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Click hereShe leans over and kisses me, and we embrace. She says, "Even if there are times you don't remember me, even when you cannot remember me at all anymore, I will always remember you. And your children will always remember you. And we will always love you. And that's what matters."
"I love you. Lorene." I say, haltingly. "I...." I couldn't think of what to say.
"It's okay." She replies. "It will always be okay. I will always be here for you."
Time drifts and tumbles. I know I am at peace now. A warm afterglow, crying and happy at the same time. Why was I crying? Why was I happy? I suddenly can't remember. Eventually, a man comes into my room. He asks, "Are you ready for supper? Do you need help?"
"Why would I need help? Who are you? Get out of here!" I bark at him annoyed by this intrusion. But I soon realize, I actually DO need help.
"Wait... Come back..." I say, but the man is still there, unshaken. "It's all right. I'm here to help," he says, smiling. I realize there are a lot of people here right now, guests in my mother's house. Only I don't recognize the house, or any of the guests, and I ask the man where Mom is and he only shakes his head. It doesn't matter. I'm pretty tired anyway.
That night, I dream of my girlfriend Lorene, both of holding hands as we watch the sunset together on the hillside above Mom's house, in Vermont, and time stands still and we are still young, and our hearts burn for each other. And then time stands still while drifting and tumbling over itself, into nothing. Maybe she'll visit me here one of these days. The woman. Beautiful, dark hair and sparkling eyes. I can't think of her name right now...
- COMMENTS
teedeedubabout 3 years agoWell, none of us will ever know what it is like. There is no coming back to tell about it. It is much more than heartbreaking to watch your partner slowly drift away. My wife is only 62 but we are in year 5 and the 'gone' time just gradually increases and I, like so many others, are dreading the day when she no longer knows who we are. 37 years married in June. I have no idea if your story is accurate or not. I certainly hope that it is not, but I quietly fear that it may well be.
Thanks for sharing.......
Anonymousabout 3 years agoWell written. The stream of consciousness narrative seemed to capture the essence of what it must be like to have dementia. And yet we still learn so much about the narrator, which makes the story so much more poignant.
Well done.
AileyInnabout 3 years agoBeautiful. As an old guy seeing cracks in the armor, I so hope that my wife can be patient with me or me with her. Recently watched my mom fade away. Dementia is cruel. She saw it as it advanced and ended up just not being there anymore. Again, thank you for your story.
Thefirefliesabout 3 years agoThis story is beautifully sad, evoking so many genuine feelings. Five stars.
Anonymousabout 3 years agoSweet story. I watched my father struggle with early dementia. His memories were fleeting, and his stories always the same. But he couldn’t remember what happened ‘yesterday’. I only pray to never know the frustration of it myself. Your character’s wife is just as it should be. Loving. Understanding. Patient. Thank you for this sweet little vignette.
Overcriticalabout 3 years agoAll too real
My parents lived through this end-of-life process and it was dreadful to watch. My partner of 20 years died of cancer, abut was aware of everything until the end. She was in substantial pain during the last months of her illness, but she was as sharp as ever. We met late in life and didn't have the kind of memories Darrell and Lorene had, but it was good and if I think of the two alternatives, years of dementia seems to be the less desirable, but since I haven't personally lived through either I can't say for sure. I'm reminded of the anecdote told by my favorite essayist: His mother-in-law would wake up every morning and loudly shout - "Aww shit!". She was quite elderly and wanted to die in her sleep without dementia or the pain of disease and she was disappointed when she woke up each morning and found that she hadn't died in her sleep during the night. As I progress into my ninth decade I think I am beginning to understand just how she felt. 5*
A_Bierceabout 3 years agoI just tucked my wife in bed.
She asked me for the 5th or 6th time what day it is and tomorrow are are we going over to see our oldest (who lives 400 miles away) and reminds me that Mickey (on her Mickey Mouse pajamas) likes me. She asks the same questions every day, can no longer dress herself in the morning. We were married 60 years ago. You have painted what I imagine to be an accurate portrait of a mind spiraling in on itself. I cried.
lectriceggabout 3 years agoA beautiful story that brought out strong feelings. I am so thankful my parents never had to go through that. I pray my wife and I don't either.
mitchawaabout 3 years agoThank you, a wonderful story. It is well-written, and I believe you have captured the mindless thought of a man with dementia. A fictional stream of consciousness that rings true to me and brings thoughts of my sister and first wife.
