I had done to him. I had tried several texts and emails to apologize and to plead for his forgiveness. He never responded. Finally, I tried one last, comprehensive email:

"My darling Jack. If there was any way I could take back that night, I would. I have TOTALLY loved you in every way since I have known you. That includes in the bedroom. Every woman has probably wondered how a different man's penis and skill in the bedroom might be, BUT few have taken the steps to find out. I have never really wanted another man regardless of penis size. I suppose it has been a fantasy like with many women, but that was all it was, a fantasy. I don't know why I said what I did that night. I think it was a combination of the alcohol and the need to join the women in the comparison of our husband's bedroom performance.

I don't believe anything excuses what I did. I was wrong and I will accept a reasonable amount of punishment. Divorce is too extreme. Many women get a second chance from their husbands when they have had an affair. Surely that would be worse than the inappropriate statements I made. I will never do anything like that again. Ever. Please give me a second chance. Tell me what I can do to make things better. I believe in our marriage. I believe in the family we will have. Please forgive me. I don't know what I would do without you.

All my love, Jill"

JACK

I had read all of Jill's prior texts and emails. None had motivated me to respond until this last email. My anger had subsided, but I tried my best to state my position:

"Jill: It is hard for me to compare the deep love I had for you with the feeling I had after hearing what you really thought of my sexual abilities. I admit that I have a small penis. But you knew that before we were married. You knew that for seven years of marriage. You never mentioned any dissatisfaction or faked orgasms. You led me to believe everything was okay. Then I find out from your own mouth that I was a 'Dinky Dick' and that you faked orgasms AND you wanted to try a bigger dick.

Regardless of your professions that your statements were caused by alcohol and/or peer pressure, I have to believe that you feel that way, at least to some degree. If we get back together, and that's still really in question, I will always be wondering when you will be tempted to try a man with a larger penis. I will always be wondering if your orgasms are real. I will always be wondering what you tell your friends about me behind my back. That is why I suggested you try a man with a large dick. You may find out that a bigger penis is what you really want. You may find out that it isn't. As much as I hate the idea of you having sex with another man, I think you need to find out so neither of us has to wonder anymore. Otherwise, I think we would both be wondering and that would harm our relationship in the future.

I have also come to believe that part of our problem was that maybe I should have considered what a small penis was unable to do. I have taken steps to learn how to satisfy a woman. That has meant that I have been intimate with a woman. I am sorry if that upsets you. So far, that intimacy has not meant anything beyond practicing some sexual techniques. I have come to realize I still love you, but that doesn't mean I think it is the best thing to stay married to you. If we get back together, it should mean that I am better able to please you. If we don't get back together, I hope it means that I will be able to please the next woman better than I could before.

I hope you consider what I have written as a possible way for us to have a good future whether we are together or not.

I do love you, Jack"

In writing that email, I realized that most of my bitterness over Jill's inappropriate disclosure had dissipated. I wanted to become good enough in bed, she would not desire any penis other than mine.

JILL

Being alone in our house was horrible. Jack's smell on his pillowcase was the worst. It reminded me of how much I missed him and our sex life, but I couldn't bear to wash the case. Jack was a terrific lover even though he wasn't a great fucker. I kept telling myself how stupid I had been, and I didn't ever get a denial. I was in a blue funk for weeks. It took my friend, Liz, to help me recover.

"You're beating yourself to death for no good reason. You said something after too many drinks and hurt his male ego. Instead of talking to you, he leaves. You didn't even have an affair and he goes all 'I want a divorce' on you. You may have made a mistake, but his overreaction was a bigger mistake. If he doesn't come to his senses, make sure he suffers in the divorce. Now, let's see about getting you some larger dicks to try out."

"What? Are you kidding? That would kill my marriage for sure."

"Honey, you're legally separated. Don't you see. He is telling you to try another man because he needed justification for being able to get some strange for himself. I guarantee you he had been banging someone else for weeks now. Jack told you, he dared you, he almost begged you to try some larger penises because he thought you wouldn't do it. Jack is having the time of his life while you're waiting to beg his forgiveness. Bullshit. Take him up on sampling someone larger. He's got no room to complain. He told you to. It would serve him right for you to find someone with a bigger dick you could love as much as him."

I thought about it for a couple of weeks. Jack did ask me to try a larger man. I admit, being super horny all that time helped influence my decision. I did something I never thought I would do: I asked Mark to come to my office. He came in and asked why I had called. I said I was wondering if his offer was still available. I thought he was going to have a seizure. I told him that I took his reaction as a yes. He stammered out a "Where? When?" I replied that he should choose and let me know. Just not at my and Jack's house and nowhere cheap.

That night we were at the Holiday Inn. His clothes were on the floor before I even got my shoes off. I was glad to see he wasn't lying about his penis size. It appeared to be about twice the size as Jack's. I was going to get my wish, but I didn't feel happy about it. Mark's foreplay techniques were few and fast. I was barely wet when he started working his penis into me. It was difficult at first because of my dryness and not being used to a penis that large. I got very little pleasure during the few minutes it took for him to ejaculate. He apologized and said he would do better as soon as he recovered. Mark asked me to help by giving him a blowjob. I refused. I know it sounds strange, but a blowjob seemed too intimate to me even though I was willing for him to fuck me.

Mark did recover and the second time was definitely better. I was wetter and I found that a larger dick was better for the fucking part of making love. I enjoyed it enough that I almost had an orgasm. What was missing was the loving part. Mark certainly had lust going for him, but there was no love. I thanked him and headed home.

Once I lay down in my and Jack's bed, I started bawling. Despite the fact that Jack asked me to, I thought of sex with Mark as my betraying my marriage vows. Then I wondered if Jack was having the same feelings with his sampling other women. I concluded that trying a larger dick had been accomplished and I did not need to try anyone else. I wanted to concentrate on how I was going to get Jack back after the 90 days. I decided to try my best to contact him directly. I wanted him to know how much I wanted to make our marriage work again.

I knew it would be difficult to repress my desire for sex until Jack got back. Even then I knew I was assuming he would want to have sex with me when he returned. I decided to get a dildo. Since I enjoyed Mark's size, I got a dildo that approximated his length and girth. I thought it only appropriate to name it 'Mark.'

JACK

When I told the lesbian couple about the deal I had made with Jill where she was supposed to try some guys with a large penis. Meanwhile I was to try to learn some techniques to please a woman. They said that the deal wasn't equal. The girls suggested that I try and see the difference a smaller, tighter pussy would make to me. They told me that there was one tiny woman in the office secretarial pool who was about to be evicted for failure to pay rent. She needed money desperately. They offered to talk to her for me. I agreed.

Soon I met with Misha in a secure location. She was 'cute.' Misha was often mistaken for a teenager. She stood 4 foot 10 inches and probably weighed less than 100 pounds. Her breasts and ass were small but looked proportionate to her height. In reality, she was a 26 year-old, single parent who had been divorced for two years. She wanted a written agreement about the arrangement. Misha demanded $5000 in advance, no refund. She said she had several bills and nothing of value to sell except her body. I could tell it hurt her having to turn to prostitution.

I had agreed to her conditions. We went to dinner at a restaurant that was dark and had few patrons. She still looked around as if someone might recognize her and what she was doing. Dinner was kind of weird as we both knew sex was expected after dinner. I ordered wine for us and Misha got carded. We both laughed over that and it helped ease the tension. I asked when she wanted the money. She said to wait until we got to my apartment. I don't think either of us enjoyed the meal, but the wine did help.

We went to my apartment and looked at each other as if we both were trying to figure out where to start. I asked if I could undress her. She consented. I took my time and gave kisses, caresses, and touches as I removed each article of clothing. Misha seemed shy. She explained that she was self-conscious of her small breasts. I assured her that they looked perfect on her body. Several times she shivered as I kissed and ran my fingers over her body. When I finished, Misha remarked about how long it had been, and she wanted me to hurry and get undressed.

Once she was totally naked, I just stood and scanned her whole body several times. Misha started crying, "You're disappointed, aren't you?"

"Oh God, no. You have a beautiful body I find incredibly sexy."

"Please take off your clothes, Jack. I'm uncomfortable being the only one naked."

"Would you like to help me?" Misha had me naked in two minutes and immediately hugged me.

"Please make love to me." Her plea was readily accepted.

I was very concerned about whether or not my newly learned techniques of love would please her. If her moans and groans were any indication, my training had paid off. I used all my 'lesbian-inspired' techniques and it drove her wild. Misha had just recovered from her third orgasm from my tongue and finger manipulations when she started threatening me to fuck her with my dick or else she would kill me. The moment of truth. I was wonderfully surprised when I found that her pussy tightened around my penis much tighter than any other woman I had ever had sex with. It did not take me long to have my first ejaculation.

Misha said, "I hope you recover fast. Your tongue and fingers caused some of the best orgasms I ever had. Your penis felt good, but with your size, you will need some practice."

The look of shock at her statement must have been obvious. She quickly clarified, "My understanding is that you wanted to improve your techniques while trying out a smaller vagina. I'm just being truthful to help you get better and be able to please your wife more. Am I mistaken?"

Jack stammered, "I . . . uh, no, you're right. I just thought I had done better."

"Oh, your foreplay skills are the best. We need to work on position and technique with your penis. Are you ready to go again?"

"I'm still limp."

"I can help with that." She preceded to give a wonderful blowjob. "This is the first penis I've been able to deepthroat."

"You're not doing much for my confidence as a lover."

"Sorry, I am happy not to have a man jam his penis down my throat and make me gag. You've got to get over being small and figure out how to use it well enough your wife will forget your size."

I agreed. Soon I was back up ready to go. Misha had me find her G-spot with my finger. Then we tried various positions where my penis was able to reach that spot. Soon I was causing vaginal orgasms. They may have been the first vaginal orgasms I had ever caused.

I appeared to me that Misha soon looked forward to our times together although she never stopped worrying about our being discovered. As the end of our time together came to an end, I realized I was beginning to have feelings for her. I thanked her and gave her more money beyond what we had agreed on.

"So, I guess you think I'm a pretty good whore." She looked like she was going to cry.

"Misha, you are not a whore. You are a wonderful woman who will make some man a great wife. I really appreciate what you have taught me. I will miss our time together."

"Technically, I am a whore." She smiled, "At least I'm a high-class whore." We looked at each other a while before she continued. "You know, I never would have agreed to do this if I hadn't been attracted to you. I am somewhat jealous of your wife. I hope she enjoys what you have learned. If she doesn't, there may be something wrong with her plumbing." She sighed and added, "I will miss you Jack." We kissed and said good-bye.

JILL

I finally found out that Jack was at the Phoenix office. I called but didn't use my real name. Jack answered and I said quickly, "Please don't hang up Jack. I just had to hear your voice." There was a pause, but he didn't hang up.

"I asked you not to contact me, but I admit I have been curious on how you've been doing."

"I haven't been doing well. I miss you terribly. I am so sorry, and I am anxious to talk to you about why I want to stay married."

"Well, it won't be too much longer. I hope you've used your time to find out if I'm the one you want."

"Are you asking me if I have sampled some larger dicks?"

"Yes."

"It is difficult for me to say this, but I have. You mentioned that your intimacy with other women was sexual only. I felt the same way. I do not love him. I only love you."

"Is that why you called?"

"Yes partially, I also wanted you to know that I know what I want when you return. I want my husband back. I want to make love to you over and over again. I want to prove I respect you. I want a second chance."

"Thank you. There is a lot I want to say, but I believe it is best to wait until I return. You still have time to try more than one man if you want. You still have time to make sure about what you want to do about our marriage. I have used my time away to improve as a lover. At least I hope so."

JILL

I knew Jack meant he had done plenty of 'sampling' himself. Again, with my crying. I had imagined scenarios about Jack enjoying other women, but now the images multiplied. It's hard to compete with the 'beautiful, intelligent, highly sensual' women that I could dream up. My guilt for having been with Mark started to disappear. In fact, I became resolved to do more sampling. The problem was that there was not enough time to seek someone new since I would want to find some way to check his penis size as well as feel he would be safe. I decided to stick with familiar territory.