by extremebitch_13
I really enjoyed the story line but cleaning up your grammar would make it easier to read. Keep writing.
Sexy buttocks, really?? your story is so fake...lame. it also sounds like you're a guy writing this, or a virgin, since it doesn't seem like anything that would actually happen.
. . . . uve got the magic, love . . . i want a turn. . . tell me where ur at these days
great story losing my virginity.
love the way this started awesome story fantastic writing
pitty you are not writing more.
Good details. Love it. Keep it coming. Seriously, who would come to this website to check your "grammatical errors". :)
It took no longer than reading the story to mess up my keyboard.... yummy!
Very clichéd. Very.
Learning some grammar would be a good start.
Also, the plausibility of your story is highly questionable. Try to keep it simple and not too exaggerated (seriously, how many girls would describe their own vagina as a 'snatch'?
Cant wait to read more of your awesome writings. You're very detailed and creative.
I was not able to track your early reference toa boy not being a pimp even though girls fell head over heels for him. What is the connection?
I loved this story! Nothing like a real woman with a real body! Keep the stories cumin and I will be UP for many more!
Huge tits and 'wham bam' - how dull. Too many grammatical errors, too.
Lukas
i loved ur story. the way that you put it togehter and with very great detail. it was the best story that i have ever read on this site or anyother site.